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Tainted Love	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3468 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Marilyn Manson or anything affiliated with him or the band. I don't know any of these famous people in real life and none of this story happened. This is fiction and just for fun. I make no profit from this.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
- 28
Author’s Note: ‘From this night forth, we shall be as one. For that is mine, will be yours. Kneel before your master!’ - Radu (Subspecies)

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Slipping
    Manson awoke in a strange room with a throbbing headache. Groaning gruffly as he sat up and cradled his head in his hands, the singer’s memories gradually came back to him. He had stormed off into the city to find a hooker to vent his emotional as well as sexual frustration on and had brought her back to his hotel for the night. The rest was a blur of sex and alcohol and ending with her bound to the bed beneath her as he called her Raven’s name. Then he had awoken alone, immediately trying to call the absent Raven in a mixture of confusion and outright panic. Finally he had ended up at Johnny’s suite and had blurted some unpleasant things while in a drunken state.
    Letting loose a shaky sigh at the unwelcome memories, the rock star slowly got to his feet and painfully got dressed. His head throbbed like a rotten tooth as he moved, making him feel nauseous and irritated but mostly he just felt sick in his heart. Whatever was happening to him was just getting worse and right now he wanted be as far away from Raven as he could possibly get. He had no clue just what he would do or say in his current state, Dita sitting in the back of his mind like a malevolent viper.
    Once the singer had gotten dressed, he cautiously opened the door and peeked his head out before heading into the main room of the suite. He got no more than a few steps before he heard the sound of a throat being cleared nervously. Freezing in place, Manson turned to face the couch only to tense up when he saw Raven staring at him over the back of the couch. “Raven,” he gasped out, sounding as if he had just gotten socked in the gut.
    “Mare, I... I wanted to apologize to you,” she whispered in response, dark, bruise-like circles surrounding her haunted looking hazel eyes. It looked like she hadn’t slept a wink all night.
    “Wh-what could you possibly have to apologize for? I was the one who came in here drunk and proceeded to berate you for something that isn’t your fault,” Manson replied, sounding both shocked and slightly exasperated. The timid female only hung her head in response, her ebony hair hiding her expression.
    “For not being able to... to give you what you so obviously need from me. For what I seem to be doing to your sanity because of my inability to move past my problems,” Raven replied quietly, avoiding his gaze as her breath hitched in her throat. In a flash Manson was there, holding her as tight as he could with the couch in the way.
    “Manson, wha?” she gasped out, confusion in her tear choked voice as she tried to pull back enough to look him in the eyes.
    “Shut up,” the performer hissed gruffly, his arms tightening on her a little as he began to tremble slightly.
    “You have nothing to apologize for. Absolutely nothing, you understand me? This is my own fault, not yours. I’ve been allowing Dita to get in my head lately and I haven’t been treating you right because of that. I’m the one who should apologize,” he growled out before Raven could utter a word, his voice thick with his own tears.
    “But...,” the now sobbing woman tried to protest weakly, only to earn another slight tightening of his arms around her.
    “No. No Raven,” he hissed, his voice shaking as he pulled back to claim her lips with his.
    Raven could only stare up at him in astonishment, jumping slightly when two drops of slightly warm moisture hit her cheeks. Realizing it was Manson’s tears hitting her skin, the female let out a soft gasp and wrapped her arms around his pale neck. This action seemed to galvanize the singer because she felt his grip on her tighten even more and his tongue lap insistently on her lips. Moving her hands to rest behind his head and entwining her finger in his ebony hair, Raven closed her eyes and opened to him.
    Manson responded immediately, his tongue entering her mouth surprisingly gently and his own hands coming up to cradle Raven’s head in return. His heart swelled with guilt, love, protectiveness and he made sure Raven felt that in his kiss. He was gratified when she groaned softly, her tears from before quickly disappearing; much to the singer’s relief. Sighing softly, the rock star broke the kiss to look in his girlfriend’s eyes. “I’m so sorry Raven, for everything,” Manson rumbled softly, reaching up to cup the female’s soft cheek.
    “You deserve so much more than I can give you but I just don’t have the courage to do the right thing,” he continued quietly, tears beginning to trail down his make-up free cheeks.
    “What do you mean ‘the right thing’?” the now shaking woman asked in a quavering voice, looking up at the rock god with frightened eyes. Her heart thudded in her chest at the implications of his words. Sure she had been thinking about letting him go last night but now just the thought of it filled her with fear.
    “Breaking up with you so I can’t cause you any more pain. I know I should, I know it’s the best thing I can do for you but I just can’t. I can’t bear the thought of not waking up with you to greet me, of not being able to hold you in my arms or kiss your sweet lips,” Manson hissed in an unsteady voice, tears flowing freely as he rested his forehead against hers.
