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The Perfect Guy	By : krispers Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > New Kids On The Block Views: 2841 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of the New Kids on the Block. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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She wiped the hot tears angrily from her face. She couldn’t believe she let herself do this. Why did she keep doing this to herself? There was never going to be anything more between them than this and she kept up the crazy hope that he actually loved her. God she was a stupid naïve little girl. He touched her arms and she felt that electricity again. He pulled her into him and kissed her cheek. She stood there letting him hold her, the breeze blowing around them.
“Shall we get on with the tour then” he said lightly
“Please lets do” she said with a sniff.
Things were different. A little distant. She could feel him pulling away and she had to fight not to stop it. He should her some old hang outs and the mall where they used to do shows when they were starting out.
“Are you excited about seeing them again” she asked while he was remembering
“Yeah I am and nervous too” he said with a grin
“want to measure up do you” she said with a laugh
“Yeah I guess so” he replied reflexively.
They finished their abbreviated tour of the massive city at a small pizza joint. The sun was sinking in the sky as they laughed and talked. When they finished he grabbed her hand.
“I want to show you my spot” he said with a softness she tough she would never see again.
“Your spot?” she asked curiously as she watched him hail a cab.
They made their way to a park in the city. After a little walk they came to a small bridge over a small pond. He just stood there looking out into it. The sun sank lower as they just stood by each other in the growing darkness. She smiled as she watched the city lights wink on magically.
"why did you bring me here?" she said softly to his shadowed outline. The cool breeze pushed her hair in her face. The slight chill reminded her that spring was almost fully on them.
"Hugh, what?" Jordan looked up from his daze, "What do you mean why did I bring you here?"
"Well, You said that this was your spot, where nobody else bothered you, so why me? why now?" she said with her hands out. She was really fucking tired of this new mood he seemed to be in and she was hoping that he was finally going to talk to her.
He shook his head and turned away. "I don't know, I just don't know any more."
" Don't know about what?" she said touching him lightly on his turned back
"I don't know about us" he said forcefully throwing up his hands. "When I am not with you, I am thinking about you, when I am with you all I think about is ...."
"is what?" she asked.
"Never fucking mind, Your right I don't know why I brought you here, it won't change anything...."
"well that’s a damn good thing to say", she said putting her hands on her hips "change? why are you always wanting to change things?” she said forcefully, "can't we just be who we are?"
"No no I can't be who I am!" he said walking away again, "you have no idea you have no fucking idea what it is to be me!" He said pounding a fist on his chest.
"I try" she said softly laying a hand on his burning cheek, "I do try but you don't understand what its like for me either. I can't tell anyone, I mean no one the things that we do or that we say, do you know how much that kills me to lie to my friends, Jesus Jordan, they would probably hate me if they knew" she said swiping a lone tear off her cheek
"Hate you?" he said in a confused tone, "See that is my fucking point, why do I always have to cause drama with everyone" He turned away again "my whole life I have caused nothing but drama" he laughed menacingly "and everyone thinks Jordan has it easy, what a crock of shit" he added almost to himself
"no no," she almost laughed at him "you have got it all wrong, that’s not why they would hate me"
"its not?" he was shocked at the amused look on her face. She was so naive he thought. She actually thought that they would sing and dance for her. It never happened that way and he knew that all to well.
"No" she said grabbing his hand and laughing "they would be upset that I kept it from them'. The admission sent fresh guilt through her. She had wanted so bad to talk about it to them. But...she finally admitted to herself, she was secretly afraid that they would really hate her for finally getting "their" man or worse they may not even believe her.
"really?" he said pulling his hand away, he just couldn't touch her like that right now "I figured it would be like everything else is with me, jealousy and bitching"
"you always have that with women" she laughed again "and yes some would hate me and call me names and make up horrible stuff, but the ones that matter wouldn't" she finished looking back across the perfectly still lake
"Ok" he said taking her hand back "you can tell them"
"what?" she said jerking around "you mean I can..." she trailed off trying to formulate just how she would do it
He had to laugh. He had never been with anyone like this before. He was so amused at her excitement and he was about to ask just who she was going to tell when his cell chirped.
