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Caught Like A Fly	By : goodbyegraceful Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Falling in Reverse Views: 1231 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Falling in Reverse or any of its members. I am not making money from this work.

Chapter List
- 25
- 26
There she stood, in all of her natural beauty, most of it covered up now. Her light brown hair curled delicately to her elbows, her fingers were manicured, she wore expensive clothes and her makeup was done well enough to fool you into thinking she wasn't wearing any at all. I knew better. She was prettier without all of it, but if I remembered correctly, this was the new Marianne.
"Hi Jacky," she said, and swallowed uncomfortably.
"I'll leave you two alone," my mum said, and disappeared into the kitchen. This was much different than a random phone call in the middle of the night. This was worse. I couldn't hang up on her, and I couldn't slam the door in her face. Curse the gentleman in me!
"Will you walk with me?" she asked, holding out a hand. I put out my elbow for her reluctantly and we went outside.
It was a nice day in England, even though my mood told me otherwise. Marianne said nothing as her high heels clicked on the pavement, and simply held my arm and walked next to me. I didn't like the feelings of nostalgia, and while it was bad enough when she was silent, it got even worse when she started talking.
"I'm tired of London," she said finally, and my heart constricted. No. Not now. Not after I spent all of that time forgetting her. Not after Andy finally pulled her head out of her ass. "I was thinking Paris, or New York...perhaps Los Angeles."
"What changed your mind?" I asked as politely and as uncaring as possible. She sniffed at my tone, and continued.
"You did," she answered. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. I made a mistake, and I broke your heart, Jacky. I never stopped loving you."
"I'm in love with someone else," I said stiffly, and dropped my arm. "You need to go." Why was she doing this to me?
"You need to stop fooling yourself," she said, crossing her arms. "Admit it. Andy is a rebound."
"Is it because I'm famous now? Is that it?" I asked, and looked straight into those eyes that used to be a place of comfort. "Or maybe you're bored. It doesn't matter. I don't even like you anymore, let alone love you."
"Alright," she said testily, in a huff. "If that's true, then you won't be opposed to a simple test. One hour a day until the day you are scheduled to leave. If you don't love me by the end of this week, you won't have to hear from me ever again. But, if you do, you have to forget about Andy. I'll move to L.A. with you and things can go back to the way they were." With that, she left. I felt for the picture of Andy that I kept with me all the time, and the sight of her face made me feel a little better. But only a little.
I am doomed.
*   *   *
"Ronnie, I made a mistake," Viv said frantically as she burst from her garage. We had been staying at her place with Rachel until I could have a forge installed in my house. A lot of things had happened in the past week, and she could have been freaking out about anything. Jacky was in London, Mika quit the band and broke up with Rachel, so everything was a giant mess.
"What is it now?" I asked, and she took out her phone to emphasize her words with it.
"Andy played her song for Jacky."
"Isn't that a good thing?" I asked, but she didn't relax. What the fuck was going on? "Isn't that what we've been waiting for? He's forgiven her, hasn't he?"
"When he replies with a simple, 'That was really good', no!" she shrieked, and threw her phone across the room. "He just called me asking for advice. About Mari-fucking-anne!" Oh no. Viv was nowhere near done ranting. "I sent him to London to punish Andy, not so he could rekindle some old flame! What is he THINKING?! I have to fix this, Ronnie! I HAVE TO! This is all my fault! Andy is about to be brought into a new band, and she told off Connor and now look. Jacky is off gallivanting with his ex-fiancee!"
"I'll call him," I said, feeling suddenly protective of Andy. Yeah, she probably deserved to feel what she put him through with Connor, but I wouldn't have felt right about it.
"Don't," Viv ordered, her voice livid. "He already knows where we stand."
"We?"
"I told him I'd kill him."
"I'm not killing my guitar player," I said and shook my head. "I won't call, then." She relaxed a little, and perked up like she had an idea.
"This could backfire on me, but I guess I'll find out. Does Andy have a passport?" Jacky, what have you done?
*   *   *
Something felt wrong. I finally found the courage to show Jacky the song I had been working on for him, and he seemed...distracted. He was quick with his compliments, but his happiness was forced. This was the surprise I had planned, and he wasn't the least bit surprised, or pleased. My mood plummeted, and I was back to snarky comments and refused to go near my guitar or my computer. It sucked. It must have sucked. Who the hell was I to be playing guitar for a guitarist? I was an idiot. My phone rang, and it was Viv.
"Hi," I said sadly. I didn't like feeling this way. Not that anyone else did either, but I used to have an outlet to shout at or a show to play. Now it just bottled up.
"Go to the airport. I'm flying your ass to London."
"Why? Jacky will be back soon enough, I think I can handle another week without him--"
"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!" she bellowed, and my ear started ringing. "Your flight leaves in four hours. I'll see you in a week." She hung up, and I stared at my phone like it was poisonous, or as if it would start shouting at me. I rubbed my ear and shoved some clothes into my backpack. Okay, then. I guess I was going to London.
*   *   *
Vivian's death threat did little to improve my situation. Marianne had been true to her word and she showed up on my doorstep the very next day for our hour-long walk, and the next day. I hated how she had occupied my mind like she belonged there. She left me, I told myself over and over. She's bored. Her boy toy dumped her, and she heard I was in town and thought she would cause a scene.
Today we walked to one of the parks nearby. Dogs barked and chased Frisbees, and kids chased each other, laughing and screaming and scrambling over the play equipment. She watched it all. She didn't wear makeup today, and she wore an old shirt that I recognized.
