Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

So Cold	By : willjames52 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Kelly Clarkson Views: 7114 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. I do not profit monetarily from this work. I don't know Kelly Clarkson or Carrie Underwood.

Chapter List
- 1-So Cold
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-Ch 6
- 7-Ch 7
- 8-Ch 8
- 9-Ch 9
- 10-Ch 10
- 11-Ch 11
- 12-Ch 12
- 13-Ch 13
- 14-Ch 14
- 15-Ch 15
- 16-Ch 16
- 17-Ch 17
- 18-Ch 18 pt 1
- 19-Ch 18 pt 2
- 20-Ch 19
- 21-Ch 19 pt 2
- 22-Ch 20
- 23-Ch 21
- 24-Ch 22
- 25-Ch 23
- 21
- 22
- 23
I had some free time this weekend since the term is winding down. Thanks for the replies. Oh and, I don't hate teachers. I like them a lot actually, otherwise I wouldn't still be in school lol. It's just Carrie's feelings at the moment.

Ch 20

Carrie ended her call to Jason and sipped the last of her coffee as she took in the quietness of the house. Kelly was still asleep, but she had woken up early for the third day in a row. There was so much they could do, and Carrie couldn’t make herself stay in bed with that on her mind. She took her cup back to the kitchen, and then she grabbed her phone and returned to Kelly’s room. Carrie kind of hoped that they could go out and see more of Texas since she rarely had time off during her concerts to explore the cities they toured.

Carrie set her phone to charge again before she went to the restroom and brushed her teeth. All she had to do really was get dressed. She had already gotten ready for the day, though she had just changed into some shorts and a tank since Kelly wasn’t awake. Carrie chuckled to herself at the difference in Kelly and Jason. She had worried that Jason wouldn’t be up, but she had been wrong. Jason had eagerly talked about the dinner they would have the next day; of course, he also planned to distract Kelly and Jeanne with a movie so that they could hang out together. Carrie rinsed and tried not to smirk because she would use the opportunity to find out about Kelly’s jerk ex.

Kelly slowly opened her eyes at the sound of running water. She had thought she had heard Carrie up earlier, but she had been too tired to roll over and check. Kelly randomly wondered how high Carrie had the water on as she sat up in bed. She could tell it wasn’t the shower from the noise, but that didn’t really help her decide what it was her girlfriend was doing so early. Kelly glanced at the clock and groaned when she saw that it was still very much before noon. “Carrie, we’re on a vacation of sorts, ya know?” Silence descended over the room again, and Kelly settled happily into the covers.

Carrie opened the door to the bathroom with a large smile on her face, although she just walked over to the bed and laid down when she realized Kelly wasn’t ready to get up yet. She wasn’t about to spend the morning by herself though either. Carrie couldn’t keep the grin off her face as she put her arm around Kelly and shifted so that she was face to face with Kelly. “We are on a vacation. There’s lots to do on vacations, Kel.” Carrie stopped for a second to stop herself from giggling when Kelly peeked at her for a moment. “I have lots of ideas, and none of them involve spending the rest of the morning in bed.”

Kelly was curious about what kind of ideas Carrie had, so she opened her eyes a little. “Like what?” She wanted to sleep. They had spent plenty of mornings lounging around in bed, and she didn’t want to do any differently unless the plans involved kissing or something fun like a game.

“I knew that’d get your attention.” Carrie kissed the tip of Kelly’s nose and then snuggled closer. “Oh no, open your eyes. I know you are awake. You can’t tell me that you want to be asleep when I’m awake and in your bed.”

Kelly pouted at the line because she knew that no matter how far Carrie had come, or how comfortable the other girl was with them, Carrie wasn’t suggesting a morning round of lovemaking. “You were doing better before.” Kelly laughed a little when Carrie kissed her nose again. “Keep going and tell me what it is that’s got you so ready to go out and leave my comfy bed.”

Carrie smiled patiently when Kelly’s eyes stayed open this time, so she gave the brunette a soft kiss on the lips in reward. “I thought we could go out, into town, or some big place or whatever. I heard that there’s a ton to do in Texas, but you’ve yet to back it up.”

The idea of riding in the car for a few hours when she could be asleep didn’t sound very appealing. Kelly looked at Carrie for a moment as she tried to decide what to do; Carrie did look extremely cute, and the blonde was being adorable with all the cuddling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve showed you all the best places in this state.”

