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The Rose and Thorn	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3123 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I still don't know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic in real life. Needless to say, this is a work of fiction. I make no profit from this and this is just for fun.

Chapter List
- 26
- 27
WARNING!!: Miscarriage! Marked with **.

Author’s Note: “Interesting. You want to go back. You want to go back to the world you destroyed. It was you who pushed everything to its edge. It was you who led the world to its destruction. But you cannot accept it. You think you are above consequences.” - ??? (Undertale)

I wanted to extend a thank you to all the readers and commenters who keep following this trilogy. We’re in the home stretch! Just one more book to go!

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Come Crashing Down

    Raven sighed as she laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling, Lily on her stomach while Lady laid on her legs. She had the house to herself until Johnny came home and even then it still seemed far too empty without the band or Amanda. They would be gone for several months, her friend going with them due to not wanting to be separated from her new husband for so long. This left her in a huge house with Johnny Depp, the actor insisting on staying with her when he found out she would be utterly alone otherwise. Something everyone honestly highly approved of.
    With her new music career, it was impossible for her to come at all. Right now she was on call, coming in whenever they wanted her to record something. They wanted a couple more songs as well, making her next few months very busy. If things stayed on the same track, she would soon be on a tour of her own; a prospect that honestly scared the living daylights out of her. Sighing slightly, she fumbled with the TV remote before turning the channel to some cartoon station. Right now, she just didn’t want to even think about things that stressed her out. She had woken up with her back feeling like it had been tied in a knot and her lower body felt even worse, letting her know she was on the cusp of a very nasty period and she wanted to relax as much as possible.
    Still, looking at the clock, she had quite a while before Johnny would be back; leaving her with a lot more alone time than she was comfortable with. Pulling out her dark red phone, she flipped through her short list of contacts until her gaze landed on a specific number. Taking a deep breath she pressed the number and held her breath as the line began to ring. When the other end clicked open, the brunette began to talk. “Hey, they’re gone for a while and I could use some company. Would you mind coming over? I’m sure you already know the address,” Raven found herself asking as she moved a lock of her ebony hair behind her ear. The person on the other end agreed readily, making her feel a lot better already.
    Minutes later and she found herself watching nature documentaries with her fiance’s ex-wife, chatting as if they were the best of friends. “How long are they going to be gone for this time?” Dita asked, her voice a smooth purr as a documentary about killer whales played in the background.
    “Quite a few months I’m afraid,” Raven sighed, squirming slightly as the vice around her lower back tightened another notch. The model only nodded, a nostalgic smile on her beautiful visage as she watched the other female.
    “Did he leave ya alone or do you have someone else to keep you company?” the woman on the shorter couch asked, her blue eyes traveling to the white feline curled up on the other female’s stomach. Never once had she seen the grouchy cat so friendly.
    “Johnny Depp is going to be hanging around until they come back. Manson really didn’t want to leave me alone, which I honestly appreciate,” the reclining femme replied, rubbing her back absentmindedly as the tightness and discomfort kept increasing steadily. Something that wasn’t lost on the pin-up star on the couch next to hers.
    “You okay? You seem to be in a fair amount of discomfort,” Dita observed, a slightly nervous expression on her pale face.
    “Yeah, I think I’m starting my period or something but its never felt this bad,” Raven replied, wincing as another, much harder cramp clamped around her lower body.
    Immediately, the older female was at her side; feeling around on the small dome of her stomach that housed her reproductive organs. When the model’s hands encountered rock hard flesh, her brow crinkled in concern. “Have you and Brian had unprotected sex?” Dita whispered, a serious expression on her gorgeous face. The look of horror that came over the former artist’s face told the pin-up star all she needed to know.
    “A few times but surely it can’t be that... Maybe it’s just a really bad period,” the younger woman reasoned, her own hands traveling unconsciously down to her own stomach. She frowned even deeper when she felt hard, ungiving flesh under her fingertips. Whatever was going on, it certainly wasn’t a normal period.
