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Breaking Through	By : gardenrose Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 4056 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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There was something fake about everything Daniel did those days. He went through the motions. He came home to the fridge full of beers every night and all his sorrows looked different in a drunken daze… He had made a decision he wasn’t so sure of. But he kept convincing himself there was no other way out of the misery. Why did it lead him into more misery? He would mix his beer with Jack Daniels and lay awake for hours and hours thinking of how his life with Darren should have been different. They drifted apart so quickly after that night when Daniel told him … What exactly did he tell him? Why did he do that? Is THIS better now? Hours would pass and Daniel would fall into troubled sleep, waking up the next morning just slightly hangovered… his body seemed to have worked out some kind of a very smart immunity to booze.

Life as they used to know it was definitely lost somewhere along the way as they tried to push each other away yet in the studio they were as close as ever… They worked a lot. Every day they met in a studio and worked. The tension was creating some good music, as it did when they struggled with their first record. Although this tension more resembled an agony than anything else.

They still had sex. Oh yes they did still have sex. After hard long studio sessions they’d brush past each other and electricity would hit the body parts that touched between them… They’d touch for one instant and it would bring them panting and sweating and pushing each other against the walls and slamming doors in a hurry to get their release. Sex had never been so hot, so unpredictable, so abusive and so fulfilling. Feelings have never been so distant and empty. They didn’t even talk.

One afternoon Daniel had Darren pinned to the wall of a tiny little restroom of the studio where they worked and he broke the unspoken rules and tried to kiss Darren’s lips… Darren turned his head away from him…. Daniel didn’t know what he was doing. It felt so right. Darren’s rejection felt so wrong. Still, with all the separation, with everything in between them, it hurt him so much. He took a step back, zipped up his pants and walked away. No, there was no way back. He was just making it more difficult every day.

He walked out for a smoke, sat down on the pavement outside of the studio and for long long while held his head in his hands thinking where this incredible trip to fame has took him. He felt all those days and nights they were together, as troubled as they seemed back then, were really heaven compared to the hell they were going through now. If he only knew… he couldn’t live with Darren. He couldn’t live without him. And Darren still loved him, didn’t he? Those eyes when he accidentally caught Darren watching him… He felt the longing and loneliness in them… Yet he never called him in the middle of the night like he used to. Daniel wondered how he coped with it…

He sighed heavily and got up. He headed back towards the studio to pick up his stuff. It’s been a tough day.

Silently he pushed open the door and froze at what he saw … it wasn’t anything awful, it wasn’t anything horrible, no one had died, no one had been killed… it was just Darren, on his knees in front of their new and initially temporary keyboard player Richard. Surely Daniel had seen men giving blowjobs, right? Surely Darren knew how to do it, right? He’s done it so many times… and he was so good at it, too… Why did it come as a shock? Is this why Darren never called him any more in the middle of the night? Did this really hurt the way it seemed to hurt or maybe Daniel was imagining it all?

It took a few moments for Darren and Richard to register they were not alone in the room. Awkward silence. Daniel crossed the room, packed his guitar, got his bag and left. All in dead silence. Meanwhile Darren jut sat down on the floor, knees up to his chin, arms closed around his legs. Richard was trying to zip up his pants, swearing silently under his breath.

Daniel had no idea what happened in that room after he left. He wasn’t even sure he cared. Did he care about Darren the way he did before they had slept together? Did he care about him the way he did when they were together, *really* together? What kind of jealousy was this? Didn’t they actually ‘split’? Wasn’t Darren actually free to do what he wants? Sex between them was so obviously just a release of their tension of being in the same room? Just sparks on their old flames? What did he want? What the hell do you – Daniel Jones – want?

The phone rang in the middle of the night. Three days later.

“Daniel?”

It was Elena.

“And who did you expect?” Daniel snapped back. Was he really disappointed it was not Darren? Did he have anything to say to him?

Elena seemed to be waiting for him to think this all over. She was waiting for him to speak.

“It’s just over, Elena. What do you want from me?”

“It’s not over till you both say it’s over, both at the same time in the same room. Are you ready for that?”

“Yes, Elena. It is REALLY over.”
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Breaking Through