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Road Signs and Rock Songs	By : classic06 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Kelly Clarkson Views: 9486 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction. I do not know Kelly Clarkson,and I am not profiting from this story.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
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"Had fun?" Ashley laughed softly as Kelly walked into the living room after having showered.
"You totally missed out," Kelly replied, leaning over the back of the sofa.
"Something tells me not."
Kelly smiled, "So what are you watching? Soap operas? Come on, Ash, those things are so ridiculous."
"Where is your little friend? Shouldn't she be distracting you and keeping you out of my hair?"
Kelly laughed, "She wanted to watch a movie, so I told her to pick one out. I came see if you wanted in?"
"I'll pass. Being with you two in the same room is hard enough...I can't imagine what it would be like with the lights off. I like tension free rooms where I can breathe."
"Oh whatever," Kelly hit her shoulder.
Ashley grabbed her arm, acting like she was going to pull her over the sofa.
"Ok, ok, I quit," Kelly laughed. "So that's a no on the movie?"
"Yea, that's a no, but thanks for asking. Did y'all ask Jill?"
"Jill's passed out. Apparently she doesn't get along with the sun too well."
"Look who's talking," Ashley reached back, touching her best friend's pink cheeks.
"Yea, but I put sun screen on; she didn't. She's like a lobster."
"Ouch," Ashley laughed.
"Hey," Kate bounced into the room, leaning over Kelly, resting her chin on her shoulder and placing a DVD in front of her face. "Got one."
"Good choice," Kelly nodded, taking the movie from her. "Last chance Ash...movie?"
"Y'all go ahead," Ashley waved them off. "I gotta catch up on my stories."
"You realize you sound like an eighty year old woman, right?" Kelly teased as Kate dragged her out of the room.
Ashley raised her hand, showing Kelly her middle finger.
Kelly laughed, calling out as Kate led her to the movie theater, "You're not my type!"
++++++++
"So..." Kelly walked into the miniature movie theater to find Kate seated on the sofa on the top level. "That's where you want to sit?"
Kate nodded smiling as Kelly walked up the stairs to join her, "It's all set up?"
"Yep," Kelly grabbed a blanket from the small chest next to the sofa. She sat in the corner of the sofa, stretching her legs out, her feet touching Kate's legs.
Kate looked at her, trying to decide the best way to get comfortable.
"Well...are you coming?" Kelly smiled, holding the blanket up for her.
Kate laughed softly, turning and scooting back so that she was sitting in between the Texan's legs.
Kelly covered them with the blanket as Kate rested her head on her shoulder, "Comfortable?"
"Yea," she nodded.
++++++++
Kelly swallowed hard as Kate's breath tickled the base of her neck. Her arms were wrapped loosely around the backup singer as one of Kate's hands rested on her upper arm, her thumb moving back and forth over her skin. Kate shifted in her arms, scooting up some. Kelly sat perfectly still at the feeling of her warm breath against the side of her neck. She watched as the couple onscreen kissed, finally getting back together as they always did at the end of every romantic comedy.
"Kelly?"
"Yes?"
"I have a question..."
Kelly felt herself relaxing a little, settling into familiar territory, "Sure, go ahead."
"What does it feel like to um..." her voice was soft. "What is it like to kiss a girl?"
Kelly bit her bottom lip hard to keep from groaning. She took a steadying breath, "Well, um, well you know the answer to that, I mean, Jill kissed you, remember?"
"That wasn't a real kiss," Kate replied. "Plus it happened so fast and we were both kinda drunk...I don't really remember it."
"Ok, well, um, the most obvious difference between kissing a guy and kissing a girl is the softness of it. Girls lips are so much softer...they feel really good against your own. And there's also something very...sensual about it. Well, obviously I think it's great," she gave a nervous laugh. "I mean, that's kinda one of the definitions of being gay, right? You like kissing girls more than you like kissing boys."
Kate laughed softly.
"Why'd you ask?" Kelly questioned as Kate's hand paused on her arm.
"I, um...I've kinda been thinking about that lately...a lot..." Kate admitted.
"Kissing girls?"
Kate nodded, wrapping her arms around her snuggling into her neck a little.
Kelly held her closer.
"What do you think that means?"
"That two of your closest friends are lesbians, and you can't help but be curious about it."