Carrie laughed and swatted Kelly’s back for the lame joke. “You are the main attraction here for me, but that goes for any place, so that won’t work.”

Kelly bemusedly smiled for a moment before she freed her hand from the covers and lightly traced along Carrie’s jaw line. “That almost worked.” Kelly really wanted to lean in and kiss Carrie, but she knew that she wasn’t at her best, or looking it, while Carrie looked amazing. “Tell me where you want to go, and I’m going to start getting ready, okay?”

Carrie grinned at Kelly’s easy acquiescence to her desires. “Sounds good to me.” She kissed Kelly again, although she laughed when Kelly pulled away and muttered about needing a shower and to brush her teeth. Carrie didn’t say a word because there wasn’t any sense in arguing. She had tried to tell the older girl that a couple kisses before Kelly was ready for the day were fine with her, but she always got a crazy look in return for her efforts. “If I really minded I wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed, God knows I’ve woken up face to face with you plenty of mornings.”

Kelly opened the door to bathroom and playfully glared at Carrie. “I heard that!”

“Well,” Carrie really didn’t have a comeback because she had thought it was safe to make the comment, what with Kelly having already shut the door and all. “Well, remember that tomorrow morning when I want some kisses first thing!”

“All right, baby, whatever you say.” Kelly rolled her eyes and shut the door. She didn’t care if Carrie minded or not, she minded. “Easy for her to say, she’s brushing her teeth every time she drinks something. She probably pops out of bed and drinks her coffee just so she’s awake enough to floss.” Kelly turned the faucet on and fiddled with the knobs until she got the water warm enough so that she could splash her face.

Carrie quietly laughed at the sound of Kelly grumbling. She knew it was only because Kelly really didn’t like waking up; soon enough though, she knew Kelly would be happy to go do stuff outside the house. “You know we’ve been in your house for most of the stay, Kel. I’m not really sure what all we should do. Do you have any suggestions?”

Kelly grabbed a nearby towel and dried her face. “Name some things you might want to do. I don’t want to drag you somewhere you end up thinking is boring.” She walked over and opened the door so that they wouldn’t have to talk too loudly, and then she went back to the counter. “Are you thinking around town, or somewhere else?” There was a big difference in what they could do in the nearest town and the nearest city.

Carrie considered the question as she got up and started to make the bed. She didn’t care what they did really. She did want to see more of Texas, and she liked spending time at Kelly’s home. However, there was a part of her just waiting for them to fall into another serious discussion because of all the time they had spent on their own without any distractions. They had managed to avoid hurting each other’s feelings or a fight once; Carrie didn’t want to test their luck. “Whatever you think is fun.”

Kelly shook her head, though she stopped since she nearly ended up brushing the side of her face with her toothbrush. She quickly finished cleaning her teeth and rinsed, and then she walked out the bathroom door and watched Carrie. “You don’t know what you want to do. You just know you want to go do something?” Kelly tried to hide her bewilderment, but the longer she watched Carrie make the bed, the weirder it seemed to her. “You always know what you want to do.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” Carrie had already told Kelly why she wanted to go out; and since she didn’t want to get into any deep reasons, she was at a loss for words. “I’ve never had the opportunity to really explore Texas. How am I supposed to know-” Carrie stopped messing around with the sheets when her phone rang. She didn’t expect any calls, but there was always the chance that something had happened. Carrie walked over to where she had left her phone to charge, however she frowned when she saw the name on the phone’s display. “Is this you not wanting to go out because I woke you up, or do you really want to stay in?”

Kelly silently watched Carrie set the phone down during the little speech. She wondered who would call Carrie while they were away. Whoever it was apparently wasn’t important enough to answer. “I’ve literally been awake ten minutes. I don’t now what I want to do yet, other than spend the day with you anyway.”

Carrie only half heard Kelly’s reply because her mind was still on her phone. Her sister was calling. Carrie went back to the bed and began to smooth out the covers to occupy herself. She felt guilty for not taking her sister’s call, but not enough to actually pick up the phone and explain herself. Carrie didn’t notice when Kelly crossed the room, however she did become aware of her surroundings when Kelly dove onto the bed and simply stared at her.

