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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)	By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings.

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A/N: Hey guys, so sorry this has taken so long, real life has been getting in the way. I thought I'd upload a short chapter because I haven't updated in a while but then make chapter 27 a long one (up within the next week). Thanks for the encouraging comments, it's great to hear that people are still reading and enjoying the story =)
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BRIAN.

“Sorry, Ianto.” Brian said, turning to the stunned singer at the bar. “Pick up where we left off another time? We have to uh...”

“Brian!” Stef looked like he was going to cry.

“Ok yeah, sorry. Bye!”

The pair ran for the exit, weaving through the maze of people on the way out, Brian leading Stef by the hand. “It’s ok,” he whispered, half to himself. “it’ll be ok.”

They made it outside, much to Brian’s relief. It seemed to calm Stef down, for now at least. “Are you ok?” he asked.

Stef nodded, tightening his grip on the smaller boy’s hand. “Thank you.” He mumbled. “I... I’m sorry if I interrupted anyth-“

“No, it’s fine.” Brian smiled. “He’s not really interested anyway, well the alcohol makes him think he is.”

As they walked down the stairs and onto the street to wait for Courtney, Brian felt a tap on his shoulder. “About time!” he rolled his eyes, turning around. It wasn’t the red head.

“Fancy seeing you two here.”

Stef’s eyes widened as his hand frantically searched for his friend’s again, grasping it.

“What the fuck do you want? Why are you here?” the black haired boy spat.

The other boy smiled. “Working, gotta go where the market is.” His grin sent a chill up Brian’s spine, he couldn’t imagine how Stef was feeling. “You guys are an uh... interesting act. Where’s your skirt, Bri? How I miss it.”

“You had better fuck off.” Brian said sternly, sounding more confident than he felt. He’d never been so aware of his short stature.

“Or what? You’ll get his little friend to blow up my apartment again?” the blonde nodded at Stef who was shaking and staring at the ground.

“W-what? What are you on about? You know what, actually, I don’t care. We’re leaving.” Brian put his arm around his friend and led him away, looking for a taxi.

Michael ran after them. “You didn’t know? That fucking Courtney fucking tried to kill me.” He laughed.

“Good!” Brian yelled back. “I wish he’d succeeded, now piss off!”

“As you wish, m’lady.” Michael turned to leave and was met with a fist square in his jaw. “Jesus!” he exclaimed, putting a hand to his mouth. “Wh... Fuck that’s the second fucking time you’ve done that!”

“What are you doing here!?” Courtney yelled at the top of his voice. “You aren’t supposed to be here!”

“Courtney, don’t!” Brian called out to him. They didn’t need to re-open old wounds. “Let’s just go.”

“I thought I got rid of you.” The red head snarled at Michael. “You weren’t supposed to be here, ever!”

“From what I here, neither are you. Didn’t you ship off, leave your little toy boy here all alone?” The blonde grinned, flicking his hair from his eyes. “We’re so alike, you and I...”

“No! I’m not like you!” Courtney yelled, making another dash for the other boy.

“Hey!” A third voice called out. Ianto stood between them, people were starting to stare.

‘Oh great,’ Brian thought to himself. ‘like more people need to get involved.’ “Ianto, no, it’s ok. We have it under control. We’re leaving, aren’t we Courtney?”

The red head hadn’t taken his eyes off Michael. “Yes, we’re leaving.” He turned to join the pair, shooting a last look back over his shoulder. “I never want to see you again.”

STEFAN.

Stef was shaking the entire drive home. He had only recently been able to accept and move on from all that happened with Michael, and now this was the last thing he needed. He felt bad for dragging his friends home early, worse for possibly ruining Brian’s shot with someone. He always seemed to mess things up, not just for himself, but for everyone.

Once they arrived home, the blonde was exhausted, physically, mentally but most of all emotionally. He needed sleep, but first had to get something off his chest. “Guys, um... thanks.” He muttered awkwardly as Courtney locked the front door, joining the pair in the living room. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Brian smiled, placing a hand on the taller boy’s shoulder. “You don’t have to thank us, Stef.”

“No, I do. And I just wanted to say... I don’t want anybody right now. I mean, I don’t want to be WITH anybody, I just need some time to be alone.” He could almost feel his heart breaking as he saw Courtney’s face drop. It was unfair to do this to him, but even more unfair to lead him on when he wasn’t ready. “I’m sorry, Courtney. I know I said all that stuff yesterday but... and I know you came all this way to see me but...” tears were slowly streaming down his cold face, but Stef didn’t care. Afterall he was standing with the only two people in the world he had nothing to hide from. The two who knew him better than anybody. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. Either of you. Not when I’m still hurting myself.”

