Don't deny your feelings | By : Shinya Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1743 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
DISLAIMER: I still do not own Dir en grey!
A/N: Yes, this is already the third chapter! I have been pretty quick! I hope you have liked my story. I told you that the beginning chapters are boring, but it is getting better all the time... So please read and write your comments! Is this full of shit? ^_^ Tell me!! I want to thank you all who have reviewed! Now read the next one...
DON’T DENY YOUR FEELINGS
Chapter 3:
That evening Toshiya and Kyo shared a hotel room again and made punch. Everything went well, Toshiya was telling his new jokes to the vocalist and they ate chips and drank their delicious punch. They watched Toshiya’s dramafilm, which told about a man who wore woman’s clothes and was in love with a boxer. The film had a sad ending and in the end Kyo glared at the bassist. Toshiya’s lips were shaking and the man was sobbing quietly.
”Toshiya...” Kyo sighed, moved closer to the younger man and stroked his hair gently. The bassist looked at the little man next to him and hugged him tightly. ”No need to cry, this film was not true. Everything is fine. Understand?”
The bassist was crying against the singer’s shoulder and whispered: ”I know that, warumono. But... it is still so sad. Why did the boxer die? It is not fair!” Kyo was still stroking the other’s hair gently, sighing: ”You can’t always get what you want in your life. You can’t always become happy. But don’t you worry now. It was just a movie.” Toshiya nodded and wiped the rest of his tears off his face, leaving to throw away their trashes. Kyo gulped when he watched how the sexy bassist was walking with his round ass swinging from side to side.
”OH... Totchi, would you bring me some more punch?” Kyo asked rubbing his hands together, giggling. He managed to look the bassist straight to eyes. The bassist grinned at him and then Kyo saw something weird in the bassist’s eyes. He didn’t know what it was, but it made him feel a little uncomfortable. ”Kyo, are you sure you need more punch?” Toshiya giggled happily. ”Because I am not...”
”Hah hah!!” Kyo laughed his eyes shut. ”I am so thirsty. Please give me more punch NOW!”
Toshiya returned back to Kyo and sat next to him, taking his hand on his own, looking deeply at his eyes. ”No, Kyo-kun. You don’t need more punch or anything else to drink. Only water... You are drunk already. I won’t let you get a hangover, I am responsible of you. Alcohol does not suit you and you should know that! Once when you were drunk you almost got raped, remember? We were all so worried about you... So I won’t let you drink more tonight, kawaii warumono.” Kyo smiled to Toshiya softly, ignoring the whole ’kawaii warumono’-thing completely, but only because it was Toshiya who said so. ”You are really an important friend to me”, Kyo whispered shyly then. ”I could not live if you weren’t here taking care of me, Totchi. I don’t ever want to lose you...” Kyo meant every single word that he had said. It really was all true. He could never imagine a life without the bassist. He loved him so fucking much! If only Toshiya knew…
”Thank you very much”, Toshiya said smirking. ”I am very flattered because of your words. I could not live without you neither. You all are very important to me. You, Kaoru, Shinya and Die of course. But... I think that you are my best friend. You are the most important person to me. You are reliable, honest and always nice and kind to me, even when I am in a bad mood. You are a good listener when I have some problems and... I can always trust you in everything.”
Their eyes met and it was like a dream. Toshiya was smiling softly to Kyo and Kyo felt himself so in love and very weak now. He loved the bassist’s beautiful eyes and that smile... It was so unbelievable... Warumono couldn’t say anything anymore. His heart was beating so fast that it was even hard to breath. He was so excited. Was he only imagining or was the bassist smiling a little seducing way? Those full lips... They looked so tasty! He wanted to taste them. He wanted to press his lips to the bassist’s and feel them against his own... He only wanted to kiss him, hold the younger man in his arms very close and then maybe...
Warumono parted his own lips. He would do it now. He could not stand it any longer! No, not anymore! He had waited so long, he had been a coward! Now was the time. He needed Toshiya, he needed a kiss from those perfect lips... NOW! *If you don’t do that, you will never have him. You must do it NOW*, said the little voice in his head. *DO IT NOW! KISS HIM, YOU IDIOT!* And he was already going to press his lips against the bassist’s own...
... When Kyo’s phone started ringing! Kyo woke up to reality and watched the bassist for a moment. The younger man was looking sad now. Angrily Kyo picked up the phone and heard right away a familiar voice.
”Kyo-kun! What can I do now?!” Shinya whined to the phone in panic.
”SHINYAAAH!” Kyo hissed. ”This is NOT the right moment to call!! Understand?”
Kyo was so disappointed. Shinya had ruined EVERYTHING. He had just had an perfect opportunity to show his feelings to the man he loved. But now the moment was gone and it was all Shinya’s fault!
”Die is staring at me again!” Shinya whispered to the phone. ”I am sure he will try something any time. You must help me! I am all alone here and what if he will try to –”
”Oh, I don’t know what you should do”, Kyo sighed heavily. ”Just try to solve things out by yourselves. It is not anyone else’s problem!”