    “All I can do is bring you pain Raven but, heaven help me, I love you too much to leave you,” he finished with a snarl, enveloping her in a tight embrace and taking her lips in a passion filled, possessive kiss. A kiss that almost felt as if he was afraid she would simply evaporate out of his arms.
    All Raven could do was cry silently in relief, tightening the grip she still had on the back of his head to keep his mouth against hers. She returned the aggressiveness of his kiss with her own, her tongue fighting with his for dominance as she growled into his mouth. She let her fear, love and desperation pour through their kiss, drawing a soft growl from Manson as he moved his hands to rest on her back. They only broke their embrace when a clearing throat snapped the quiet like a spider thread. “I see you two have made up but before you run off, I’d like a word with you Brian,” came a deep, angry male voice from the hallway behind Raven.
    Turning slightly to look at the speaker, the black haired woman’s eyes widened slightly to see Johnny glaring at Manson with rage in his dark brown eyes. She was about to ask the actor what was going on when she felt the singer’s arms loosen around her. “Alright Johnny. I’ll be back in a bit Raven. Try to have some breakfast while I’m gone,” Manson murmured softly, releasing her slowly and walking around her to follow the star back towards the bedrooms. Sighing softly, the female only rolled her hazel eyes and went into the kitchen to make herself some food. She had a suspicion about just what Johnny was going to talk to the super star about and she just wanted to take her mind off it.
    As soon as the Antichrist Superstar was in the room, Johnny closed the door and glared heatedly. “Just what the fuck is going on with you Brian! I know you’ve had issues in past relationships but I’ve never seen you act like this! Do you realize just how much your behavior is hurting Raven? Let alone what trust she has in you? You say you want her to sleep with you, well this isn’t the way to go about it!” the movie star snarled, gesturing violently with his arms as his brown eyes almost turned black from his anger.
    “You think I’m blind to all of that! Fuck, Johnny! Seeing Dita at that concert, it fucked me up worse than I could have imagined. She’s in my head, whispering all kinds of little lies about Raven or reminding me about my past relationship failures. I can’t stop it! No matter how hard I try, I can’t fucking stop it!” Manson hissed, running a shaky, black nailed hand through his shoulder length hair. His mismatched eyes shone with self loathing, desperation and a stark fear that took the actor’s breath away.
    “Brian, you need to try to let that go. You need to try to let what Dita was to you go. That’s the only reason she still has any power over your thoughts,” Johnny whispered, his rage fading for concern as he placed a hand on the singer’s shaking shoulder. He still felt anger for what his friend had recently put Raven through but seeing the rock star so shaken made him feel the urge to comfort.
    “Easier said than done man. Dita meant more to me than any of the others, with the exception of Melinda. She was the only one who held my heart in her hands, who I had let in even a little. For years my entire world was hinged on what she would want me to do but nothing I did was ever good enough. She wanted me to change who I was, wanted me to stop partying; wanted me to be the perfect boyfriend,” the performer continued, sounding more and more haunted as he went on. He had even begun to pace unconsciously, as if just talking about this caused him a great deal of pain.
    “Surely you know that Raven isn’t like that! And even if it is Dita’s voice, it’s really just your own reflecting your insecurities back at you. You can’t keep letting your past rule you, neither of you!” Johnny replied a bit heatedly, moving in front of the pacing singer, grasping his black clad arms and giving him a shake.
    “I know that! But that doesn’t stop some of what that voice is saying from making sense! It gets under my skin and festers there until the lie she, no, it planted becomes the only thing I can see,” the tortured male groaned, burying his face in his hands as his whole body began to shake.
    “I can’t lose her but I can’t fucking block that voice out, no matter how hard I try!” he snarled, beginning to sob harshly from frustration and fear.
    The first thing Ginger became aware of was a much smaller form curled up against his side. The next thing he became aware of was a leering keyboardist’s face bare inches from his own. “Morning Pogo,” the drummer groaned quietly, shifting slightly to get a look at his secondary companion. To his surprise and embarrassment, he saw Amanda nestled up to him with an arm thrown across his stomach.
    “Looks like you had a good night,” the mohawked keyboardist teased quietly, squatting over Ginger and leaning so close their noses touched. His usual insane grin curled his red lips as his brown eyes sparkled with inner mirth.
    “Ugh, good to see you too Madonna,” came a sleepy, grumpy female voice, startling both men and causing both to jolt in unison as they both turned their heads to look at the semi-conscious female. Amanda’s green eyes met theirs steadily, a vaguely annoyed look on her pale face as she moved to sit up.
