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Miwaku no Zakuro	By : Tcharlatan Category: > Kyo/Kaoru Views: 2861 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not personally know any of the members of Dir en grey, X Japan, or KISAKI, and do not profit from this work.

Chapter List
- 28
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- 30
Black and blue dreadlock extensions bobbed as Toshiya bounced impatiently on the balls of his feet, waiting for access to the master bedroom. Fridays had become something of a treat for him in the past couple weeks; Kaoru had begun allowing Kyo to accompany them out to the club, and had granted Toshiya permission to dress the blonde for the occasions. He had always felt that fashion design was one of his few skill sets – if not the only one – that had nothing to do with vice or sin. It was a legitimate talent, born of his heart and his mind, rather than sordid expertise picked up from too many years on the street like everything else he did, and he savored every opportunity to exercise it.
And he found that Kyo was a particularly satisfying model. The younger man was generally very pliant to his whims, and could be made to look good in just about anything Toshiya put on him. The first time they’d taken him out, he’d dressed the younger man in black slacks and a white dress shirt with a long, straight-cut black jacket over it. With his hair combed tidily, soft and straight around his face, wearing his thick-rimmed reading glasses, Kyo had appeared every inch a sweet, innocent little nerd. Last week, it had been a sleeveless orange tee-shirt with black writing scrawled across the front, baggy black pants, and a black and red tie. A black fedora had finished off a cool, confident look that spoke of nothing so much as cocksure masculinity. Toshiya was quite excited for the outfit he’d put together for this evening; it was something again entirely new.
Except that he’d been stuck waiting in the hall of the master suite for almost half an hour now.
‘What the hell is taking so long?’
A more reasonable part of him supposed that showing up an hour early did run a significant risk of having to wait for an hour. He ignored that part. The rest of him was impatient and excited for a night of fun after a long, stressful work week, and that was the part driving him at the moment. Hearing a soft murmur of voices from the other side of the bedroom door, he leaned over and pressed his ear to the wood, unabashedly curious. He’d originally thought that Kyo simply opted not to speak in Kaoru’s presence whenever he could help it, possibly as a result of the time he’d spent with the training collar on. As time went on, he came to understand that Kaoru and Kyo actually spoke quite frequently when they were alone; the blonde just tended to stay quiet in group settings, vastly preferring one-on-one conversations.
“-ave to go like this?” That was Kyo’s voice, sounding put out.
Kaoru’s response was stern but vaguely amused. “So you don’t forget who you belong to while we’re out and about.”
“Isn’t the collar enough? And you chained me to the table last time; I don’t think I’m going to forget my place any time soon.”
There was Kaoru’s lazy chuckle. “I didn’t like how that waitress was looking at you. Think of it as a chastity belt.”
‘Ah, he’s tying the little bugger up for the evening.’
Toshiya knew the shibari torso harness design well enough; Kaoru had used it on the blonde the night of the Christmas party, and both nights that they had taken him to the club so far. It wasn’t so elaborate as Kaoru’s usual projects, but the bottom section of it formed a possessive casing around the base of Kyo’s cock and ran a double band of soft rope between his ass cheeks. Finished off with a complicated knot at the small of the back that only Kaoru – or someone with an equivalent knowledge of rope play – could undo, it served as an effective barrier around the man’s treasured property. Kyo’s range of motion would not be impaired, but his mind would never be able to drift far from the awareness of his binding, and he certainly wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone with it on.
“…”
“Oh, don’t make that face. You go wearing this or you don’t go at all, that was the deal.” Kaoru’s voice dropped to a coy purr, lowering slightly in volume. “Besides, you seemed to like how I tied you up last night just fine.”
“That was… it’s not the same…” Toshiya could hear the blush staining the blonde’s cheeks in his voice. “It’s different, in that room…”
“Is that so? Why then, I wonder, is it having the same effect?”
“Nh!”
Toshiya felt a voyeuristic little shiver at Kyo’s breathy grunt, a soft whimper underscoring the sound.
“Kyo… lay down.”
“M-…master?”
“On your back, facing me. I want you to touch yourself for me.”
‘…What?’
‘Oh, no way!’
There was a brief silence, during which Toshiya bit his lip with ill-contained anticipation, then the soft creak of bedsprings as a body slowly crawled across a mattress.
‘Ho-ly shit… I need to show up early more often…’
“What do you want me to do?”
“Whatever gets you off, pet. I want you to masturbate for me.”
“But Master… the rope…”
“You’ll just have to work around it.”
