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On fire	By : Kat1975 Category: Individual Celebrities > Gerard Butler Views: 7043 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Gerard Butler. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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I dare you…

I dare you to live

For if we don’t dare

We can’t live life fully

Don’t wait for that perfect day

That perfect hour, minute, place or perfect moment

The perfect person to free us

When we hold all freedom inside us

Life is imperfect

But imperfection carries potential for metamorphosis

What starts out crooked may transform itself

Transform into something we never dared to expect

Something we hardly dared to hope for

So don’t give up too soon

Learn to listen to that voice within

Close your eyes and strip away all conscious thought

We’re prone to be hurt

But we need the pain to find the strength in us

We need the time in the bowels of hell

To get a chance to soar up high

Just don’t wait unmoving and miserable

Don’t wait for someone from outside

Find the strength within you and dare to live

As you will learn to love and be loved in return.

~

Tamsin suddenly rocketed into a bolt upright position „When exactly does your flight leave?“ Gerry glanced with an alarmed expression at the clock on his bedside table “SHIT”. Ten minutes later they had somehow managed to dress and Gerry realised that no taxi had been ordered thanks to his announcement to take care about that himself.

“You can drive and I can take the car back if you want” Tamsin offered. A quick grin crossed his otherwise tense expression, as he could tell that she was not unhappy about coming along and he surely did not mind either “sounds good to me…let’s go then! I really don’t wanna miss that plane”.

I was obvious that he could not care less about speeding tickets, he raced towards Heathrow once they were out of the city and on the motorway leading towards the vast airport.

**

Gerry arrived half running at the check-in, whereas Tamsin realised that she had forgotten her bag at his place and groaned. When he returned to her she told him and he smirked at her concerned expression “So? What’s the problem honey?”

“I need the bag…my keys and purse and everything is in there…”

“Well then I am afraid you’ll need to go back to mine to get it…”

“But…”

Gerry grinned widely as he put her out of her misery and took his keys out of his pockets to dangle them in front of her face “ever heard about keys? This one’s for the front door. Just keep the whole lot…” he paused before he added “…but could you do me one favour please? …I would really appreciate if you don’t lose them!” and to simplify things he took Tamsin’s hand, put the keys onto her palm and closed her fingers around them.

With a more serious expression he then stepped forward to hug and kiss her goodbye “hey, I really need to go now…” and was surprised at the realisation that this was harder than he had expected. When Tamsin quickly pulled out of his embrace, her action prompted Gerry to protest “hey, I won’t go without a kiss!”

When they parted he quickly turned and strode towards the gate, being the last person to board the plane that was waiting in the light London drizzle for its take-off slot.

She opened her hand to stare at the keys. To her these keys were not the mere metal objects with a practical function but kind of a symbol of his trust and she was sure Gerry had felt how she had needed such a sign from him.

**

It took forever to drive the thirty something kilometres back to Gerry’s Hampstead flat. More than once beads of sweat formed on her brow as the crazy London traffic made her fear for his car, that was in nothing but an immaculate condition and she intended to leave it at that. The relationship between guys and their cars was not only a big mystery to her, but she realised that it was also something better left undisturbed.

She shuddered as her brain conjured up the on first thought unpicturesque sight of Gerry lying spreadeagled and crying on the hood of his crashed car. She giggled as her thoughts wandered off into a whole new direction as on second thought it was maybe not so unattractive to have Gerry spreadeagled on the hood of a car.

Thankfully she arrived safely, parked the car with a relieved sigh and happily discarded her “sorry I kind of crashed your car Gerry…you surely can’t be mad at me for it, right?” speech.

Just as she inserted the key into the front door, the realisation hit her that she should have been at work 2 hours ago. But it also dawned on Tamsin that she did not care about this fact all that much. Good thing a friend of hers was a doc whom she simply had to woo into issuing a sick certificate. After retrieving her bag from the study, she pulled out her mobile and soon after flopped it close again, grinning with satisfaction, as her old friend Richard had immediately agreed to her request under the condition that they met for lunch later on.

Cold blooded Tamsin then proceeded to call her boss and told him she would unfortunately be sick until the end of the week. The fact that she had been pulled from the new project now proved a lucky strike since it meant she was not urgently needed.

With a light heart she locked Gerry’s door, bought a coffee on the way home and finally threw herself onto the soft cushions of her sofa. She noticed that Gerry’s earthy, masculine and sexy smell still lingered faintly where he had been lying the day before. It was somehow soothing to have this little remainder of his presence linger behind and her thoughts single-handedly travelled to Gerry who should have arrived by now and she wondered what his mother, stepdad and siblings were like.