    “Raven, sweetie, I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. We’ll only call the hospital and Johnny if the pain gets worse or you start to bleed very heavily,” Dita urged, a deadly seriousness in her azure orbs. The former freelancer nodded solemnly, a light sweat beginning to bead on her forehead as the vice within her tightened more.
    Time is a funny thing really. A single moment spanning only a few minutes can feel like an eternity. On the other hand, an hour can feel like the blink of an eye. It all depends on the perspective of the person experiencing it. For Raven, a matter of a half hour felt like months had passed; her agony and nerves steadily increasing as her guest watched her like a hawk. So, when Johnny came striding through the door, the nearly hysterical musician very nearly tackled him from sheer relief. “Hey... hey, you okay?” came his gentle baritone as the goatee wearing actor easily swept her into him arms.
    “Y-yeah, just a bit spooked. I’ve been having intense cramps all day that might be my period or a miscarriage,” she confessed in a small voice, her words making a cold wash of fear run through the handsome thespian holding her.
    Gentle, callused hands tipped her chin back as dark eyes searched hers in a near frantic manner. Then his gaze was moving to Dita and his almost ebony orbs narrowed as he visibly stiffened. “Has she started bleeding yet,” he asked tersely, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he carefully carried a shaking Raven back to the couch she had leapt from.
    “No but she shows signs of increasing discomfort. I find myself hesitant to call Bri... I mean Manson unless it’s a dire situation,” the model replied, a worried expression on her gorgeous features. Red lipstick graced her lips and dark gray eye shadow accented her almond shaped eyes. A hint of blush dusted her porcelain cheeks to help bring out her cheekbones and her hair was combed into soft waves.
    Even her fear for the budding singer only made her more beautiful, a fact that irked Johnny even more for some reason. “Let’s just hope its a really bad period. If its what we suspect it is... I don’t even want to think about it,” he rumbled as he laid his precious burden down on the deep red material of the couch. The midnight clad female only clung to him, whimpering in anxiety as she burrowed her overly pale face in his shirt covered stomach. Hushing her gently, he gathered the still shuddering female into his lap and began to pet her hair in a soothing manner.
    “All we can really do is wait and see. There’s probably no reason for any of our fears and things will be just fine,” goateed actor assured as he locked eyes with the former artist in his lap. Still, despite the sureness of his words, some part of him sounded as if he didn’t quite believe them.
    **A few hours passed without incident, severe discomfort the only symptom Raven was experiencing for the time being. Still, every time she got up to go to the bathroom she had an escort. This time it was Johnny that was going to wait outside for her, a strained expression on his tanned face. Unsure of whether to be touched or annoyed by current developments, the slightly pudgy female simply shut the door before attending to her business. When she was done, she did the perfunctory wipe and felt a wash of fear roar through her as the world seemed to go gray around her. There, marring the white of the toilet paper, was a deep red streak of crimson. The blood took up the entire square and she felt her mouth go dry as an even harder cramp than all the ones before it clamped around her insides, making her feel like she had been torn open and filled with red hot coals. “J-johnny,” she squeaked out as agony roared through her like a wild animal.
    The actor felt uneasy allowing Raven to use the bathroom alone. Something just felt off and that feeling only increased as the seconds ticked by like hours. He felt ill at ease and wanted nothing more than to rush into the bathroom to see if his dear friend was alright. Gritting his teeth, he swore at himself as he opened the door and went inside. What he saw made all doubts about whether he was doing the right thing flee his mind instantly. The pale woman was curled into a tiny ball, her black jeans around her ankles as a red liquid began to spread out in a slowly growing puddle from behind her.