Toshiya was absolutely enthralled. It wasn’t so much that he was interested in either man sexually; on the rare occasions that he could be honest with himself, he had little to no real interest in sex anymore. But the way that Kaoru and Kyo interacted never failed to fascinate him. Kaoru maintained a delicate balance of affection and selfish dominance over his pet; he took care of Kyo, and saw to it that the blonde was kept reasonably happy, but he never let the younger man forget exactly what he was to him. Kyo, on the other hand, seemed to swing precariously on the narrow line between harrowed uncertainty and the pressing need to please his master; always unsure of his place, of his exact boundaries, but fairly secure in his knowledge of himself and what people tended to find attractive about him.
Both men were ever-shifting, chaotic beings of duality and paradox, but somehow all of their inherent contradictions seemed to mesh into one another flawlessly. Kyo appeared to feed upon Kaoru’s every reaction to him, and Toshiya had never seen anyone catch and keep Kaoru’s attention so easily as Kyo could, simply by walking into the room. And yet, for all of that, it was painfully obvious by their exchanges that there was no love between them; Kyo took care of Kaoru because it was his only real purpose, and Kaoru took care of Kyo because it gave him peace at the end of the day.
And so, it was with a purely inquisitive motivation that Toshiya stood pressed against Kaoru’s bedroom door, listening to Kyo masturbate for his master’s viewing pleasure. He listened to the muted sounds of flesh sliding over flesh, almost inaudible under the panting and faint groaning that the blonde tried so hard to suppress, and his experienced imagination drew up the scene for him. Kaoru was probably sitting in that cushy chair of his, one ankle resting on the opposite knee, chin in one hand as he watched his pet with that ineffable air of superiority that he always seemed to possess. Kyo would be on the bed, legs spread wide to afford his master a proper view, nude but for the single black rope so artfully wound about his torso and hips, fondling himself and blushing madly for his own wanton display. Trying not to enjoy himself and failing miserably.
As the sounds ramped up in intensity, Toshiya wondered absently – not for the first time – if Kyo was the best actor he’d ever known, or the worst. He strongly suspected it was the latter, and that what little they saw in the younger man’s face and heard in his voice was legitimate. Certainly he had little reason to pretend to feel the way he appeared to most of the time – timidity, irritation, stubbornness, curiosity; none of them benefited him in the regard of Kaoru or his “brothers.” The apparent honesty and intensity of the blonde’s moods was an appealing factor for Kaoru, who detested the pretenses and false affections of his usual courtesan companions.
Toshiya followed the rhythm of the noises – the harsh panting, the protesting bedsprings, the strangled moans – and knew instinctively that Kyo was on the verge of release. Just a couple more strokes an-
“Stop.”
Kaoru’s voice was so stern, so sudden, that Toshiya jumped a little. Kyo answered with a keening whine, tinged with neediness now that he had been brought so close.
“M-Master?!”
“Hands off.”
“Kaoru, please, I-”
“Now,” Kaoru growled possessively. “…There’s a good boy. Hmm… you’re really quite beautiful like this, you know?”
“Master, please, it hurts, I can’t-… I need-… nnnh!”
“Oh? And is that what’s important? Your needs? Or mine?”
Kyo’s answer was immediate, breathless and shaking in desperation. “Yours, Master, always yours, only yours… please… please, Master, tell me what you need?”
“Come here, pet.” A clumsy squeak of bedsprings, then soft footfalls. “On your knees.” A muffled thud. “You know what to do.” A soft clatter of a belt buckle, then a sharp, rasping zipper. “…Mmmnnnh… good boy…”
Listening to Kyo give Kaoru head was absolutely surreal for Toshiya. He had known intellectually, of course, that a major part of the blonde’s function was to pleasure Kaoru sexually. But somehow their mostly-chaste behavior in public, combined with Kyo’s generally reticent sort of wariness, had put something of a filter over the truth of their relationship. Toshiya’s more cynical side had assumed that Kaoru was simply bending the blonde over and using him for one-sided pleasure, while his romanticist side imagined passionate romps made all the more striking by Kaoru’s sinful nature contrasting with Kyo’s apparent innocence. The reality of it – Kaoru’s methods of control, the way that pleasure was exchanged and bargained for to encourage more eager obedience – was a startling deviation from either scenario.
He listened as Kaoru hit his peak with a groan and a muted expletive. There was a moment of silence, then the faint creak of a chair, before Toshiya heard Kyo gasp and bite back a moan. Some frantic panting, a breathy plea, and a handful of harsh grunts later, the blonde was crying out his release as well, much louder than his master had been. The next words were whispered so softly, Toshiya wasn’t even sure he heard them properly.
