Embryo | By : kawaiikyo Category: > Die/Kyo Views: 2492 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know Dir en grey, and I do not profit from these writings. |
Over the course of a week, a lot had changed. Kyo had been stuck in the hospital, being monitored to make certain that he wouldn’t go into labor spontaneously. The second night that the boy had been there, Die discovered that Kyo’s father had died. While he suspected that the news might have actually given the other peace, the redhead had hesitated to reveal it; for fear that the information might trigger labor.
Finally, Die had to tell Kyo, who simply reacted with a huge level of relief. The man’s funeral came and went without Kyo’s attendance. It was sad that a parent could make their child hate them so much; it made Die eager to prove that he would be the best father possible for his and Kyo’s daughter.
Kyo was getting ready to leave the hospital when his mother came into the room with a light knock on the door. He looked up at her with an emotionless look on his face. The boy didn’t want to waste his time with his parents anymore. Pulling his shirt over his head once the nurse took his IV out, he looked back to his mother, waiting for her to say whatever it was she wanted to say.
From his seat next to Kyo’s hospital bed, Die stared at Kyo’s mother. Her face was pale and she seemed hollow. On some level, he did feel badly for her loss. She must have loved that man to have married him; cherished him a great deal to stand by, knowing what he was doing to her only child. Some of his sympathy faded as that thought came to him.
“I have one thing to say to you and then I will leave you be, Tooru,” she spoke, clasping her hands together in front of her. “You can do as you wish, be with whoever you want. You won’t hear from me again.” Her entire body seemed to wilt slightly.
“Thank you, mama…” Kyo didn’t give her a second look as he looked over to Die and held his hand as he waited for the nurse to come with the wheelchair to take him to the front of the hospital. Gathering his things up, he sat them in his lap and looked out the window, the sky was a bright blue as the sun shined, making Kyo smile. It seemed as if the earth had no remorse for his father either.
When they left, they passed the woman by, leaving her standing in the hospital room alone. Die pushed away the last of his sympathetic feelings as they left her behind. From there on out, nobody was going to interfere in his life with Kyo; that was a promise.
It felt good to be home again with Die and not have a care in the world. When Kyo sat down onto the couch, Mayu and all of her kittens gathered around him and meowed loudly, rubbing up against him and sniffing him, looking for attention. He laughed and started petting them until they were content and lay down next to him. Taiki was perched on his stomach contently until a kick from the baby startled him and made him jump slightly. Sniffing Kyo’s stomach, he pawed at it before jumping down. Kyo laughed at this and ruffled the top of Taiki’s head.
Die smiled as he watched Kyo interacting with the kittens. The boy seemed more relaxed than the taller redhead could ever recall him being. Die knew that the recent abuse and stress Kyo had gone through must have still been with him very strongly, but he was doing a good job of either hiding it or moving past it. On impulse, he reached out and held Kyo’s hand, fitting his fingers between the boy’s.
Kyo smiled and rested Die’s hand on his stomach, feeling the baby kick once more. He smiled more, moving to lift up his shirt and let Die’s hand touch his bare flesh. The boy’s smile faded slightly as he looked at the stretched skin. “I look hideous…” He said softly, letting Die’s hand do as it pleased on his stomach to feel the movements of their baby.
The comment took Die a little off guard and made his fingers still upon the other’s stomach. True, there were faintly purpled marks forming on the boy’s sides, where his skin had to stretch to accommodate as the baby grew larger, but Die didn’t find them repellent. “No, you don’t,” the taller male reassured, rubbing the other’s stomach once again. Bending slightly, he pressed his lips to Kyo’s belly, disagreeing with the boy’s perception of himself.
“I’m starting to get those ugly stretch marks. There’s no way I can go to work and be onstage with these things.” He pouted and reached down to pat Die’s head lightly. The boy hated the way his stomach was looking as the skin started stretching to accommodate the baby. Sure, it was for the baby, but he didn’t like the marks she left.
