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Coming Home	By : SujiChan Category: Dir en grey > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1406 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I do not know Dir en grey. This is just a work of fiction to entertain. I make no money off of it.

Chapter List
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Note: Wanted to apologize for the late update. We had a death in the family, and sickness, and more sickness, and I'm moving, and... life is a bitch. lol Enjoy. There should be more soon.

Toshiya, freshly showered and in denims only, came out of the bathroom. His damp hair was unruly, and an occasional drop of water rolled down his neck and chest. With one hand he reached up to push his long hair from his face. Feeling rather cheerful he began to whistle a tune, heading for his room so he could find a clean shirt.

“Totchi.” Kyo motioned for the other male to enter the room. When Toshiya did he shut the door. “You do realize if Die finds out that you and Suji-chan are an item he’ll lose it?”

One dark brow arched sardonically. “I’m not stupid.”

“So you know that looking too happy when you’re supposed to be depressed that you have to stay away from her is kind of going to make him suspicious?” the blonde continued.

Toshiya inhaled sharply. “Point. Okay, so when is a good time for him to learn the truth? I mean, hiding it from him for weeks or months will not make things better either.”

“We know that. But you’re forgetting that she might remember everything at any time. And once she does who knows what she’ll do or decide.”

That made the taller, darker haired man scowl. “You telling me to enjoy the time I do have with her while she doesn’t know that my brother exists?”

Kyo didn’t say anything at first, but after a moment he sighed. “She hesitated. When you confessed, she actually hesitated about choosing you.”

“She also confessed to me the day I picked her up to bring her back that it scares her what Die touching and kissing her makes her feel.” Kaoru had been lying quietly on his bunk, one arm flung over his eyes. “She let him catch her and kiss her that day years ago. It could just be lust, but it could be more.”

Jaw working in irritation, Toshiya glared at them both. “That was before she knew I felt something for her. Now? Now I have the chance to make her forget all about Die… forever.” He tore open the door, and marched out, slamming it shut behind him to show his displeasure at his older brothers.

“Told you to still keep the fuck away from her?” Die was leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom. “Well, if I can’t see her then you can’t either. So we’re even.”

For a wild moment he almost retorted that not only had he seen her, but he’d touched and kissed her breasts, and she had told him she loved him so to screw right off, but he bit his tongue and kept silent. Pushing past Die, he went to his dresser and chose a plain black tee-shirt. “We’ll never be even. Your fucking temper and jealousy is what did this to her.” Turning he drew his tee on, and then glared at Die. “You were an idiot to attack when she was right there. How do you think she’ll feel when she remembers, Die? How do you think she’ll feel about you when she remembers that you hurt her and took her memories away?”

“Fuck off!” The redhead’s fist shot out. “If you’d have just continued to stay away everything would be fine! Do you really love her, Totchi, or is this just some asinine way of getting even because you think I stole some girl years ago?”

Toshiya easily dodged the fist, and got an uppercut in to knock his brother out of the doorway and against the door to the elder brothers’ room. He didn’t say anything else as he headed down the hallway towards the front door.

“Toshiya, dinner’s almost ready.”

He slid his slippers off, and was putting his leather boots on. “Thanks, Mama, but I think I’ll eat out tonight.” Toshiya headed outside, and once out on the sidewalk he pulled his cell out, auto-dialing. “Hey,” he said after a moment. “How ‘bout I get some dinner and bring it over? Takara’s special sound good? Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

……………

The evening air was warm, but a small breeze blew with a slight chill. Toshiya and I sat in the back gardens, on a stone bench, and shared the dinner he’d brought over. A part of me realized that there was still so much I didn’t remember, but the majority of me simply basked in the fact that Toshiya loved me and was here with me. I was so happy that I hadn’t even picked up the diary again to finish reading it. I just wanted things to stay as they were at this moment. I couldn’t remember most of my life, but I knew how good I felt inside with his love and being here in Japan so it could stay this way forever and I wouldn’t be upset.

“What are you thinking?” he asked, one dark brow rising. “You’ve been smiling non-stop for a while now. Should I be worried?” he teased.

I flushed, and shook my head. “I was thinking that it doesn’t matter if I never remember because right now, here with you, I’m happy.” Now that I’d said it out loud I blushed madly. God, could I have sounded any cornier or more stupid? I hurried to start cleaning up, unable to look at him to see the ‘ugh’ look on his face I knew he had to have right now.