“Th-… thank you, Kaoru…”
That lazy chuckle rumbled through the air again, followed by a sigh and the sound of a hand lightly patting bare skin. “Come on, little one, let’s get you cleaned up. Toshiya will be here any-”
Toshiya straightened and knocked loudly on the door. He knew full well that now that it had been brought up, they would be listening for his footsteps on the hall, and he would be caught when he showed up unheralded. Kaoru hated it when he eavesdropped. This way, they would assume he’d just arrived on the tail end of their activities, unheard while they had been coming down from their respective orgasms.
“Hello, anybody home? Open up, lovelies, it’s time to get dressed!”
~*~
Appearances were important. Toshiya knew that he had a role to play, even in casual outings like this, as the director of Kaoru’s courtesans, whores, strippers, drug dealers and the facilities that housed them; as the Queen Bitch, as Die liked to call him. It was an unspoken rule that he should never be grubby, never be plain when he was out on the town. Even if Kaoru would never chastise him for it, he knew that it would be a severe lapse in the façade that someone in his position was supposed to put forward. He would never complain – the others were held to similar scrutiny, even Kaoru himself – but he had to always be mindful of how he conducted himself, and how his every action might be construed by prying eyes.
‘Have to play all these damn games just to get a minute alone…’
He had to lean over the table, nearly shouting at his boss to be heard over the din of the club’s dance music. “Ne, Kaoru… can Kyo come dance with me?”
Kaoru paused halfway through sipping his rum and coke, and glanced down at his pet thoughtfully. Kyo had caught the question, and now looked up at him hopefully. He frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t want him getting fondled by a bunch of grubby thugs.”
“Oh, c’mon, Kao. Why bother bringing him out here if you’re not going to let him have a little fun?” Toshiya whined.
Kyo bit his lip and slid up Kaoru’s side, one hand resting flat against his master’s chest to whisper coyly into his ear, then sat back to stare up at him expectantly. Toshiya had no way of knowing what was said, but he could tell it had a significant effect on Kaoru. The older man raised an eyebrow at the blonde, eyes going black with intrigue and… excitement, perhaps? Whatever Kyo had said, it struck a chord.
Eventually, Kaoru looked back to Toshiya. “You stay where I can see you both. And keep an eye on him.”
Meaning, of course, that he was to keep wandering hands off of the man’s property and make sure that Kyo didn’t run off. It would be the first time Kyo was allowed to wander from Kaoru’s side outside of the mansion grounds.
“You know I will,” Toshiya promised.
“And you…” Kaoru caught Kyo’s chin and stared him down intently. “If I catch anyone other than Toshiya touching you, I’ll have to spend the rest of my evening breaking every bone in their hands one by one. That way, I’ll be calmed down enough that I can take the time to punish you properly.”
The words had their intended effect: Kyo shuddered a bit, and nodded earnestly. Kaoru held his gaze for a moment longer before moving aside to let his pet up out of the booth. Toshiya beamed and caught the younger man’s hand, weaving skillfully through the crowd to drag him out onto the dance floor. When he found a spot he liked, he pulled the blonde against himself with a wicked grin, his entire body moving with instinctive sensuality to the beat of the music pounding around them. Apparently this was Kyo’s comfort zone as well; he responded immediately in kind, letting his hands rest intimately on Toshiya’s shoulder and hip as they moved together. The blue-haired man caught more than a few interested glances shot their way, and took a moment to congratulate himself once again on his work prepping Kyo for the evening.
It had taken everything he had, but Toshiya had eventually managed to make Kyo look passably androgynous, though not entirely feminine. The blonde’s hair was done up in soft spikes, accented with black feathers and held out of his face with a broad black band. He wore subtle eyeshadow, stark black eyeliner making his eyes appear more exotic and narrow than they were, and his already pale complexion from months away from the sun was fully washed out with geisha white, contrast added by a delicate little design drawn between his brows and the dark purple lining his full lips. A long, black garment somewhere between a robe and a dress hugged his frame elegantly, a delicate capelette disguising his masculine shoulders while a cincher emphasized his narrow waist. A large, pink dragon was embroidered on the skirt, and the whole thing was embellished with designs made of glo-sticks.
“What did you say to Kaoru to change his mind?” Toshiya wondered against the younger man’s ear.
Kyo’s mouth twitched up in a faint smile, leaning up to respond, “I promised to give Him a good show… and told Him that when I’m dancing, I can’t think of anything other than His rope between my legs.”
Toshiya was laughing before the blonde even finished.
‘Yeah, I can see how that shit would motivate Kao…’
Kyo smirked and spun, pressing his back against Toshiya’s chest and looping his arms around the taller man’s neck as his hips swung. He flashed his master a sultry wink across the room to assure that he meant to keep his promise before tipping his head back to continue talking. “What did you want me for, Totchi? You’re not exactly short on willing dance partners.”
