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Going Through The Motions	By : xadoredxangelx Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > N'sync Views: 1143 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of NSync. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Chapter 3

I sat outside the recording room, looking in to see the guys singing their hearts out. They were recording a song for their album. My brothers band is called *N Sync. I know the guys like what they’re doing, but I know they wish they could do things more there own way. It’s just so popish and I know there so bored with that. They want their music to be more than just the same old love song.

It’s just that freaking fat guy, I don’t know exactly what he does, but his name is Lou Pearlman. He’s an idiot, and constantly tells my parents to try and make me “famous” like Josh. Please. He says I have the look that can relate to millions of teenage and preteen girls.

That’s not my dream. I don’t know exactly what my dream is, but I know it’s not… being idolized by a bunch of kids, it’s not being stalked by little girls, it’s not having people hating and loving me. Even though most people hate me and very few love me.

I sighed out loud and brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them. Ashlee was showing around the moron who was completely enthralled by everything. Did I mention I hated him?

“Hi Jess!” An annoying high-pitched voice knocked me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see Tanya standing right in front of me. She was in a girl group, supposedly said to be the next Spice Girls. Yeah okay.

“Hi Tanya.” She was 17, a year older than Justin and always hanging around him. I thought she was the biggest retard ever, maybe even a bigger idiot than Adam. HEY! Maybe I could hook them up so they could have retarded children together! Wait never mind, I shudder at the thought of polluting this world with their idiot children.

“Oh my God! Jess you look adorable!” She sat next to me and pointed a fake tanned digit at me. “I swear you almost look like me when I was younger!” She giggled and pushed a strand of bleach blonde hair out of her face.

”Uhm not really …” I bit my tongue, holding back any nasty comments. That was just too easy of a diss.

“Well anyway…” She said ignoring what I said; she applied some more lipstick on. “Hehe I hope the guys are almost done I can’t wait to see Justin.”

“Why?” I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. God, I couldn’t stand this girl, and why was she torturing Justin, wasn’t that my job to do?

“Cause duh! He’s my boyfriend.” She giggled and slapped my arm lightly. I just looked at her shocked. “Can you believe I took his vir… uhh…”

“You took his what?” I looked at her confused. What the hell was she talking about, she couldn’t mean what I think she was talking about, was she?

“Haha… never mind sweetie, you’re too young to hear that…”

“EWW!” I looked at her horrified. Yep, she was talking about what I thought she was.

“You won’t think of it like that when you’re older.” Tanya laughed and vainly glanced into her mirror.

“No I don’t mean it like that, I mean that it’s eww because he’d degrade himself to sleep with you, you cheap plastic harlot.”

“What’s a harlot?” She questioned, twirled her hair around her finger.

“Imbecile.” I mumbled and got up. Ew ew ew ew. I couldn’t wash the dirty images of Justin fucking Tanya from my mind. I just wanted to go and throw my brain into a tub full of Clorox.

As I walked down the hallway, I caught the sight of Ashlee sitting down on a bench and Adam “rapping” for her. Oh Jesus. I wasn’t even gonna touch that one.

“Ashlee… I’m sorry to interrupt Andrew’s delightful rap, but I need to speak to you… alone.” I asked and she just nodded at

“Hold on Adam I’ll be right back.” Ash smiled at him and he just nodded and gave me a dirty look when she wasn’t looking. I smiled and held up my middle finger at him.

Ashlee and I walked down the hallway until we were far enough from Andrew and everything for that matter to talk alone. The hallway was white and brightly colored. It kind of resembled a hospital hall if you thought about it.

“What’s wrong, Jess? What did you need to talk about?” Ashlee questioned and leaned up against the wall.

“Is it true Justin is dating Tanya?” I inquired and looked down at the floor.

“Maybe.” A small smile grew on her face. “Jealous?”

“Ew. Not at all. It’s just that… uhm… Tanya told me that she took his virginity…”

“WHAT?!” I swear to God I think the whole building went quiet. Ashlee was seriously pissed. I mean I was fucking 13 and Tanya was telling me about her fuck fest with Justin. That was just sick. “First of all… HE DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME THAT! And second… TANYA IS A TRASHY SLUT FOR DOING THAT! OH MY GOD!”

She was just flipping out at that point. I just bit my lip; I didn’t know what to say. I just nodded at her ramblings until finally she grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the direction of the recording room. Ut oh, Ashlee was pissed and there was no fleeing from that.

“JUSTIN RANDALL TIMBERLAKE!!!!!!” She yelled and flung me on the couch. Ashlee was in total mother mode and ready to kill him and her.

“What did I do?” He asked with a laugh. Justin had his arm draped around the whore… oops I mean Tanya. He was laughing, and I could tell he had no idea what was going on.

“Get over here right now!” She stomped her foot down on the ground and Justin knew he had to run over to her. Right when he reached her, Ashlee grabbed him by the ear and pulled him to where me and her were talking before.