“We can get some lotion or something to help with them, then,” Die said, sitting up. He rubbed his hand along the underside of Kyo’s stomach and back up to the top. The swell was starting to get firm from the muscles being stretched to help make room for the baby. Kyo was pretty small to start with and the taller male was getting more and more concerned about how well the boy would be able to handle their daughter as she really started putting on weight.
There was a good idea that Kyo didn’t mind. “That sounds like a good idea. I hear cocoa butter works wonders.” The boy had been reading up about how the stomach expands for the baby and how to prevent stretch marks when they first start to show. That and Die’s mother had told him before as well.
“I’ll buy you some the next time I go out to get groceries or something.” Die pulled his hand back and reached over on his other side to pet Mayu, who had hopped over to rest. She pushed her furry head into the touch and purred, seeming content. She had given birth so easily; hopefully, it would be the same for Kyo to do. Die knew there would be a little more risk, but he hoped that, in theory, it would work out with about the same level of ease.
“I think she wants fed.” Kyo said as he reached over to scratch her stomach slightly as she moved to cuddle up to Die, her main giver of food. Kyo gave a soft chuckle and pushed down his shirt. He didn’t want to look at himself right now, he felt ugly and he just knew if he looked into a mirror, he’d break it in rage or upset.
Die nodding, knowing this was probably true. “I’ll just go ahead and go to the store and buy our groceries and everything else.” The taller male stood from the couch and popped his back slightly in the process. “Would you like to come?” Die offered, not wanting the boy to feel excluded.
“No, I’ll stay here. I think I’ll take a nap.” Kyo said before rising from the couch himself. He released the other’s hand and let Mayu jump off of the couch to roam around with her playful kittens. The boy went to the bedroom and closed the door, changing into some pajamas, keeping on his panties.
He was still very conscious about himself, keeping his legs covered by pajama pants and an oversized shirt over his torso. Taking an extra blanket, he draped it over the mirror in the room before moving to the bed and climbed in, curling up under the covers and sighing, hoping for some kind of sleep to find him.
Die grabbed his wallet and keys and made his way out to the car, settling in to leave. Ever since Kyo had been assaulted, it had done terrible things to his self-confidence. He behaved in a very guarded fashion, keeping his body covered and to himself. In fact, Die was sure that the only time he would see Kyo’s body in a state of undress would be if it involved the baby.
Before the rape, Kyo had a fairly nice attitude about his increasing weight and the changes in his body. Now, he was so self-berating, always putting himself down, and made Die feel guilty. In all honesty, the redhead wished that he had just killed Kyo’s father during the first fight they had.
Kyo finally managed to find sleep, though not as peaceful as he had hoped, but it was sleep none the less, and he needed all he could get with his insomnia acting up. His appetite was starting to decrease as well, leaving most of his meals half eaten if they were touched at all. The boy at least made an attempt to eat so the baby had nutrition and he always managed to drink milk and juice.
When Die reached the store, he didn’t waste time in finding the items they needed. He found the boy’s bread and items that were safe for him to eat on sandwiches, which were proving to be one of the few things Kyo would usually eat completely lately; he also chose some reduced-sodium soups in hopes that the other would maybe be more eager to ingest nourishment via liquids.
After a little longer, Die had enough to replenish the stock of Kyo’s food. He went off and grabbed some food for Mayu and her kittens, placing it in the basket alongside the other purchases. Scanning the aisles, Die located the aisle that housed the lotions and other toiletries and perused the shelves for the cocoa butter that Kyo wanted. Upon finding some in stock, Die placed it in his basket and checked out.
Waking from his brief nap, the boy looked to the wall across the room and sighed. It seemed like he wouldn’t be able to sleep right for a while. He felt a sharp pain shoot through his stomach, groaning softly. It wasn’t like the pain he was feeling when he went into labor, but it still hurt. Most likely from stress, Kyo was sure on that. The small redhead had a lot on his plate, home schooling and working at a club, recovering from the abuse he endured a few days prior, his gestational diabetes, and taking care of the baby. He needed to find a way to relax, but he wasn’t sure that he could.