"what? No not now, I can't, I am in the studio, just tell him to go to bed please, damn I am trying to work" he snapped it shut
Her happy plans diminished as his shutting of the phone seemed to echo in her head.
"was that..." she started looking ominously at the phone
"Yeah, she.....well ......she wanted me to come home" He said looking painfully at her
"you should" she said rubbing his hand and focusing on his wedding band, "you should go to her"
"I don't....." he began and she forced a hand over his mouth
"Don't make me your excuse," she said plainly and started to walk away.
He grabbed her arm before she could get far. "My excuse for what exactly" he said bitterly.
"Your excuse for leaving that bitch" she screamed "You don't love her you never have and I am not going to be the fucking reason you finally leave her" she finished in a dangerous tone
"I could say the same for you" he said matching her challenging tone and not looking up at her
Fury rush through her. She had to get out of there before she said something she regretted. She threw her hands up frustrated and almost ran away from him.
"where are you going?" he yelled at her
She didn't turn around, she just kept walking. When she emerged out onto the street from the park it was like she was in another world. Cars whirred by and busses trundled along. She really didn't know where she was but she figured she could get a cab back to the hotel easily enough. She walked around looking at the city. His city. She really couldn't believe that the last months had taken her here. To this place and to him. She paused along the railing of a river pass.
"Damn it all to fucking hell" she said out loud as she buried her face in her hands. She desperately needed someone to talk to. She looked down at her own cell phone, no missed calls.
"Figures" she said out loud "can't miss a call if you aren't being missed" she added.
She walked aimlessly down unknown streets as the city lights twinkled. She felt her phone vibrated and she snatched it up. Jordan. She tossed it back in her purse. She just couldn't talk to him right now. Their conversations were always in circles and never amounted to anything but the same problems they had from the beginning. She had no idea where she was going, she just needed to clear her head. The wind was blessedly cool as it passed over her hot face. She folded her arms over her chest for warmth and walked on. She looked up at the black sky and searched for the stars that she knew were there. Her throat became hot as she remembered this morning. He was so gentle so tender with her and she could see the love that had shown through his eyes. The emotion that gathered in her throat threatened to break into her welling eyes and she bit it back. She loved him and she knew it. She wasn't sure what that meant to him or if it even mattered at all. She absently thought of how many other girls out there thought they loved him, thought they knew the real him. She had been one of them at one time and the thought brought a smile to her lips. She wanted desperately to talk to someone. Someone she could trust and would give her some fucking perspective on this whole mess. Would she ever stop questioning his love or desire for her? Would she ever feel like she deserved him? She shook her head. When she looked down, she was shocked to find herself walking on what looked like the stars on the Hollywood walk of fame. Just ahead three girls where laughing and taking pictures on one. She walked up and looked down.
"Oh my god" she said out loud before she could help herself. The star belonged to NKOTB.
The girls looked around at her in annoyance.
"Sorry," one of the girls said offended "we were just remembering good ole times"
"Oh no," Kristy said apologetically "I wasn't talking about you guys, I just didn't know they had a star" she finished with a laugh and a gesture down to the sidewalk
"what?" the tallest girl said "you must not be a fan then or have you just never been to Boston?"
"well....this is my first time actually in the city part but I have been in the area" she said looking around "and yes, I have been a fan for a long time" she added with a loaded smile
They gave her a curious look. The blonde one piped up "well you must be in town for the show then" she said almost in a chirp
"Yeah well, I was.....now I am not so sure" Kristy finished picking up her vibrating cell again. Damn Jordan again, how ironic she thought absently as she tossed it back into her purse again.
"what are you crazy..." the tall girl cut the blonde off with out a care "they are going to all be in the same building again together, I just can't stand it" she almost finished with a squeal.
"Yeah I know, maybe I will see you there" Kristy turned to leave.
Damn she had forgotten about all of that. Jordan and Joe where in talks to start touring together again and the rest were supposed to show up in support. She felt a wave of guilt about upsetting Jordan so close to the show. Well he has two days to cool off she thought.
She walked back down past a noisy bar and finally hailed a cab.
"The Sheraton," she told the driver who looked at her appraisingly.
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The Perfect Guy