    Everything seemed to happen in slow motion from there, his voice an alien thing as he called for Dita to call 9-11 right fucking now. Then his body was moving forward awkwardly, as if controlled by a drunken puppeteer. His hands numb as he knelt beside the fallen woman that held his heart, a foreign voice telling her it would be alright in a much too calm tone. She kept whimpering about too much blood, echoing his sentiments exactly despite what the words coming out of his mouth were telling her. His heart was an aching ball in his chest as he resisted the urge to pick her up with everything he had within him. Thankfully the other female downstairs had wasted no time, the sound of sirens filling him with immeasurable relief. “Manson... please, call Brian...,” gasped the pain wracked musician as a nearly endless stream of blood seemed to leave her, the sound of pounding footsteps coming up the stairs seeming to flawlessly match the pace his heart was going.**
    Manson was in full form, dressed in leather pants and a trenchcoat; black make-up running down from both eyes in dual points. His hair was cut to just touch his cheek on the right side of his face, the other side shaved short. A snarl curled his red painted lips as he gripped the microphone in his half gloved hands. He had just finished singing one of his songs from his newest album and was about to launch into another when he saw Amanda gesturing frantically to him from the side of the stage. Immediately his stomach dropped to the floor and he ran off the stage without a word, practically yanking the phone out of her hands. “Brian, its Johnny. Raven’s been taken to the hospital. I’m afraid she’s had a miscarriage,” came a familiar baritone on the other end, his words nearly making the rocker sink to his knees.
    “Jesus fucking christ...,” he managed as the world seemed to fall away from him, his stage persona coming to the forefront in an instinctual effort to shield him from the immense pain that filled his heart. Then he was on his feet, screaming at a manager to tell the audience the concert had been cancelled. Meanwhile, the rest of the band gathered around to find out just what was going on; things quickly descending into unmitigated chaos from there.
    Waking up to dull pain in your abdomen and the antiseptic smell of Hospital in your nose while being in an entirely different place was certainly not a good way to start out your day as Raven quickly found out. In fact, she very nearly had a panic attack until she felt hands on her shoulders and she looked up to see Johnny giving her a relieved smile. On her other side was Dita, a concerned look on her own features. In her left arm was an IV and she could feel the remnants of a fresh cramp fading away. It didn’t take her long to put two and two together. “I had a miscarriage didn’t I,” she whispered, her voice breaking in the middle of her sentence as a hand came to rest on her lower stomach. While she had never really wanted children, the thought of losing something her and Manson had made together tore apart something deep inside her.
    “The doctors haven’t told us anything yet but it certainly looks that way sweetie,” came the gentle baritone of the star on her right.
    Raven could only nod as she felt hot tears prick her eyes, her heart an aching knot in her chest. What would Manson have to say about this? Would he blame her? Would he be angry? Most of all, how did she feel about it? All she felt was an odd sense of loss, numbness and some anxiety. As of yet, the full weight of what had happened had yet to hit her and she was honestly afraid of what would happen when it did. But what truly scared her was the oddly empty, calm feeling that filled her. In the past, when she had felt this way it had never meant anything good. Usually this was the calm before a really bad break down. “D... did anyone call Marilyn?” she whispered, staring down at the sheet covering her lap. Seeing a hospital gown on herself as well as a couple tubes coming out of her arms felt alien, the fact that she felt more about this than what had happened disturbing her even more.
    “Yeah, I called him as the paramedics were stabilizing you for movement,” Johnny responded, Dita nodding slowly in agreement as a doctor entered the room.
    Manson lay on the bed in the back of the tour van, staring up at the ceiling as the vehicle rocked gently. Tim was driving as fast as he could but the singer felt oddly... numb. Only his heart throbbed painfully but even that didn’t bring out much emotion. He just felt empty, hollowed out and he didn’t like what the meant. Whenever he had felt like this, it had truly been a calm before a storm. He often would soon fly into an uncontrollable rage, uncaring of who he hurt just as long as he distracted himself from the pain he felt. Groaning, he flung a bare, tattooed arm over his eyes as he tried to settle himself. The most important thing was making sure Raven was okay and that he didn’t go nuclear around her. “Fuck, a miscarriage... If I had known she was pregnant...,” he rasped, punching the bed before grabbing Kathy and curling into a fetal ball.