Kelly didn’t know what to think about Carrie’s behavior. At first, she had thought Carrie was waiting to answer until the phone quit ringing, but then the silence from her girlfriend had continued. “I’m the one who is supposed to be silent, not you.” Kelly smiled and pushed herself up to her knees. “If that was an important call, you can take it, Carrie. You don’t have to ignore stuff.”

“No. I don’t have to answer it.” Carrie smiled to reassure Kelly that there wasn’t anything wrong. There wasn’t anything wrong technically; and she wasn’t about to get caught up in her head. “I knew you were just grumpy because I woke you.”

Kelly laughed and pulled on Carrie’s arm so that the younger girl would join her on the bed. “That’s because you are much too alert after you wake up.” Kelly gave Carrie a kiss once the blonde sat down next to her. Since Carrie didn’t have to take the call, she really wanted to get the plan making for the day done so that they could concentrate on themselves again. “How do you feel about museums?”

Carrie put her arms around Kelly and smirked at the obvious tease. “Oh, you did not just-” Carrie tried to maintain her smile, she really did, but when the sound of her phone ringing once again interrupted her sentence, she knew she had failed for a second.

Kelly looked over at the device and wondered if it was the same person. “Care, if that’s business, then you should really answer.” She had told Carrie about how she basically kept to herself when she was at home, but she didn’t expect Carrie to ignore phone calls. “Go on. It’s fine because I need to finish getting ready.”

Carrie did not want to answer the phone under any circumstances. She didn't have much of a choice though because Kelly lightly pushed her towards the phone. “I swear, I’m gonna call her in the middle of the night on a Wednesday.” Carrie gave Kelly a quick kiss before she got up and grabbed her phone.

Kelly laughed quietly at the remark while she climbed off the bed. “How’s that going to bother anyone?” She didn’t move toward the bathroom because she was curious about who would be upset by such a call.

“Oh, it’d piss Steph off because she has to get up early for her classes.” The words had slipped out before she could stop them, so Carrie quickly answered the phone to play off her answer as something she had planned.

“Your sister Stephanie?” Kelly stared at Carrie, who was looking at her, and waited for an explanation. She didn’t know why she thought Carrie would answer her since the other girl had already hit the talk button on the phone. She didn’t want to think about why Carrie hadn’t wanted to answer the phone before.

Carrie nodded to Kelly and greeted her sister with an annoyed hello. She already knew why her sister was calling; she just hoped that she could make a quick excuse and get off the phone. From the look on Kelly’s face, Carrie wanted to hang up and reassure Kelly that there was no dark reason that she hadn’t wanted to answer the phone. “I’m good, Steph. Hold on a second.” Carrie covered the mic of the phone and walked over to Kelly. She led Kelly over to the bed and took a seat on it as she tried to think of the right thing to say to her girlfriend. “Sit, please?”

Kelly sat down next to Carrie on the bed, although she seriously considered just leaving. She couldn’t say if it was to give Carrie privacy, or if she just wanted to get away from the blonde. “You shouldn’t leave her waiting very long. I- I have to get a shower and pick out some-”

Carrie interrupted Kelly. “It’s not what you think.” She disliked that Kelly was upset, but she knew she hadn’t handled the situation well. “I didn’t want to answer because I know she’s going to scold me for missing my mom’s party.” The fact that Kelly hadn’t let go of her hand and had taken a seat were positive signs, but Carrie knew that her actions could have upset Kelly. “Kelly, look at me.”

Kelly looked up at Carrie while she tried to sort out her feelings. Carrie was looking at her in such a concerned manner. She couldn’t make herself think that Carrie had been trying to avoid the phone call for any reason other than the one Carrie had given her. “She’s gonna scold you? She really takes the teacher thing to an extreme.”

Carrie let out a relieved chuckle and held onto the phone tighter. “I feel sorry for her students.” She squeezed Kelly’s hand briefly before she let go of it and softly kissed the brunette a few times. “I promise, I’ll keep it short. Just stay right here so that I can look at your beautiful self while she’s nagging me for skipping the party?”

Kelly didn’t want to stay and make it seem like she didn’t trust Carrie in some way, but she didn’t know how to turn down such a plea. “You don’t have to end the conversation early, and never for me.” She gave Carrie a kiss for the bright smile that crossed the younger girl’s face for her agreement, and then she laid back down on the bed. If Carrie wanted to have her around, then she was going to be comfortable. Besides, it wasn’t like she wanted Carrie to hang up the phone; she wanted Carrie to talk with family. She didn’t want Carrie to feel like the blonde had to hide.

