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Kiss Me, Kill Me	By : teacups Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 3628 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Kiss Me, Kill Me
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- 3-two
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I laid in bed for hours that night underneath the safety of my grandmother’s quilt. The heavy patchwork blanket was one of my very few true comforts in life. It was ancient, littered with holes, and I could never quite get the musty smell out of the material after it had been stored away for long, but wrapped up within in it I felt home.

Sleep was never something that had come easy for me. I had to fight tooth and nail for every second that I got. Tonight was no exception. I thought far too much for sleep. The second my head hit the pillow, my brain races. Everything I’d done that day surges through me like a drug. Every word I said gets analyzed to death.

It’s nearly impossible for me to find peace.

Especially tonight. Not even cocooned in the warmth of the quilt. Tonight was different.

Frank Iero had kissed me. Just out of the blue kissed me. It’s not like I hadn’t been kissed before, and now that I looked back on it, I don’t even know if it could be considered a kiss. I’d stood there frozen while he’d just barely pressed his lips to mine. It had been over before it had even started.

What I couldn’t understand is why that disappointed me so much.

There, I said it. It disappointed me. After that shock had worn off, I’d wanted him to pull me to him. I’d wanted him to crush his mouth to mine and show me why he was so damn cocky.

I still wanted him to show me.

Rolling over onto my back with a huff, I stared up at the ceiling in hopes of getting lost in the blank white. Instead, I could have sworn I saw his face in the spackle.

---

“My head hurts so bad,” Ryan mumbled, face down on his bed.

I smiled to myself. “Well that’s usually what follows a night of binge drinking. That or death really.”

“Death sounds nice right now.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you want me to get you something?”

He grunted dramatically, causing me to roll my eyes. “I take that as no.”

We sat there in complete silence together, just enjoying the quiet company. I think that’s why we worked so well. There was no need for mindless prattle. Everyone around us talked so damn much, but together we had entire conversations without ever opening our mouths. Like Mrs. Mia Wallace had once said in Pulp Fiction, that’s when you knew you found someone special.

I smiled to myself. “God damn. I said God damn.”

“What are you rambling about now?” Ryan asked, still laying face down so that the pillow muffled his words.

“Nothing at all.”

Mia Wallace had cocaine. I had Ryan.

“So what’d you do after the party?” he asked after another long stretch of silence. He rolled onto his back and gave me a tiny smile that broke my heart.

My head snapped up, and I made the mistake of looking at him as the panic flashed in my eyes. “Home. Sleep. The usual.”

“Liar.” He shifted so he was sitting up on his elbows, staring me down.

I sighed heavily, flicking my long auburn bangs out of my face. “I’m not lying. Why would I lie?”

The intense staring continued. I didn‘t stand a chance. “I dunno Lainee, you tell me.”

“Alright.” I rolled my eyes to seem nonchalant. I’d never been a very good actress, and with the way he was looking at me I knew he could practically hear my heart pounding against my ribcage. “I had a bit of an encounter with someone unexpected.”

I dug my fingers into the soft cream colored carpet like if I didn’t hold on tight enough the floor would swallow me hole.

He quirked an eyebrow in a way I normally would have found adorable. Now it seemed like a silent accusation. “An encounter? With who?”

My grip on the carpet tightened. “…Frank Iero.”

“You’re mumbling.”

“Frank Iero,” I repeated louder this time, not looking up.

Ryan let out a chocking sound before sitting up completely in one jerky movement. “What?!”

“He apologized,” I explained slowly. “Don’t ask me what brought it on. I have no idea.”

My skin tingled at the thought. I’d never tell Ryan that he’d kissed me. I’d never tell him how nice the metal of his lip ring felt brushing across my lips. I’d never tell him how I’d gone home that night, not being able to stop wondering how it would feel on the rest of my flesh. Never.

“He apologized,” he repeated slowly before shaking his head. “That’s just…”

“Unexpected?” I offered, a gnawing feeling at the pit of my stomach.

He snorted, “You’re actually taking it like he was serious?”

Running my hand through my hair, I said, “I don’t know. Maybe he was?”

“You can’t be for real!”

“People change Ryan,” I bit out with more edge than I’d intended. “Maybe he’s changed.”

“You’re so fucking naïve,” he bit back. He threw his covers back and stood, before beginning to pace the small expanse of floor between me and his bed. The repetition made me dizzy but I couldn’t look away from him.

He looked so torn and I had no idea why. Ryan and Frank hated each other, yes, but it was just an apology as far as he knew. Yet there he paced, raking a large hand through his golden hair in frustration. It was such a familiar scene, but also one I wasn’t used to causing.

“And why is that? Because I’m willing to accept an apology?”

“Lainee, you just don‘t get it do you? You’re too trusting because you haven’t been burned before. Yet, you seem to know everything.” He paused, and I seriously thought he was going to punch the wall. “You and me both know it so shut the hell up with your false wisdom alright?”

My eyes hardened. I hadn’t been burned? I hadn’t been fucking burned? I got thrown into the fire every time I watched him with another girl.

“Excuse me if I don’t whore myself around to get this so called life experience. I’m so sorry for waiting for someone who I love and I trust. I’m so sorry that I have a little bit of self respect!”

“Lainee…”

“No!” My shoulders were taunt, my breathing unnecessarily heavy. “Do you even know half the name’s of the girls you’ve fucked? Honestly, do you?”

“I’m not taking this shit right now…”

“Fine, run like you always do!” I jumped to my feet. I was too tightly wound to sit.

“Please leave. I don’t want to fight with you,” he said coldly, his eyes looking everywhere but at me.

Swallowing back salty tears, I nodded bleakly. I stood there for a second, my entire body stiff with pent up resentment and dejection before saying softly, “You‘re my best friend Ryan, and I love you. No matter what you say or do. I just…I love you.”

More than you know.

He didn’t say anything, he just stared out his window like the all the answers to his problems were written in the clouds. Someday, maybe he’d look at me in the same way.
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Kiss Me, Kill Me