Kate nodded.
"Has that been worrying you?"
"Not worrying," she hugged her tightly. "Just kinda..."
"Nervous?"
"Yea."
"There's no need to be," Kelly assured. "Like I said, it doesn't have to mean anything. Jill and I are both crazy open about it around you not to mention the fact that I flirt with you shamelessly...it's a natural reaction for you to wonder about it if you're surrounded by it."
Kate nodded again.
"You ok?"
"Yea."
"Hey, if ever you need someone to talk to about stuff like this, I'm here, ok? I know you don't like talking to Jill because she asks too many questions, so I'm here for you if ever you need to talk about anything...you know that."
"Thank you," she smiled softly.
"And Kate..." Kelly began carefully. "If you start to think that it really does mean something, you know that's ok, right? I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. And I'm not just saying that for obvious reasons...it really is ok. Don't let anything make you think otherwise. Trust me, I've been through all that, and none of that is true...it is perfectly ok for you to feel however you feel about whomever you feel it about."
"You never talked about that before," Kate pointed out softly. "About how it was for you."
"You mean when I first started to realize?"
"Yea."
"It definitely wasn't a fun time for me," Kelly admitted.
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's ok," Kelly turned, kissing her forehead softly. "Once I finally admitted it to myself, I actually had it easier than most people. My friends and family have been very supportive for the most part."
"For the most part?"
"Not everybody is ok with it, but as I've learned, you can't make everybody happy."
Kate nodded, choosing to change the subject, feeling that now wasn't the time to push her about it, "So what time are we heading back to L.A. tomorrow?"
"The flight is at one I think. I was thinking of going back to the Guitar Center before then. There's a couple more things I need to pick up. You wanna come?"
"Yea, sure, it was fun there last time we went."
"Cool," Kelly sat up some, helping Kate up as well as the movie credits rolled on the large screen at the front of the room. "Ready to go see what we can scrounge up for dinner?"
"Definitely," Kate smiled as Kelly's fingers brushed against her cheek.
"And you're sure you're ok?"
"Yea," her smile softened. "Thanks for listening...and not making a big deal out of it. Jill would've freaked
on me."
"Anytime you need...I'm here," Kelly replied. "I sincerely mean that."
"Thank you," her eyes closed lightly as Kelly kissed her forehead again.
"You're welcome." Kelly tapped under her chin playfully, "Now let's go get something to eat, I'm starving."
"Yea, me too," Kate agreed, taking her hand as she stood, helping her up.
+++++++++
Kelly watched as Kate's eyes immediately went to the side display wall as the two of them along with
Ashley walked into the store. She laughed softly, noting the hot pink guitar still there. "Come on, our stuff's in the back," she took Kate's hand, tugging gently.
Kate nodded, allowing her to guide them to the back of the store.
"You know, you should just buy it," Kelly suggested as she signed off on the items she had ordered.
"Yes, because I can totally afford to throw away money like that."
"It's not throwing away money...you're a musician...it's part of your job."
Kate smiled, "I'm a singer, not a musician."
"You're a musician," Kelly replied. "I heard you messing around on the piano this morning."
"That's all it was--messing around."
"Yea, well, you should mess around more often because it sounded great," Kelly smiled as one of the workers came out of the back with several boxes.
"We came all the way over here for a couple wires?" Ashley asked reading the boxes.
"Well, we had the time, and I wasn't going to make them come all the way to the house for just a couple wires," Kelly explained. "Plus, I needed to pay, so why don't you take Kate back to the front and try and convince her that the guitar is totally worth the money, while I take care of this."
Kate laughed, shaking her head as she followed Ashley back to the front of the store.
"Ok, here's your total," the worker handed Kelly a receipt.
"Dang, it was that much for shipping?" Kelly raised an eyebrow, laughing.
"You needed it rushed," he reminded.
"Yea, we're leaving today," Kelly nodded, handing him her card. "Thank y'all so much for everything, by the way. The room came out so great."
"The guys had a blast setting it up," he smiled. "It's not often somebody comes in to buy an entire band."
"Well, they were a major help, so tell them all I said thank you again?"
"Yea, definitely. Y'all enjoy," he handed her her card back.
"I'm sure we'll be back. We'll find something else we need," she laughed, giving a soft wave before walking back to the front of the store. She walked up behind Kate, stretching up on her toes to be able to rest her chin on her shoulder. "You know...I would love to buy that guitar for you."
