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Let Me Touch You	By : ElizabethAshbury Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Korn Views: 4011 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Korn. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Ch 1
- 2-Ch 2
- 3-Ch 3
- 4-Ch 4
- 5-Ch 5
- 6-ch 6
- 7-ch 7
- 2
- 3
- 4
*********************************************************************
Sam looked like shit. We sat down in the living room at the coffee table where Sam had iced my bruises yesterday. Today it looked like his lip needed the same treatment. There was dried blood around it.

“Mind if I ask what happened?”

“To what?” He was out of it.

“Your lip. It’s awfully fat today.”

“Oh, shit,” he reached up to touch it. “Ow! I got in a fight last night.”

“Have you put anything on it?”

“No, I just woke up.”

“Don’t you think you should?”

“I dunno.”

“Let me get you some ice for it.” That thing was looking nasty.

“Bags are in the drawer…by the fridge.”

He was hung over. I could tell, I smelled it on him too. He probably drove home too. Dumbass. If he only knew how many drunk drivers I had seen in the morgue. I found the plastic bags and filled them with ice. I wrapped a paper towel around it and took it to him.

“So did you get in a fight at Matt’s party?”

He looked surprised as he took the ice bag from my hand. “How did you know about that?”

“Oh, please. Nobody could shut up about it yesterday.”

“Yeah, it was there. Chris and I got into it.”

“Hm. How funny.”

“Funny?”

“Yeah, remember yesterday afternoon? It was Chris and Matt.”

“Oh…” He didn’t look too surprised. I wondered if he already knew, or maybe he just knew Chris too well. The guy was known for starting fights.

“So…shall we get started?”

Sam groaned. “Not yet…I feel like shit.”

“Yeah, you’re sweating that beer aren’t you?”

He groaned again. “I drank too fast.”

“Hold on…” I went to the kitchen again. This time coming back with a glass of ice water.

“Thanks. You’re a good man.”

That felt good. I had never heard that before, EVER! I played it off though.

“No problem. You need to rehydrate. Besides, you helped me.” He drank slowly. I sat down on the floor next to him. I let him finish a few sips of water. He set the glass down.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

“Okay…” we began the homework assignment. I never realized he had such trouble. He never said anything in class. He hardly talked at all. I was able to help some it seemed. At least he understood it better. I asked him why he hadn’t asked for help sooner.

“Ms. Moore is such a bitch…I wouldn’t ask her to piss on me if I was on fire!”

He didn’t realize what he said was funny until I roared with laughter. Then he laughed to himself. I told him I didn’t like her either.

“I think that’s pretty obvious. I don’t like how she treats you.” I didn’t know he even noticed. It got quiet.

“So…do you understand this any better.”

“Yeah, some…thanks…”

“Sure.”

“Could we take a break? Hey, let’s go grab lunch. I’ll pay since you helped me.”

“No, I can cover my own.”

“Oh, come on, man.”

“I don’t think you even need to get out.”

“Well let’s order pizza then, okay?”

“Um…okay.”

“What do you like on yours?” Sam got up and picked up the phone.

“Anything, I don’t care.”

Sam called and ordered two pizzas and we worked some more until the pizza arrived. I tried to pay him bacut hut he wouldn’t let me. He said he wanted to repay me somehow. I still didn’t understand why he wanted to spend time with me. And why in the hell did he get in a fight with Chris? I didn’t understand his crowd, not at all. As we were finishing up, Sam’s mom walked in. Apparently she had been out that morning.

“Hey, Sam…oh, I see you have company.” She looked so nice. She was very pretty with the same light brown hair and brown eyes as Sam. I stood up to meet her.

“Mom, this is Jonathan. He’s helping me with English.”

“Hi Jonathan.” She smiled and I shook her small hand. She was petite. “I’m so glad my boy found someone who can help him with his homework. How sweet of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, I see you boys have eaten.”

“Yeah,” Sam replied.

“Honey, you don’t look like you feel good…and what happened to your lip?”

“Oh, I…um…I got in a…fight.”

“A fight?!”

“Yeah…it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“Sam, you better be careful.”

“I will Mom.”

She sighed and went to her bedroom.

*********************************************************************

“She’ll be okay,” I assured Jonathan. He nodded. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been in a fight.”

“Mind if I ask what you and Chris got into it about?”

What did I tell him? Should I tell him that I liked him and wanted to be his friend. And what would happen on Monday? Should I just go on like I normally do? Should I let people know I wanted Jon as my friend? A million thoughts were swimming in my head at once.

“Oh, you know, he was…being Chris, bragging like he usually does…you know and I had already had a couple drinks and I was getting annoyed with him. I said something and he got in my face and we…got into it.”

“What was he bragging about?” I had a feeling Jon already knew. I don’t know how, but he knew. I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

I sighed heavily. “He was bragging about yesterday afternoon. I’m sorry, but I just didn’t think it was right. You’ve never done anything to him!” I blurted.

Jonathan looked stunned. He didn’t know what to think. He sat down. He didn’t say anything for about a minute. I sat next to him.

“So…let me make sure I heard you right. Chris was telling everyone how he kicked my ass…”

I nodded.