Die hurried home, taking care to unload the bags in the kitchen with little noise. If Kyo had managed to slip off into a decent sleep, the last thing he wanted to do was disturb the boy. Mayu and her kittens rubbed up against the tall male’s ankles, mewing insistently as he attempted to feed them. At the rate they were going, though, they would get the messy food on their heads from their enthusiasm.
During the time Die had been putting away the groceries, Kyo quietly slipped out of the bedroom and made his way to the kitchen and stood in the door way. He gave a small chuckle at the feeding attempt of Mayu and her kittens. The boy moved to sit down at the kitchen table and watched as they at ravenously while Die got rid of the cat food container.
“I got your butter,” Die said, picking up the container and showing it to the boy. He figured that later, Kyo could take it and rub it into his skin. “Here, you should probably wait until you’ve bathed and you’re heading for bed to put that on,” the taller male said, placing it in front of Kyo on the table.
“Thanks.” Kyo smiled and took the container and read the label. Kyo wanted to tell Die what had happened, but he figured that the other would freak out and probably make it worse. The boy put the container down on the table and stood from the table. “Want to go watch TV?” He asked, waiting for Die’s answer before moving to the living room. “You can probably finish up your work too.” The boy knew that while he was in the hospital, Die had made an attempt at doing his work, but most of it was neglected.
“That sounds nice,” Die said, following the boy to the living room. Kyo settled in the corner of the couch, resting against the arm. The boy picked up the remote control and flicked on the television, surfing around the channels as Die booted up his laptop. He seated himself on the cushion next to the smaller redhead and started catching up on his work, knowing that he was behind, but feeling far too happy to finally have Kyo home with some sense of normalcy.
Kyo flipped though the channels; stopping on one to wonder what was on it. He soon found out it was one of those drama shows where a child had been abused and molested. Quickly, he flipped through the channels once more, looking for something else. The boy didn’t need to be reminded what had happened by some cop show. The smaller redhead finally let it set on the cartoon channel and watched it with little interest.
Diligently, Die worked until he caught up with what needed to be done. It was a little difficult to focus when he just wanted to stop and reach over to touch Kyo. With his work finished up, he closed the laptop and placed it on the coffee table. Playing it safe, the taller redhead reached over and settled his hand against Kyo’s rounded belly, knowing that the other accepted those touches more than others.
The boy moved to lean against Die with a soft sigh. He rested his head on the taller redhead’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Kyo started to drift to sleep slowly, resting against Die. He soon forgot where he was and thought he was at home with his father, making him jerk awake and looked around, finding himself back at his and Die’s home. Not knowing what caused him to think that, he shook his head and leaned back into the corner of the couch and curled up slightly.
Frowning, Die watched the boy for a moment. “Is something wrong?” he questioned gently, not wanting to push the other. He had a suspicion that Kyo had gotten spooked by being so close to him. Sometimes, it even happened at night, while they lay in bed together. The smaller male would simply startle and move away, resting in an uncomfortable sort of stiff position until he drifted off for a brief amount of sleep before his insomnia interrupted.
“I’m fine.” Kyo's voice was small, having gotten used to using it normally. He relaxed slightly, keeping his eyes on the television, not wanting to see the upset expression on Die. The boy didn’t want Die sad due to his misery. That was one thing he didn’t want to share with the redhead, he wanted him to be happy.
There was that tone; the one that Kyo used when he was avoiding a problem. If things stayed this way, the boy would wind up with denial or something worse. “Kyo… can I ask you something?” Die started hesitantly, unsure if what he wanted to ask was appropriate or if it would make the other indignant.
A question; it could be something simple or it could be something that could be a trigger. He had two options. Avoid it or answer it before it becomes a problem. Answering it would do a lot of good if he wanted to ever get back to being semi normal again. Then again, he was never really normal to begin with. “Hm?” He hummed, signaling for the other to go on, deciding to charge the problem head on.
“Would you be opposed to visiting a therapist?” It was simpler to just come out and ask. No beating around the bush, just a straightforward question. Die thought that maybe it would benefit the boy to talk with someone trained to deal with things and give good advice on coping. Die could only do so much for Kyo, and he feared that it wouldn’t be enough.