Kate smiled, reaching up to touch her cheek, "And you know I'm not gonna let you."
Kelly sighed as she moved to stand beside her, "What's the point of having money if you can't buy stuff for your friends?"
Kate laughed softly, "I think the point is to be able to buy stuff for yourself."
"That isn't nearly as fun," she scrunched her nose.
Kate shook her head, linking their arms together.
"Where's Ashley?"
"Outside talking to this guy with a mohawk..."
"I swear, I will never understand that girl's taste. It is so damn random," Kelly laughed as they walked out of the store.
+++++++++++
"He was so cute," Ashley insisted.
"How was he cute?" Kelly asked as they walked into the house.
"Well, naturally you didn't think he was cute. He didn't have boobs."
Kelly laughed, "I do still think some guys are cute, loser."
"Oh, hunny face it, you can't pull off the bi thing either. You're gay, deal with it."
"Well, I didn't think he was cute," Kate commented.
"See? And she totally likes guys," Kelly pointed out.
"Since when?" Ashley rolled her eyes. "I mean, unless you had a sex change operation that I didn't know
about or something?"
"Ash..." Kelly fussed as Kate blushed.
"Just saying," Ashley mumbled, walking to her room.
"What's her problem?" Kelly wondered out loud.
"It's ok," Kate replied softly. "She was just teasing...you two do it to each other all the time."
"That was more than teasing," Kelly frowned. "And I'm sorry."
"It's ok," Kate assured, rubbing her arm. "How about we go pack everything and get ready for the flight?"
Kelly nodded, "You go ahead, I'll be there in a sec."
Kate gave her arm a gentle squeeze before heading towards the stairs.
Kelly chewed on her bottom lip as she walked towards her Ashley's room. She knocked on the door before walking in, closing the door behind her. "Hey."
"Hey," Ashley replied as she got packed a small bag for the flight.
"So...you wanna tell me what's going on?"
"With?"
"Ash, you know that wasn't fair."
"It was a joke, Kelly."
"You don't know what it's like, ok? It's not...when you're questioning things...it's not easy, ok?" she sat down on her bed.
Ashley softened at the look on her best friend's face, "I'm sorry."
"You just...being harsh with me is one thing. I'm used to it. I'm just as sarcastic as you, but when I was questioning things the jokes sucked so bad, so for her, if she is...she's not as blunt or as sarcastic as us. She's not used to that, so if it was hard for me to deal with jokes, imagine how hard it would be for her."
Ashley nodded, sitting beside her, "I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I just...I want her to open her eyes."
"Maybe there's nothing for her to open her eyes to."
"If you really believe that, then you are in worse denial than she is."
Kelly laughed softly.
"I don't mean to be harsh with her," Ashley explained. "I just want her to open her eyes and realize what a great thing she has with you and how lucky she is."
Kelly rested her head on her shoulder.
Ashley squeezed her knee gently.
"Do you really think she could like me?"
"I think she already does," Ashley replied honestly. "She just doesn't know how to process that yet. But that's not the important question."
"It's not?"
"No."
"Then what is?"
"What are you going to do when she finally processes it?"
Kelly's brow furrowed, "I can't let anything happen."
"It's a bit late for that."
Kelly stood up, shaking her head.
"You are so damn stubborn, you know that?"
"I'm just trying to protect myself and my job."
"Chicken."
"Bitch."
Ashley smiled.
Kelly blushed, "Sorry."
"Hey, it's nice to see there is still some fight in you. Maybe you should start using that instead of just rolling over when things get tricky."
"I don't just roll over."
"You do. You can't tell me that you sat in a dark room for two hours by yourselves watching a romantic movie and there wasn't one opportunity for you to kiss the girl."
"Nothing can happen."
"Are you not listening? It's too late for that, Kelly."
"No, it's not."
"Yes, it is," Ashley insisted. "She has feelings for you. You're a girl, and she has feelings for you. Are you telling me you're going to keep her at arms length because you're her 'boss'? You're the first girl she's had feelings for. It's gonna be hard enough for her to deal with that, but then to have to deal with you turning her down? You care about her way too much to hurt her like that."
Kelly's eyes fell.