    “For the record, nothing happened. I just... got lonely without Raven in the house. I even knocked on the door and you told me I could sleep in here, remember?” she grumbled in a groggy voice as she limply whacked Pogo’s black shirt covered chest. Next to her, Ginger released a sigh of relief as her words made his memory come back.
    He had been in a deep sleep when a timid knock came from his door. “Mmf, who is it?” he murmured, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
    “A-amanda,” came a shy sounding, quiet female voice from the other side, just as he opened his mouth to yawn. The sound of her voice made a dim jolt of concern go through his mostly asleep body, causing the drummer to get to his bare feet and moved like a zombie to his door.
    Amanda fiddled with the hem of her Superman pajama shirt, her normally calm eyes wide and scared as she stared down the dark hallway to her right. She wasn’t used to being alone and the sounds of the house were beginning to frighten her. As the door began to swing open, the young woman began to feel ridiculous in her superhero themed pajamas but all that went away as soon as she saw Ginger looking down at her with only concern for her well being. He didn’t even seem to notice her blue, symbol emblazoned attire, merely moving out of the way enough to allow her to enter. “Mandy? You okay?” the blonde asked in a sleepy voice, looking as if he was about to pass out on his feet.
    “Y-yeah, just a bit freaked out by the house being so empty. I’m used to having Raven around and, as much as I hate to admit it, having you guys around have made it even more like a home. Having the place so quiet is sorta freaky,” she confessed shyly, avoiding his tired gaze and rubbing her pale arm nervously.
    Instead of responding verbally, Ginger merely moved to his bed and motioned for her to sit beside him. It was at that moment that Amanda realized that he was shirtless and wearing a pair of black pajama pants. Her green eyes roved over his thin frame almost hungrily, her tongue coming out to briefly wet her lips as desire began to burn within her. Shaking herself slightly, the curly haired female sat next to the ghostly pale drummer and nestled into his side with a sigh.
    Smiling down at her lovingly, the pale musician laid down; pulling her with him and securing her against his side. Then his hand began moving over the silky skin of her arm, causing her breath to hitch in her throat and a shudder to run through her body. “You can sleep with me tonight,” he yawned, dozing off as soon as the words finished leaving his lips. As light snores began to leave the sleeping male, Amanda watched him with a small smile. After a few moments she dozed off herself, flinging an arm over Ginger’s torso and nuzzling his side.
    A half sane titter broke Ginger’s reverie like a soap bubble and he sighed as Pogo hopped off the bed. “See ya guys downstairs! Twigs made some pancakes so you better hurry,” the keyboardist giggled, waving with his fingers as he danced out of the room. Before Amanda could fully process what was said, her male companion was out of bed and pulling her to her feet.
    “Come on! You really don’t wanna miss out on Jeordie’s pancakes,” the drummer explained eagerly, dragging the bewildered female behind him.
    They came into the kitchen to see something that almost made Amanda burst into laughter. Jeordie stood before the stove, dressed in a pink dress reminiscent of a 50’s housewife’s dress and wearing a frilly white apron tied around his thin waist. Even his dreadlocks were tied back in a ponytail and light make-up adorned his eyes and cheeks. As soon as the ex-guitarist caught sight of the pair, a large grin broke over his dark skinned face. “Mornin’ love birds! Take a seat! I just made a fresh batch since this bunch eats them as fast as I can make em,” Twiggy chuckled, motioning to two empty spots at the kitchen table.
The other three band members sat at the table with empty plates and were staring at the fresh batch Jeordie was bringing to the table like a pack of ravenous hounds. In a flash, Ginger was pulling her to the table and helping her into a seat before he sat down as well. Smiling down at the pair kindly, the dress wearing male dished out a portion for each while giving the others a sharp glare. “You leave those two alone while they eat! You’ve had twenty pancakes each!” he bit out, waving his spatula at the nearly drooling three.
    “Aw Twiggy, it’s not our fault that’s it’s been so long since we’ve had your pancakes! You always make the best ones!” Pogo whined, giving the ex-band member his best puppy eyes. The former musician only rolled his brown eyes in response before grinning very slightly at the other two men who were sitting on either side of the mohawked keyboardist. They were also giving him rather large puppy dog eyes, Tim even quivering his lower lip a bit for emphasis.
    “Alright, I’ll make you guys one more batch if you promise to leave those two alone. No begging them for their pancakes,” Twiggy finally conceded, wielding his spatula like a sword; pointing the flat end at the trio before he turned and went back to the stove.