“…and you told him he was wrong…and you and him fought about it? You fought over me? Why?”

He didn’t think he was good enough…for anyone. He hadn’t been told anything positive about himself in a long time. It was obvious.

“I just…I…think you seem like a really good person. I didn’t think you deserved it.”

“I’m the school faggot, Sam. Remember?”

“I don’t care! I like you! I like you because you don’t care what people think about you! I wish I could be like that!”

“You wish you could be called things like, ‘queer and faggot’? Do you wish people would throw bottle caps at you and nobody, not even the FUCKING TEACHER sticks up for you?! Then go home, and get the same kind of treatment there from some CUNT who is supposed to be my STEPMOM! And then your dad takes HER side and ignores you? The only place where I don’t get that kind of shit, is at the morgue, where I work!”

He worked at the morgue? He must have heard my thoughts.

“Yeah, the fucking morgue. At least dead people can’t call you ‘fag’.” He was angry. Tears were in his eyes. He was fighting to keep them in. “I don’t know why you want to be like me…at least there are people who like you.”

“You have friends, I see you sit with them.”

“Yeah…and you know what they would say to me if they knew I was here with you?”

“Why do you think I got in a fight with Chris. I told him I took you home!” I never knew I could have anything in common with Jonathan Davis.

“Why?” A tear fell from his eye and he angrily brushed it away. Then another, this time I reached up and caught it. I held his beautiful face in my hand. He really was beautiful.

“Because, it was the right thing to do.” I looked right into his sad brown eyes. He looked back into mine for a second, not sure what to do. I did what I had wanted to do Friday. Before he could resist, I took his thin frame into my arms. He felt so good. I think I needed the embrace too. We both did. He was tense for a few seconds, then his head rested on my shoulder. He slid his long arms around my waist. I felt my shirt get wet on the shoulder. He tried to cry quietly. I felt tears in my eyes too. I stroked his back like I had longed to do yesterday. He cried harder. I held him tighter. I let him cry for a long time before he pulled away from me and wiped his eyes.

“I should go,” he said quietly. I didn’t want him to.

“No…please.”

He held up his hand to stop me. “I really need to go home. I need to be alone.”

“Let me drive you,” I begged.

“I would like to walk. Thank you, for everything.”

“Thank YOU.” He stood up and I got up from the couch. “I’m walking you to the door.” I hugged him and he went home. I went back to my room to lay down.

What had just happened? Why did I have these strange feelings for him? Am I gay, I wondered. I had liked girls before, I had dated them, slept with two. I was so confused. But I knew I liked Jonathan and I wanted to know him better. I wanted to be his friend. I already blew it with Chris and them, so I felt like I had nothing to lose now. I was scared, but this felt right. For once in my life, I was thinking for myself.

*********************************************************************
Walking home gave me time to think and time to compose myself. I knew Sharon would give me hell if she saw I had been crying. I could hear her calling me a “crybaby” already. I wanted to kill that woman sometimes. I really did. I wish my dad had enough sense to divorce her and to see through all of her bullshit. She had him convinced that my sister and I both were failures. She hated me especially. I approached the house and saw that their car was still gone. They weren’t there when I got home last night either. Good, I thought. I went inside with more relief.

“Hey big brother!” Alyssa was in the living room with her boyfriend, David.

“Hey. Listen, do you know where Dad and Sharon are?”

“You didn’t know?”

I threw my hands up. “What?”

“They went on that church retreat.”

“Oh great, now I get to hear what a sinner I am when they get back tomorrow.”

“You’re not the only one.”

I sighed. At least I would be away from her for one night. I sat down and watched the movie with Alyssa and David, even thought they made out most of the time. The three of us enjoyed a full evening away from everyone else. I don’t remember spending that much time with my sister in a long time. For one night, I had some relief. I enjoyed it while it lasted.

I woke up the next day to my dad and Sharon coming in. She threw open my door.

“Get up you lazy shit! You and your sister are going to have a talk with your father and me. NOW!”

They wanted to talk about “our family problems”. Sharon of course, made herself the victim, saying that my sister and I disrespected her constantly and that it really hurt her. When Alyssa or I tried to tell our side, they didn’t want to hear it. I was so mad. I stormed off to my room again and went back to sleep. I didn’t want to call any of my friends. Chad would just want to go shopping and tell me how I should dress like him. I was still kind of pissed at him anyway because he blew a date with this girl that I really liked. There I was out with her, starting to have a good time and he shows up, inviting himself along and hitting on her. I hadn’t heard from her since. I thought about going to Sam’s. I fell asleep before I could make a decision.

I woke up an hour later. I really didn’t want to hang around the house. I figured I would see what Sam was up to. I put my shirt and shoes back on and headed toward his house. I knocked on his front door. His mom answered. She seemed so nice. She was so pretty and sweet.

“Hi, honey. Jonathan, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. Is Sam here?”

“Yeah, come in, sweetie.”

“Thanks.”

Sam appeared in the entrance hall. He looked surprised to see me.

“Hey, Jon.” He smiled. “What’s up?”

“I just wanna hang out…you know…”

“Great! Come in.”