"I'm right, and you know it, and the sooner you deal with it and get over this fear you have the better off everyone will be."
"I'm not afraid."
"Yes you are. This whole 'I'm her boss' bull shit is just a mask for your fear. You're terrified of the fact that you like her because she's 'straight'. Well, news flash, the girl is falling for you hard, so there is nothing for you to be afraid of."
"And what happens when she freaks out?"
"You don't know that she will."
Kelly sighed, running a hand through her hair.
Ashley stood, standing before her, "Look, I know this is a crazy ass position you're in, but in all honesty, you're making it even harder on yourself. You've gotta stop fighting this, ok?"
"I just don't want to push her."
"Ever think maybe what she needs is for you to push her?"
"I don't know, Ash..." she shook her head.
"Ok, you don't have to push her, just don't fight it when it finally happens, ok? At least promise me that?"
"Ok," she nodded.
"Good," Ashley smiled, kissing the top of her head. "Now get outta here so I can finish packing."
Kelly laughed softly, "You're such a bitch."
"And you love me for it."
"I do," Kelly grinned. "I'm starting to think I'm a masochist or something."
++++++++
"I don't know who Meghan is, but she is so my favorite person right now," Jason nodded as they all walked into Jill and Kate's L.A. apartment, the smell of food hitting them hard.
"Hey guys," Meghan smiled as they walked into the kitchen.
"Thanks so much for this," Kelly replied, giving her a quick hug before introducing her to Jason. "Meghan, this is my brother Jay."
"Nice to meet you," she smiled, shaking his hand before turning to Jill and giving her a quick kiss.
Jason raised an eyebrow, smiling.
Kelly swatted his shoulder, "Go set the table."
"I don't know where the dishes are?" he held up a hand in defense.
"Come on," Kate laughed softly, guiding him to the cabinets.
"So, seriously, thank you," Kelly turned back to Meghan.
"I figured y'all would be hungry after the flight," she shrugged. "And I wanted to say thanks for having me over the other week. It was a lot of fun."
"And..." Kelly looked at her hopefully.
"It's in her room," Meghan nodded, smiling.
"Thank you," Kelly grinned before walking over to Kate and taking her hand. "Come with me," she whispered in her ear.
Kate handed the plates in her hands to Jason, shrugging as he gave them a confused look. She let Kelly pull her out of the kitchen and down the hall to her bedroom.
"Ok, you gotta close your eyes," Kelly instructed.
"Kelly...what's going on?"
"Just do it," Kelly smiled.
"Alright..." Kate closed her eyes.
Kelly bit her lip nervously as she opened the bedroom door, leading Kate inside as she closed the door behind them. She guided her to the bed, helping her sit down.
"Kelly?" Kate questioned when she let go of her hand. She felt the Texan hopping onto the bed, climbing behind her.
"No worries. I'm here. Ok, hold out your hands. Like this..." Kelly adjusted her hands so that they were palm up. "Ok..."
Kate felt something rather large being placed in her lap. Her left hand closed around one end, while Kelly brought her right hand to the other end, strumming her fingers across the strings.
"Open your eyes," Kelly smiled, looking over the backup singer's shoulder.
Kate opened her eyes, her jaw dropping at the hot pink guitar in her lap, "Oh my God..."
"Pretty cool, right?" Kelly grinned.
"Oh my God..." Kate repeated. "Kelly..."
"Do you like it?" Kelly asked as Kate stood, turning to face her with the guitar in her hands.
"Like it? I...I love it. It's perfect. How did you...we were just at the store this morning, how did you get it here?"
"I know people," she shrugged, her grin growing at the sparkle in Kate's eyes. "You really like it?"
"Oh my God, yes," Kate nodded, stepping to her. She pressed her lips against her forehead, "Thank you so much."
"I was afraid you'd be mad," Kelly admitted as Kate sat back down in front of her. She let her legs hang over the edge of the bed on either side of the blonde's.
"Why would I be mad?" Kate asked, playing a chord.
"You told me not to buy it."
"I just don't want to take advantage of you, you know?"
"I know, but I really wanted to get this for you."
"I know," Kate nodded, turning to kiss her cheek. "Thank you. This is seriously the coolest thing ever."
"I'm glad you like it."
Kate shook her head, placing the guitar carefully to the side, "Seriously, I love it."
