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50 ways to love	By : nekochannya Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > GacktJOB Views: 919 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of GacktJOB. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“I’m melting!” Masa wailed, taking off his sweat-soaked T-shirt in one quick motion.

“Oohh… Sexy! Take it all off, nyan!” Ren called from his place beside Totchi’s drum set.

Grinning mischievously, Masa turned around and coyly stuck out his tongue.

Feigning a direct hit to his heart, he groaned. “Be still my heart! Kami-sama, Ma-kun! Lend me that tongue for 2 minutes… I promise to put it to good use!” he teased perversely.

“Only 2 minutes?” Masa asked with the subtle arch of his brow.

“Yeah… I just want a taste of heaven… not stay there… unless you are willing…” he winked and sent a kiss Masa’s way.

“You wish! Hentai!” Masa rebuked and returned his attention to their bandleader who had just cleared his throat impatiently. Ren continued to call Masa, loving to tease the dark-haired man into little knots.

“Ren-chan… may I have your attention please? Masa’s naked chest is not going anywhere, you know?” Chacha teased lightly, making him blush with embarrassment. He gaped like a fish at that rejoinder, for once speechless, when a deep voice interrupted him.

“Oi, I never thought to see the day you got as red as your hair while still sober, koneko.”

A relaxed Gackt commented from the door, making his way to the table where all their personal stuff was piled.

Setting his keys and coat aside, he asked. “Is there anything I should know about?” he asked before stretching sinuously.

“Yeah… you are late!” replied Chachamaru sharply, his bandleader persona firmly in place.

“Traffic… Meetings…” he shrugged unconcernedly and stood, jumping a bit to loosen his muscles. “What are we doing today?” He asked to no one in particular.

“Seven” was the chorused rejoinder.

Blinking with surprise at the unexpected response, he smiled.

“Then from the top, ne?” he instructed and joined them.

******************************************

‘This is wrong. I know it. This attraction… It’s lust; pure and simple. Every time my eyes slide over his tightly corded body, I feel myself drifting deeper into the abysm. We talk… and I’m irreversibly drawn to those lips that brushed against mine that day. Was it only last week? I wonder…’

I pause, moving exactly how they tell me to while my mind if flooded with images of you.

‘Kami-sama… I’m curious! I need to see for myself… were they really are as sweet as I thought they were? If so, they are my dear Gacchan’s rivals. For the first time in a long time, my blood runs quick and wild. It’s a feeling I had almost forgotten.’

A lull in the rehearsal interrupts my musings. You continue to practice, ignoring those around you, completely absorbed by your music.

‘Curiosity, I tell you… and lust. Gackt! Why can’t you be close to me when I need you the most? You are so distant… We don’t talk we are like strangers whenever we happen to meet. We never see each other, we don’t seem to have the time… not for kisses nor for caresses. Only at night, whenever you get home after a long day, when your body reaches for mine in the darkness, that I remember to whom I belong.’

Your muscles flex under your shirt. I want to see what’s under it. You notice my staring eyes and smile at me. It makes my heart glad to see that.

‘Gods, spare me! Even if he’s not there I am happy the way things are. I don’t feel empty or alone. I am wanted, you know? I don’t need somebody to hold me at night when the nights are cold and unforgiving… I don’t need anybody to talk to because I have my memories: The ever present memory of a kiss, of frantic loving and shared laughter. If I need to eat, I can do it alone, or wait patiently for him to come home. I am not alone. Understand? Even if I am not his top priority, I am fulfilled and complete. Ren has nothing to offer. Nothing!’

Unbidden, my eyes follow you while you move along your routine; practicing hard for the concert we are soon to have. My heart skips a beat every time he talks to me, jokes with me… or even looks at me. I want to run away and hide. My body grows hot and heavy just by watching you jump around with eagerness. I can’t think of anything else. You’re slowly taking control of my mind and my imagination.

Unable to stand it, I turn and step outside for a drink. I need a break from all this before I do something I might regret. Even now, last night’s dream haunts me. Oh God! I can almost feel his kisses, nibbling down my throat while Gackt stood there, frozen expression of horror and pain. It should have been a turn off… but it wasn’t. If anything it excited me further. I wanted it… I wanted to fuck Ren while Gackt was there. Suddenly, the need to cum before the hurt gaze of my lover invaded my whole being. I remember waking up bathed in sweat and pre-cum… I was so ashamed but oh! So aroused!’

Totchi gestures obscenely at a demanding Chachamaru-san’s back and we all laugh.

I must be mistaken… The attraction I think exists is an illusion, a figment of my imagination. I don’t want Ren, you hear? Masa’s world is perfect! There is nothing I want that Ren can give me, you hear?