Carrie just smiled at Kelly for a few seconds before she remembered that she had left her sister on hold. She brought the phone back up to her ear, and then listened for a few seconds to see if her sister was talking. “Hey, sorry about that. How are you doing, Steph?”

Stephanie hadn’t expected much of an explanation for Carrie telling her to hold on, but her sister hadn’t even tried. “I’m doing fine, Carrie. I had a break between classes and was catching up on the grading I put off to go back home this past weekend.” Stephanie wondered if Carrie would bother with an excuse for missing their mother’s birthday party. Her sister had become harder and harder to reach in the past month, and she worried that something was going on with Carrie.

“Yeah…” Carrie rolled her eyes at the guilt trip technique both of her sisters had perfected because of being teachers. “I had some appearances during the week. I thought I would be able to make it back, but it just didn’t work out.” Carrie sighed and reached across the bed to hold Kelly’s hand. She had missed the party, although if she had gone home she could have spent a day with her family. “I wish I could have made it, but it just wasn’t possible, Steph. I’m gonna see them soon.”

Stephanie was pleased to hear that Carrie wanted to make up for the absence. “Great. I was talking with Shanna yesterday. Our classes for the summer are ending soon and we’ll have the grades in a week after. We’re thinking of going home within the month. Do you think you can make it in two weeks?” Stephanie set her pen aside and opened her personal drawer to pull out her schedule. The last time she had talked to Carrie, her sister only had a few summer shows.

Carrie weakly chuckled at the invitation and looked at Kelly. “Things are really busy right now. I don’t know if I can get away in the next few weeks. We’re deciding on tracks for the new CD, and I’ve got some promotion for my single. I’d have to check my schedule.” Her schedule wasn’t as busy as she had made it sound, but Carrie knew that any free time she had would be spent with Kelly and on trying to figure out her questions. “I do plan on taking Mom out soon and-”

With a bit of irritation, Stephanie quit flipping to the right month on her scheduler and interrupted her sister. “Are you okay, Carrie? It’s not like you to miss something important with no notice. You know Mom doesn’t want a shopping trip as a gift. She just wanted to have all of us together. You didn’t even call us. You just left it up in the air like you’re trying to do now.”

Carrie tapped her free hand on the bed as she held in her first reaction to her sister’s lecturing. “I called her on her birthday. I told her I was sorry I couldn’t make it. You’re mad because I didn’t call you and Shanna to let you know, but I did say it was a possibility that I wouldn’t make it. You know how things are. I’m busy. I’m always going to be busy. Sometimes I’m going to miss things. Don’t try to make me feel bad, because I already feel bad enough that I wasn’t there.”

Kelly scooted closer to Carrie and put her arm around her girlfriend’s waist. She didn’t know what Stephanie had said; she just knew that whatever it was had struck a chord in Carrie and made the younger girl defensive. She didn’t want Carrie to feel guilty about being with her or for feeling unable to be around the Underwoods because of them. Kelly knew that Carrie wouldn’t have been able to go to the party, but Carrie could have spent some time with everyone if she hadn’t asked Carrie to come back home with her. She held onto Carrie tighter, even though the position was awkward. She didn’t know how to feel because Carrie had wanted to spend the time with her. She thought a part of her should feel guilty, but she didn’t because it was important that Carrie had talked to her about the things going on in Carrie’s head.

Stephanie hadn’t intended to upset Carrie, so she waited a little to remember why she had called. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, Carrie. I’m just worried about you. I haven’t really talked to you in a while.” She shut her daytimer and leaned back in her chair. She was frustrated with her sister, but not for missing time with their family. “I know you have a difficult schedule, and that this is supposed to be an easy few months for you, but you seem really busy. You need some time off. The last time we talked you didn’t have time to date. Now you don’t have time for family. What’s next? You need to take some time off.”

Carrie in no way whatsoever wanted to get into the subject of how she needed to act her age and date, so she interrupted before her sister could even get into the topic. “I’m on vacation right now. I’m not getting,” Carrie sighed because she didn’t even know what to say about her vacation. “I’m okay. I’m not scheduling too many things. There’s no need to worry. Please tell Shanna the same if you talk to her before I do.” Carrie knew it was too much to hope that Stephanie wouldn’t notice what she had said, and for that, Carrie damned her guilty conscience. It was all Stephanie’s fault for making her feel bad about her family worrying over her.