    Who was he kidding, if he had know he would have still gone on tour after a few days. He only would have stopped once the pregnancy was in the last few months. Growling as he felt his heart clench painfully, the singer let out a quiet keen as tears began to flow down his painted cheeks. Yet, despite that, he felt a distressing amount of nothing and began to punch the mattress over and over. He hated dealing with his feelings, absolutely hated it. He found himself incapable of dealing with them in any rational capacity and it often got him into trouble. After nearly losing Raven and fighting so hard to get her back he was honestly afraid of how he would handle this. All he knew for sure was he needed to get home, now.
    Hearing the doctor’s words had made the entire situation all too real and she felt her heart begin to ache. She had lost their baby, a searing guilt filling her and tearing her heart apart. As soon as the doctor left, she broke into heart wrenching sobs; hiding her face in her hands as Johnny tugged her against his body. All tactics to soothe her proved ineffective until she settled into an even scarier catatonia, not even responding to the movie star’s increasingly frantic cries of her name. Right now she was trapped in her own head, berating herself over and over for losing this child, this life her and her fiance had created together. The fact that she hadn’t particularly wanted to be a mother in the first place only added to her guilt. In fact, she was almost positive that mindset had caused the miscarriage; despite knowing it was entirely irrational somewhere deep down.
    Against Johnny and Dita’s concerns, Raven was released in a few days; the doctors advising that they try to engage her in some way. This enraged the actor to no end and he found himself gritting his teeth the entire way back to Manson’s house, the former freelancer nothing more than a quiet shadow in the passenger seat; constant tears flowing down her paper white cheeks. At that moment, he wished nothing more than to have the ability to crawl into her head and see what she was thinking. From what he could see on her blank face, it couldn’t be anything good. “Sweetie, this wasn’t anyone’s fault. These things just... happen,” he tried to reason, hoping she could hear him wherever she had retreated to in her head. To his relief, her eyes shifted slightly to him; showing that she had heard him. Then she opened her mouth and said something far too quiet for him to hear.
    “Could you repeat that hun? I couldn’t hear you,” he urged gently, reaching over to take one of her hands in his as he refocused his gaze on the road.
    “I... I didn’t want to have a kid in the first place. What if thinking like that had some sort of effect on my unborn child? What if... what if this is my fault?” she whispered, causing him to turn to look at her once more. The pain in her eyes speared through his heart and he gasped slightly as he squeezed her hand.
    “You can’t allow yourself to think that way. There are all kinds of reasons why this type of thing happens but nothing you were doing could have possibly caused it,” the celebrity tried to assure as he kept half his focus on the road, his concern only increasing when the dark haired femme shook her head in response and turned so she was looking out the window. The sooner Brian came back, the better.
    Raven came back to herself some time later, the sound of two voices greeting her ears. Yet, she couldn’t really bring herself to care about what they were saying. All she cared about was the aching, all encompassing pain wrapping its way around her heart and the desolate emptiness that came with it. Despite knowing Depp was right, the former artist couldn’t help but dwell on the ludicrous idea that it was her fault. A very cruel facsimile of her own voice whispered terrible things in her mind, telling her things like ‘You didn’t want this to begin with, shouldn’t you be happy?’ or ‘How do you think Brian will react to the fact that you lost his child? Do you think he will want to stay after this?’ or even ‘Your body is poison. You were never meant to carry children in the first place.’
    While this was going on, Johnny was busy trying to usher a certain pin-up model out the door. “Please Dita, he’ll be here any minute and is probably already unstable as it is. He really doesn’t need to see you in his house,” the movie actor tried to reason, his shoulder length, black hair hanging slightly in his tanned face. The black haired beauty only pursed her lips, looking anxiously back at the musician on the couch before sighing and looking back at him.
    “I know, just keep me updated on her condition. Also, did you call him to make sure he knew she had been checked out of the hospital?” she asked, the volley of swearing that came from the star telling her all she needed to know.
    Ginger pressed his phone to his ear as Manson raged at the doctor in the background, coming to attention as soon as he heard who it was. The rockstar, who was currently flipping off security, was so distracted that he didn’t notice the drummer until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Whirling to face his bandmate, he stopped in his tracks when he saw the relieved smile on the bleach blonde’s acne scarred face. “Raven’s been discharged, Johnny took her home,” he informed, before going to tell Amanda the same thing. The goth rocker could only stare ahead as the journalist broke into relieved tears.