“I…” Kyo hadn’t been expecting that one. He stammered for a moment, trying to collect his words but he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he did need help… Maybe he was just that messed up and did need the help. The boy shrugged, not really knowing what to say. He knew he needed the help, but he didn’t know if he wanted it or not.
“I don’t mean that offensively,” Die said, frowning again. There was no way to go about this without hurting the boy’s feelings, the taller male realized. “You went through so much, especially when you were younger. Some of those things need to be confronted.” It hurt Die to see the boy get that far off look that signaled that he was remembering something that Die couldn’t do anything about.
“I know… I just… I don’t know. I really don’t… I know I need the help, but… I don’t know if I can trust a complete stranger and tell him about my problems…” That was the one problem Kyo had, trust. He didn’t know if he could trust a stranger with the secrets of his past as much as he could Die.
“I’m just asking you to consider it.” Die didn’t want to push the boy into something that would only make him uncomfortable. Reaching out, he grasped the other’s hand and rubbed at the soft skin. All that the taller male wanted was for Kyo to be happy and at ease.
“I’ll… I’ll think about it.” He didn’t honestly know what to do. Here, Die wanted him to go to a therapist for help, but Kyo didn’t know who to ask for advice on this. Normally, he’d ask his mother for help, but that wouldn’t be much help at all. Who would he go to now? He sighed and cuddled back into the corner of couch more, sighing and closing his eyes once more.
Sleeping pills, he needed to find out if he can have some, but most of them directed not to take them when pregnant. Just his luck. A small alarm went off that Die had set to signal Kyo’s snack time. They had decided on setting a timer so they wouldn’t forget about his meals.
“What will you eat?” Die questioned, releasing the boy’s hand and standing from he couch. Lately, the only reason Kyo seemed to eat was for the baby. That wasn’t enough, though. Kyo needed adequate nourishment for two people, not just one. It was hard to get the other to eat everything he was given as well.
“I don’t know… Can I have some apple slices?” He asked, not able to think of anything else. The boy wasn’t that hungry, but he knew he had to eat something. Feeling faint, he moved to lie down on his side, curling up and watching the television. It seemed as if he was ready for another brief nap.
Pressing his lips together, Die nodded and headed for the kitchen. Selecting an apple from the basket of fruit they kept on the counter, the taller male turned on the sink and washed the fruit. He cored the apple and then started slicing it, placing the pieces into a small bowl. Really, Kyo needed more food that that.
A sudden wave of dizziness seemed to hit Kyo out of nowhere. He shook his head, but it seemed to only make it worse. The boy groaned and clenched his eyes shut. Suddenly, the faint feeling got worse before he passed out, the darkness taking him in and holding onto him tight. His body went limp on the couch in an odd position, his eyes shut peacefully.
With the apple cut up and a small glass of water poured for Kyo, Die headed to the living room. “Kyo, I have your apple.” He placed the bowl and glass on the coffee table after moving away his laptop. The boy didn’t stir from his nap and that worried Die, because the he never slept that soundly that quickly. “Kyo?”
The boy’s body didn’t move, not even a twitch as he laid there. Mayu and one of her kittens got up on the couch, sniffing the younger male. The mother cat let out a loud meow, pawing at Kyo for attention, but he didn’t react. She moved to jump down to the floor next to the couch and stood on her back paws, her front paws on the couch to hold her up as she looked up at the smaller redhead. Craning her neck, she looked to Die, sitting back on the floor before walking over to him and rubbing up against him.
At the rate things had been going, Die was scared. He pressed his fingertips to the boy’s throat and felt the strange, irregular flutter of his pulse there. Kyo had obviously passed out again and it frightened the taller male. How many times could things like this happen before it did serious damage to Kyo and their daughter?
Running to the bedroom, he grabbed his keys and wallet before hurrying to open the door and get the car door open. With any obstruction removed, Die lifted the boy from the couch and took him out to the car, securing his body quickly with the belt. He locked up and hurried back to the car, cranking the engine and speeding to the hospital once again.