Kelly giggled as Kate hugged her tightly.
"You are so far beyond amazing, it's ridiculous," Kate cradled her cheek as she pulled back.
Kelly laughed, "I wouldn't go that far."
"I would."
"You just have a really beautiful smile," Kelly shrugged. "I like doing things that let me see it."
Kate blushed lightly.
Kelly smiled, taking her hands in her own, "So you're happy?"
"Like ecstatic," she nodded.
"Good," Kelly's smile grew as she jumped off the bed. "Let's go get something to eat."
"Wait..." Kate, held onto her hand firmly, stopping her from walking out of the room.
"What?"
"I just..." she bit her lip nervously before pulling Kelly into another tight hug. "Thank you. It was seriously the sweetest thing ever."
"Well, trust me, I'm thrilled that you like it," Kelly rubbed her back as she pulled away.
"I've never had somebody get me a gift for no reason before," Kate admitted, glancing at the guitar excitedly.
"Well...I think you are pretty damn special, so that seemed like a good enough reason for me."
Kate shifted, a huge grin on her face as she glanced at the guitar again.
"Go ahead..." Kelly laughed.
Kate threw her arms back around her, letting out an excited squeal.
Kelly winced, but hugged her back tightly.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Kate bounced excitedly.
Kelly laughed.
"Can I play it now?" Kate asked, taking a step back.
"We should probably eat first..."
"Will you stay after so you can help me?"
"You're better at playing it than I am," Kelly reminded.
"I've never played electric guitar."
"Jill's way better than me, though."
"I know, but...you got it for me, so I thought that maybe it was something we can do together?"
"Yea?"
"I think it would be fun," she nodded, looking at her nervously.
"Alright," Kelly agreed with a smile. "Yea, I'll definitely stay."
"Cool," Kate grinned.
"Cool," Kelly laughed softly. "Now, how about we go eat, and I'll show you some of my kick ass guitar skills after?"
"Deal," Kate giggled, taking the hand that Kelly offered and following her out of the room.
++++++++
Kate strummed the guitar, "My name is Kate...I think this guitar is really great...I love staying up late...I have to thank Meghan for what I ate...because it was good..."
Kelly laughed loudly, rocking back on the bed as she sat across from Kate.
"I was trying something new with the end there," Kate smiled.
"I noticed. You took a risk...I liked it."
Kate laughed.
"Well, Kate Rapier, you just wrote your very first song on electric guitar, how do you feel?" Kelly held her fist out like a microphone.
"I feel good. I definitely see a Grammy in the near future."
"And with those amazing of lyrics, why wouldn't you?" Kelly giggled.
Both girls turned at a knock on the door.
Jill stuck her head in the room, "Ok you crazy kids. That's enough guitar for tonight. Kelly's got an interview in the morning, and Ashley said she needs to get a good nights sleep."
"Tell her I'll be there in a sec," Kelly nodded.
"She and Jason left about an hour ago," Jill shook her head.
"Without telling me?"
"You two sounded like you were having fun," Jill shrugged. "She said she'll come pick you up in the morning."
"Well," Kelly turned to Kate. "Looks like your stuck with me."
"Ew," Kate made a face before breaking into giggles.
"Lights out in ten minutes," Jill replied, closing the door.
Kelly and Kate fell back onto the bed laughing.
Kelly reached out, taking the guitar from Kate and placed it beside the bed carefully before pulling Kate to her side, "I can't remember the last time I laughed this much."
"My side hurts," Kate nodded, catching her breath.
Kelly poked her side playfully.
"Hey," Kate laughed, batting her hand away. "Not nice."
Kelly giggled as she stared up at the ceiling.
Kate scooted closer to her, "So..."
"Question?"
"Yep."
"Go ahead."
"You talked about Michelle and Jenn, but we didn't really talk about the first girl you dated," she turned onto her side to be able to look at her.
Kelly nodded, "That's because in order to understand that, you kind of have to go back to the guys I dated."
"Why? Was she manly or something?"
"No," Kelly laughed. "It just...well, it's like a story. You can't fully understand one chapter without reading the one before it, right?"
Kate smiled.
"What?"
"I like when you talk."
"I talk a lot."
"I know, it's nice."
Kelly shook her head, "You're strange, you know that?"