    “I tried to tell you that, if you had stopped to listen...,” one of the doctors droned on as a faint buzzing noise began to fill his ears. Then he was striding toward the doors, his band close on his heels.
    Johnny had just managed to convince a limp and uncooperative Raven to take some broth when Manson came charging into the house like a rhinoceros, his heterochromic eyes wild as they locked on him and the nearly catatonic female in his lap. Then he was striding forward, reaching for her as he got close. Nodding, the star simply lifted her into his arms and moved to the shorter couch; watching as his normally brutal friend nuzzled the ex-freelancer’s face like a kitten. “Oh Raven,” moaned the superstar as he sank onto the couch, clutching her to him as he began to shake violently. This caused the prone female to suddenly come alive, her arms wrapping around her fiance as she let out a quiet keen.
    “I’m so sorry,” she gasped out, repeating the line over and over like a frightened child expecting a beating as she burrowed her face in his bony chest.
    The singer stiffened at first, his hand hovering over her back as he seemed to fight with himself. Rage and intense pain seemed to war for dominance, before he sighed and took her into a tight embrace. For just a moment, his wall collapsed to show just how much pain he was in. He looked like a broken, lost man and more than just a little guilt was written all over his painted features. “You have nothing to apologize for babe. Absolutely nothing. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here when this happened,” he rasped, none of his reactions missed by the actor on the couch beside the one he sat on.
    “But... but, I didn’t...,” the sobbing woman began, only to be interrupted by her childhood friend bursting through the front door; followed closely by the rest of the band.
    Immediately seeing the problem that would happen, Johnny got to his feet in a flash and placed his body between them and the pair. Only Amanda looked angry and confused, the others taking a look over his shoulders and understanding in an instant. Before the thespian could explain, the ‘Antichrist Superstar’ behind him released an absolutely animalistic snarl. Everyone froze, Depp slowly turning his head to look at the volatile rock star behind him. Manson had practically wrapped himself around Raven and had his black lips pulled back to bare his teeth as something wild shined in his mismatched eyes. If anyone dared to move toward them, it was very likely the overly protective male would explode quite violently. “I think it would be best if we gave them some space to get upstairs so they can be alone,” the goateed actor suggested, backing off along with everyone else.
    The still glowering performer gathered the distraught woman into his arms before practically running up the stair, leaving Ginger to restrain a rather confused and pissed off Amanda. “Its best we give them some time alone right now. Raven is fine physically but mentally... She just needs to be with Brian right now,” Johnny tried to soothe, his own concern for the female nearly demanding he run up the stairs after them. What he left out of his little spiel was the fact that he honestly hoped the rock star would be able to hold it together. From what he had seen, the performer was in a state of agony and guilt he had never reached before. Something that surely boded ill for everyone involved. Ushering the group into the living room, the handsome star prayed to whatever God that was up there that things would just go smoothly for once.
    As soon as he got her into the room, he was humming ‘Last Day on Earth’; curling up with her on his large bed as he began to gently pet her hair. Raven only whimpered, her tiny fists tightening in the shirt he wore as she continued to sob quietly. Just seeing her like this only made him feel more guilty, bringing the normal rage he used to shield himself much closer to the surface. Gritting his teeth as he actively fought against reactions he had for years, forcing himself to remain calm and level headed. If there was a time where she needed that from him, this would be it. Then she said something that made all of his hard work go to naught. “Its all my fault. I never wanted a child to begin with,” she whispered, those words making all his good intentions disappear like so much dust. It was something his subconscious latched readily onto as a way to deflect blame from himself but he forced that instinct away harshly. He had come way too far to allow this part of him to ruin things.