When they arrived, Kyo was admitted quickly and taken back to a room. Die must have seemed like the most irresponsible father and partner ever for Kyo to have to come to the hospital so often. The taller male stood awkwardly against the wall in Kyo’s room, watching the IV drip nourishment directly into the boy’s veins. Kyo’s blood sugar was dangerously low and Die knew it was from lack of food. He just couldn’t force the other to eat enough; it was hard enough to make him consume the amount he did already.
A doctor had just informed him that she, this time, advised that Kyo stay with them for maybe longer than a week so that he could stay on monitored bed rest. What that translated to Die was that he couldn’t be trusted with caring for Kyo.
It took a good while before the boy managed to stir from the darkness that tried to keep a hold of him. He groaned and reached up to rub his eyes, looking around to find himself in a hospital room with an IV stuck in his arm.
What happened? Did he pass out again? It had to have been since he wasn’t getting the proper diet he was supposed to be following. A twinge of pain ran through his abdomen once more, making him wince and his hand moving to rest on his stomach. Too much stress, once again.
Kyo looked over to find Die in the chair, talking with the doctor over something, but he didn’t understand what. He let his head rest back on the pillow once more as he fiddled with the hospital covers, wracking his brain. The boy needed help, he knew he did; but now, he definitely knew he had to get help, something so he wouldn’t be endangering the life of their baby.
The doctor left the room and Die noticed that Kyo had woken up. The boy seemed as uneasy as he always did as of late, fidgeting and looking around. Maybe he was a little disoriented, still. That would make sense to Die; one minute, he had been at home, the next, he was in the hospital again. “Are you feeling any better?” the taller man asked, taking a seat next to the bed.
“I suppose…” Kyo knew lying wasn’t helping, so he might as well let Die know his answer. “Die…” He started his voice still small and insecure as he tried to find the words he was looking for. “I… I think I will go see a therapist…” Looking over to the taller redhead, he gave him a small, nervous smile.
“We can find one that seems good to you,” Die said, returning the other’s smile. It would be difficult for the boy, the taller male knew, but it was something that seemed like it was necessary. Kyo needed an outlet, with someone competent enough to help him reconcile his emotions safely.
“Thank you.” Kyo’s smile grew slightly as he reached out to hold Die’s hand. “I can’t keep acting like things are okay and nothing ever happened.” Kyo sighed and tightened his grip slightly on the redhead’s hand. “At least I know from here on out, it may be easier…”
Die only hoped that was the case. He hated the fact that the other had been forced to deal with those feelings for so long by himself. The grasp Kyo had on his hand made him feel warm inside, like they were sharing something that had been missing for a little while. It was like a sort of emotional gap had been closed, and it felt good.
Feeling his stomach rumble slightly, he flushed. “I’m… kind of hungry…” He confessed feeling their daughter moving in protest to no food. Feeling like Die should know that she was safe; he pulled the other’s hand over to rest on his stomach at the spot where he could feel their daughter moving the most.
The gentle pushing of the baby against Kyo’s belly made Die smile. The other felt warm against his hand where he touched him. “You’re on the IV, but I don’t see why you can’t have something to eat. Maybe I can find something that will work with your diet. Is there anything you want?”
“Well, maybe the food cart will come around with something. It is almost dinner time.” He looked at the clock on the wall before looking back to Die. “I’m sure the doctor is keeping track of my diet too, they’d need to if they want me healthy and all.”
“Hopefully, that’s the case,” the taller male said, also glancing at the clock. Maybe Kyo’s appetite would increase enough so that he could be sent home earlier. Die was sure that their daughter would appreciate the return of the extra nourishment greatly.
As if hearing the two talking, a knock came at the door by a nurse on dinner duty. “Mr. Nishimura, your dinner’s here.” She said with a smile, picking up his designated tray and sat it on the hospital table before moving to the boy’s bed side and pressing a button to raise his bed. Kyo thought for a moment before smiling and thanking her. When she left he looked over to Die and gave him a soft smile. “Maybe one day it can change from Nishimura to Andou…”
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