"I guess I could be called worse," she laughed softly, draping her arm over the Texan's stomach. "So what's
the story with the guys you dated, then?"
"You want me to concentrate on all the losers I dated when I have this amazing girl right next to me?"
Kate blushed, "How do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Say stuff like that with a straight face."
"It's the truth," she shrugged, running her hand along Kate's arm.
Kate laid down, resting in the crook of her neck.
Kelly wrapped her other arm around her, holding her to her side, "So...I dated David first. Everybody who's heard the songs pretty much knows the story with that one. We were just working together and spent a lot of time together, and I guess it just seemed like the right thing to do so we dated. More than anything, though, we were just good friends that happened to make out on occasion. Should've known something was off with the fact that he seemed just as uninterested in kissing me as I did him. Anyways, that ended horribly which I made sure the entire world knew by writing a shit load of songs about it," she laughed.
"You didn't want to kiss him?"
"I wasn't that attracted to him."
"Then why'd you date him?"
"Well, I didn't know at the time that I wasn't really attracted to him. I just...I assumed that's how it was."
Kate nodded.
"So after that...that's when I first started to question things."
"What made you?"
"I don't know...stuff people said. I was spending a lot of time here in L.A. for that album, and Ashley and I started making new friends. It's L.A. so naturally all my guy friends were gay. We'd go out with them sometimes, and I don't know...I was never really around it a lot growing up, so it's kind of like I never really thought about it, I guess. Like I keep saying, I just assumed that's how it was. But gay guys are gay guys, and they wouldn't be themselves if they didn't love to call people out."
"They called you out?"
"It was always jokingly, but it made me start to think."
"And what did you think about?"
"The fact that I could name way more woman that I find attractive than men."
"What did you do about it?"
"I freaked the fuck out."
Kate giggled.
Kelly smiled, "I did. I freaked. I mean, I like boys, remember? I couldn't possibly be gay. So, I tried to prove that to myself and to everyone else. That's when I started to date Graham."
"The opening act?"
"Yep. He is seriously such a sweet guy, and I still feel so bad about the way I used him like that. I just...I convinced myself that maybe if we just kissed more then that would make the thoughts go away."
"And that didn't work?"
"No, so it turned into, maybe if we just had sex. I mean, I was a virgin, so that had to be it, right? So we did, and then I did what any normal 23 year old would do after losing their virginity--I called my mother, bawling about how bad it was."
Kate snorted, trying to hold back her laughter.
"It's ok, you can laugh," Kelly assured.
"What did she say?"
"Hunny, now don't you worry. The first time is never at all romantic and perfect like it is in the movies," Kelly did her best impersonation of her mother, earning another laugh from Kate. "Then she went on for about half an hour, making sure we were being safe and using every protection possible."
"I like your mom. She seems cool."
"She is," Kelly agreed. "She's pretty amazing, actually. We've always been more like sisters than mother-daughter. But yea, I listened to my mom's advice and I kept trying, thinking that it would get better--it didn't."
"It was bad?"
"It wasn't...I don't want to say it was bad. It was just kinda...when my friends would talk about sex and how great it was and how hot it was or whatever, I had no clue what they were talking about. There was just no spark there between us...for me at least. Poor Graham, that's one of the things that I feel the worst about is leading him on like that."
"Did he love you?"
Kelly nodded, "And I kinda knew he did before he even said it, so I threw myself into my work, blaming that for not being able to spend a lot of time with him. He could sense something was wrong, obviously. He told me he loved me, and I broke up with him two days later."
"Where was your head at?"
"I just...I liked girls, and no amount of distracting myself with a guy would change that."
"Did that freak you out even more?"
"Um, no, actually. What freaked me out was the thought of having to tell people, and the thought that I had no idea what to do."
"What do you mean?"
"I never dated a girl before. I didn't even know how to go about finding a girl, let alone what I had to do once I was with her. Plus the fact of who I am, and that I couldn't just go out to a gay bar and make out with every hot girl I saw."
"Isn't that what you did, though?"
Kelly laughed, "Not quite. It wasn't a gay bar, and it wasn't every girl. I was wasted, and I went home with this one girl. This was barely over a week after Graham and I broke up."
"Did she know who you were?"
"At the time? No. I did find out though that I had nothing to worry about when it came to what I had to do because kissing a girl is just like kissing a guy, technique wise, anyway."
