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Tainted Love	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 3468 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Marilyn Manson or anything affiliated with him or the band. I don't know any of these famous people in real life and none of this story happened. This is fiction and just for fun. I make no profit from this.

Chapter List
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Author’s Note: ‘I want you to pray to your god. I want you to pray that he comes and saves you. I want lightning to come and crash down upon my fucking head!’ - Otis B. Driftwood (Devil’s Rejects)
‘Para-noir’ and ‘Man That You Fear’ (c) Marilyn Manson
(Well, it’s been a crazy ride for this. 265 pages in total and 1,800+ views. Please stay tuned cause there are two more books to come! Not sure when the next one will be out though, so keep your eyes peeled.)

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Plunge into Darkness
    One step forward and two steps back, a harmless enough phrase. A phrase that often doesn’t actually mean anything to most people. A phrase that was gaining a whole new meaning for Raven lately. In fact it was more like one step forward and ten steps back, to be entirely honest. Things had gone smoothly enough for a few days after Miah had shown up and had been escorted off the property in cuffs. She had spent the night in Manson’s room on his insistence and he had never treated her better. Yet it was all too soon before the peace began to crumble slowly around them.
    Soon reality caught up with them and Raven began to act distant. It wasn’t that she wanted to but she had been through a lot the past few days, Manson almost punching her not helping her nervousness around the singer. It started small, light startles whenever he touched her from behind, but grew to her flinching away whenever he touched her over even bent for a kiss. This behavior certainly didn’t help Manson with his own issues. Over the course of a few days of this, the performer was beginning to grow outright surly and was drinking even more. It was as if he was trying to hide his pain in his anger and the alcohol.
    None of this was lost on Raven, who felt like she was trapped behind a bulletproof glass barrier and being forced to watch her relationship fall apart slowly. It was getting so bad that she was beginning to even dread getting out of bed. Right now, she was laying on her back, holding Kathy to her chest and staring at her ceiling; listening to the brewing fight downstairs and trying to gather the courage to face her boyfriend.
    “Manson! Put the fucking booze down!” Jeordie screamed, his hands clasped into tight shaking fists as he stood bare inches from the performer and glared into his mismatched eyes. The rock star only glared back, taking a swig straight from the absinthe bottle just to piss off the ex-band member. Twiggy nearly leaped on his former lover right then, barely held back in time by Tim and Ginger.
    “Let him go,” came a vicious bark, startling everyone and making all the band members and Jeordie turn to look at the source. Shock was palpable in the room when they saw Pogo glaring at Tim and Ginger as if they were committing an unforgivable sin.
    “But Pogo, if we let him go...,” the drummer began to reason, still keeping a tight hold on the no longer struggling former musician.
    “Then he’ll fuckin’ beat Manson’s ass like he fuckin’ deserves,” the mohawked keyboardist bit out, his brown eyes narrowing as his gaze switched to fix on Manson. The superstar rocked in place for a split second before sneering angrily at his bandmate.
    “That won’t teach him anything and will ultimately accomplish nothing!” Ginger protested heatedly, glaring at Pogo with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
    “He’s acting like a fucking jackass Ging! Have you seen the way he’s been treating Raven lately? If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass he’s gonna lose the best thing he’s ever fucking had,” the normally jolly and mischievous male nearly livid with outright rage. His brown eyes were stony and unforgiving as he continued to glare at Manson who began to shift in place, a bit of the rage from earlier fading for a touch of fear.
    “I’m right fuckin’ here Gacy! Ya got something to say to me, then say it to my fuckin’ face,” the rock star snarled, slamming the bottle of absinthe down on the counter and spraying the overhanging cabinets with alcohol. Pogo’s eyes flashed dangerously in response before a cold smile began to curl his lips.
    At the sight of that smile, everyone in the room absolutely froze. “Madonna, don’t,” John breathed, stepping forward and placing a restraining hand his friend’s arm. The keyboardist whirled to face the guitarist, his grin growing wider and more crazy.
“Do ya really wanna get in the middle of this Fiver?” Pogo sing songed sweetly, the humor in his voice cold and angry sounding. Wisely, John simply let go and backed off; his brown eyes full of fear.