Stephanie had been ready to talk about how Carrie needed to take time for herself, but the news that Carrie was taking a vacation surprised her. “You’re on vacation? Where are you? Who did you go with?” Part of her wanted to tell Carrie that drinking with Matt at the house didn’t count as a vacation; however, she didn’t think Carrie would miss time with them for Matt. Matt had come home with Carrie several times. “Don’t tell me you met someone and you’re on vacation with him? Is that why you didn’t want to date that Sean guy? Why didn’t you tell me or Shanna?”

Carrie half wanted to slap her forehead at her sister’s glomming onto the topic of a boyfriend, the other half wanted to hang up the phone so that she didn’t have to deal with Stephanie’s craziness so early. “I don’t have a boyfriend, Steph. I’m on vacation with Kelly.” Carrie switched the phone to her other ear and moved so that she was laying on the bed with Kelly. She let go of her phone for a second and grabbed Kelly’s arm, and then she settled it around her waist. Carrie couldn’t tell her sister everything at the moment, but she wouldn’t lie.

Kelly had been surprised that Carrie had laid down, but that feeling had been quickly replaced with slight amazement when she heard Carrie say they were on vacation together. Carrie could have gotten away with anything; the other girl didn’t have to say that they were with one another. Kelly pressed a quick kiss to Carrie’s lips to show her support. It didn’t matter that Carrie hadn’t told Stephanie that they were girlfriends; she was happy that Carrie had been honest. Kelly rubbed Carrie’s back over the faint sounds of Stephanie placing her name over the phone.

Stephanie was glad that Carrie and Kelly had become better friends. During one of their last calls together, Carrie had talked about how great it was to have someone around who understood the things her little sister felt. “That’s wonderful that you two have gotten so close. I know you’re friends with Kellie and Taylor, but you don’t get to see them much.” Stephanie might have been a little ticked that Carrie had said so many nice things about Kelly, and the other girl understanding more than she or Shanna, however it didn’t matter if Kelly had gotten Carrie to take some time off.

Carrie smiled at Kelly, even though she wasn’t sure if her girlfriend had heard what Stephanie had said. “We were actually just planning what we’re gonna do today. I had to get her butt out of bed though first; she’ll sleep until two if I let her.” Carrie briefly let go of the phone to swat at Kelly’s arm for the eye roll she had received for her statement. Her smile turned into a grin when Kelly continued to rub her back, but mouthed that she was a meanie. “So do you mind if I let you go now? We really have to get a move on things if we’re going to end up driving for a while. I’ll call you Sunday when I get back home, okay?”

Stephanie didn’t get how planning a day was more fun than talking to her about their mom’s party and things Carrie had missed. “Wow, trying to get me off the phone already and you don’t even have anything planned. You guys must be somewhere exciting, or at least you better be since spending time with your new friend is cooler than talking with your sister.” Stephanie checked the clock to see how much time she had until the end of her break, and then she smiled when she saw that she could spend a few minutes teasing Carrie. “Spill it, sis. Where are the two of you that’s so much more interesting than hearing about your family?”

“We’re at Kelly’s place.” Carrie was pretty sure that Stephanie didn’t want to hear about what she had done on her vacation so far. She would bet that her sister thought that they had been out at some nice place, cruising for guys, drinking and having a good time. “It’s way out in the middle of nowhere, so we really do have to get started on where we’re going for the day. I promise we’ll catch up Sunday.” Carrie tuned out her sister as Stephanie made one last attempt to get her to stay on the phone. She just smiled at Kelly and used one hand to indicate that Stephanie was still going on talking.

Kelly had to hide her face in a pillow so that she didn’t laugh at Carrie’s antics. She only lifted her head when she heard her girlfriend promise that the sisters would plan a visit for the whole family the next time Carrie was free. She was glad that the call hadn’t upset Carrie too much since the younger girl could still make little funny remarks, but she knew Carrie hadn’t wanted to talk. Once Carrie was off the phone and had set it back on the table, Kelly put her arm around Carrie again and waited quietly for some sign of how to act.