"Kids were never my thing," she said, still watching them. "Do you still want kids like you used to?" I gave her a flat look before looking at something else. "Modeling isn't all it's cracked up to be. We're puppets and we do what we're told. We wear what we're told, we walk how we're told, we pose how we're told; it's exhausting."
"I bet."
"Oh come on Jacky, please talk to me," she said. "Tell me about Andy. You sounded so happy before you learned I had come to see you."
"I am happy," I said, but I didn't feel it. She could see right through me.
"I'm affecting you. That means you still care."
"I wanted to marry you," I said fiercely, making her start. "Now you're forcing yourself on me when I want you gone. Wouldn't you be unhappy, too?"
"No, I would know it for what it was. You never fell out of love with me, did you?" she asked, and she gave me that look, that searching look. She was reading me. She did the same thing when I proposed to her. Andy fell away; I couldn't remember how I met her, or why I started to care about her in the first place. I vaguely remembered kissing her, but it seemed so foggy now. I remembered the pain though. How was she any different from Marianne? She was leaning closer to me now, but I couldn't move. What if Marianne meant it? What if she really did want to go to L.A.? Wait.
Someone played me a song the other night. Andy. She wanted to talk again before I went to bed. How could that have been foggy at all? I did fall out of love with Marianne. I fell out of love with her the moment I met Andy. It was too late. She had pressed her lips to mine and I couldn't stop myself. I had loved her for so long and...
"See? That wasn't hard," she said, smiling widely. I left her sitting on the bench, and sprinted home. I wiped my mouth and spit as I ran, but it didn't help. I threw open the door and my mum tried to tell me something, but I couldn't hear her. All of the shit I gave Andy for Connor, and I just willingly kissed my ex-fiancee.
*   *   *
I held the piece of paper with Jacky's address on it, and matched it to the house I stood in front of. These European people were weird. They drove on the wrong side of the road, and their addresses were funky. I knocked on the door and an older woman answered the door. I recognized her as Jacky's mother.
"Andy?" she asked tentatively, and I nodded. "Oh! Jacky didn't say you were coming! What a surprise! Come in, come in." She went on saying how she hoped I found the place alright, how Jacky was out for a walk and that he'd be back soon, and continued to ramble until she left me alone in his bedroom. The room looked mostly abandoned, but his bed was messed up, and there was a suitcase on the floor. A Final Fantasy poster hung on the wall, part of it bleached from the sun that streamed through the window above his bed. You could see holes where other posters were tacked up and taken down, and it made me feel warm. This is where Jacky grew up.
My thoughts were interrupted by the door slamming, and someone panting downstairs. I didn't have to see who it was to know it was Jacky. His mom—or was it mum?—tried to tell him that I was here, but he wouldn't listen to her. He wasn't saying anything, but the air felt frazzled. That wrong feeling returned, and I started to feel extremely nervous as I heard footsteps come upstairs. Breathe, Andy, I told myself. Jacky peeked into the room, probably wondering why the door was open, and a look of utter surprise took over his face.
"Andy?" he asked, and blinked a few times as if he were seeing things. "How are you here?"
"Viv shouted at me and told me to get on a plane," I said carefully. "I think you would do the same if you were in my shoes. What is going on? Are you okay?" He sat down on the floor and covered his face with his hands. "No. Not okay. There I go, asking stupid questions."
"I don't deserve you," he said immediately, his voice muffled. I narrowed my eyes. Viv was upset about something, or she would have never sent me here in the first place. I should have thought about this earlier. I didn't have time to fully put my feelings aside and obtain a friend-only status, so this was going to be interesting.
"I'm assuming Marianne has something to do with this," I guessed, and he looked up at me miserably. "Yup. That bitch. I was wondering when she'd show back up and try to fuck with my life." I sat down next to him, and forced him to set his head on my shoulder. I was furious; partly with Jacky for letting this happen, and mostly at Marianne for instigating it.
"I kissed her," he said quietly. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. For the first time in my life, I stayed silent when all I wanted to do was to scream and shout and throw things. It didn't last long.
"Why does this keep happening to us?" I asked, my fury making me shake. "Is it because we don't really love each other? Is this not supposed to happen?"
"Andy—" He stopped and I stood up and started to pace.
"This is fucking stupid," I ranted, trying not to stomp. "The moment I feel okay letting Connor go off on his merry way, we get to deal with another ex, only this time we've stepped it up. She was someone you were willing to marry, so what's next, hm? Is Ronnie going to develop a hatred for me because of what I've put you through so far? Maybe my parents won't like you, or a million other things that seem to go wrong whenever we're together."
"Andy, stop."
"Our friends are getting tired of hearing about our relationship drama, that's when you know there might be something more to it than the problems at hand—"
"I said, stop," he demanded, gripping my shoulders and forcing me to look at him. "Close your eyes."
"No."
"DO. IT." I closed my eyes and my breathing instantly changed. I felt his forehead and nose connect with mine. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want to go home."
"I didn't ask what you wanted to do," he corrected, and now it was really hard to think properly when I knew his mouth was so close. "What do you want me to do?"
"There isn't anything you can do," I said, and his nose moved from the tip of mine to the side, so that when he spoke, I could feel the heat coming from lips.
"Exactly. So stop freaking out," he said quietly. His eyes were sad, and he let go of me. "Go home if you want to. I don't blame you."
"I can't," I said irritably. "It's set to return on your plane with you."
"I see."
"I'll go get a hotel room," I said, and cleared my throat. "I can't exactly stay here without wanting to rip your throat out."
"I'm glad you know what it feels like," he said, his tone partly triumphant, partly angry.
How many times was I going to walk away from this man?
- 25
- 26
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Caught Like A Fly