    Then he turned to face Manson, that crazy grin still on his face as he began to stalk forward. All signs of anger faded for outright fear as the normally intimidating male began to back away from the band member. “Do you really think being ill tempered, drunk and an outright jerk is gonna make Raven regain her trust in you? Do you think that she’ll stick around to be treated like shit when that’s all she’s had in her past relationships?” he growled, gradually getting louder and more heated the further he prowled forward. Manson only kept backing up, only stopping when his back hit the counter and he could go no further.
    “How do you think you’re going to act when she’s gone? Did you ever stop to think how this could literally break her, let alone you?! Do you think we want to be treated like shit because you couldn’t nut up and stop being a jerk off!” the musician continued, stopping bare inches from his body meeting the singer’s and slamming his hands down on the counter on either side on him so he was effectively trapped between the blonde’s arms.
    “Since when do you care how I treat my girlfriends?” Manson murmured, meaning to sound vitriolic but only coming across as lost and scared.
    Snarling in frustration, Pogo began slamming his open hands down on the counter to emphasize his words. “We never cared about the others because you only seemed serious about a handful of them! Do you think we’re immune to their tears or your pain when they deceive you? For fuck’s sake!” he screamed out, his nose touching the performer’s as he glared into the other man’s eyes.
    “Brian, whether you believe me or not, we care about ya man. We’ve never seen you act like you do around Raven. It’s almost as if she’s making you grow a heart and I gotta say dude, it’s an improvement. If you lose her, I don’t wanna think about what’ll happen to ya. Don’t you remember what happened after Dita left you? After you left Melinda? You fucking fell apart! You became the living embodiment of rage, you drank non-stop and made life hell for all of us! I’m honestly scared what’ll happen if you lose Raven,” Pogo continued, the rage in his voice tapering off for concern and stark fear. Manson could only stare back before slumping, his persona fading to the background for the first time in days.
    “I’m afraid of that too, Pogo. I just... her being afraid of me is fucking with me hardcore right now. Everytime she flinches from me is like a stab to my heart and then Dita... The voice that sounds like Dita starts to whisper and I can’t control myself,” the singer responded quietly, his voice small and tortured sounding.
    All at once, the rock star found himself pulled into a crushing bear hug by the mohawked keyboardist. “I know, just as I know going into your persona is a way to shield yourself from your feelings but you acting out is only making the situation worse,” the keyboardist sighed, tightening his hold slightly to hold Manson an arm’s length away from himself. The singer only sighed shakily, shaking his head slowly.
    “I know but there’s not much I can do to stop it. I need space away from her to get my head on straight but with everything that’s happened to her recently, I’m afraid to leave her alone,” the rock star admitted quietly, fear stark in his heterochromic eyes as he locked gazes with his keyboardist.
    The whispered confession made everyone in the room still, all eyes fixed on the clearly distraught male. “It’s like I’m watching myself through a glass barrier, unable to stop myself from saying the things I do,” he hissed in a shaky, tear clogged voice, his hand curling into tight, shaking fists by his sides.
    “How do I stop something that I have no control over?” he asked in a lost, quiet voice, unable to look at any of his band members out of shame. What Pogo had said wasn’t lost on him but he was at a loss for how to stop it.
    “Manson?” came a timid, female voice from the kitchen entrance, making the singer tense. Jeordie tore himself from Tim and Ginger’s loosened grips, shot a heated glare at Manson and ran over to Raven’s side. Instead of answering her, the rock star merely shoved passed her with his angry mask firmly in place.
    “Mare, please,” came a desperate plea from behind him, making the performer stop for a moment and flinch; as if he was struggling against himself.
    “I’m sorry Raven,” he murmured, barely loud enough for her to hear before he ran out the front door and slammed it behind him.
    After the dust had settled from Manson’s flight, Raven sat at the kitchen with her usual bottle of soda; looking at the plastic container listlessly. All four members of the band, as well as Twiggy, had stayed in the kitchen to keep her company; all of them worried for the quiet female. Thus far it had been a miracle that Amanda and Johnny hadn’t heard about Manson’s inexcusable behavior but if it got much worse they wouldn’t hesitate to inform them. All of them desperately hoped that, by some miracle, things would just smoothen out and go back to normal. “Does he hate me?” came a broken, small voice, shattering the somber quietness of the kitchen.