    The best laid plans can come to ruin and a road paved with good intentions often leads to tragedy. These sayings are all the more cruel when faced with the reality of them. At first, things were great. Marilyn tended to Raven as if she was an invalid, which she basically was at the moment. The former artist had yet to move from the bed, alternating between crying and simply staring at the ceiling. Kathy and Manson were the only things she spoke to, the singer not even letting others in the room for the first few days. After a week, the rocker began to slip; his old habits becoming harder and harder to keep a handle on. This wasn’t too surprising. In times of stress, people were often known to slip back into what they were used to in an effort to comfort themselves; this was no exception.
    For the superstar, it was like watching an alien being controlling his body and growing more snappy with his fiance everyday. He could see the miscarriage was eating away at her just as much as it was him but he was helpless to stop his downward spiral. It wasn’t too long before the others began to notice, Johnny pulling him aside after he had come very close to raising his voice to an extremely fragile Raven over getting her a glass of water. “Look Brian, I know you’re hurting pretty bad but treating her like this isn’t helping her. You’re making her worse by the day. Maybe you should leave for a bit and get your head on straight,” the goateed actor suggested, irritation and worry clear on his tanned face.
    “Don’t you think I can see what I’m doing to her?! I can’t fucking stop! I’ve tried but it keeps getting worse, more and more false anger coming out like vomit! I know I need to go away for a bit but... I tried to leave her in the room for a few hours last night and stood by the door. She started calling for me in her sleep within seconds. She needs me to be here for her but she also needs me to be away until I can take care of her. I’m fucking caught between a rock and a hard place,” he hissed, wrapping his black nailed hands in his short cropped hair and tugging.
    Johnny could only give his friend a sympathetic glance, hating the helpless feeling that filled him. “Just, try to hold it together for her sake. Me and Twiggy are here if you need to let off steam,” the actor offered, placing a hand on the taller man’s shirt covered shoulder. The singer only nodded before sighing and going back upstairs, doing his best to ignore the death glower he got from Amanda on his way up. Unfortunately for everyone involved, things only continued to disintegrate rapidly from there; the guilt of what he was inadvertently causing the woman who held his heart driving him to act out worse and worse. Thus causing a horrible spiral that everyone seemed helpless to stop. Finally, it got so bad that the superstar simply couldn’t justify putting her through it any longer.
    “Please, please you can’t just leave me!” Raven begged, clinging to his leg as she sobbed openly. The band and her childhood friend could only watch helplessly, the journalist secretly seething at how the rocker had backslid so far so quickly.
    “Sweetie, its best for the both of you. Manny doesn’t mean to say those things to you and he needs some time to get into a state so he can help you,” Twiggy tried to soothe, giving a concerned glance to the shaking singer. It looked like he was dangerously close to an unintentional blow-up, seeing his fiance in such a condition nearly driving him to his breaking point. What made it even worse was knowing that he had caused it.
    “Let me go,” came the cold voice of his stage persona, making him wish he could just rip himself away from her and run out the door before he said something he didn’t mean. Something truly horrendous and meant to cause as much pain as he was feeling. All things the woman on the floor beside him honestly didn’t deserve.
    “I can’t, please I can’t! You’re going to leave me because my body rejected our child, because I didn’t want it! You can’t leave me like this,” she pleaded in a cracked voice, her thin body shaking as tears continued to pour down her cheeks.
    To his utter horror, he watched as he turned on her like a rabid animal; doing his level best to stop himself from say what danced on his tongue like bitter acid. None of what was about to leave him was good and he found himself shooting the men around him a desperate look. A look that begged them to save him from himself. Before any of them could move to help, the words came like a fountain of foul diarrhea. “I said let me go! I don’t want you to touch me you murderer,” came out of his mouth, his heart stopping as the words he had spewed rang in his ears. Then he was running out the door, nausea filling the pit of his stomach as he got in his car and roared away. It wasn’t too long before he had to stop, pulling over to vomit by the side of the road; heart-wrenching sobs leaving him and he cursed himself for his lack of control.
    “Fuck Raven, just... fuck,” he rasped, vomiting again as another car pulled up behind his. He had to leave, he had to be anywhere but here. All he could do was hope his band understood just what had happened.

The End (of Part 2. Continued in Part 3)
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The Rose and Thorn