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Bittersweet	By : TaimaMarie Category: Reality TV > Jackass Views: 2004 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Ville Valo, Raab, Dico, or any other celebrity mentioned. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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AN: Ero, pluska, thanks for the reviews! Ero, I always say I get up at dark o' clock to get up for school. In the wintertime, it's only a slight exaggeration. Why do I keep scheduling nine am classes again? Haha, my boyfriend's favorite way to wake me up is to really roll into me with his shoulders. He also thinks it's funny to wake up when I get up in the middle of the night to piss (which I do often. I have a tiiiiiiiny bladder) and listen to me stumble around in the dark. I run into stuff all the time.
"I'm glad I didn't wake you up last night."
"You mean when you ran into my bookshelf and stood there swearing for a good minute? I was awake. I was waiting for you to come to bed. Then I was trying not to laugh."
"...Ass."
I like Steve-O and all, but I don't know if I could ever actually be friends with that kid, hahah. I've actually written smut in class before, and the teacher's were none the wiser.
"Oh, Tai, you're always writing such good notes!"
...Notes. Riiiight.
pluska, it's because I go to community college. It's the Wal-Mart of higher education, lol. I think the teacher is just happy with the amount of writing I do.
Okay guys, this might actually be the LAST CHAPTER! I haven't decided. Your thoughts?

The days slowly passed them by. Lenny and Bam discovered they could go to bed any time they felt like it, curling towards one another in the center of the mattress while the fire burned low. They found they could wake up at six in the morning or two in the afternoon. They could eat peanut butter straight from the jar, or they could roast chicken in the ancient oven.

Bam loved the days when they were lazy best. He could roll over and look at her, sleeping still in the weak winter light that struggled to come in through the raggedy curtains. He could bend and kiss her forehead until her eyes opened. They could make love for hours.

It was the kind of love making that they didn't often get to enjoy. Normally they fucked hard and fast, before they were too exhausted to want to do it anymore, and before someone needed something from one of them. There had been times when he was just about to pull his pants off when his phone rang, something important.

Lenny should have felt neglected, Bam thought. She should have turned and left him, should have known that she deserved something better than what he could give her. Something better than the way they lived. Lucky for him she didn't seem to understand those things, lucky for him that even if she did, she stayed anyway.

They could make love in the winter sun for hours, mapping out their flesh with tongues and fingers. They could press their lips to one another's ears and breathe out all the words of love and worship that they never got a chance to say out loud. There were some things, the man thought, that you didn't say in front of your pals. There were some things that were supposed to be kept for private moments.

This love making, he thought, was unlike anything else he had ever felt. It was this slow climb to ecstasy that made him realize just how much he loved her. With every other woman he had laid down with, it was so frantic and desperate. He was chasing an orgasm, chasing something to fill the emptiness inside of him.

But with her, it was more like getting to know her inside and out. It was affirmation that they belonged together. It was perfect. Never before in his life had he found something so perfect. The question was on his lips at least two hundred times while they were there. Would she marry him? Please say yes.

But always Bam reined himself in. It wouldn't do to push her. She needed to tell him when she was ready in her own time, and not his, as much as he hated that.

Later, they could lay in bed, talking about all the things they had never known. Bam never knew she was afraid of zombies because of watching a movie late at night when no one was home with her. Lenny had never known that Bam got a shiver down his spine even if he saw a rubber snake. He had never known that she wore blue to her brother's funeral, not black, because she refused to think of the tragedy of losing him, and instead wanted to focus on all the things that he had managed to do in his short life. She didn't know that he was terrified of losing his grandparents, was frightened to live without the love and support that they had given him.

When they were hungry enough to be bothered with eating, Lenny would get out of bed, shivering and wrapped only in a sheet. They didn't start a fire on those days, preferring to huddle close to each other under the blankets for warmth. She'd get a jar of peanut butter and two spoons, bottles of Coke, cookies, and maybe some lunch meat. They'd feed one another, sucking the sticky goo off spoons and fingers, sipping from the bottles held in loving hands.