    Amanda could only look at the group of men with a mixture of confusion and bewilderment. What on Earth about these pancakes made the other three look at her and Ginger with so much envy? Watching the group of three who were eyeing her with overt jealousy, the curly haired female cut into the pile of three pancakes and took a bite. The instant the fluffy substance touched her tongue, her eyes went wide as it seemed her mouth had been filled with a rainbow and an angel chorus began to sing in her mind. Jeordie had filled the pancakes with chocolate chips and a bit of cinnamon! Making a noise of happiness, Amanda tore into her stack like a ravenous animal while the three across from them watched with envy and Ginger chuckled at her.
    The drummer smiled down at the female beside him, amusement sparkling in his brown eyes. “I told you they were good,” he chuckled before he began to eat his own stack of pancakes. While they were eating, Twiggy was busy making pancakes and whistling to himself. A smile quirked his lips as he stirred the batter and poured some into a pan. As much as he and the others teased Ginger, they were genuinely glad to see him so content. If Manson could just get his shit together, everything would be ideal. Sighing to himself, the ex-musician merely flipped over the pancake. Unfortunately the chances of things turning into shit were much better than a peaceful resolution.
    It was after the last batch of pancakes had been finished and Jeordie had sat down with the others to eat that a knock came from the front door. Amanda, who had finished her pancakes and was sipping her coffee, tilted her head in confusion as she got to her feet. “That’s odd. We aren’t expecting any company,” she murmured to herself as she moved toward the door. Ginger, who was finishing his last bites, was on his feet and following her; a concerned look on his face. With what had happened to Raven, the drummer found himself ill at ease about any unexpected callers at the door.
    As Amanda got closer to the closed portal, she found herself grateful that Ginger was behind her. It could be a package she had forgotten about but the events of yesterday made her cautious. Before she opened the door she glanced over her shoulder to make sure the drummer was right behind her. The bleach blonde, who had been staring at the door with apprehension, gave the curly haired female a nod as he stepped up right behind her to give her support. Smiling at the musician and taking in a deep breath, the nervous female slowly opened the door; letting out a breathless gasp at who she saw there. “M-miah?!” she uttered in a shocked voice, fear filling her eyes as she took in the visitor before her.
    Raven stared at the black jeans clothing her legs, her pale hands clenched into shaking fists on her thighs as her heart thudded in her chest. The two of them had been back there for a very long time, making her nervous about what they could be talking about. Could Johnny be trying to talk Manson into leaving her for her own good? As soon as the thought crossed her mind she wanted to slap herself for even thinking it. The actor was her friend and as much as he was worried about how Manson had been treating her, she knew he would never try to drive a wedge between them on purpose.
    Letting loose a shaky sigh, the pale female leaned her head back on the back of the couch; closing her eyes as she tried to force herself to relax. Despite what she had been pondering earlier, the thought of the singer leaving her made her heart ache in her chest as if clamped in a tight vise. Even though they had only known each other a month and had only spent a little of that time actually together, Manson was now as much a part of her as her own arms. Shaking her head and letting loose another sigh, she found herself wondering how well she would handle it if Manson did leave.
    A pair of hands on her shoulders as well as a brief brush of lips on her temple interrupted her distressed thoughts and Raven turned to see Manson staring down at her with guilt, concern and a deep love. “I’m sorry for putting you through all this Raven. I promise I’ll try to be better,” he murmured in a gruff, throaty voice as his mismatched eyes met hers steadily. Raven only smiled softly in return, covering one of his hands with her own.
    “You had better be because if you break this woman’s heart I will make it my personal mission to make your life Hell,” came a half-heartedly angry sounding male voice from the hall. Raven whipped her head to the left to see Johnny standing there, an exhausted look on his goateed face and a faint look of fear in his nearly black eyes.
    Before Raven could even begin to respond, Manson was gently pulling her head back to face him; his heterochromic eyes burning into hers as he planted a brief, loving kiss on her lips. “Let’s go home Raven, I can’t stand to spend another night away from you right now,” he murmured in a half pleading voice as he cupped her face and brushed her cheek with a calloused thumb. The flustered woman could only blush in response before she gave a quick nod. Despite how oddly the rock star had been acting, Raven’s heart fluttered at the implications of what he was saying. She had a feeling that Manson wanted to ‘make it up to her’ about the prostitute and the thought made her blush deeply.
    As if reading her mind, the super star smirked down at her before pulling away to allow her to get off the couch. A bit breathless from how Manson was now looking at her, the flustered woman looked towards Johnny with a shy, unsure smile. “Thanks for allowing me to spend the night here Johnny,” she whispered, moving around the couch to give the movie star a tight hug. The actor looked up at Manson for permission, waiting for a small nod from the performer before wrapping his arms around the young woman and giving her a loose hug in return.
