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Feeling that Way	By : KayleighSiobhan Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Journey Views: 5125 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not know any of the members of Journey. This story is completely a work of fiction. There is no truth to it. I make NO money from this story.

Chapter List
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Warm sunlight woke Neal in the morning. Steve was still laying against him, and he had turned on his side. This would have been pretty unremarkable except that Steve’s crotch was pushed up against Neal’s thigh. Since Neal was wearing a pair of shorts there was very little between him and Steve. Not the most comfortable way to be in light of Neal’s new found love and desire. Steve shifted his position at that moment, mummered something, then pushed his head against Neal. “ He thinks I am Greg, “ Neal thought. Neal lay quietly for a minute, just enjoying the feeling of sleeping in the bed with Steve. He reached out and played with Steve’s hair, being gentle enough that he did not wake. He couldn’t begin to figure out how to deal with this situation. “What a mess”, Neal thought. “ I am in love with my lead singer who is in love with my keyboardist who in love with him also. Plus I am straight, or at least I think I am straight. However he allowed himself a few moments to fantasize about lying in bed with Steve, holding him, kissing him, going down on him. “God” Neal thought,” I would have been disgusted by thoughts before, totally repulsed by them. But now they excite me." He felt his errection growing and sighed “Excites me in more ways then one. Great all Steve needs to do is wake up with my hard on pressed into his leg." At that moment Misty jumped up on the bed next to him. “Meoooww !”the cat almost put nose right up to Neal’s. “ Good morning Misty,", he reached out to stroke the cat. “ “Meoooww” the cat repeated. Neal know the cat wanted breakfast, but it almost seemed as if she was saying to Neal “ Get out of this bed, you are not Gregg you don’t belong here.” Not getting the response she wanted from Neal she then moved over and rubbed against Steve’s face. The action woke him and he opened his eyes. Steve seemed a bit confused to see Neal then he remembered the night before.” Thanks for staying Neal and putting up with me being nuts.” Before Neal could answer Misty smacked Steve several times with her front paw then leaned over and tried nipping at his nose. “ Steve yelped and Neal said “ Let’s feed this cat before she tries to eat us.” Then Steve said while rubbing his barely missed beak,” “This big a target she will surely come back for seconds.” Neal slid out of bed quickly “ I will feed her !” He needed to get away from Steve before he noticed the guitarist’s hard on.
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Greg jerked awake trying to remember where the hell he was. He looked over and seen the mass of long auburn hair on the pillow. He then recalled taking Adrian home. His ex was fast asleep still, pressed close against Gregg. “Oh God,” he thought," What have I done." He had betrayed Steve. Why did he do that. He loved Steve so deeply and the singer had already been through way too much. All he needed to find that Greg had sex with his old boyfriend. “ You are a fucking idiot !" Gregg said to himself. Had he just thrown away the best thing he ever had.
At that moment he heard Adrian's voice, “ Yeah, I know, not the best idea I guess." When Gregg did not answer, Adrian said “ I am not sorry, I have missed you.” Greg said “ Adrian, I have a boyfriend.” “ You mean Steve, ” At Gregg’s puzzled look Adrian continued, “you were saying his name in your sleep." Greg shook his head and said,”I got to go”. Gregg started to climb out of the bed. “ Did you hire him because you were sleeping with him, I mean he certainly is attractive.” Greg stared at the man he had just spent a passionate night with. “ Steve did not sleep his way into the band if that is what you are thinking. Anyway, I didn’t hire him, Herbie did, he just showed up with Steve one day and said he was the new singer. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, neither was Steve, well at least he wasn’t expecting to be with a male lover “ I take it the fans don’t know about any of this. Adrian reasoned. “ No” Greg said “ Just the band, Herbie, Steve’s mom and stepdad, a couple of my family. It just sort of happened, grew from being roomates, to being friends, then realizing we were in love, I was his first… or was supposed to be. “OK” Adrian said very slowly,” Supposed to be… that is why this happened with me… Steve cheated on you first. “No” Gregg said. He was quiet then continued "Steve wasn’t in the hospital because he was sick, he was raped. A guy had been stalking him for months. We were at a friend’s beach house, we let our guard down and he grabbed Steve. I can’t help him, I don’t know how to help him work past this. I want him but I am afraid to touch him. I love him but he thinks I don’t because I can’t bring myself to make love to him. Adrian smiled, “So, you slept with me because you are horny, good to know I can still relieve your lust." Greg suddenly felt he may have revealed too much." Adrian no one knows about the rape, we have a tight lid on that as well on our relationship. Adrian said,” I have no reason to share this with anyone. He leaned over and kissed Greg, then said “ I knew that this was just a one night thing, but it was fun. I hope things work out, Steve seems like a nice guy, hopefully you two will be able to get past this. He looked at the clock, then said “ I have to get ready, I have a class in an hour. Greg said “ I am sorry Adrian”. There is nothing to be sorry about, maybe we will see each other again sometime. Adrian slipped out of bed and went quickly into the bathroom. Greg heard the shower running and he knew that Adrian did not expect him to be there when he got out. He quickly got dressed, grabbed his keys and backpack. He felt bad about what had happened almost as if had used Adrian. “Christ Greg," he thought to himself, "you are batting a thousand with all your lovers.”He hesitated for a minute then scribbled his phone number and address on a piece of paper. He put it on the nightstand and left locking the front door behind him. He needed to go back to his parent’s house, shower and clear his head. Most of all he needed to call Steve just so he could hear his voice.