Toshiya caught my hands to stop me, and then tugged gently, pulling me onto his lap. I flamed, feeling like a child about to be reprimanded. A gentle hand touched my chin, lifting my face up, and I was caught by the dark seductiveness of his eyes which intensely stared into mine. “I was a baka,” his voice was lower than usual, thicker, and it made me shiver in a good way. “I never should have tried to deny how I felt for you.”

“Why did you?” I asked, blushing to hear how breathless and low my own voice sounded. Being held like this by him, and the way he looked and sounded so seductive, had me turned on quite badly. I could feel my nipples tightening and pushing against my bra as if they were begging for his mouth’s attention again.

Toshiya shook his head. “It’s in the past and unimportant now. I’ll make it up to you, I swear. You’ll never have any reason to regret being with me.” His hand shifted, and the pad of his thumb touched my bottom lip, his gaze falling to watch as my lips parted slightly.

“In my diary I had written that you were a womanizer,” I admitted. I wanted his mouth to touch my lips and not just his thumb. I craved his kiss like I would crave chocolate or ice cream.

“I was,” he nodded.

“Will you use your womanizing ways with me?” I tried teasing him to lighten the mood because it was getting more and more difficult to breathe normally or to think straight. I swear there was a low hum coming from my body, and it was intensifying with every second he stared at my lips and talked with that damn sexy low voice.

“Only the good ways of it,” he grinned with sexual confidence. “I would never want to use the bad ways of it on you because you’re too special to me.”

“And your brothers would kill you,” I added. That hum was much louder now.

“That too,” he chuckled. “You’re family to them.”

“I’m not family to you?” I asked, one brow rising.

“I can’t make love to family so you definitely are not family.” His thumb brushed over the edge of my bottom teeth, and it was automatic for my tongue to reach out and lightly touch it. He hissed in a breath, his eyes darkening and his lashes lowering slightly over them. “I have every intention of making love to you.”

His declaration made my heart pound, and I started to trembled, but whether from fear or excitement I wasn’t certain yet. “Right now?”

A low ~~ and rather sexy ~~ chuckle rumbled from his chest. “Only if you want to right now.” Leaning forward he nuzzled that sensitive spot just below my ear, sending shivers racing from my spine to every inch of my body. “Do you want to make love right now?” he hotly whispered against my earlobe.

I was absolutely panting now, that hum so loud I could hear nothing of the outside world. Only Toshiya existed. The low rough velvet of his voice, the scents of shampoo and clean male emanating from his hair and neck, and the heat of his body all enveloped me and shut the rest of the planet out. Even the evening sounds of insects faded away. I couldn’t stop myself from nuzzling the line of his jaw or reaching up to burrow my fingers into his soft black hair. I couldn’t answer him. No words would come out. I didn’t know if I wanted to make love or not. I’d never made love before. I was a little afraid because it was such an unknown entity to me the whole sex thing. But this was Toshiya. I’d always loved him. Would it not be okay to have sex with the one you love? You’d think it would be easy to simply say yes to the man you love, but I couldn’t quite do it. If I opened my mouth to reply I didn’t know what would come out. That uncertainty, that fear of the unknown, instead made me press my lips to his neck and taste his skin.

Toshiya made some small growling noise, and put his lips to my ear. “I want to touch you a little,” he confessed, his hand sliding from my face, down my throat, and to one breast. “Let me touch you a little bit.”

I remembered the feel of his hands and mouth on my breasts. I shivered, anticipating those delicious sensations again. It didn’t matter that we were in my backyard, that it wasn’t quite dark yet, and that anyone could walk through the gate or come out through the house. There was a privacy fence made of wood that even now I had to jump to look over. Then again, I wasn’t exactly tall at five feet three inches. With a trembling hand I found the buttons on little summery blouse I’d worn over a tank, and started to undo them.

Toshiya chuckled low and deep, shifting so he could watch me open my blouse. Once I was done his hand parted the material and pulled the hem of my tank slowly upwards, his palm gliding hotly over my skin, making it shiver and ripple at his touch. The sun hung low on the horizon, clinging with desperation at land as if afraid to sink below it, setting the sky ablaze and casting long shadows in the garden. The lack of full light made the evening air cooler so it made my nipple pucker when it was bared. “You have beautiful breasts,” he said as he palmed one and started to stroke it. “More beautiful than they ever were in my dreams.”