”Kyo-kun! How can you be so mean?! I am really scared!!”
”I told you already, that this is not the right time to call! Good night”, Kyo hissed again and ended the call. Together with Toshiya they went to sleep. This time they both had own bed.
***
At the same time in the bar Shinya was glaring shyly the bardesk, avoiding the redhaired guitarist’s stare. Die was sitting a few meters from him and was watching him without stopping. Without knowing what to do, Shinya went to dance with some lonely woman. He forgot Die and just danced many songs with this unknown woman. But soon Shinya noticed Die sitting with some young, beautiful man and... Shinya was shocked and terrified. How could he? Shinya was suddenly so jealous...!!
What? Why was he jealous? He was NOT in love with Die, he couldn’t be!! He didn’t even like Die, not after the other man had started to act so weird! Or was he? In love..? Of course not! Why did he even think of it? He wasn’t gay... However, he was angry at Die who was flirting with that girly man. Oh my god, that man was more beautiful than Shinya! Almost like a woman! *FUCK! Die is MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE!! NO ONE ELSES!! I could SHOOT that fucking slut, who is seducing MY Die!* That was what Shinya was thinking and he told to the woman he had danced with that he was leaving now. He knew that it was the right time to go to a hotel. Tomorrow would be the gig and he wanted to gather powers and go to sleep now. He got out of the bar and saw Die getting up too. Shinya began to walk away. He was so jealous! He had seen how Die had kissed that disgusting slut and Die had also used his tongue! Now Shinya started crying. This couldn’t be true.
Die didn’t love him. Older man had kissed the other man in the bar. Die didn’t want him. No one wanted him... He was just a poor girly doll, that’s what everyone thought of him. But he had feelings too and he could become jealous! The tears were in his cheeks already and he cried loudly now. His mind was a mess, why was he feeling this way? Why was he jealous of Die? He knew he wasn’t gay!
Shinya heard steps behind him, when he was going to the taxi. Someone grabbed his shoulder and he turned around, seeing Kaoru standing there. And he also saw Die standing behind their leader-sama. Redhead seemed to be surprised to see Shinya like this, crying...
”Shinya...” Kaoru sighed and hugged the drummer. ”Is something wrong?”
”Everything is fine”, Shinya answered shyly, tears in his eyes, and watched Die. He accidentally stared straight into his eyes and saw worry and love towards him in the older man’s eyes. Die’s stare was so soft and cute…
”Really?” Kaoru asked, worried. ”You don’t seem to be alright…”
”Everything is okay!!” Shinya almost shouted sniffing, and Kaoru opened the taxi’s door for him. ”Let’s go to the hotel. To the same where Kyo and Toshiya went. I’ll go sit to the front seat”, leader-sama said smirking. Shinya went to sit far away from Die.
Shinya got panic, when taxi took two new passagers in because they were going to the same direction. ”Yeah, now you must squeeze up a bit...” Kaoru laughed loudly and grinned devilishly.
”It is easy for you to say there at the front seat...!” Shinya muttered angrily. He was forced to press against the window knees together, and of course Die came to sit right next to the drummer. Shinya stared out of the window and saw Die’s reflection, realizing that he was staring at him. He couldn’t do anything, he only wanted to go to the hotel RIGHT NOW!
Shinya took a powder in his pocket and started to powder his nose so that he had something to do. But soon he saw Die’s face in the little mirror and Die was staring at him! Quickly Shinya closed the powder compact and pushed it back in his pocket. He watched down on his feet the whole time until they arrived to the hotel.
The three men went to the hall to get rooms. Kaoru got his room first and went away, and then was Die’s turn. The redhaired man glanced at Shinya one last time before leaving to his room. Shinya tried to ignore it and asked for a room too, any room would do.
”I am sorry but all the rooms are already taken”, the woman sighed apologetically.
”WHAT?! No, it can’t be!!” Shinya whined. ”It can’t be!! There must be still one room lef-”
”No.”
”Alright then! What room did Kaoru Niikura take?!” Shinya asked tiredly. ”He is my friend, we play at the same band”, he added quickly as he saw the woman’s doubtful glare.
”311.”
”Thank you.”
Shinya hurried to Kaoru’s room, knocking the door. Kaoru came to open and was very surprised. ”Shinya-kun! What are you doing here?” the older man asked. Shinya started to explain: ”There weren’t any room for me. Die took the last room. Could I share a room with you? Please, Kaoru...”
”I am very sorry but there is only room for one person in this tiny bed I have here. You have nowhere to sleep here...” Kaoru said apologizing. ”Go and ask Die if he got a bigger room...”
”DIE?!” Shinya screamed. ”But Kaoru –”
But Kaoru shut the door and Shinya went to ask Die’s room number from the woman. ”Room 333.”
Shinya was so nervous, when he walked to Die’s room’s door and knocked it. This could not be happening...”
TBC…
A/N: Third chapter ready! I am so proud of myself... Review please! I will continue soon! And there are mistakes, I know but I trust you all understand what I mean though.
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