The hollowness of my own laughter pierces on my unprotected ears. Nobody seems to notice but him. Even now, he is searching for my gaze with a worried frown. I contain a deep sob. He gestures slowly to get my attention. Batting at the tears that come unbidden, I smile and shake my head. ‘Don’t worry’ I mouth before bending presumably to retrieve a fallen pick.

I don’t want to let go Gackt…. I love you still… But… Ren… he’s… Oh God… it can’t be! I can’t want him… I have Gackt! I don’t need anybody else… Please! Please! If any God is listening to this unworthy man full of selfish needs, allow my lusty nature to stay cold and settled deep inside my soul… Spare me from melting inside whenever I look into his eyes! Let me stay firm whenever his kittenish smile blooms just to warm my heart! But above all… Help me keep tight reign over my heart. Don’t let it betray me!

******************************************

“Ok, then we do like this, ne?” Ren reviewed while practicing his dance with the cats, with only his band mates and a few dancers for company.

“Oi, Koneko! Take off your shirt before I die from heatstroke! I can’t stand watching you sweat like that!” Called You while taking off his shirt and sighing with relief.

“Nah, the world’s not ready to be exposed to this humble cat’s sex appeal.” He countered easily, unbelievably reluctant to take off his shirt.

Even though they had seen him shirtless countless times, his attraction to Masa was too new… too raw to allow him to be at ease doing things that suddenly stroke him as intensely intimate.

He was completely sure it was one-sided interest on his part. ‘After all, Masa-kun has Gacchan as his lover. What else can he need? What can I offer that my childhood friend can’t offer? Baka!”

Arms surrounded him amidst laughter and catcalls. Too late did he realize their intent as they divested him of his shirt. Befuddled, he let them do as they wanted, his dark eyes searching Masa’s under the studio’s fluorescent lights.

“Koneko’s blushing!” They picked on him as he stayed silent.

“Look at those erect nipples!” Pointed one.

“So that’s what you were hiding under those baggy pants? Kami-sama! Thank God I am not a girl!” Drawled another.

“Shut up, you ass! This wouldn’t be for you even if you were! My dick would fall off!” Ren answered defensively, finally fed up with their jokes and embarrassed beyond belief.

“Ladies… lets leave aside the koneko’s sex appeal for a second and concentrate in making music… That’s why we are here in the first place, ne?” Chacha tried to control his disorderly band, noticing Ren’s acute distress.

“Ne, Cha-chan! Aren’t you tempted?” Asked an irreverent Totchi hooking his arm around Ren’s neck.

“Nah… That cat is already taken!” He said before realizing the import of his words and shutting his mouth wisely.

“Oh really? By whom?”

“Can’t say! It’s a secret!” Chacha countered

“What do you have to say to that, kitten? Why haven’t you shared that with me, your old friend?” Gackt whined softly, a mock hurt look on his face.

“I don’t know what he’s talking about Gacchan!” He said with a nervous grin. “Gacktjob doesn’t allow for a social life, man! You know that better than I do!” He explained awkwardly.

“Better investigate, Gacchan! Anybody can tell he’s lying!” You warned with a sardonic smile from his corner. Incensed, Ren glared at him, thinking of all the painful things he would do if he were tall enough.

“Fuck off!” he growled feeling cornered. His band mates joked and teased him for a change and he didn’t like it.

“Kids! Can we leave this for later? I for once would like to leave before next year. So, let’s wrap it up, ne?” Chachamaru intervened to Ren’s immense relief. As one they started practicing the last set. Half an hour later, the men started to gather their instruments and store them away. Ren fiddled anxiously with his bass, wanting the damned rehearsal to be over and done with. His nerves were shot and they wouldn’t stand for another grilling such as the last one. Relieved he had escaped relatively unscathed; he allowed the tight knots on his belly to unwind.

‘Hopefully by next practice session they will have forgotten all about it. Cha-chan should have known better… I should have known better than to tell him about Masa... nyan!’ He grumbled under his breath, busying himself while waiting for the others to leave the studio. ‘It pays to leave the last. No more questions.’ He thought with a smile as his eyes unwittingly sought Masa’s. An answering gaze met his halfway, the searing heat that slid down his body felt like warm honey to his dazzled senses. It seemed he was feeling Masa’s hands gliding saucily over his trembling body while his eyes explored the man standing quietly before him.

A warm hand fell on his shoulder making him start and turn, blushing with guilt at getting caught. Stammering slightly, he found himself unable to say anything to a smiling Gackt. He leaned towards him slightly and Ren felt his heart beating madly.

“Don’t think I will easily forget that little tidbit, koneko. You like somebody and you never told me. We will talk later, ne! I will make sure to visit you sometime tomorrow.” Gackt warned with a curious smile, noticing his embarrassment and discomfort with an amused twist of his lips. Using the distraction Ren provided, Masa slipped by hurriedly; an answering blush gracing his elfin face.
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50 ways to love