“S-Stef we understand you’re upset by what just happened but... maybe you should sleep on it? You might feel a bit better in the morning.” Brian said softly. “Do you want us to leave?”

“No.” Stefan replied quickly. The last thing he wanted was to be alone. “No, I... if you want I mean... I’d like it if you’d stay. Both of you.”

***

Come morning Stef wasn’t feeling better at all. He pulled himself out of bed, greeted by Courtney making breakfast, as he had done every morning since arriving.

“Morning, lovely. Feeling any better?” the red head asked, smiling.

“Yeah, sure.” Stefan lied, frowning at the phone. Seven missed calls. What?
The answering machine crackled as Stef pressed the ‘play’ button.

“Hey, Stefan?” a chirpy Welsh voice called out. “I hope this is your number, I uh, just wanted to make sure everything was ok last night? Anyway, if you guys are interested I have an interesting offer for you. Call me. Oh, it’s Ianto.”

The next six messages were all similar, but each becoming more urgent.

“Wow, he’s keen.” The blonde mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Seven calls in... what time is it?”

“Bit after four in the afternoon.” Brian smiled, joining them in the kitchen. “Who called seven times?”

“Ianto. He says he has an offer for us. Fuck, four, really? I should ca-“

“I’ll call him back.”

BRIAN.

Ianto had asked to meet him in town. It was freezing outside, but Brian was eager to find out what was so exciting that it warranted seven phone calls and a face to face meeting. He hadn’t wanted to leave Stef, but at least Courtney was with him.

“Brian!” the taller boy called out upon his arrival at the pub. “Thanks so much for coming, I was starting to worry you fellas had fallen off the face of the planet!”

Brian smiled. “This had better be good, that damn phone woke me up at eight this morning!”

“How kind of you to ignore it.” Ianto smirked. “Long story short, we want you to play more shows with us.”

“You couldn’t have said this over the phone?”

“A lot more. We’re doing a mini-tour starting Tuesday, goes for two weeks. I mean, we’re not going too far, basically to Manchester and back, stopping at a few places on the way of course.”

The smaller boy was speechless. They wanted him and Stef to actually TOUR with them?

“Little stuff, I know. However, if that goes well, would you be interested in supporting us on our national tour around Christmas?”

“Y-you’re kidding, right?” Brian laughed. “You’ve seen us play twice, neither time with a drummer, and you want us to travel with you?”

“Ah, that is one thing. Drum machine is all fine and dandy for the Manchester trip, but if you come with us later you’ll need a real drummer. A human one.” Ianto took a sip of his beer, peering over the glance waiting for Brian’s reaction.

Brian knew Stef was in no state fit to play shows right now, but how could they say no to this? “Wow, Ianto I... don’t know what to say. That’s... amazing!”

“Is that a yes?” the Welshman smiled.

“Um, well obviously I have to talk to Stef-“

“Oh yeah, how is he? He looked a little shaken up last night?”

Brian sighed. “It’s a long story. But I think he’s ok.”

“Glad to hear it.” Ianto smiled, brushing his hand over Brian’s.

The smaller boy pulled away. “What are you doing?”

“Hm? What?”

“N-nothing.” Brian shrugged. He must have imagined it. “Look, I should probably get home and talk to Stef. I’ll give you a call tonight?"

“Day or night, can’t wait.”

Brian frowned, Ianto’s demeanour was very confusing, and if he didn’t know better, he’d think he was cracking onto him. “Um, ok, I’ll see you.”

***

Brian could only hope that Stefan would be as keen as he was to go with Hanlon Riots to Manchester. It was a once in a life time offer that surely they couldn’t turn down?

“S-Stef? Courtney?” he called out, closing the front door behind him.

“Living room!” a voice replied.

The black haired boy walked into the living room to find Courtney and Stef sitting on the floor. “You’re playing Monopoly with two people?” he laughed. “Isn’t that a bit redundant?”

“Got a better idea, smart arse?” Courtney teased. “What did Mr. Gorgeous want?”

Stef shot the red head a look.

“Well, he is!”

“Get this,” Brian said excitedly, joining them on the floor. “Ianto wants us to play more shows with them. Two WEEKS of shows! All the way to Manchester!”

STEFAN.

“M-Manchester? Brian, how the hell are WE getting to Manchester?” Stef asked. He could tell it wasn’t the response his friend was after.

“I don’t know, we have a couple of days to work that out.” Brian shrugged. “But think about it, two weeks of playing! And then they want us for a national tour around Christmas! National, Stef!”