Carrie felt that she should say something about the call with her sister; Kelly had probably overheard a good portion of the conversation. “I really did call my mom. It wasn’t like I wanted to miss the party.” Carrie snuggled up to Kelly and tried to put the phone call out of her head.

“I know.” Kelly thought that it was terribly cute that Carrie wanted to be comforted. If the call had happened a few weeks ago, she was sure Carrie would have laughed the whole thing off and not told her anything. “She missed you. She didn’t say it in the best way, but when do older siblings ever say things the right way?”

“That’s a part of it, but it’s…” Carrie sighed because the whole reason she had stopped calling her family was that she didn’t want to lie to them or worry them when she couldn’t say much. “I’ve always been able to talk with my mom. Everyday. Steph knows that, and I’m sure Mom’s mentioned something to them even though she said that it was all right that I missed the party. Steph just… she gets into things. I don’t know why she can’t just leave this alone. Using Mom as an excuse is wrong, even if she is worried. She just doesn’t know when to back off. You know what she was saying when I was trying to hang up? She kept telling me to go out with you and meet some good guys. She’s just- she’s not even thinking that something’s going on because I haven’t talked to them, but if I did she would be asking me all sorts of things. Shanna would be trying to act like the big older sister and try to mediate, but really she’d want to know about why I’m choosing to be with you.” Carrie sighed and looked at Kelly sadly. “It’s not a choice, but how do I explain that when I can’t give them answers? How can I tell them when they act like this?”

Kelly started to speak, but Carrie continued to talk, so she shut her mouth and started to run her hand through Carrie’s hair. Carrie was talking tough. It was obvious from her girlfriend’s physical actions though that Carrie needed to be comforted, which she finally got a chance to do when Carrie’s eventually ran out of words to express frustration over the situation. “They love you. I’m sure they do talk about you and worry about you.” She might have felt good before that Carrie had wanted the time with her, but now Kelly knew she would have kept the idea of them going to Texas to herself if she had known that it would interfere with Carrie’s family plans. “Maybe now isn’t a good time to tell them, but you can still talk to them about the rest of your life. It might help you actually.”

Carrie didn’t know how lying to her family, which would increase her guilty feelings, could help her. “How? I feel bad that I don’t call them, that I actively avoided answering the phone because I couldn’t listen to my sister’s guilt trip, because I knew it was coming from a place of love and not some screwed up sense of favoritism. I said some harsh things about Steph, but that’s how she is, and I know in a weird way she was being sympathetic. I’m always going to be the baby sister to them. They’ll talk with me about stuff going on with them, but when it comes to me, it’s like they don’t listen to what I’m saying cuz they know better. I can’t say something big to them without already knowing how to convince them that I’m right. If I talk to them, then I’m just going to be thinking about us when I’m on the phone; thinking about ways to tell them, or censoring myself so I don’t say something that might give them anything to go on when I do to tell.”

Kelly hadn’t realized that Carrie felt so guilty, or frustrated, but she thought she was right. “It’s hurting you not talking to them. I know you’re not as close to them as your mom, but still talking with them about your day or the CD could help. Talking to them now might help when you do tell them, because then it won’t be: oh that’s when Carrie stopped talking to us, this is so wrong, look at what it’s doing already. I’m not being mean, but you...” Kelly hesitated to continue with her advice because she didn’t know how it would go over with Carrie. She didn’t even care at this point that Carrie had said when, not if, the Underwoods would be told. She just wanted to be there for Carrie. “I’ve been around you enough to know that you miss them. That’s why you wanted to get out of the house today. You told me yourself, you or your mom call each other first thing. Not talking to them is worse than talking and not telling them everything. It may or may not help them when it comes to you telling them, but it will help you. This distance is just confusing you even more and making you sad.”