    “No sweetie, never. He’s just... He’s going through some shit right now and you’re sorta caught in the middle,” Jeordie assured, moving behind the silently crying female and placing his hands on her shuddering shoulders.
    “And me being afraid of him isn’t helping matters,” she sighed shakily. The man behind her wanted to protest but found himself unable to refute the truth of the statement. While none of this was the female’s fault, it certainly didn’t help that she would nearly jump away from Manson whenever he got near.
    “While that might be true, none of this is your fault. Manson was the one who nearly punched you after you almost got raped! A sane woman would have left a long time ago,” Pogo replied before the former guitarist could, a sad look on his pale face.
`    Raven and Jeordie looked up at the keyboardist in shock before the pale female began to get a furious look on her face. “Just because things are shit now doesn’t mean they’ll always be! I’ve seen glimpses of how Brian acts when he’s not having issues! He’s the sweetest, most loving man I’ve ever seen! You don’t leave someone just because things get a little rough! You try to work things out the best you can!” she hissed, anger sparking in her hazel eyes as she stood up as stalked towards the mohawked man.
    Pogo didn’t move an inch and by the time she finished her rant, she was standing toe to toe with the admittedly unpredictable male. “Sweetie, Bri isn’t gonna get better; he’s gonna get worse. Meeting Dita at that concert fucked him up more than any of us have seen in a long time. She’s gotten into his head and his subconscious has been whispering little things in his ear. He’s losing his grip on himself rapidly,” the keyboardist murmured in a quiet voice, his brown eyes meeting hers steadily. Raven could only stare up at him for a few moments before letting out a quiet sigh.
    “I know. I’m not blind. He’s only getting worse and being around me is only aggravating his condition. He needs to get away for a bit,” she replied in a small voice, leaning into the tall male for some comfort. Normally she would have gone to anyone but the hyper musician but he was the closest to her.
    A look of shock flitting over Pogo’s face, the black clad male loosely wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug. “There’s... something else that we have to tell you,” came a whisper from to her left. Lifting her head from the keyboardist’s chest, Raven looked up to see Ginger looking at her with concern.
    “Ging...,” Jeordie began, walking towards the drummer to stop him. Ginger only shook his head sharply in the ex-guitarist’s direction.
    “She needs to know! Or do you want her to find out the hard way,” the bleach blonde hissed, his brown eyes narrowing slightly. The dreadlocked male opened his mouth to protest but promptly closed it. Then he gave a slight nod, fixing his gaze on Raven; who was staring at both of them with confusion, curiosity and fear.
    “Manson’s been going out with other women. There have been several photos taken and it’s all over the tabloids. They even managed to somehow find this house and have gotten a few pictures of him screaming at you,” the drummer continued, his voice full of worry and sympathy.
    “Wh-what?” gasped out the stunned female, feeling as if the floor had just been yanked out from under her to reveal a yawning precipice. If it hadn’t been for Pogo holding her, the now crying female would have slipped bonelessly to her knees. As it was, she felt as if all the breath had been socked from her lungs and her heart had stopped beating in her chest; seeming to be clamped in a tight vise.
    “Easy,” Pogo soothed, moving her to sit in a chair at the kitchen table. Raven could only stare up blankly, tears flowing helplessly down her cheeks as the edge of her vision went gray. He was dating other women. Had he already gotten sick of her? Was he looking for a replacement before he broke up with her? Shuddering sobs leaving her lips unknowingly, the distraught woman began rocking back and forth. He no longer loved her!
    Suddenly she found herself in the middle of a group hug as all five men swept her into their arms. All of them made soothing sounds as they held her, Jeordie even wiping the tears from her pale cheeks. “He’s not doing this because he doesn’t love you. He’s doing this because he’s hurting and confused,” Ginger assured softly, placing a brotherly kiss on her forehead. Somehow, the words rang hollow in her head. Deep inside, she couldn’t blame him for leaving her. Other women could give him the relationship he needed, no, deserved.
    Just as Pogo was about reassure her, a gentle, almost timid knock came from the front door. Sighing, Raven pulled herself from the group and began to go to the door. All five men followed close behind, uneasy about letting her open the door by herself after recent events. When the tired, defeated feeling female opened the door, an exhalation left her lips. There, standing in the doorway, was a very abashed, scared looking Dita. “What the fuck are you doing here,” Jeordie hissed from her right, moving in front of Raven to protect her.