“Jesus,” Courtney muttered. “that’s great, guys!”

“Why us though? I mean, we’re hardly a well established band. Hell, we’re not even a real band!” he scoffed.

“Does it matter? We’d get paid for doing it and we get to go on a road trip. What do we have to lose?”

‘Our sanity’, Stef thought to himself. “What about our jobs? I’m sure Randy would give me the time off, but you? What about a van to get us and all our stuff around? Where are we going to sleep?” he hated being the pessimist, but someone had to play devil's advocate.

Brian’s face dropped. “I hadn’t thought of that...”

“I’ll help.” Courtney butted in, Stef looked at him, surprised. “Well, I’m here for another couple of weeks. I’ll hire you guys a van since you’re too young. We can track down some dodgy hotels on the road, how hard can it be?”

“But Courtney, we don’t have the money for that!” Stef protested, leaning back on his hands.

“Don’t worry, if you feel bad about it later you can pay me back when you're big rockstars.”

“See, Stef! It’ll be fine! I’ll work out something with my boss.” Brian said excitedly. How could Stef possibly deny him this.

“On one condition,” he sighed. “no disguises. We perform as us.”

“Fine, whatever. Thanks Stef.”

Stefan collapsed onto his back as his smaller friend tackled him in a hug.

“I’ll call Ianto!”

“Christmas has come early for someone.” Courtney laughed as Brian ran for the phone.

“Why?” the blonde asked. “Why do this for us?”

“Well, despite everything, you’re my friend.” The red head shrugged. “If you don’t want to be with anyone at the moment, I understand. That doesn’t mean I can’t be there for you, does it?”

Stefan smiled. “I guess not.”

“Plus, between you and me, I’m hoping you’ll change your mind any minute now.” Courtney grinned.

Stef couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, me too.”

***

Somehow, a mere day and a half later they were on the road. Courtney had arranged for a van to be dropped off in the morning, the trio had everything packed, Brian had lied his way to getting two weeks off, and Ianto had dropped off the gear they’d run out on two nights ago.

“You do know where we’re going, right?” Stef asked Courtney nervously.

“Calm down, of course I do. Now, you’re not going to ask me for the next four hours are you?”

Four hours, great. Stefan made his way to the back of the van to sit next to Brian who was furiously scribbling away, most likely more songs.

"Stef," the smaller boy asked, not looking up. "do you think there's something a bit off about Ianto?"

"Well, you know what they say about the Welsh." Stef joked, smiling. "What exactly do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. I just get this weird vibe from him."

The blonde frowned. "You don't like him?"

"Oh, na I do." Brian mumbled, finally putting down his pen. "He keeps kinda... flirting with me." he scrunched his face up.

"So? You love it when guys flirt with you."

"He's straight, Stef. Very straight."

Stefan laughed. Brian always seemed to attract the strangest types.

"Does someone want to come and keep the taxi driver company!?" Courtney yelled from the diver's seat.

"You'll live." he grinned at Brian before heading to the front of the van.

BRIAN.

Brian looked down at what he'd written;

'One last thing before I shuffle off the planet
I will be the one to make you crawl
so I came down to wish you an unhappy birthday
someone call the ambulance there’s gonna be an accident.'

"What rubbish." he mumbled aloud, setting aside the entire piece of paper, he seldom threw anything out.

***

It was almost dark by the time they made it to their crummy motel in Manchester. Where Courtney had found this one, Brian didn't know, but he was just glad not to have to sleep in the van. Heaving his bags upstairs, the black haired boy was stopped by someone.

"Need a hand?" Ianto asked, holding one of his out.

"Cheers." Brian mumbled, handing over a shoulder bag. "Where are you guys staying?"

"Just down the road. Not as much personality as this place, but it sure does smell better."

Brian laughed, unlocking his room. It was small and dark but it had a bed and really, that was all he needed. "So uh, thanks. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

The taller boy didn't move. "You busy now?"

"Why?"

Ianto grinned. "Well, the night is still young, I thought we could hit the town."

"On a Tuesday?"

"Ok maybe not hit the town but do... something? Come on, Brian."

Alarm bells went off in Brian's head. He knew where this would lead; he also knew that's not something he wanted. "Sorry, Ianto, I think I might just-"

"Please?"

'Oh fuck it.' Brain grabbed his coat and followed the Welshman to the stairs, slamming the door behind him.

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A/N: You know the drill. Comments are very much appreciated, long or short. Also if you want to give criticism, that'd be great. I don't want to write in a way that'll put people off so if something is up, don't be afraid to put me in my place =)
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Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)