the stillness of a youthful heart

03. the beginning

as darkness overwhelms the horror lying behind him, mana rushes through wide doors and into a drawing room, hurling himself into an armchair beside a roaring fireplace.

for almost 300 years, this beautiful monster has not shed a single tear. now, at the death of a young man he has known for less than 5 years, he is inconsolable.

bloody tears soak the rich satin of his gown as the spectre of a white-faced clown brushes past him.

::denied love, cursed with a heartbeat::

once he too breathed, this weeping man. he too was mortal, could dance in the sunlight, could laugh, could bleed. could die.

it haunts his memory still, that fateful night.

::dizzy with drink, a wandering fool::

seductive eyes settled suddenly upon him from the shadows, and the young man peered intently at the black-cloaked form before him as it stepped into the street. flickering lantern-light played over a moth-eaten black cowl, and mana edged backward slightly, unnerved.

“hello?” he enquired politely. “are you lost?”

the figure chuckled softly in a voice richer than honey, and it stepped towards mana.

long, pale, slender fingers reached up to the hood and mana shut his eyes as a scent cooler than moonlight washed over him. he opened his eyes slowly, fearful of whatever lurked beneath the ragged cloth.

his breath caught in his throat as the face of the figure was revealed. shimmering white hair drifted around a flawlessly beautiful face, glittering green eyes locked on his. as the stranger moved closer into him, mana was frozen to the spot, awed at the beauty of the man before him.

he leaned towards the shorter man, and breathed into his ear.

“i appear to have lost my soul.”

sudden realization hit mana, and he knew what the stranger was, but before he had a chance to turn away, he was clutched to the creature’s cold bosom, already enthralled by the vampire’s kiss.

::white. pure white. a blissful transition::

his senses whirling, mana could do nothing but gasp as the pleasure of undeath swept through his trembling form. he sagged against his murderer, begging for more even as the tall man removed his face from his neck, lifting him effortlessly and moving into the alley. he kneeled down, clasping mana to his chest as his eyes fogged with pleasure. mana’s blood was unusually sweet.

::an unforgiving bond. the true knowledge of death::

mana slipped slightly out of his daze, gazing pleadingly into the fathomless green eyes staring into his. the silver-haired vampire slid a tapered fang onto his lip, biting down softly. he craned his neck, kissing mana gently.

::the whiteness of heaven and the black of hell, stained crimson::

there is no other sensation like that experienced when fed the blood of a vampire. mana’s already dying body arched with ecstasy as he sucked at the torn flesh of his sire’s lip. suddenly, he tore his head away and tried to scream as an agonizing bolt of pain spread through his body. the vampire covered his mouth, hissing dangerously as a group of laughing people walked past the dark alley. realizing that mana would not cease his cries until his death was complete, he snapped the small man’s neck.

::the agony of death throes, cut short with a muffled scream::

standing, the tall man dusted himself down anokedoked with affection at the figure twisted unnaturally on the floor. he would teach this one well. stooping, he cradled mana’s body in his arms and held him there with one hand as he tugged the hood back over his head. checking the street for more late-night carousers, he slid from the stinking alleyway like a spectre, disappearing into the silence of the night.

3 days later, mana awoke in a cold room, and his sire smiled from the foot of the bed. in his arms, he held a sleeping child. ravenous, mana leapt for the youth and drained him completely before realizing what he had done.

::i’m hungry::

at the time, he hadn’t even noticed the child’s soft corn-blonde hair or his wide, innocent blue eyes, but now, as he wept in the study, he could see the little boy perfectly and hear his ragged sobs as he died.

::innocence maimed, the stillness of a youthful heart::

now, 3 centuries after his first meal, he could still taste the blood on his lips.
hear the screams of innocence dying.

see the face of közi, flushed with healing on that first day.

a haze of pain and loss sweeps over his trembling frame and he slips to the floor, moaning gently. glancing up, he sees a ghost before him. a heartwrenching smile, eyes glittering with youthful affection. he blinks, and his közi is gone.

::an undeniable truth. an unbearable, soul wrenching loss::

he sits up and a ragged scream tears its way painfully through him as he pulls at his hair. he sits on the darkly carpeted floor and howls.