    “I... I read about what’s been going on in the tabloids and I think it’s my fault,” she whispered timidly, looking like a scared rabbit about to run away.
    “Well, it is,” Raven bit out, her voice full of venom as her hands unconsciously clenched into tight fists. This woman was the cause of Manson’s behavior, the reason why he was going out with other women. Just the sight of her filled the now shaking woman with rage.
    Dita winced at her words before nodding slowly. “I’m glad he’s not here then. I know you probably want me off your property but I merely came to offer advice,” the pin-up star explained, her blue eyes full of fear as she locked gazes with Raven.
    “And what in blue fuck makes you think I’d want advice from you! You are the reason he’s so fucked up emotionally!” the furious female screamed, tightening her fists and grinding her teeth together; barely able to keep herself from launching at the woman before her.
    “I’ve seen Brian at his worst, even worse than this. I can help guide you through a veritable minefield,” Dita replied quietly, not moving her gaze from the other woman’s.
    “A minefield you helped cause! Thanks but no thanks! Besides, don’t you think it’ll be even worse for me if Manson so much as gets wind you were around me?” Raven snarled, storming back inside and slamming the door behind her. As soon as the portal was shut, the overwrought female burst into heartbroken sobs, only to be once again engulfed in a group hug.
    Later that evening, Manson came stumbling into the house; a strange female on his arm. Raven, who happened to run into the hall when she heard the door open, felt her heart drop through her stomach at the sight of the unknown female. Instead of even acknowledging her existence, the rock star simply escorted the woman upstairs. Unable to take being in the same house while he fucked a prospective girlfriend, the silently sobbing female punched in a number with shaking fingers.
    Johnny hadn’t heard from Raven in a week, a fact that made the actor nervous and antsy. With how Brian had acted the last time the actor had seen him, he could only assume the worst was happening. Leaning his head back on the couch, the star closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, all of a sudden, the song ‘Dear Prudence’ began to blare from his phone. Grasping the phone and nearly dropping it in his eagerness to answer, the goateed actor pressed the deep blue object to his face. “Raven?” he breathed, his heart thudding in his chest erratically from the mere possibility of hearing her voice.
    “J-johnny, c-can I stay with you for tonight,” came a heartbroken, lost female voice from the other end, making his heart halt in her chest. ‘Oh christ, what’s Brian done now?’ he thought to himself.
    “Sure sweetie! I’ll be right over to get you,” he answered, concern thick in his baritone voice. If the singer had hurt her, there was going to be hell to pay.
    “D-don’t bother. Ging and Tim are gonna take me,” she replied, sounding as if she was on the verge of sobbing.
    “What’s going on?” Johnny asked urgently, sprinting to the door of his suite and flinging it open.
    “M-manson, h-he’s...,” she stammered, unable to continue as a sob escaped. A slight fumbling sound followed before a male voice came over the line.
    “Johnny? It’s Ginger. Manson’s gotten worse. He brought home one of the women he’s been.... ‘dating’,” came a slightly angry sounding baritone.
    “I read about that in the tabloids but I never thought he would actually... That fucking son of a bitch,” the actor snarled, jogging at a fast clip toward the elevator, jabbing the button several times with his finger several times.
    “I can’t say anything to excuse his behavior but he isn’t in his right mind right now. he’s spiraling out of control,” the drummer continued, sounding worried, exasperated and angry.
    “Just get Raven out of there as soon as you can and get that bastard out of there. If Amanda comes home and sees him with...,” the agitated star hissed, dashing into the empty elevator as soon as the doors opened.
    “Yeah, that’s why John, Twiggy and Pogo are staying. They’re gonna get him out as soon as he’s done fucking her. Right now Twiggy is packing Raven some things. We’ll be there as soon as we can,” Ginger responded before hanging up.
    Johnny glared at his deep blue phone before punching the mirrored wall of the elevator that was in front of him. A low growl left his lips as the machine practically crawled down to the lobby. Not only was he pissed at Brian but he was even more pissed at Dita for shattering their hard fought for peace. If she had never shown up, the actor was pretty sure none of this catastrophe would have ever happened. Punching the shiny wall again, the actor grit his teeth as he took deep breaths to try to calm down. When Raven arrived, he needed to be as calm as possible; the poor woman didn’t need any further stress.