Toshiya slid his hands down to grasp the blonde’s waist, grinding against him in a rhythmic, almost vulgar pantomime that in no way matched the strain in his voice. “I need your help with Die, I… I’m starting to lose it, I think. I just… I want him so much it hurts! I’ve tried so hard to make myself give up on him, to just be happy loving him as a brother, and I just… I can’t do it anymore.”
“What do you want me to do?”
A quieter corner of Toshiya’s mind snatched up those words, turning them over and over like a curious artifact. It was the second time that day he’d heard Kyo utter that exact same question, but it seemed to carry a completely different weight this time around. When spoken to Kaoru, it was a baring of the neck; a submissive gesture displaying willingness to serve and to please in recognition of his master’s dominance. With Toshiya, it became an open hand; an offer of help to a friend in need, conveying an odd sort of strength and affection.
The rest of Toshiya’s mind was busy with other problems. He tipped his head, running his tongue suggestively through the air a scant millimeter away from the blonde’s cheek, then whispering, “I need you to use your freaky mind-reading powers on him and find out if he likes me.”
The comment startled a laugh out of Kyo, and Toshiya was a little proud of himself. Though the blonde’s smile had become a slightly more common occurrence since the holidays, it was always just a little strained, and he never laughed. The blue-haired man found he liked the sound of it.
Kyo turned again, threading one hand through Toshiya’s dread extensions and tugging him down by them as his body twisted with the music. “‘Mind-reading powers’?”
“Yes! Freaky ones, use them!”
“Totchi… I can’t read minds.”
Toshiya looked stricken. “Of course you can. How else could you keep figuring out everybody’s secrets?”
“I just have a lot of free time to think about the things you guys do and say, that’s all. Have you tried just talking to him? Die doesn’t like games like these, you know, he appreciates honesty.”
“But what if he’s not interested? What if it just freaks him out?!”
Kyo slipped a shrug into his dancing. “Even if he’s not into you that way, I’m sure he cares about you enough not to let it ruin your friendship. I had it bad for Kisaki for a while, and he knew it, but neither of us let it sour the relationship we did have, and it faded away in time. I’m sure if worst came to worst, and your feelings weren’t returned, Die would do everything he could to keep from hurting you.”
‘…Oh hell… he was in love with that stupid wanker once?’
‘Poor little kitten…’
‘Kao’s much better for him, I think.’
His romanticist side again, always hoping for the improbable love story to come out of the darkness they lived in. It had been unusually noisy lately, which was perhaps how they came to be having this conversation.
Toshiya gave a slightly strained laugh, running his hands down Kyo’s sides and arching against him. “Well yeah, but what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, Die! I just noticed - I’m sexy, you’re sexy… you wanna fuck around?’”
Kyo rolled his eyes a bit. “Oh please. You know how to get people into your bed. Hell, you’re not even trying right now and half the people in this room want you.”
Toshiya deflated a little. “That’s… that’s just it though. I don’t really want to sleep with Die. I mean… he’s gorgeous, and I… I’m sure I would enjoy it, but when I imagine us together… that’s not what I want with him.”
“What do you want, then?”
“I don’t know! I… what we have now, I guess, only… more? I don’t know. I just… every time he’s in the room, I just wish he was… holding me. Kissing me, even. I just want to be close to him all the time. But I don’t know how to ask him for any of that; I’ve never… dated anyone before.”
Kyo’s eyebrows rose. “…Seriously? Never?”
Toshiya shook his head. “I was kind of a loser growing up. All my friends were girls, but I was just a playmate to them, and by the time I was old enough to be interested in sex at all, I was selling it. I’ve only ever slept with people for money.”
“Gods, I thought Shinya was the only virgin in the family…”
Toshiya gave him a bizarre sort of look. “‘Virgin’? Are you kidding? Between him and me, we’ve probably had more sex than everyone else in this room combined.”
Kyo shook his head, holding up three fingers as he went into an enviable display of popping and locking. “There are three ways two people can be intimate, and they’re all very different experiences. Being fucked is one-sided, and purely physical. Having sex is two-sided, but also purely physical. Making love is two-sided, and emotional and physical. You’re a virgin until you’ve had sex and made love, at least once. Shinya’s only ever been fucked, so he’s oh-for-two, and you’ve only been fucked and had sex, so you’re one-for-two.”
Toshiya blinked, absolutely dumbfounded, forgetting for a split second that he was supposed to be dancing.