I couldn’t talk. How could I with that burning look in his eyes and his hand on my bare breast? All I could do was breathe hard and cling to him. I wanted more, though. I wanted him to lay me down like he had before, and take my nipple into his mouth again, but didn’t know how to voice my wants. His fingers lightly pinched the nipple, and I squirmed, gasping as pleasure ricocheted throughout my body. His hands were callused from hard work, the rougher skin adding to the delicious sensations from his touch. I was tugging at his hair, wanting his lips on mine, but I also wanted them on my breasts like before.

Toshiya lifted his head at my insistent tugging, leaning forward and kissing me deeply, his tongue sweeping inside my mouth and taking total control. The whole while his hand continued to play with my breasts, teasing the nipples to hard nubs and making them so sensitive that I whimpered and shifted with restless energy on his lap. His mouth distracted me completely so when I felt his hand burrow under the waist of my denims I tensed up.

“Shhh,” he breathed at my lips. “I won’t hurt you. I just want to touch you a little bit.” He pressed smaller kisses over my face, ending with my lips and again kissing me deeply. When I started to relax his hand slid in deeper. I tensed up again, startled. “Shhh,” he soothed, one fingertip pushing deeper and teasing my clitoris. “Just a little bit…”

I was clutching onto his shoulders, panting at his lips as much out of fear and worry as excitement. It was as if electrical currents shot upwards from between my legs to energize every nerve-ending in my body. My thighs trembled, and eased open a little more. That gave him more access, and he slithered a second finger deeper in to stroke with the first. No one had ever touched me like this before.

“That’s my girl,” he whispered in a low, soothing voice. “Just relax. See? It doesn’t hurt, does it? Just enjoy it.”

A low moan escaped me, and I could feel myself relaxing more and more. “Toshiya…”

He pushed those fingers a little deeper, and one tip parted my inner lips, sliding in partway, and releasing my juices. He groaned, kissing me deeply. “Baby, you’re so wet!” He slid both fingers in deep, pumping them slowly for a few minutes, and then going back to teasing my clitoris. “You like this,” he whispered, nibbling on my bottom lip.

“H-how can y-you tell?” I was panting at his lips.

“You’re so hot and wet, and you’re starting to move with my fingers,” he admitted. “That tells me you like it.” His fingers slid inside again, pumping a little faster now. “Let your body take control,” he whispered, interspersing his words with quick hard kisses. “Let me make you come.”

My fingers kneaded and pulled at his shoulders and the nape of his neck. I wanted… but what exactly I wanted I still was unclear on. It did feel good. I did like it. I now noticed that my hips were swaying to meet the inward slide of his fingers. The friction of those digits was amazing. Arching my back I moaned, and then gasped when he bent and his teeth caught at one nipple, tugging gently at it, and worrying it. The combination of both sensations made my body explode. I arched higher, crying out his name, and felt the hard pulsing between my legs.

When I was limp and relaxed in his arms, Toshiya removed his hand from inside my denims, and held me securely, fixing my top to cover my breasts. His lips pressed to my forehead, and his hand now stroked my hair. “You’re beautiful when you come.”

“Am I?” I couldn’t think straight. I was still humming from every limb. Forcing my eyes open I looked into his dark ones. They were still nearly black, and he still looked flushed. In wonder I touched his cheek, and leaned up to kiss him softly. “That was amazing.”

“No one’s ever touched you like that, have they?” A soft smile curled his lips. “That’s only the beginning. It gets better.”

His cell rang. With a sigh I moved off him so he could reach it. I began to clean up our meal remains. “Yeah?” he said into his cell. A frown made his brows lower. “Right now? Fine, fine! Gimme a sec.” Hanging up he stood. “I’ll be back. Kyo just called, said he needed to see me now.”

“Oh.”

He smiled, leaned down, and kissed me softly. “I’ll be back. I could… spend the night,” he enticed.

I knew what he was saying. He could share my bed. He could do that to me again. I blushed, and felt heat and the zing of excitement crackle throughout my body. Did I want him to stay? Did I want him to do that to me again? Or more? Chances are, it would lead to full sex. Was I ready for that? I could almost feel the delicious sensations of his hand between my legs and his mouth on my breast, or the consuming explosion that had ripped through me.