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From the front of an early 70’s model sedan, a middle aged man sat watching Gregg leave Adrian’s house. He took note of the time, as he had with all of Greg’s actions he had documented over the last several days. He found the job unappealing, it made him feel sleezy. But the job opportunities had been slim since he was dishonorably discharged from military service. He was getting a lot of money to watch this hippie and the men he was spending the night with. He was excited to have some new information to take back to his employer. The ex- soldier knew enough to not ask to many questions but apparently the man he was being paid to spy on had “ stolen” his “employer’s “ lover. His job was to gather information that would prove that the musician was cheating, therefore opening the door to a reconciliation. Finding out the fact that Greg had spent the night with this redhead would probably earn him quite a bonus.
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Just before noon, Steve and Neal were in the living room going over some song lyrics. The phone rang and Neal answered it. He found himself disappointed to hear Greg’s voice then immediately felt guilty. He handed the phone to Steve who eagerly grabbed it. Neal could hear the longing in the singer’s voice when he spoke to Greg. He heard him ask a few questions about his trip. Neal then seen the light gradually fade out of Steve’s eyes. He finished his conversation and slowly put the phone back in the receiver. “What is wrong ? “ he asked. “ “I don’t know” Steve said, “ Greg sounds distant. Like there was something he didn’t want to talk about. I told him how much I missed and ask him when he would be home. He said he didn’t know. Steve sighed “ When he left it he said it would only be a few days. Steve swallowed hard and said ” I think I would like to be alone for a bit Neal. Neal started to protest but the pain in Steve’s eyes stopped him. “I promise I won’t try and hurt myself. I just need to think”, he told Neal.” Neal was quiet a minute then said “ Do you really want to be alone ?” Neal reached out to him and after a brief hesitation Steve went to him, and let Neal snuggle him close.
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At the beachhouse the phone was also ringing.It shook Aaron's out of the intense concentration on the book he was reading. He picked up the phone and said " Hello" A gruff voice on the other end asked for Mark. Aaron didn't recognize the voice but when he asked who was on the phone, the caller told him he was a medical matter. Aaron sighed, his partner had promised him he would not be on call during their vacation. "Mark," he called."It is a medical call." Mark practically snatched the phone out of Aarons hand. He said " This is someone's health information, it's private." Aaron didn't answer he didn't feel like arguing. His lover was growing more and more distant and there didn't seem to be an explanation why. God knows Aaron had searched for them. Affairs, money problems, drugs, he had looked into them all. There just was not a an answer. He left the room, but he watched through the door. Mark was rapidly writing down information. Aaron looked at his book, he had suddenly lost interest in the story. He decided to take a walk along the beach -- alone.
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Steve sat quietly just enjoying being held. It felt so good, Neal was just gently stroking his hair a bit. Then suddenly Steve said” Come with me,” He lead Neal back into the bedroom and pulled him down on the bed with him. Neal said “Steve.. I don’t know about this…” Steve whispered to him" I don’t want to be alone Neal, if Gregg leaves what is going to happen. I should have never returned that call from Herbie. “No Steve , then I would have never met you," Neal leaned over and kissed Steve gently on the mouth. Steve’s lips were warm and soft.When the singer responded to the kiss Neal instantly felt his errection growing. He had never kissed a man, never even entertained the thought of it. But with Steve it felt natural. He started to to unbutton Steve’s shirt and encouraged by his lack of protest, he bent down and kissed him on the throat, feeling the vibration when Steve moaned. Neal’s touch was tentative as he ran his hand down Steve’s body to the top button of his tight jeans. He unsnapped them and pulled the zipper down. When he hestitated Steve pushed them slowly down. “Help me ! Neal removed them and Steve was completely naked from the waist down. It wasn’t like he had never seen Steve undressed before, sharing a tour bus, dressing rooms, and sometimes hotel rooms did not leave a lot of room for modesty. This was different though. Neal took a deep breath then said “Steve I don’t know what I am doing, I have never touched a man like this. “Just show me you love me," Steve almost seemed to be begging. When Neal didn’t respond Steve took his hand and moved it till it was at his groin. Neal stroked the soft hair then moved downward. When his fingers contact Steve’s dick, the tiny brunette gasped. Neal stroked him for a minute then he brought his head down till it was between Steve's legs. He was about to kiss him in the way he had been dreaming about. Suddenly he stopped. “Steve I can’t do this” At Steve’s puzzled expression Neal said “ I love you. And Greg has been my friend for years. And I know you love Greg, you are just hurt and mixed up right now. “ He slipped off the bed and Steve felt tears of humiliation pricking at his eyes. Vallory, the rapist, they were both right,he was trash. He loved Gregg but here he was throwing himself at his guitarist. And Neal didn’t want him either. He wasn’t good enough for Neal or Gregg. Suddenly he had a pounding headache. He barely heard Neal going into the bathroom and turning on the shower. After a half an hour, Neal came back into the bedroom. Steve had gotten dressed. Neal said “ I am sorry Steve, it was wrong to do this. I need to figure out how to deal with my feelings. I want you to call your Mom, I am going to take you to stay with them. Right now I can’t be alone with you, this close. And I can’t leave you here." Steve looked at him “ This is my home, Neal I don’t want to leave. If you don’t want to be here, I will stay here alone." “ I can’t have you here alone, Greg trusted me to watch over you.” “Trusted me,” Neal thought to himself, “what a way to honor that trust” Steve said “ I am not going to my mother’s house. She will ask a pile of questions I don’t want to answer. “ Neal had never seen Steve be stubborn about anything. “Steve, I can’t hold you, or comfort you. I can’t handle that. I don’t trust myself.” Steve said “Then don’t, but I am not leaving here. Greg will be home in few days. I will just have Herbie hire another guard.””Oh yeah, Greg will be thrilled at that idea. Neal said “I will stay. Just please Steve keep your clothes on and I am going to stay out of this bedroom. Now I am going to go fix lunch. He left the bedroom closing the door behind him. Steve sat staring at the closed door for a long time.
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Feeling that Way