Damnit, I thought to myself and sighed. I really wanted to hear her yell at him. The guys walked over to me with looks of confusion on, and JC, being my brother and all had to speak up.

“Jess, what’s the dirt, what did he do?”

“It’s not what… it’s who.”

“What?” JC’s mouth practically dropped to the floor.

“Timberlake got ass? From who?!” Joey jumped up and down. Chris burst out laughing and JC smacked them both.

“Tanya. She told me, and Ashlee went parental and mental.” I shrugged my shoulders and Lance looked completely surprised.

“And I thought I’d score before him. Damn.” Lance shook his head and Chris laughed.

“Lance, at the rate your going, your gonna get laid when your 40.” Chris joked and Lance punched him in the arm.

“Man shut up! Don’t deflate my ego in front of Jess.”

“Both of you shut up. Lance your never getting laid and Chris you’ll probably never get any again.” JC rolled his eyes and looked at me.

“Why is he dating her again? She didn’t even know what Harlot meant.” I exclaimed and the guys all turned and looked at me, smiling evily.

“Number one, Jess your super smart and she’s got half of Joey’s brains, and we already knew he didn’t have much to the begin with so that’s very little.” JC stated and Joey pouted.

“Hey! I not dumb! Me is smart!” He joked and we all burst out laughing.

“Okay, and number two…” Chris smirked at me and JC continued.

“Are you jealous?”

“GOD! Why does everyone keep asking me that?! NO! It’s Justin! EW! He’s gross and I am SO not jealous.” I practically screamed right as Justin and Ashlee were walking back to the guys. JC gave me a look and quickly tried to cover it up.

“Okay Jess! We know you don’t like Justin Ronaldi from school. Just chill!” JC said but Justin obviously didn’t buy it. He just looked hurt. I didn’t say anything, for that matter I didn’t even care if I hurt anyone’s feelings I just rolled my eyes.

“Uh…yeah… Jess can I please talk to you for a minute?” Justin spoke softly and motioned towards the other end of the hallway. I just nodded and got up, he led the way and I followed, the rest of the guys just following us with their eyes.

“Jess…I’m really sorry for what Tanya said to you… it was wrong of her… and I promise that I’ll make sure she keeps her mouth shut about our private life.”

I didn’t say anything at first. I mean, what could I say. I was just too dumbstruck to say anything. I mean I’ve known this guy since I was like 8 or 9 and I just found out that he banged some really skanky girl.

“You know I just hoped you wore a condom… she’s dirty and I don’t want any little Timberlake’s running around.” I smiled a little bit. Yep, I knew about sex. I got the sex talk when I was 11 or 12 and I found Joey’s porno magazines littered around everywhere.

I basically knew everythingre wre was to know, not that I’ve ever done it nor do I want to. It’s just icky; I don’t think I ever want to get married either. I just want to travel the world and have fun, not worry about anything stupid like guys.

“Yeah we did.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and I smirked evilly, Oh I was gonna freak this kid out.

“You know you can get some STDs even when wearing a condom.” I informed him and Justin just nodded. Score one for Jessica!

“Yes I do…” Justin swallowed uneasily and I looked down.

“Justin, just be careful… she said some things to me…I…wait never mind. I shouldn’t say anything.” I looked away from him, playing the innocent act. Mmmhmm… I was gonna get this asshole good.

“What…?” He looked at me, his blue eyes looking into mine with confusion. “Jess, please tell me.”

“I don’t know if I should…”

“Jess, please. If theres something I should know…”

“Justin… she’s been having sex with Nick Carter too. She said you’re much bigger than him.” I blurted out and covered my mouth quickly. “Wait I shouldn’t have said anything… I…I’m sorry…” I hid my laughter that was yearning to come out.

“What…” Justin looked shocked and hurt; it made me want to do a fucking dance. I don’t know why but for some reason I just can’t STAND this guy.

“I’m sorry Justin…” I hugged him, hey, not like I liked it right… I just had to make it look real… right?

“Jess, thank you so much for telling me this. I know we’re not the greatest of friends but I really appreciate you telling me that…” Justin said and I could see the tears forming in his eyes. Shit I made him cry! SCORE TWO AND THREE FOR JESSICA!

“It’s no problem. I feel awful.” I lied and rubbed his back softly. God, I should have won an Emmy for that performance.

“Don’t worry. I should have known better. She’s trashy.” Justin said and I nodded.

“She didn’t even know what harlot meant. I mean come on sai said and Justin laughed.

“She isn’t the brightest crayon in the box now is she.”

“Yeah well neither are you Timberlake.” I smirked and started walking back to everyone. “But maybe yove ave a tiny bit more sense than she does. I thought of hooking her up with Vanilla Ice… I mean Adam.”

“Vanilla Ice…” Justin burst out laughing. “He kinda does remind you of him in an eerie way.”