    “Any time Raven and I mean that. Any time you need me, no matter what time of night it is, I want you to call me,” he replied, pulling away to look in her eyes.
    “Promise me that,” he whispered, his voice a bit gruff from emotion as his hands began to shake on her arms. Worry and love shone in his brown eyes as he breathlessly awaited her answer, looking as if his very world hinged on the next words out of her mouth.
    “I promise,” she finally replied, wonder tinging her voice as she rested her cheek against Johnny’s clothed chest. She allowed her eyes to slip shut as she inhaled his scent, allowing his gentle arms and beating heart lull her into a sense of calmness. Yet guilt ate at her heart like acid. The handsome actor loved her, truly and honestly loved her. He would probably give up anything he had just to make her happy and the knowledge of that made her miserable.
    “Oh Johnny, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed out running from his arms and out of the suite, as if running from a rabid animal.
    Johnny stood there for a few moments, his arms still in the position they had been when he had been hugging Raven. Letting out a shaky, sad sigh, the star looked up at Manson with haunted look. A look that took the singer’s breath away due to the sheer amount of sorrow and protectiveness in the dark orbs. “Brian, you listen to me like you’ve never listened before because I’m only going to say this once. That woman out there means a lot to me, a lot more than I have any right to feel about her. I swear to you, on whatever you hold sacred, if you ever hit Raven; I will fucking kill you,” he snarled heatedly, his brown eyes turning black from rage as he stalked closer to Manson while he spoke. By the time the sentence was finished, their noses were touching and the super star could feel the movie star’s hot breath on his face.
    “You won’t have to worry about killing me if that happens. If I ever lay a hand on her, I’m pretty sure I’ll kill myself if my band doesn’t do it for me,” the rock god finally replied, a hard, serious edge to his voice as he met his friend’s gaze steadily. He had meant every word. If Twiggy hadn’t stopped him from hitting Raven yesterday he would have killed himself in his hotel once he had gotten into the room. He simply wouldn’t have been able to live with the guilt of the fact that he had caused her physical harm.
    Ginger could only look in confusion from Amanda to the man standing in front of her. The male came up to his shoulder and was just a hair taller than the curly haired female. He was dressed in a long, black trench coat and a black army cap rested on his chin length black hair. A goatee beard surrounded his pursed lips as his brown eyes glittered at them both angrily. “Hey Mandy, long time no see,” he bit out, rage tinging his gruff voice as his hate filled eyes moved slowly to the drummer who stood behind the slowly angering female.
    “Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing here! Haven’t you done enough to Raven already? Why can’t you and that sick boyfriend of yours just leave her the fuck alone,” spat out Amanda, her fear leaving for indignant rage as her hands curled into tight fists and began to shake. Just yesterday Tony had been here and she still didn’t want to think about what the scumbag might have done to Raven before Manson had gotten there.
    “How could I forget? The little slut is the reason Tony’s in jail. Speaking of the bitch, where the fuck is she and who the fuck is that behind you,” the male snarled, his dark eyes staying focused on Ginger. The musician met his gaze steadily, slowly moving to stand beside Amanda.
    “The reason why, Tony was it, is in jail is because he assaulted and attempted to rape Raven. If you have a problem with justice being delivered righteously then I suggest you just leave. In fact I would suggest you leave anyway,” the bleach blonde hissed, his eyes narrowing as his hand curled into tight fists. Behind him the other members of the band began to gather one by one, each wearing identical looks of rage on their painted faces.
    Chuckling gruffly in response, Miah opened his arms and looked at five men with a look of challenge. “You can try to make me but I can promise you it won’t be easy,” the trenchcoat wearing man chuckled, waving his fingers in invitation with a cocky grin on his goateed lips. the five band members surged forwards as one, reaching the now laughing man within seconds.
    Despite how happy she was to be beside Manson, Raven felt a tinge of fear that made her feel both sad and guilty. Her body fairly burned from his closeness but her heart beat wildly in her throat as panic began to blossom within her. How close the singer had come to hitting her had shaken her badly and as much as she wanted to move on, she couldn’t get the image of him cocking back his fist out of her mind. Heaving a shaky sigh, Raven gazed miserably out of the window as her mind wandered unwanted avenues.
    Beside her, Manson shifted slightly as he briefly allowed his gaze to drift over to the woman beside him. In the silence of the car, the singer found himself replaying the events of yesterday in his head over and over. The scene of him raising his fist played in slow motion and seemed to be in an endless loop, drawing a sigh from the guilt ridden singer. As much as he wanted to erase what he had done the night before, he knew it would take more time. As much as he longed to be with Raven right now, Manson knew he was poison to be around right now. She needed time to heal, time to forgive and he needed time to come to terms with his left over feelings for Dita as well as his own insecurities.
