Not such a bad idea! | By : KarinVAM Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 4759 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Ville couldn’t be happier when his plane finally stopped moving and he was allowed to get out. He didn’t like flying much, even though he did it all the time. His profession kind of made it impossible not too. And of course he would toughen up and go on a plane to see his best buddy.
A little rime he had once heard in some bar crossed his mind for a second….how did it go again?
A friend is just a friend, a mate is just a mate, a buddy is a friend you have sex with.
Ville was sure it had went something like that, and he felt a little blush creeping up his face. Great, now he could never refer to Bam as his buddy again without thinking about this. Better stick with friend.
He smiled when he walked into the hall and saw Bam already waiting for him at the nearest entranced. He waved with his gloved clad hand to his…’friend’ who smiled brightly and waved back, walking up to him so they met halfway the hall.
“Bammie, at last.” Ville cried out dramatically and put down his suitcases so he could wrap Bam into a friendly hug.
“Willa, my buddy, good to see you.”
Ville swallowed hard and shook his head. ‘Let it go you fag.’ He cursed inwardly.
‘A buddy is a friend you have sex with. A buddy is a friend you fuck.’
He hold Bam in a tight embrace, as they always did when they saw each other. But when he heard Bam letting out a shaky breath and felt a shiver going down his spine he let go sooner then he had intended to. Maybe he was making Bam uncomfortable.
Bam signed when he felt Ville pulling away from him. The hug had been shorter then it usually was, and Bam wondered if Ville maybe felt how much it affected him.
‘Goddamnit, Goddamnit, GODDAMNIT!’
Seeing Ville after so long felt so good, but different this time since…..since his head had started to fuck with him. The last week he had slumped into some kind of depression and locked himself in his room pretty much every single day. Reading, reading and reading about his forbidden desires.
Ville would never love him this way. He would never…God, it would never happen. And even though Bam fought this with everything he had, he could never win this fight.
‘A chain is a strong as his weakest link. He is my weakest link.’ He though, and pushed his fingernails into the palm of his hand.
‘Hear me, for the fuck sake. I sound like a fucking girl.’
Seeing Ville, hearing Ville, smelling Ville, feeling Ville….it made him want to burst out into tears. He was so close to the one person he couldn’t stop thinking about, and he knew he would never, ever be with him.
‘Read about it. Read, read, read and close your eyes. Pretend they are right. The fans, who write about it, pretend they are right. Pretend it is real.’
That was his mantra these days, and he did just that, because it was the only thing that kept him from crying, or pulling out his hair in frustration.
He had hoped that Ville’s arrival would make things better. Would make him realize it was just a crazy fantasy, and that everything would be like it always was. Him and Ville hanging out drinking, some innocent and meaningless flirting and feelings tucked away deep inside. No harm done.
But now, as Ville was standing here, he was aching and longing and hurting all at once. He felt like he little boy with a pout and big blue eyes, staring up at Ville, holding out his arms and wearing a pink shirt that said; Love Me Ville!
http://s104.photobucket.com/albums/m183/KarinVAM/th_LoveVille.jpg
“Are you alright darling? You look a little pale, and you are shaking. Are you coming down with something?”
‘Darling. Darling. Darling. Darling. Darling.’ Was the only think that kept echoing in his head. Oh god please, don’t call me that, please Ville. They write about you calling me that, and doing it because you are secretly in love with me. And I’m with you. It means something when they write about it. Please don’t call me darling if you don’t mean it.
‘Fuck, what was he asking me again?’
“I’m fine man, just a hangover, that’s all.” Bam heard himself say. It was probably not even a lie, since alcohol was becoming his best friend these days. It made me feel better, or sometimes worst. But if he drank enough, he would become numb, and that was a feeling he welcomed with open arms right now. He didn’t want to feel.
“Oh Bammie, started without me last night, didn’t you?” Ville joked, and he pulled his arm around him as they walked outside together. Bam tingled all over, and tried not to notice the heat that reradiated off Ville’s body.
‘Started without him last night? Did he mean…? Yes he did think about Ville again, and jerked off with closed eyes and the image of them clearly in his head, Oh god did he know…Did he?’
“OH, you mean the drinking!”
He yelled out loud without even realizing it, when he suddenly understood Ville hadn’t been talking about anything sexual. God he was starting to loose it.
“Yeah sweetheart, what did you think I was talking about?” Ville frowned. Bam was acting strange. He could tell Bam was really nervous and he couldn’t get his mind around it. The only time he had seen Bam nervous like this was when they had first met. He had been standing backstage, a little unsteady and with a shy voice. His hand had been sweaty when Ville had shook it, and he had smiled when Bam breathlessly told him how much he loved his work. How brilliant he was and how he was his biggest fan. He had liked him right away, with his brilliant blue eyes and messy brown hair. His boyish smile could light up every room, and he could always make everyone smile without even trying.
They were so different. Nothing like each other, and that’s why they fit so well. He had loved him from the first second, and knew Bam adored him as well. That wasn’t a secret since his face covered every wall in Bam bedroom.
Sometimes, when they had fallen asleep together in his room, or a random hotel, he had watched him sleep and stroked his hair. Thinking about what it would be like to run his hand trough it as their lips met and……but it was just because he was drunk. He was just drunk and horny at the time. Nothing else.
He kept convincing himself this, even though he was not always drunk, or not always just horny.
“Nothing. I’m sorry. I blame the hangover.” Bam smiled, and leaned into Ville despite himself.
‘Touch me, breath on me please. I take anything I can get.’
‘Stop being such a desperate little fuck.’
‘Am I debating with myself?’
“Earth to Bam? Sweetheart, are you gonna open the car?”
‘Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.’
‘Bleep’
“Get in, I’ll put your stuff in the back, and then we’ll go home.”
Ville smiled and got into the passenger seat.
Home. He liked the sound of that. Like it is his home too.
‘I guess it kind of is my home a bit. It always feels like home.’
Behind the car, Bam was lifting up the bags and putting them carefully in the trunk.
‘Put yourself together you pussy.’ He winced, and got behind the steering wheel. When Ville winked at him with a bright smile and removed he jacket so the smooth skin of his tattooed arms showed. Bam playfully winked back, but inwardly he was cursing.
“This going to be a hell of a long 2 weeks.”
*Hi sweet readers!
You are all too kind! I’m very new to the whole Vam fanfic thing, but it is so cool to get all these wonderful reaction! Really makes me want to write and update soon. I even made a little Bam-in-pink-shirt image to illustrate it a little LOL Sorry, Photoshop hates me, so this is all I could do, but I still think it looks cute =P Little Bammie asking for love!
Well, I probably update soon, since my best friend got a boyfriend now and pretty much dumped me on my ass. So I’ve got a lot of free time.
Again, sorry for possible spelling errors, and thanks so much for understanding. You guys are awesome!
Much love and cookies for all!*
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