That was not good. He had not even left for more than two hours and she was already missing him. Decidedly she shoved the stubborn thoughts aside and tried to focus on something else…like…hm…nothing interesting seemed to spring to mind other than the matter whether Gerry would spare a thought for her too.

Enough…this had to stop. With determination she got up and proceeded to the bathroom where she stepped into shower. Obviously that was the wrong place to not think of Gerry and this time the thoughts were a lot less practical and about as steamy as the clouds of vaporised hot water that arose around her in the cabin.

**

When she arrived at the restaurant for her lunch date, Richard looked all prim and trimmed, his face seemed to glow and he had a sparkle in his kind eyes. They had not been in contact for nearly a year and Tamsin exclaimed “you look great Rich” and then added with a wide grin “…and you certainly have a very happy look about you my friend!”

So he told her about the girl he had met nearly a year ago, how they planned their wedding and how excited he was that their first child was already on its way. He exuded such happiness that Tamsin could not stop to smile but what she also felt was a pang of longing.

She was surprised by the sudden realisation how much longing there was exactly bottled up inside her. A longing for that perfect relationship, for perfect happiness and for the safety of being with someone who was sure that this was what he wanted. It hurt her now that she had never been in a relationship like that although she knew full well that far too often it had been her who pushed away what she thought she wanted.

There had always been that irrational belief that some day Mr. Right would come and save her from a dreary life, but all she ever got was imperfection and of that a lot. When her mind inevitably wandered to Gerry she felt her heart sink when she thought about their problems, so manifold and grave. In such a short time together there had been so much drama that it felt hard to believe in that fairy tale happy ending she wished for.

Richard stopped her less than happy thoughts and it suddenly came to her mind that last time they had met he had been so very unhappy, heartbroken by the messy split-up from his long-term girlfriend and how he back then had considered the love of his life.

This made her realise how life’s paths more often than not take the liberty to be winding, uneven and steep rather than a well-paved straight line to life’s meaningful milestones and goals.

As they shared the news of their lives, a little voice inside her would not go away and kept insisting that she needed to have faith in that very relationship that scared her so much.

Reluctantly she told Richard about Gerry and after listening to her for a while, Richard saw what she had not yet realised herself, that she was falling in love. He saw it in her features when she mentioned him, be it only his name, noticed a spark in her eyes and could not help but notice that irrepressible little smile playing around the corners of her mouth.

When they parted ways, they promised each other to be in contact more frequently and Tamsin felt serendipitous as she jumped onto number 153 that would carry her back to her Islington flat, not knowing the exact reason for her joy.

While she watched the sunlight paint pictures and play its jolly games with the shadows, even the fact that she would not get to see Gerry for quite a while could dampen her spirits.

Another positive effect was that since she smiled at the world, the world and the majority of its inhabitants - like the bus driver with his good-natured broad face - seemed to smile back at her. After getting off the bus Tam felt so upbeat, that she decided to rush over the street to help an elderly lady that stood looking lost on the other side, obviously waiting for a chance to cross the road.

But gratefulness was obviously not included in the deal and she only earned a deeply mistrustful look and was left watching as the granny hurried over the street, throwing mistrustful glances over her shoulder in Tamsin’s direction.

London was obviously still London. So Tamsin shrugged and rewarded her attempted good deed with an ice cream cone. Further down Islington High Street her eyes fell onto the sales promotion of her local video store and she stopped mid-lick. Reluctantly she entered the store and her heart pounded in her throat.

Vanilla ice cream slowly began to drip onto her hand when a booming voice addressed her “luv no ice cream in here...you’ll ruin our carpet” she jerked around and looked so embarrassed that the hulking figure behind the counter smiled and added in a friendlier tone “sorry, store policy, but if you want to get rid of that cone you can throw it into our bin…it’s kinda melting quickly luv!”

She took his offer up and he inquired “so what are ya lookin for?”

Her reply was given in a rather shaky voice “Ummm…I’m looking for a movie called ‘Dear Frankie’…but you probably won’t have it…”

“I’m sure I’ve seen it around here somewhere…” When he started to walk towards the shelves at the far end she followed him like a lemming and nearly ran into him when he suddenly stopped. Then she saw the cover with Gerry on it his hands, which caused her stomach to lurch as if it tried to migrate to a new place.

**

DVD in her hands she soon after sat in her living room and kept staring blankly at the black TV screen. Then Tamsin did something she had not done in a while and poured herself a glass of Sauvignon Blanc at half past three in the afternoon.

Finally she inserted the DVD and revitalised the screen with a slightly unsteady motion of her hand. If anything, the wine had gone straight to her head and she felt considerably less worried about seeing Gerry on screen now. But Gerry did not appear on screen. At first the waiting made her only more nervous but then, on a positive note the lack of his presence on screen allowed her heart to steady its rhythm and her mind to get absorbed in the touching story.