Sometimes when Lenny was asleep, Bam would lay awake to look at her. He'd gently stroke her hair, surprised as always that it could be so soft and smooth. He'd inhale her soft, pretty scent. It was a smell that had come to comfort him instantly. He would run his fingers down her face, letting the tingle run up his arm as he did so.

Late one evening, Lenny was wearing a pair of leggings and one of Bam's old button down shirts. She was staring at the fire, feeling the warmth seep into her bones. She hadn't realized how very cold it was back home in West Chester. She hadn't realized how lonely she had been feeling.

Was that silly, she wondered. Was it silly to feel lonely when you lived in a house stuffed with people? When you lived with the man who loved you, when you were always surrounded by everything you could want? Was it just ridiculous to feel lonely in that case?

“What are you doing, Len?” Bam looked up from her laptop, which they had brought into the house to watch movies and listen to music.

“I think we need to dance.”

“Dance?” Bam repeated, sliding off the bed.

“We never dance anymore, Bam.”

“You dance all the time in the kitchen when you're making breakfast and dinner.” he shook his head.

“But you don't dance with me, do you?” she smiled and held out both her hands. Bam walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. She rested her cheek against his chest as they swayed in time with the music, not going any place in particular as some music from her lap top played.

“I don't know what I would do without you.”

“I know,” he rested his chin on top of her head. They continued to sway, completely wrapped up in one another.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes,” he said without thinking, without questioning her. Sometimes she needed reassurance of the things he thought were ingrained in her soul. But that was just the sort of girl Lenny was, and he loved her anyway.

She said nothing, only stood on tiptoe to kiss him. He lifted her up, her legs around his waist, to carry her to bed. He dropped her down, watching her giggle as she bounced. Bam spread himself across her, cupping the back of her head in his palms.

“I love you so much that I would melt the snow if you wanted me to. I love you so much, I would pull down the stars for you.”

“You would?”

“Any star you asked me to.”

**

Their last night there in the cabin, tucked safely away in the snow away from the rush and light of the rest of the world, Lenny couldn't sleep. It was strange, the whole time they were there, she had found sleep incredibly easy. She could lay back and close her eyes, and instantly she was done. Bam was snoring in the bed, his arm thrown over her empty space as though he held her still.

She laid in front of the fire. It would go out soon if she didn't toss another log onto it. But moving was difficult as she stared through the space between the curtains to the slice of night sky. She could almost count the stars.

She heard the rustle from the bed. Felt more than saw Bam padding over her to, kneeling next to her and quietly looking out the window. He wanted to know what she was doing, but knew better than to interrupt her if she was thinking about something important.

He leaned across her to settle some more wood on the weak flames, coaxed them back to life. Finally, he could stand it no longer. She smirked when he began to fidget.

“Why aren't you in bed?”

“I can't sleep.”

“Why can't you sleep?” this was typical Helena behavior. She only answered the direct question, never told you what you really wanted to hear unless you asked her point blank. It was both endearing and frustrating.

“Because we're not married.”

“You can't sleep because we're not married.” he repeated.

“Yeah.” she sat up. “Ask me to marry you, Bam.”

“Helena--,” he began. She cut him off, fumbling for the clasp on her chain.

“No, you have to ask me to marry you.” he reached for her trembling hands, undid the chain himself. He slid the ring off the necklace and felt it's weight in his palm. For the first time ever, he realized how heavy it actually was.

“You don't have to.”

“Yes. I do.” they locked eyes and she stood up. Bam remained on his knees.

“Helena Elisabeth Dawson, will you marry me?” it wasn't like the previous time, full of grandeur and a speech. Full of people to stare at them. This time, it was just the two of them, alone, with only the fire and the stars to look down at them. It was just him, asking her, begging her, pleading her to marry him.

“Yes, Bam. I'll marry you.” she whispered.
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Bittersweet