    The silence hung between the pair like a lead weight, bringing the mood down and making it somber. It almost felt as if an end was coming and the fact frightened both of them. “Raven, I...,” the singer began.
    “Marilyn, I...,” Raven sighed out at the same time, causing them to turn to each other and stare. Then all the tension exploded into hysterical laughter, the overwrought pair simply laughing to relieve the built up stress that lingered in the air.
    After a few moments the hysteria tapered into relieved giggles, both wiping tears from their eyes as they fought to catch their breath. All wasn’t okay between them but it was a bit better. “You go first,” the pale woman offered, smiling kindly as her mirth died to occasional chuckles. The rock star smiled in return, his grin wavering slightly as he returned his focus to the road before him.
    “As much as I would love to be around tonight, I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he sighed, his joy of earlier replaced with stark reluctance and trepidation.
    “I... I agree. As much as I long for you to come back, I need some time away from you. What you almost did...,” she whispered, trailing off and looking out the window as she found herself unable to finish the sentence. In doing so she missed Manson wince as if her words had socked him in the stomach.
    “I’ll... drop you off,” he murmured in response, unable to look in her direction at all due to the overwhelming guilt he felt. It almost felt as if the feeling itself was trying to strangle his heart and it made it difficult for him to even breathe.
    “Thank you Mare. C-can I call you?” came a timid, hopeful response, making him dare to believe she could forgive him for nearly punching her. That warm feeling caused his heart to ache slightly in his chest and Dita to laugh cruelly in the back of his head. ‘You’re only kidding yourself Brian! Any sane woman would have left you long ago? Why has she stayed so long?’ hissed the facsimile of her voice, causing him to grit his teeth and tighten his grip on the steering wheel.
    ‘Shut up! She hasn’t asked for one thing from me! She hasn’t even tried to organize any interviews with the paparazzi! She keeps fighting to stay with me no matter how badly I’ve treated her! I even almost hit her and she still wants to have contact with me!’ he spat at the phantom in his mind, taking a deep breath to calm himself before responding to his worried girlfriend.
    “Yes, please! Call me whenever you want! It’ll keep me from going crazy without you,” he finally replied in a gruff voice, allowing his stage persona to become slightly dominant in an effort to keep Dita from getting under his skin.
    Noticing the change in his voice, Raven looked up at him with a slightly worried gaze before she timidly reached forward and placed one of her hands over his. “What’s wrong Mare?” she asked cautiously, her entire body ready to leap away at any moment. A fact that she hated with every fiber of her being. Whatever was causing the singer’s odd behavior had to do with Dita showing up at that concert.
    Manson sighed heavily at the feeling of her small hand resting over his, a hesitant smile appearing on his naked lips. “My head’s a little fucked up right now Raven. I’m just... thinking a little too much lately,” he rasped out, avoiding the subject of the harpy perched in the back of his mind. He was afraid that if he mentioned her, she would come screaming forward and cause him to say something he’d regret. To his relief, Raven smiled in understanding before releasing his hand.
    As the sleek, red car pulled into the short driveway, Manson and Raven became aware of five men in an altercation with a single figure dressed in black. As they came to a stop, they both came to the realization that the five men were Jeordie and the four members of Marilyn Manson. Squinting her eyes, Raven tried to make out who the sixth person was as she got out of the car. Then, all of a sudden, the pale woman fell to her knees as a look of abject terror came over her face.
    Manson was there in a second, looking down at her with concern as he knelt by her side. “Raven, wha?” the super star began before the shaking female let out a loud cry of fear and despair. The loud noise caused all fighting to stop and the single assailant to look at the pair by the car.
    “M-miah, i-it’s fucking Miah,” she gasped out breathlessly, scrambling away from the far away figure subconsciously along the concrete until her back hit the metal of the car. As soon as the name left her lips, Manson stood to his full height as recognition and understanding slowly came into his heterochromic eyes. This man was one of Raven’s abusive exes and he had the gall to show up here. Curling his hands into tight fists, the Antichrist Superstar stalked towards the aggressor.
    It happened in a blur of action. All of a sudden the two men were rolling along the ground, lobbing punches at eachother while the other five men watched. While that was going on, Amanda was running out of the house and toward a fear frozen Raven, helping the shaking woman to her feet. “It’s okay Megs, it’s okay. Let’s get you inside and call the cops,” the curly haired female soothed, attempting to steer the ramrod stiff woman towards the house to no avail. Raven stood as if glued to the spot, her hazel eyes fixed on the grappling males.