He and I sat down in the living room. His mom left the room.

*********************************************************************

I was so happy to see Jonathan. He had been running through my mind all day. He looked happy to see me too but he also looked troubled. I asked if anything was bothering him, quietly hoping that I hadn’t freaked him out yesterday.

“Oh, it’s fine, my stepmom is pissing me off again. She and my dad went on some fucking church retreat and came back today talking about how badly my sister and I treat her. Fuck that bitch, I can’t stand her.” He looked angry again.

“I’m sorry.” I patted his knee. He nodded slightly. Then there was a most uncomfortable silence. I felt I needed to bring up yesterday. I wasn’t sure how to begin. He interrupted my thoughts.

“So did you get anymore of your homework done yesterday?”

“Yeah...thanks. Hey, Jon, listen, I hope that I didn’t freak you out yesterday…”

“Oh…that…no…it’s fine…thanks.”

“Okay…so…what else is going on?”

“I go back to work tomorrow.”

“At the morgue?”

“Yeah…”

Jonathan Davis grew more interesting to me every time I was around him. I wanted to get inside his head. I wanted to know so much about him. I had so many questions, but I didn’t know how to ask him. I could honestly say that I had a crush on him. It felt weird to me, but at the same time I was so excited. I had that feeling inside me that you get when you like someone a lot, only this time it was a guy.

“Do you like working there?”

“Yeah…it’s growing on me. It kind of freaked me out at first.”

“Um…I was wondering, since you’re working Monday, do you think you could help me with my homework again on Tuesday?”

“Sure, I can after pipe band.”

“Cool. Thanks. I’ve actually heard you play the pipes before. You’re really good.”

“Thanks, I didn’t know you ever noticed.”

“Jon…” I put my hand over his. “I’m not just some jock.”

He looked down. “I’m starting to notice that. You actually seem…well, you seem like a pretty good guy.”

“I wonder sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. I wanted to tell him so much. That I hated myself sometimes because I was so concerned with what my “friends” thought of me. Being with Jonathan actually made me realize how much I didn’t want to be a part of that anymore. I wanted to tell him that, but I’m sure it would freak him out, I thought.

“I don’t know…” I finally replied. “I’m so tired of keeping up appearances. I’m tired of worrying about what everyone thinks. You, I envy you…you know, because you don’t care what anyone thinks of you…”

“Yeah and look what it’s done for me…my life isn’t perfect either, Sam. I told you that, remember?”

“I’m sorry that your home life is shitty.”

“Yeah, me too. At least your parents are together.”

“Yeah, my dad though…”

“What?” Now he looked intrigued.

“Nothing is ever good enough for him. He compares me to my brother constantly. My brother went to Harvard. He’s good at everything, sports, school. He sure as hell doesn’t have any learning disabilities.”

“Learning disabilities?”

“Yeah, I’m dyslexic. I suck at school. I really don’t know what I’m good at. You, you have musical talent…you’re pretty good at your school work. You’re probably very good at your job too…I don’t know what I’m good at.”

Jon looked dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry Jon. I don’t mean to burden you.”

“It’s okay…if it makes you feel any better, my cheek never swelled up.”

I managed a half-hearted laugh. “I just wanted to help.” My lip still hurt from the fight, but not as much. I reached up to touch it. “Looks like I should’ve taken my own advice, huh?”

“It looks better.”

“It doesn’t hurt as much.”

Another awkward silence. I offered to put on a movie. Jon and I went through my collection and found one we both liked. I turned it on and offered him a drink. I went in the kitchen and brought back two sodas. After the movie had started, my hand brushed Jon’s. He moved his hand on his lap. I don’t know why I did what I did, but I grabbed his hand. I saw him out of the corner of my eye. He gave me a strange look.

After a few seconds of surprise, he interlocked his long, thin fingers with mine. I looked down at his hand in mine. He had beautiful hands. They looked like a musician’s hands to me. Mine were ugly, all rough with bad cuticles and calloused. I bit my nails too. I remembered his beautiful chest. How it had so much soft hair on it. I leaned my head over until it was against his. I felt his hair on my face. I looked over at him.

“Tell me something…”

“Yeah?” His voice was quiet and he smiled warmly.

“How do you do that with your hair?” I reached up with my other hand and took one of the locks and played with it. It felt really cool and I understood why he toyed with it in the strange way that he did.

“Well…I actually don’t brush it…it gets tangled and ends up looking like this.” He laughed some. He ran his fingers over it the way he usually did. I thought this little mannerism that was uniquely his was…cute.

“I like that…it feels…cool.”

“Thanks…” He smiled again. I smiled back and looked into his eyes. He wasn’t wearing his eyeliner today. His dark eyes were so intense. They were so wild. He had shaved today. His face was so smooth and so fine-featured. He looked masculine, yet just…beautiful was the only word that came to mind when I looked at him. He looked like the ideal of a young man to me. His lower lip was fuller than his top lip. I couldn’t hold back anymore and I was tired of it…I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. They were soft. He acted like he didn’t know what to do at first. Then he returned the kiss. It hurt my lip a little bit, but I didn’t care. I wanted to kiss him so bad.
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Let Me Touch You