When he finally did appear on screen her heart made a great, excited leap and the moment was carved into her memory like the name of lovers is being carved into the bark of a tree.

**

Gerry in the meantime was leaning back on a chair in his parent’s kitchen groaning “Ma that was great…I can’t tell you how much I miss your cooking. But now you’ll need a crane to get me out of the kitchen:”

Margaret looked at her son with pride, a bright smile on her face, a smile that told of the happiness about having her son home for at least a little while “let’s go for a little walk then. You can surely do with some fresh highland air and a few steps with your old mother.” Gerry grinned, dragged himself onto his feet, dramatically clutching his belly, chuckled and gave his mother a kiss onto her forehead “you’re just fishing for compliments Ma...but a walk sounds like a good idea.”

Margaret patted her son’s back and watched her husband escape around the kitchen corner on his quest to skip the walk in favour for a post-lunch nap. So Gerry and she were soon strolling side by side. She let him talk for a while, asked him a few questions, but what really burnt on her tongue was the question what about the cause for the small deviance in his behaviour she had noticed with the sure-fire instincts of a mother.

Her boy was normally in a good mood, lively and chatty when he came home on a visit, but there was also a little silly grin Gerard seemed unable to suppress for sustained periods of time and a friskiness she had not seen in him to this extent for a good while.

Although the telling smile was unable to reveal the whole story to her, motherly intuition made her sense that there was more to it, but she would wait a little longer to let him tell her in his own time.

The clear, warm air and the landscape around them made Gerry’s heart swell with pride to be a Scot. He walked a few steps away from his mother and indulged in the sense of freedom he felt and that was never quite the same in any other place of the world.

“God it’s so good to be home!” he beamed into the direction of his mother who studied her son as he energetically walked back to where she waited for him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and drew her close. She laughed at her high spirited son who seemed more at ease than when she had seen him the last time.

Margaret opened her mouth, but then shut it again before the question could escape. She was dying to know what was going on, but guessed that he would tell her eventually. It was just exceedingly difficult to wait for her son to cough up the information voluntarily, especially since she had a good guess what his little secret was about.

When they arrived back in their house Margaret watched how Gerard immediately made a beeline for the porch where she knew her husband would sit in his favourite lounge-chair, snoring softly in the shade.

All three of them shared the same love for the soothing, ever changing beautiful scenery surrounding their house. Sure enough she found both men sitting quietly in their chairs when she joined them a short time later. Her husband was sleeping, his head had dropped onto his breast and her son kept staring at a point at infinity.

This point seemed to hold her son’s attention so completely that he was oblivious to anything else. Even more obvious to her was that his mind was occupied by that exact reason for the silly smile that still lingered on his features. Since he so stubbornly kept to himself, Margaret decided that the time had come to take action.

She gently put her hand onto her sons shoulder and smoothed his ruffled hair back, incapable of holding the question back any longer “so are you going to tell me why you are so happy son?”

“I should have known that the only reason you’d pet me is in order to coax an answer out of me!” he complained with a laugh “It is impossible to have any secrets around you…”

“I’m your mother Gerard”

“And I feel like I am a teenager again.”

“Don’t even try to sidetrack my attention Gerard and I’ll die an early death if you keep reminding me of the time when you were a teenager!”

At that Gerry whined in an insulted tone “I was nothing but a sweetheart and model child!” Margaret did not want to kill her son’s joy in his little game “you were easily the most mischievous lad in the neighbourhood! I don’t even want to think about the time when your prank nearly gave old Peter McAlistair a heart attack. You and your friends were up to no good” And as you got older, there was this constant stream of lassies…”

“Alright, alright…” Gerry added hastily.

“Gerard…”

“Ma…”

“The point is…”

“Yeeeeees?”

“I give up. You are a grown man and still as childish as a wee twelve year old…you should really be ashamed ...” she sat down in an empty chair next to him and he looked at her with a mischievous smirk “and you are so terribly nosy at your age…you should really be ashamed…”

Then both laughed and after a short silence Gerry finally felt pity for his mother and gave her the information she was so keen on “Ma, I think I have met a girl I like” and although this was not exactly the greatest declaration of love she had ever heard, Margaret was more than aware of the fact that she had not heard her youngest say anything like this in quite a while.

...to be continued

P.S. is anyone still reading this *g*?
I'd love to get your comments... if you want, just post them anonymously.
Let me know what you like and what you don't like about the story...that'd really help :)
Thank you all!
I have also started to edit all chapters. So far I have come as far as chapter 14. The rest will be cleaned up asap.
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On fire