    Thankfully for Raven, it only took moments for Twiggy to bring her stuff downstairs. “Twiggles?” the defeated, silently crying woman uttered in a broken voice.
    “Yes hun?” the ex-musician asked quietly, meeting her pain filled eyes steadily.
    “Make sure he stays safe?” she breathed out, sounding as if she was on the verge of breaking. Jeordie could only stare at her in astonishment, his eyes full of wonder and concern.
    “Of course,” he promised, placing a brotherly kiss on her forehead before she turned and exited through the front door.
    As soon as the entrance clicked shut, an unwelcome, male voice came from the top of the stairs. “Get this bitch outta here,” Manson snarled, nearly tossing the stunned looking female he had brought in earlier down the stairs. The blonde stumbled on her thin, red heels, looking up at the singer with a shocked, hurt look. Before the female could respond, Tim took her by the arm and gently lead her downstairs.
    “Come on, we gotta get you outta here before Amanda comes back,” John 5 whispered urgently, grabbing the rock god’s arm and trying to lead him down the stairs. Manson didn’t even growl, merely allowed himself to be lead out of the house while Pogo brought down his luggage.
    Raven stayed disturbingly silent, tears rolling down her cheeks as she stared out the window. “Hey, you okay?” Ginger asked from the back as Tim drove.
    “No Ginger, I can’t say that I am,” she whispered in a quiet, broken voice as a watery sigh escaped her. In truth, her heart currently felt like it was getting crushed as well as stabbed; making it hard for her to even draw breath. With a shaky hand, she pulled out her deep red cell phone and stared down at the shiny red surface, a contemplative, sad look on her face.
    “Raven, what are you thinking of doing?” Tim asked in his Swedish accented voice, making the other two occupants jump in surprise.
    “I... I don’t know if I can do this anymore. He’s... he’s dating other women and now he brought one home! It’s become obvious to me that he no longer wants me...,” she whispered, her voice gruff and shaky from her tears. Her small, pale hand that was holding the phone shook violently, causing the machine to jitter within her grip.
    “You couldn’t be more wrong,” rumbled Tim’s gruff response, drawing another shocked look from Raven. This was the most she had heard the bassist say, ever.
    “But, maybe you should leave,” he continued, a bit of sorrow slipping into his deep, accented voice; making both Raven and Ginger stare at him.
    “He is not thinking right. He needs time to cool down, time to think. He will only get worse if this is allowed to continue,” he explained, his brown eyes flicking over to her briefly as a grimace crossed his pale face.
    “As much as I hate to admit it, Tim’s right. He’s in a downward spiral right now, one that no one but himself can pull him out of,” Ginger sighed, turning to look at the silent female in front of him. Raven looked from Tim to the drummer, a sad, thoughtful look on her face before she glanced back down at her phone.
    As soon as the drained looking woman stepped out of the sleek, sports car, Johnny enveloped her in a tight hug, one of his hand tangling in her hair while the other rested in the small of her back. As soon as his hands met her, she burst into loud, ragged sobs; burrowing her face in his shirt covered chest. “Johnny, tonight’s gonna be rough; for both of them,” Ginger warned from the rear window before the car roared off. Not wasting any time, the handsome actor lead her into the hotel.
    Once he got her into his suite, he lead her to the couch and had her sit down. “What’s going on?” he asked in a quiet voice, sitting next to her and looking at her with concern clear on his face.
    “I... I have to break up with Manson,” she gasped out, sounding as if just saying those words was ripping her heart out of her chest. Johnny only stared down at her in response, a stunned look on his pale face. While he agreed with her after everything that had happened, he was still stunned to hear her say it.
    “It’s okay sweetie... I’ll be right here,” he whispered, tugging her against his side and running a hand through her ebony hair. The shaking female rested her head on the black material covering his shoulder, heaving a watery sigh.
    “How am I going to live without him? How will I find the strength to go on?” she whispered in a broken voice, tears flowing freely down her milky cheeks.
    “This isn’t going to be permanent, is it?” he asked in a worried voice, looking down at the distraught female next to him.