“Better go before he comes and drags you away,” I smiled. “Call me when you’re done? It might take longer than you think.” One last kiss, and then he left through the gate. I sighed, feeling suddenly alone, and finished cleaning up.
………………………………

Toshiya exited through the gate, and was right away grabbed by Kaoru and Kyo, each taking one of his arms and leading him further down the street. Had it been anyone else he would have struggled and beaten the shit out of them, but the two of them taught him how to fight, and he knew if he tried to fight them when he woke up again he’d be in the hospital so better to let them have their way. Besides, he’d suffered a damn good shit-kicking not long ago and didn’t want another so soon. He wanted to hold Suji tonight, touch her some more, make love to her…

“We were going to bring some supper to Suji-chan’s,” began Kaoru. “Mama worries about her eating right and staying healthy after what happened.”

“Imagine our surprise when we hear her calling out your name in what distinctly sounds like a great orgasm!” Kyo continued.

“You didn’t fuck her right there in the garden where anyone could see, did you, Toshiya?” Kaoru ended. “Not good little Suji-chan, right?”

Toshiya finally pulled free, and turned to glare at them. “First off, what I do with my girlfriend is none of your…” A fist in the nose ended his retort. He felt the warm spurt of blood, and he cursed. “Goddammit!”
This time a fist hit him in the mouth. He backed up, snarling at them.

“First off, what you do with a girlfriend who is family to us is our concern,” Kyo told him. “She’s a good girl, and deserves to be treated right. Not taken like some whore outside in a garden.”

“Secondly, never take kami-sama’s name in vain,” Kaoru glared at him. “That’s the one thing Mama drilled into us.”

“Apparently not into him,” the blond brother added with a sigh.

“That’s because before Shinya came alone Totchi was the ‘sensitive’ one,” Kaoru reminded.

“Fuck you!” the one in question found his handkerchief and stemmed the flow of blood from his nose and mouth. He was lucky, and he knew it. They could have easily broken his nose and knocked his teeth down his throat. “Look, I didn’t do her in the garden. We were making out, and…” he backed up another few steps, “groped a little. Okay? She’s never been touched before so a little petting…”

“Well, she does love him, and she did choose him. If she lets his dirty hands on her we can’t say much. We could try to talk sense into her, but she’s adamant she likes this guy.” Kaoru sighed heavily. “Nothing we can do really.”

“We can do to her what we’ve done to Saika,” Kyo hopefully offered.

“Hmmm… but he’s been trained by the best… me, and he knows how to avoid all that and get to her,” Kaoru reminded.

One dark-blond brow rose, and Kyo snorted. “You? Please, who says you’re the best?”

“All the women do,” Kaoru smirked.

“Not Suji-chan. She said you were lacking.”

Kaoru’s smirk turned to a scowl. “She’s not in her right mind because of the accident. And if you don’t get amnesia about that yourself I’m going to do a lobotomy on your ass with wooden chopsticks.”

Toshiya sighed, rolling his eyes. “Doesn’t matter what you plan or think because she’s mine.”

Kyo eyed the younger though taller brother quizzically. “Do you remember when I asked you what you planned for her future? Die wants to marry her. Have you decided? Or are you just thinking with your cock?”

“I can’t marry her yet,” the youngest argued. “Not until she gets her memories back. Only then, when she says she’s still mine, can I consider our future together.” He didn’t want to admit that Kyo’s words to him earlier today haunted him still. What if she remembered everything, and hated him for taking advantage of her condition right now by binding them forever because in reality she loved Die? That still burned a hole through is gut. He’d fucked up all these years. Despite everything he should have confessed years ago, even if she was moving away and his brother loved her. But this memory loss could be his only way to make her see how things could be between them, and he wasn’t going to pass it up.

“Okay, maybe he does have some brains,” Kyo amended.

“So long as he keeps his dick inside his pants,” Kaoru warned.
……………………

“You going to sleep with him?”

I jumped about five feet, squeaking in the process because when you get scared you don’t always scream. Sometimes no sound will actually come out. Well, suddenly hearing Saika’s voice while I was carrying in the food and garbage from outside, had startled me badly enough that I gave a squeak only. “Sheesh, wear a cowbell or something!”

One finely shaped dark brow rose. “Huh?”