    In the chaos, Jeordie and Ginger looked up to see where Raven was; both running toward her when they saw the state she was in. Tim and John, who had been standing close to the two of them, turned to see what they were heading towards in such a hurry. When they saw the look on Raven’s face, Tim gave Pogo a nudge in the ribs before running toward her with the other two. John stayed behind, looking from Manson to Raven as if unsure of where he wanted to be. Pogo, jolting from the sharp elbow in the ribs, rolled his eyes irritably as he turned to see what had needed his attention so badly. As soon as he caught a glimpse of the frozen woman everyone was surrounding he drew in a sharp gasp. The keyboardist seemed to shudder in place for a moment before he came to a decision.
    Manson continued to grapple with the black clad male, snarling as the combatant laughed in his face. “Go ahead, hit me! I fucking dare you!” Miah challenged, dark amusement glittering in his eyes as the rock star flipped him onto his back and pinned him to the grass.
    “Manson, let me take over from here,” came a familiar male voice from behind the singer as a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. The performer growled in response, turning to see Pogo glaring down at the pinned male.
    “Come on man, Raven really needs you right now. Just look at her,” the keyboardist reasoned, his stony gaze slowly traveling to his band mate as his eyes narrowed. His words had the desired effect, making Manson pause for a moment and look towards where he had left Raven.
    The black clad female was watching them with wide, haunted eyes, unable to move despite the large group of people trying to gently lead her into the house. Her black hair hung in her pale face, making her drawn face look even more pale and frightened. It was as if the sight of the man on the ground had broken her in a way. In a flash Manson was moving towards her, quickly replaced by Pogo; who gleefully sat on Miah’s chest and smirked down at him. “Hiya big boy,” the keyboardist cooed in an insane facsimile of flirtatiousness.
    Raven was trapped in a personal hell within her mind, unable to stop the memories of her relationship with both Tony and Miah. Images of the many times Tony beat her, memories of Miah telling her she was ugly or useless. Images and vague voices filled her head as tears flowed helplessly down her cheeks, her heart thudding in her ears as her vision began to grey around the edges. Then, as if through thick jello shot through with static, the shaking woman became aware of a male voice calling her name and a pair of hands grasping her upper arms. Forcing herself to focus on the world around her, Raven could make out a blurred face in front of her.
    As the face swam into focus, the violently shaking woman let out a gasping sob as she launched herself into Manson’s arms. Wordless, traumatized cries left her mouth, sounding as if they were coming from the depths of her soul. It took everything Manson had within him to wrap his arms around the distraught female and not go back to beat Miah senseless. “Manson, get her inside,” Twiggy whispered, glaring heatedly at the man Pogo was sitting on. John, who had stayed behind with the keyboardist, was glancing at the ex-musician with concern clear on his face.
    “Keep an eye on him John-o! Seeing this bastard has affected Raven rather badly and we’re going to get her inside,” Jeordie yelled, answering the guitarist’s unspoken question before he turned to help Manson and the others gently pull the sobbing woman into the house.
    The singer only had eyes for Raven, holding the shaking woman close as he pulled/helped her into the house. Once she was inside, the performer led the distraught female to the kitchen and helped her into a seat before sitting down beside her. During this maneuver Raven never let go of him once, continuing to sob like a frightened child into his black shirt. Making soothing noises, the rock star wrapped one arm around her back and used the other hand to cradle the back of her head as he began to rock her gently.
    While the singer was doing that, Jeordie was moving to the fridge to fetch her a Red Pop. It was the only soda in the fridge and Raven had reacted well to it last time. Moving quickly, he set the bottle on the table and gave Manson a pointed look. The super star only nodded in response, nudging the still sobbing female’s forehead with his chin as she practically sat in his lap.
    While that was going on, Ginger and Tim had followed Amanda to the living room and watched her as she picked up the phone to call the police. While the line rang, the enraged, worried female began to pace back and forth; moving a hand through her curly, brown hair nervously. Unable to withstand seeing the female so distressed, the drummer was by her side within seconds and wrapping his arms around her tightly. As soon as his arms made contact with her body, the over stressed female burst into tears and burrowed her face into his chest; the ringing phone still pressed to her ear.
    Smiling down at the woman gently, the musician gently tugged the phone out of her loose grip and brought it to his ear. Thankfully it was at that moment that someone on the other end picked up and said, “Police Department.”
    “I’d like to report an intruder,” he answered in a calm voice, petting Amanda in a soothing manner as she slowly started to calm down.
