Das ist mein Teil | By : aerie01 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Rammstein Views: 1776 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Rammstein. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I didn't see Till again until the Amerika video shoot, about a month later. I thought I'd distracted myself sufficiently with Paul, who had been my fuck-buddy on and off through the years, certainly nothing hot and heavy or romantic there. We just enjoyed each other's company, and didn't ask more from it. But no matter what I did, or who I was with, I kept going back to that night in the bar, and how relieved and happy Till had been to get his awful secret off his chest. As the shoot neared, I began to feel more and more uneasy. Had he told Richard? And if so, were they now lovers? Would being around them be an impossible ordeal for me?
I began to dread my job and my friends. Never, in all our time together, had I ever actually dreaded Rammstein, and that included our "War of the Roses" years, when all we seemed to do was fight. That, at least, I could turn off and walk away from, knowing that that was simply what made us who we are and that eventually, we’d find a resolution. This, though, stalked me unrelentingly. I suppose I could’ve called Till and asked how things went with Richard. After all, we were good friends. Yet, I think I was afraid to know.
And so it was with extreme anxiety that I walked onto the set at Rüdersdorf, greeting my colleagues as they arrived and marveling at the 240 tons of ash and black sheeting that had been brought in to replicate the moonscape. I had to admit, it all looked very cool, especially our authentic American spacesuits, borrowed from Hollywood. We would learn that Donald Sutherland got his penis caught in the zipper of Till’s – how very appropriate, considering, I thought, hiding an evil snicker behind my hand. Luckily, when Richard arrived, Flake was jumping up and down and bending every which way to try out his suit and I was laughing too hard at his gawky antics to react much to the appearance of my rival. But where was Till? They hadn’t shown up together – was that significant? Richard seemed the same as the last time I’d seen him and certainly didn’t look like he was glowingly in love, nor did he keep watching the door for his paramour. I was seriously confused now.
And Till’s eventual entrance did nothing to help it, although I thought it very odd for him to be late. He apologized and ducked into the dressing room with me in hot pursuit. I figured I might as well get it over with, because the suspense was killing me.
“Hi, Till,” I said nonchalantly as I went over to my own locker, pretending to look for something inside – and distinctly not looking at the way he filled out that black t-shirt he was wearing, or at what was underneath when he pulled it off. “How’s everything?”
I think his answer was a sort of grunt. We were alone in the room and that gave me a perfect opportunity to ask him a more intimate question. “How did it go with Richard?” I held my breath.
“Perhaps we’ll talk about it later, ja?”
And that was that. I could glean no information from his demeanor and worse, we were being called to makeup and there was no more time for chit chat.
“Sure,” I said, following him.
The next twelve hours seemed endless. From 5 PM to 5 AM, we played at being American astronauts, and it was easy to lose myself in the grind. I beat at those drums in double time until my arms were sore, all the while making it look like I couldn’t have been cooler or more relaxed. It was a distinct blessing – it kept me focused and less aware of how handsome Till looked in his spacesuit. But then, when it was over for the day, I felt like falling over, both from fatigue and emotional distress. I knew I had to let this go or else, my relationships with my friends would be ruined forever, and they were too important to let that happen. Somehow, I had to reconcile all of this before it got any worse because frankly, I didn’t know how I’d survive it otherwise. If Richard and Till were now together, it was my duty as their friend to be supportive and celebrate the joining of their hearts, despite the breaking of my own.
I saw Till walking alone to his car and trotted after him through the parking lot; Richard was nowhere in sight, which I thought was curious. “Feel like getting some breakfast?” I offered, trying to be cheerful. As cheerful as it was possible to be at that hour after that long, long night, at any rate. Till turned, seemingly surprised to see me and motioned for me to get in the car. But he didn’t start the engine. Instead, we just sat there silently looking at the dawn coming up over Berlin, streamers of light painting the clouds with a soft orange glow. I have to say, it was beautiful watching the birth of that July morning beside the man I loved. I studied his profile, the straight nose and strong chin, the way I could see through his eyes, and I waited.
His face was impassive. He would give nothing away. And then finally, he cleared his throat and said, “Well, I told Richard...and the timing couldn’t have been worse. He and Caron had just had a fight and apparently, it’s over.”
I couldn’t help it. “Oh god.”
“So there I went, blundering into the middle of it, so happy and sure of myself.” Exhaling, