Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Crimson blue	By : weelow Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Notes: So, what happened to Kaoru after Kisaki's speech? And what means Die's statement “We’ll solve this later.”

Crimson blue

Chapter 3: You’re wrong

He was walking, he suddenly realized. Walking like every other day, walking like every other human being. Like every day since he was capable to walk, moving his feet.
But there was something different, something was very wrong.
Through the streets and parking lots he walked. All of them were very familiar to him. The city was the same, so it must be something with him that didn’t make sense.
He tried to clear his throat but he didn’t know how to.

His door was the same and the key in his pocket fit perfectly into the lock.
It was the same apartment he had woke up that morning. It was the same day, he realized. It felt so different now.
He closed the door and sat down on his couch. He felt bad. He would have wanted to cry, but he didn’t know how to. Kaoru curled up to the sofa and fell asleep. He slept without seeing dreams.

Something demanding pulled him up from the deep. Someone was ringing his doorbell.
Kaoru opened his eyes slowly.
“Are you okay? You disappeared so fast this morning I didn’t even get to see you”, Die said standing in his doorway.
So this was it, Kaoru thought.
“I’m quite all right. Thanks for checking”, Kaoru said.
Die smiled and moved a bit to get inside to his home but Kaoru moved also, blocking his way. It tortured Kaoru to see Die’s surprised expression.
“I’m sorry but I need to write some chords down and I need some peace”, Kaoru said.
This was it, this was it, beat in Kaoru’s mind.

They stood in silence.
Die cursed himself asking if Kaoru was ok when he obviously was not. Older man’s hair was messy and he didn’t make eye contact.
He must have been sleeping. Die saw a little marks of pillow in Kaoru’s smooth skin. Then he saw also dim wakes which were caused by tears.
“He made you cry”, Die whispered.
He had never seen Kaoru crying. He had always been the strong one, the one comforting the others. And now, this very day came.
Terrified Kaoru rose his hand to his cheek. He must have been crying while he was asleep. Kaoru felt panic and slammed the door close in front of Die’s face.
Redheaded boy left there standing, wondering how it had came to this.

*

“Die!” Kisaki called redheaded boy with singing voice.
Die didn’t smile, he remembered everything. He tried not to start yelling.
“You’ve been talking with Kaoru-kun?” Die asked.
The question made Kisaki look stormy.
“What’s with him?” This made Die more angry.
“You need to stop that. Why are you pushing Kaoru down all the time? Is it because he composes? Live with it!” Kisaki’s expression darkened.
“I’m not pushing him down, only forward. It’s good to him. Everybody needs to be pushed sometimes.”
“Fuck it, you know it’s just not that. You’re treating him like shit. Like shit I said! Telling him to write some stuff down all by himself, not meeting us. You’re killing La:Sadie’s with that kind of crappy attitude.”
“What?! We’re not dying!”
“Have you seen Kyo lately? He’s not in his best shape you know.”
“Kyo is always like that”, Kisaki tried.
“What’s wrong with you…” Die finally asked.
“You’re wrong”, Kisaki whispered. The silence was devastating.

“Stop that”, Die said after a while.
“No, I won’t. This time I won’t. You are so wrong”, Kisaki said moving closer to Die.
“I told you once I can’t get you out of my head, no matter what. I’m no maschine Die-kun. It’s not like I’m able to switch my love towards you off. When I believe my love is finally dying down you heat me up again just by being you, doing the things you do. Pushing my buttons over and over again. It’s driving me mad!” Kisaki spoke in-tensely. His eyes were furious.
“That’s not true”, Die answered shaking his head disbelief in his voice.
“It is! Whenever I just smell your scent I’m only trying to hold myself back. But you say nothing. Leaving me hanging on and on. Why do you have to be like that? Why don’t you want me? Why can’t you love me? I love you Die”, Kisaki yelled.

“No. That’s not true”, Die answered silently. “You don’t know me, Kisaki. This Die you are so in love with doesn’t exist. You’re imagining things. It’s only a dream, wake up. And you say you can’t stop loving me? Well I can’t just start loving you. And honestly speaking I think you don’t love me, not the way you want yourself to believe. You just want to own me. Just like you want own Kaoru’s talent and just like you want to own this whole god damn band.” Kisaki looked at Die with tiny shining tears in his eyes.
They were like stars, glittering between his dark black hair, finally falling to the floor.
It felt like million years Die thought sad. And that’s million years too much for a friend to feel pain caused by one’s own stupidity and shallowness.

*

Kaoru sat and watched his guitar.
There was nothing disturbing him, in the silence of his home he should be in a good position to develop some new chords, but Kaoru felt nothing. No inspiration, no feelings, not even sadness. Hell, he wasn’t even bored just sitting there like an idiot.
His dark purple Ganesa leaned against his sofa and was like waiting to something to happen.
“What do you want from me?” Kaoru asked. His voice echoed into the silence of his home.

Kaoru felt cold chills running down his spine. This was too weird. What on earth was he doing? Kisaki sure had made him take a few steps backwards as a human, lowered him, but why was he so twisted about it? Move on Kaoru, it’s over. Live with it. Start breathing again, Kaoru thought. Worse thing had happened in this world. You’re so selfish!
He grabbed his guitar and rose it to his lap. It felt heavy.
Are you so weak that you can’t move on after that kind of speak?
Hell yeah.
You are such a looser.
You can say that again.
Speaking of which, you are a bad composer, I mean really, if you can’t manage to write down anything after few back ups, why are you even in this business?
Maybe I should quit.
YOU SHOULD!

Kaoru sighed and frowned.
Fuck no! He was going to make it through. No way in million years he was going to quit. This was his life for the fuck’s sake.
He touched the string of the guitar and felt dizzy. Somehow the anger made him identified to the heaviness of the guitar. Kaoru felt his fingers tickling.
And when he played the first tone he knew it was going to be the greatest song he had ever made.
- 2
- 3
- 4
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Adult-FanFiction.Org is not in any way associated with or related to FanFiction.Net

Adult-FanFiction.org (AFF, the site), its owners, agents, and any other entities related to Adult-FanFiction.org or the AFF forum take no responsibility for the works posted to the Adult-FanFiction.org by its members.

While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.

All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.

Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!

Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo

Crimson blue