    By the time the police had arrived, Raven was calm enough to tell them what happened but still clung as tightly to Manson as she possibly could. Shaky sobs still left her on occasion and she held a bottle of Red Pop in her right hand. Even if she had wanted to stand on her own, Manson’s arms were too tight around her to allow for much movement. At the moment it was only the rock star’s closeness that gave her the courage to tell the officer about her past with Miah and her suspicion about why he was there. After she was finished explaining, the officer went back out front to help his partner wrangle the cuffed assailant into the car. “Megs? You okay?” came a timid female voice from the pair’s left as soon as the police had left.
    Raven shuddered in Manson’s arms, nodding against the rock star’s chest but not letting go of him for a second. The performer only sighed in relief, rubbing her back as he gently moved them back into the kitchen, sat down and pulled her into his lap. “Twigs, take my phone and use the most recent address in the GPS to go to the hotel I was at last night and get my stuff. I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere,” Manson requested, sliding a card key for a hotel room across the wooden table.
    “The hell you aren’t! Do you think I’d let you stay when it looked like you came very close to going down the same road Tony did?” Amanda snarled, coming into the kitchen and glaring distrustfully at the rock star. Before Manson could even open his mouth to retort, a timid female voice interrupted him and made the room go silent.
    “Mandy, please. I can’t... I don’t... please don’t make me handle this alone,” Raven begged breathlessly, unable to lift her face from Manson’s chest to even look at her childhood friend.
    “Shhh, I’m not going anywhere sweetheart,” the rock star cooed soothingly, keeping his focus fully on the distraught female. Amanda could only watch, an apprehensive look on her pale face.
    It was Ginger placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a pleading look that finally made her give in. “Fine but if you raise your voice to her or upset her in any way you’re out,” hissed the protective female, her rage turning to worry as her green eyes flicked to her shaking friend. She had only seen the other female this distraught a handful of times and none of them had ended well. All she could do was hope having Manson around wouldn’t do more harm than good.
    Manson ignored the other woman’s warning, focussing on calming Raven down enough so she would stop shaking. At least she had stopped sobbing but the full body shuddering was highly concerning. Looking around the room, it dawned on the singer that being in a crowded room probably wasn’t helping the frightened woman calm down. Even now John and Pogo were coming into the already full room, making it feel even more closed in and suffocating. “I’m going to take her upstairs for a bit. I think the quiet will help her calm down,” he declared seconds before he picked Raven up in his arms and moved toward the stairs.
    Amanda made a move to stop them but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. Whipping around with an irritated look, the curly haired female was shocked to see it was Pogo stopping her and not Ginger. “It’s okay Amanda, really,” murmured the keyboardist, his normal insane humor gone from his eyes. The female only pursed her lips as she looked at the other band members and Jeordie, receiving the same serious look from all of them. Sighing in defeat, the worried female turned to watch the rock star carry her still shaking friend up the stairs.
    “You guys had better be right,” she hissed heatedly before she stormed into the living room.
    Raven huddled into her boyfriend’s chest, her eyes shut as she allowed herself to inhale his scent. The smell of him combined with the fact that he was carrying her upstairs made her feel safe, no small feat after the events of today and yesterday. She didn’t even flinch when he opened a door, carried her into a room and shut it behind them. Then she was being set down and her eyes flew open in a panic as she reached out for him. To her relief she found he hadn’t moved, merely set her down on a bed and was simply sitting beside her.
    Then she was in his lap, wrapped in his arms as he began to rock them slowly back and forth. “I’m here, you’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you, not even myself,” he whispered, peppering her clammy forehead with soothing kisses as he lovingly pet her hair. Raven could only sigh in response, her small hands tightening in his black shirt as her shaking slowly started to abate.
    “Mare,” she whispered, gratefulness heavy in her voice as she nuzzled into the rough material of his shirt. The small action caused quite a conflicting clash of emotions within the rock star, stirring up protectiveness in his heart but a burning hatred and suspicion from the harpy in the back of his mind. ‘I wonder why the lil slut is so hated by those two. What do you think she’s done to earn them hunting her down to beat and rape her,’ hissed the fake Dita.
    It took everything Manson had within him not to snarl outright at what the voice was implying. None of this was Raven’s fault and she had done nothing to warrant the aggressive behavior of the two males who had paid her a visit. The fact that the phantom Dita in his mind would imply as such made his blood boil and fear rise within him. How much longer could he ignore what ‘Dita’ was saying? How long could he control the anger his moments alone with the voice caused? How long would it be before he actually harmed Raven because of his inability to control himself? As he sat with Raven slowly falling asleep in his arms, the rock star found himself scared of the answers he would receive.
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Tainted Love