“Physically, you’re dirtier than a magazine in a black vinyl bag, but emotionally you’re pure as fresh-fallen snow,” Kyo asserted, then quirked a half grin at the inadvertent setup for pun. “So you still count as a virgin in that regard until Die… eh… ‘plows’ you. Or, you know, someone else you love.”
Toshiya thought on that as he resumed his motions, letting his body fall back into the familiar rhythm of seduction. It made a weird sort of sense, and he found he really liked the idea that some part of himself could be considered “pure”… that he had something untouched he could actually give to Die, if offered the chance. He grinned, suddenly feeling much better. “You know, Shinya said he’s been spending a lot of his lunches hanging out with you… is this the kind of thing you guys talk about?”
If so, he could see the appeal.
“Sometimes, but not always. We play video games some days, or watch television shows. Tuesday he showed me this weird way of folding tee-shirts, and yesterday I taught him how to make cherries jubilee. We almost set the kitchen on fire.”
“Was that that thing you made for Kao’s birthday dessert?”
“Mmhmm. It’s my favorite.”
“Oh man, that shit was so good! Maybe Shin can make some for your birthday too, since you taught him? He loves cooking for people, I think.”
Kyo looked a little uncomfortable. “…Aa, he does…”
Toshiya was excited by the idea of doing something for his littlest brother. “I’ll tell him! When’s your birthday? I bet Kao will give you the day off, we can have a party!”
“…” Kyo gave a somewhat forced smile. “It’s February 16^th.”
Toshiya felt a faint little stab of guilt pang in his stomach. “The day before Kaoru’s? But his was… yesterday… your birthday was on Wednesday?”
“Yeah. I turned twenty-four.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?!”
Kyo shrugged. “It… didn’t seem important.”
“Oh, little brother! You sh- HGN!”
Toshiya choked on whatever he had been planning to say as something far sharper than guilt shredded through his abdomen, starting at his back and pressing through to his front. Pain spread through him like fire, burning its way out from his core along every nerve in his body until his every muscle quivered under the strain of it. It hurt so damn bad, hit him so abruptly, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but stand there frozen in absolute shock.
“Toshiya?” Kyo’s voice was a low buzz nearby, barely registering over the static suddenly fizzing in his head. “Totchi, what’s wrong?”
He managed to take a staggering step away from the younger man and looked down, staring blankly at the four centimeters of steel protruding from just under his ribs, spearing him from back to front. Someone had… stabbed him? Run him straight through in the middle of a crowded dance floor? It was inconceivable, but the proof was there, holding him skewered. Kyo had been shielded from the tip of the blade by the thick fabric of his waist cincher, and some disjointed corner of Toshiya’s mind that wasn’t currently screaming in stunned agony was glad for that. Kaoru would have been pissed if he’d let the man’s precious pet be damaged. People around them continued dancing, apparently completely unaware of the assault.
“Oh gods!” Kyo breathed, a little hysterically, staring at the rapidly-spreading patch of dark wetness on Toshiya’s shirt. “Toshiya?! What-”
There was a sudden jerk as the blade sucked back out of the blue-haired man, and it seemed to pull all of his energy out with it. Toshiya gasped thickly, tasting copper on the back of his tongue, but it felt like he was inhaling razor blades. The fire flared wildly and even as his vision went white around the edges, he realized that he was falling, his legs suddenly useless beneath him. A few people started to notice him then, moving awkwardly away from his prone form, still not really comprehending. Oddly enough, he didn’t even feel it when he hit the ground. Maybe it was just because he already hurt so badly, his brain was refusing to acknowledge any other pains.
His fingers curled into straining claws, hovering uselessly over the gaping wound in his stomach, and he fought to breathe through blood pooling in his throat, in his mouth, in his lungs. He caught sight of a man he didn’t recognize staring down at him, tucking a blood-stained knife discretely back into one sleeve, before another gasp shredded through his chest and blinded him with pain. It felt like his entire chest was caving in on itself; he was trying desperately to breathe as his body screamed for oxygen, but it hurt so damn bad and he was choking on thick, sanguineous copper. He swam, lost, through the agony, just barely hearing a distant Kyo-buzz under the frantic beating of his own heart.
“Toshiya?! TOSHIYA?! Oh gods, Totchi, hang on, just… just hang on! Don’t die! HELP! WE NEED HELP!”
He was falling, he realized. The further down he got, the darker everything started to be, and a sudden chill washed over him. The world was staring to fade; the music… Kyo’s voice… the hands grasping at his body… the smell of smoke and sweat… the taste of blood… the pain… until nothing was left but dull static and blackness. Then the static cut out as well, and there was nothing.
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Miwaku no Zakuro