“See! I’m not the only one. Thank God.” I walkack ack to the guys and sat down on Chris’s lap.

“She’s cheating on me.” Justin told everyone. I just looked down at played with one of my curls.

“I’m sorry, J.” Ashlee said and hugged him. He sighed and gave a weak smile.

“I should have known. It was too good to be true. I’m gonna go break it off…”

“I’m sorry Justin.” JC hit his back softly and Justin sighed.

“It’s okay. I mean she’s vein and basically a whore. I just wanted someone to fill the longing of you you all know who…”

“Oh yeah.” Ashlee laughed a little. “We ALL know.”

“No we ALL don’t. I don’t know! Someone tell me!” I bounced on Chris’s lap and JC just shook his head.

“Don’t worry it’s not important.”

“Fine ew. I see how it is.” I pouted and crossed my arms across my chest and Justin looked like he was going to say something but Ashlee shook her head and put her hand on his shoulder.

“J, don’t.” They seemed to say something silently to each other and Justin finally sighed.

“Fine… I need to go…” He stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked over to Tanya who was talking away to a bunch of people. Moron. Did I mention I hated her, or has that feeling grown just recently? Nah…

Okay I KNOW what everyone is thinking. I’m SOOOO not jealous. It’s Justin and eww? He’s my older brother’s dorky hick friend. I so do not have a crush on him or even remotely like him. I did that because well, it made me feel better. It made me forget what was going on in my life for the time being and it made me realize that hey, someone gets fucked by life worse than I do.

No, I’m not self-absorbed. I know the world does not revolve around me like I’d want it to. I’d LIKE for the world to revolve around me, but it doesn’t, so poo, I know it just goes on.

And I am so not growing a conscience here, but, I mean Justin obviously didn’t like the girl that much and he liked someone else; Tanya was just filling the void. For the record, I think I was just helping them, I mean they would have probably broke up anyway, and I’m sure she would have eventually cheated on him too.

Whatever, I wasn’t going to make myself sit there and stress over something like that. It happened, it’s over, I probably did more good than I did bad. You could sort of call me a saint… haha… right?

I rolled my eyes and sank back into reality, orl atl at least my reality. The guys were getting ready to go home after hours of recording. Justin was upset to say the least, but he’d get over it any find someone better and less stupid.

“Jess. Let’s go.” JC stood right in front of me and held his hand out to me. They had finished recording for the day and it was about 11:15. Thank God It was Friday and I had no school tomorrow.

I got up and followed JC to the car. I sat in the front while Ashlee and Adam made out in the backseat. I shot a look to JC and he just laughed. I could tell something was on his mind though; he seemed so out of it.

“Jace, what’s wrong?” I glanced at him and he just sighed.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well, for me it is. I can read you like a book.” I smirked as Josh drove to Ashlee’s house.

“Nikki troubles, that’s all. She thinks we should take a break from each other.”

“I’m sorry…” I didn’t really know what to say. I know he’s really in love with her, and I know he wants to eventually marry her, but I don’t think the feelings are mutual. But then again what the hell do I know?

“It’s okay… it’s like that saying, if you love something let it go, it comes back to you its yours..” JC stated and I nodded in response. I could tell Ashlee was listening to this and I glanced back at her. Adam was too busy to realize what was going on. But Ashlee just smiled sadly at me. It was a mixture of happiness but at the same time guilt and sadness for JC. She wanted him to be happy, even if he wasn’t with her.

I have to say, that’s a really mature thing fer ter to do and say and feel. I mean I didn’t feel that way, just because uhm, I wanted Josh to be with me more and not go off and get married to her. I needed him, I don’t know what I’d do without him. I’d be lonely and I don’t think I’d be able to survive without him around, even if it’s just him teasing me or having our campouts in each others rooms, I don’t know. I just need my brother.

We dropped Ashlee and Adam off and went back to our house. We were both quiet until JC finally spoke up.

“Justin broke up with Tanya… she was uhm… flipping out.”

“Really? Stupid bitch. I can’t stand her.”

“Can you stand anyone?” JC glanced over at me and smirked. I hit his arm lightly and rolled my eyes.

“I can stand you, C.”

“Well besides me and Ashlee. Who can you stand?”

“I don’t know people…” I said and playedh thh the ends of my hair nervously.

“You will never change, Jess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That, well, since you were little you had trouble making friends and…”

“Forget it I don’t wanna here it.” I shook my head and we pulled into the driveway. I hopped out of the car and went straight up to my room. Yeah, I had trouble making friends but don’t make it out like I’m completely anti-social. It’s people, not me.

I sighed and pulled on my pajamas and climbed into my bed. All I wanted to do was pull the covers up over my head and just slee did didn’t want to think about what JC said, or how hurt Justin was or how much of a Barbie doll Tanya was. I didn’t want to listen or hear anything. I just drifted off to sleep holding back my tears.
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Going Through The Motions