Carrie swallowed a few times because she hadn’t even given the possibility any thought. She had seriously thought that she had just wanted to avoid a fight or another deep conversation with Kelly. Now that she thought back though, she recognized that she had started to do more things in the mornings to occupy herself, and she would be lying if she tried to say that she hadn’t used her recording sessions to do the same when she had first realized she liked Kelly. “I don’t know what to say to them. I can’t lie. I can’t not talk about you. I want to talk it out with them and figure out what’s going on with me. It’s just hard though cuz I know how it’ll be, like I said before. I can be a hundred percent sure about something and they’ll still question me. But when they need someone to talk through stuff, they come to me before they’ll go to each other because I’m always, not serious, not mature, but I think things through in a way they don’t. Even though I’m the baby, I’m the one that’s always so sure about what I think, about… everything. I’m not saying Shanna and Steph always come to me for advice, but they know that I’m-”

Kelly found it extremely difficult to watch Carrie struggle for the right words to describe herself. “It’s all right. Nothing’s different, Carrie. You’re still you. You’re a smart person, independent, giving. You’re also strong. I can’t tell you how many times just seeing you and knowing that if I needed you emotionally that you would be there, comforted me. You’re like this crazy perfect girl who can have fun when she wants, or be the anchor people need.” Kelly quit stroking the blonde’s hair and hugged Carrie to her tightly. “You’re still you. Being with me doesn’t change who you are or your relationship with your family. I know it’s hard and that you want to be able to give them answers, but that doesn’t mean that you have to do it on your own. I’m your girlfriend, I can be the strong one when you need it. I’m here, and they’re here. It’s all right, I promise.”

Carrie did feel a little better as she listened to Kelly reassure her; at least she didn’t feel like crying over the situation when Kelly held her. It also helped that Kelly did have some valid points. Kelly was listening to her and trying to be the friend she needed since she didn’t have her family or friends at the moment. So, she let Kelly hold her and tell her comforting things while she tried to decide if she should tell Kelly something that she thought she should be telling one of her friends. “I can’t tell them right now, Kel. Can I tell you?” Carrie pulled back enough to see Kelly’s face. “There’s something that I’m pretty sure about, but I have no idea how it fits with us, or how I tell my family. Can I tell you?”

Kelly nodded because there had been plenty of times when she had told Carrie exactly that; that Carrie could tell her anything, or that she would help the other girl figure everything out. She didn’t feel the need to speak because the frustration and wear had drained out of Carrie’s voice in the few minutes she had reassured the younger girl, so she just went back to stroking Carrie’s hair.

“You know that I really care about you, and that this isn’t just something I’m trying. I wouldn’t do that to you because of how much you mean to me.” Carrie felt a little more sure of herself when Kelly nodded again. “I mean it, Kelly. You are very important to me. We are very important to me. I haven’t felt like this for someone in awhile.” She didn’t want to use any negative words and upset Kelly, and as a result she had gotten caught up for a moment in reassuring Kelly about her feelings. “I’ve never been attracted to other girls. I don’t think I like them, it’s just you. I don’t know what to make of that because I care for you so much, and I am- you know that I’m, that I-” Carrie didn’t want to make their physical affection sound like less than it was, or crass, but she really couldn’t think of the right word or phrase while she was trying to word things so that she didn’t unintentionally hurt Kelly’s feelings.

Kelly couldn’t watch Carrie stutter over their attraction any more than she could watch Carrie have trouble talking about herself. “I get it. You’re saying that it’s just me that you’re attracted to, not other girls.” She mirrored the small smile that came over Carrie’s face for her words, although she was kind of surprised by Carrie’s words. She would get a little scared if she thought about Carrie’s statement for too long, so she chose to focus on how it also meant that Carrie really cared about her. It made her love Carrie that much more. “I thought you were bi, but I already told you that back when I got you to go on our first date.”

Carrie had to laugh at the reminder and the silly grin on Kelly’s face. “I remember, but… it’s you. I haven’t been checking out girls really, but the things I think about other girls, even after I realized my feelings for you, haven’t changed. It’s not like how you were when you were with your last boyfriend. That’s all I know, all I’ve been able to figure out. I wish I could just tell my family and tell them how great you are. I don’t think they would get it though, not like you.” Carrie softly kissed Kelly for the understanding expression the brunette directed at her, and then she snuggled closer, her head under Kelly’s chin as she relaxed. “I’m so glad you understand.”

Kelly didn’t have it all figured out though, but if Carrie was sure, then she would support her girlfriend. “I get it, baby. You’re pretty damn special too.” She turned her head when Carrie chuckled, and then she kissed the top of the blonde’s head. “How do you feel about going to a movie? I know a place we can go. People will leave us alone. We’ll be just like everyone else.” She knew she had said the right thing when Carrie agreed and asked her what she wanted to see at the theater.
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So Cold