    “I think it would be best if it was, mainly for him. He needs someone who can actually give him the physical relationship he needs,” she whispered sitting up to stare down at her crimson phone apprehensively.
    “Raven...,” the actor began, only to stop when Raven held up a shaking hand.
    “Don’t try to talk me out of it, I need to do this much for him,” she hissed in a shaky voice as she flipped open her phone and hit Manson’s number.
    Manson was ensconced in the back of taxi,Twiggy on one side and John on the other. Pogo sat up front with the driver. A sudden, familiar ringtone broke the heavy silence and Manson looked down at the ringing object with faint dread. He had an idea of why she was calling and felt his heart beat in his chest from fear. After a few moments, he flipped the machine open and brought it to his ear. “Raven?” he whispered, fear faintly tinging his baritone voice as his hand began to shake.
    Raven took in a deep breath before beginning to sing. “Fuck you because I loved you. Fuck you for loving you too. I don’t need a reason to hate you the way I do,” she hissed, forcing false anger and venom into her voice as she fairly spat the words into the phone.
    “Raven,” he gasped out in a pained voice, rocking backwards in the seat like he had been punched. His heterochromic eyes closed as tears began to roll down his naked cheeks.
    Just hearing the pain in his voice was almost enough to make her call it off but she gathered her scant resolve and continued, somehow managing to still sound angry and betrayed. “Fuck you because I loved you. Fuck you for loving you too. I don’t need a reason to hate you the way I do!” she snarled, nearly screaming the last line and allowing the song to taper off to silence. Closing her eyes tightly, her heart thudded in her ears as she awaited his response. After a few moments of silence, Manson began to sing in return.
    “The ants are in the sugar. The muscles atrophied. We’re on the other side, the screen is us and we’re T.V,” he uttered in a haunting voice, nearly drawing a ragged gasp from her. Raven recognized the song and it made her heart lurch in her chest.
    “Spread me open, sticking to my pointy ribs are all your infants in abortion cribs. I was born into this, everything turns to shit. The boy who you loved is the man that you fear,” he continued sounding lost as well as apologetic, making Raven close her eyes tightly.
    “Pray until your number, asleep from all your pain, your apple has been rotting. Tomorrow’s turned up dead. I have it all and I have no choice but to. I’ll make everyone pay and you will see,” he sighed, his voice sounding hollow and full of heartbreak. Just hearing that, it took everything Raven had not to simply apologize; to say she hadn’t meant it.
    “You can kill yourself now because you’re dead in my mind. The boy that you loved is the monster you fear,” he hissed out, his voice growing self depreciating.
    “Peel off all those eyes, crawl into the dark, you poison all your children to camouflage your scars. Pray unto your splinters, pray unto your fear. Pray your life was just a dream, the cut that never heals!” he belted out suddenly, sounding almost as if he was sobbing the last few lines.
    “Pray now baby, pray your life was just a dream. The world in my hands, there's no one left to hear you scream. No one left for you,” he finished, his voice wavering.
    “I love you Raven. I’ll never forget you,” he whispered before the line went dead.
    The shaken, sobbing female stared down at the silent phone, shaking in place as her throat began to clog with tears. Letting out a loud, despair filled wail, the black haired female flung herself into Johnny’s waiting arms and began to sob. “Tell me I did the right thing! Tell me he’ll be okay,” she begged breathlessly between sobs. The actor only pet her hair in response, making soothing noises. A sudden knock on the door broke the moment and startled the pair badly.
    Moving towards the door with Raven right behind him, the movie star slowly opened the door to reveal Dita. Before Raven could say anything, the model held up her hands in surrender. “I know you don’t like me and for good reason but I just want to help,” the pin-up star assured, fear in her blue eyes as she looked up at the angry looking Johnny.
    “Well you’re too late, it’s over,” Raven whispered in a broken voice before unexpectedly flinging herself into Dita’s arms and beginning to cry.
    “I had to break up with him,” she gasped into the other woman’s pale shoulder, earning a shocked gasp from the model.
    “What happened?” she whispered, slowly moving the still shaking woman back into the suite, ignoring the glare from the actor. Hiccuping softly, Raven began to tell Dita the whole tale.

THE END (of Part 1)
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Tainted Love