“It’s an American thing meaning if you’d wear a cowbell people would hear you coming and you wouldn’t scare them.” I put everything on the counter, and started to separate garbage from leftovers.

She laughed softly, and then neared to help. “I saw,” she admitted. “I didn’t mean to. I came over cuz this is where I’ve been staying to help you out, and was going to ask you if you wanted tea when I saw you and my brother… Umm, it was more than I wanted to see. I think it burned my eyes out.” She then grabbed my arm and pulled me closer so she could whisper conspiratorially. “I’m thinking of doing that with Toru. Well, more than just that, but… Was it nice?”

All without taking a breath. I blinked, startled, and then sorted through it all. I could feel the blush heating my face, and I hurriedly turned back to the leftovers. “Did you?” So she’d seen what Toshiya and I had been doing? That was embarrassing. That was way embarrassing. “You saw all of it, or…”

“I’m eternally glad you guys weren’t naked and… going at it,” she flamed.

“It’s the first time anyone’s ever touched me like that,” I whispered, feeling shivers skitter across my nerve-endings. They made my limbs tingle and feel weak. Just remembering the way it had felt to have Toshiya’s fingers doing that to me made me tremble and I had to stop myself from gasping out loud. “It’s not that it wasn’t nice, but it was more… consuming. I was really afraid so maybe I didn’t enjoy it as much as I could have?”

Saika’s head was thoughtfully tilted to the side, her lips pursed in a little moue. Finally she smiled. “I’m sure that was it. I mean, I’ve kissed with Toru, and he’s touched my breasts, and it was so nice when he kissed them!” She sighed dreamily. “You know, I’ve been kind of ready for more with him for a while now, but he’s the one who’s been holding back. I even touched him once, and he stopped kissing me and said he needed to go to the store. I think he was afraid.”

My eyes widened. “You touched him?”

She nodded. “He was all bulgy and hard, and I thought if I touched him he’d want to go all the way. I reached down and pressed my hand on him. He told me later that he wanted things to be perfect, and that wasn’t the time.” She sighed. “I think I have more of my brothers’ blood in me than I thought. I want to have sex with Toru so bad!” She finished cleaning up. “Are you going to have sex with Toshiya?”

Well, that threw me for a loop after her big declaration. I’d never touched a guy before. I wonder if I could just reach down and touch Toshiya? “I…”

“Don’t think that’s any of your business, little sister.” Toshiya entered, and neared.

Because of Saika’s declaration, and what happened earlier, I couldn’t help glancing down at his crotch area. The man fit a pair of denims really nicely. Could I do it? Could I reach down and press my hand against him? I doubted he’d suddenly want to go to the store. Feeling very warm and flushed, I turned partially away so no one else would notice how the appearance of him affected me.

“It is my business because she’s my best friend, and I don’t want her hurt in any way.”

“Have some fucking faith in me, Saika. Not like I’m going to tie her up and…”

“You don’t need to, you have years and years of practice at seduction, and she’s no match for that.”

‘I think you want me to kiss you.’

‘No!’

“Then why else did you follow me here?’

‘Untie me!’

‘I will… after you agree to kiss me.’

The too brief flash of memory, the second time I’d had it, created a sharp stabbing pain in my head, and I gasped, stumbling a step.

“Whoa! Suji!” Toshiya caught me as I stumbled, lifting me into his arms. “Make some tea and get a cool cloth. I’ll bring her up to her bed.”

Eyes shut tight against the pain; I clung weakly at him as he hurried up the stairs. “Why?” I croaked.

“What?”

“Why does that memory always do this?” I whispered as the pain started to ebb.

“Don’t force it…”

“Something about being tied up,” I continued, the pain returning with one sharp stab.

“Suji, listen to me,” he set me on the bed, and soothingly ran a hand over my hair, his voice low and tinged briefly with anxiety. “If it brings you pain let it go. Someday you’ll remember, but if you force it you chance hurting yourself bad. I don’t want that. Okay?”

His hand felt unyielding even as he tried to soothe me. This was bothering him. A lot. I nodded, and grabbed his hand, kissing the palm and nuzzling it. “Lie down with me, Toshiya? Hold me?”

He moved around, climbing over me to get to the other side, and stretched out, pulling me close and gently stroking my hair and back. The rhythmic motion made me relax with a contented little sigh. I fell asleep.
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