"And the sex part?"
"Totally don't remember that night, so I was still at a loss for that," she admitted. "I bolted the next morning before she had time to realize who I was. I freaked about that. I didn't have anybody to talk to about it because I hadn't told anybody."
"Was it hard? Carrying that around by yourself?"
"Yea, even after I told a couple people it was still hard. That's one of the things that caught up with me last summer," she confessed. "It's one thing to be someone you're not around complete strangers, but to feel like you can't be who you really are around your best friends...that's the worst. I knew I had to change something. I told my band right after the Addicted Tour ended. That's helped so much."
"And what happened to the girl?"
"The girl realized who I was, and she managed to find me like a couple weeks later. I was scared to death that she would like out me or something, but that's not what she wanted."
"What did she want?"
"To date."
"So you dated?"
"So we dated," Kelly nodded. "And I found out that sex really can be hot if it's with someone you're actually attracted to."
"So what happened?"
"She wasn't very patient with me."
"With sex?"
"Well, yea, that, I mean, I learned more in the two times I slept with Michelle than in the like three weeks I spent with Claire where pretty much all we did was have sex."
"Claire?" Kate scrunched her face.
"Yea."
"I don't like that name."
"No?"
"It's just kinda...it seems harsh."
Kelly laughed, "Yea, I guess so. But yea, no, it wasn't just sex, it was everything. Everything always had to be about her, and with my job that's just not possible, even if I were with the love of my life, which I wasn't. I was with this girl I started dating mainly because I was afraid she would out me to the world if I didn't...and she was hot."
"Which helps."
"Yea. But we ended up breaking up because it just wasn't working out."
"Because of the no patience thing?"
"Because I walked in on her in bed with another girl and a guy."
"At the same time?"
"Yep."
"Ah..."
"Yea," she laughed. "Fun stuff."
"So you realized you need someone patient."
"You think I need someone patient or just someone more patient than her?"
"Patient...why? Am I wrong?"
"I didn't say that," Kelly smiled as Kate looked up at her. "I'm just curious as to what you think."
"I think you need someone patient," Kate nodded. "And not just because of your job--"
"Or the sex thing. I didn't mean for it to sound like I was some lame ass in bed earlier."
"I know," Kate laughed. "I have all the faith in the world in your ability in bed."
"You've thought about me in bed?" Kelly raised her eyebrow.
"I didn't say that," Kate blushed. "Now, back to patience...yes, I do think you need someone patient. I mean, you're very up and down...which isn't a bad thing, I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that can be tough for some people to deal with."
"But not you?"
"I like that you're so emotional. It's nice to be around someone that cares so much about life," she shrugged. "And also, you have a lot of energy, and someone definitely needs to have patience to be able to deal with that. Like if the other person may have something to say, but you're just rambling away a hundred miles an hour...that takes patience. Or if they're trying to do something, and you're bouncing off the walls like a five year old...patience."
"You love my five year old self, though."
"I do," she nodded. "It's nice to be around someone with more energy than me so for once I'm not the one having to slow down for them."
Kelly smiled, "Well, you're right, I do need someone with patience. I realized that which is why I dated Michelle. She was such a sweet girl and so patient with me, we were just missing the fire, you know?"
"So you had the fire, but the girl was a bitch, then you had the perfect girl but no fire. So all you have to do now is combine the two."
"Which I did with Jenn. It was just the wrong two."
"So instead of the perfect girl with spark, you got a bitch with no passion."
"Exactly," she nodded, laughing.
Kate smiled, wrapping her arm around her stomach tighter as she snuggled into her neck some, "So, that means the next girl is bound to be the love of your life, right?"
"Looks like it."
"Lucky girl," her eyes closed as Kelly ran a slow hand up and down her back.
"Lucky me," Kelly corrected, kissing the top of her head. "How about we get some sleep, ok? I don't want Ash bitching at me tomorrow for staying up too late."
"Ok," Kate yawned as Kelly scooted them further up the bed, pulling the blankets around them.
"Comfortable?"
"Mmhmm."
"You totally think about me in bed," Kelly grinned.
Kate groaned, burying her face in her neck.
Kelly laughed, "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Kate couldn't help but smile, squeezing her gently.
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Road Signs and Rock Songs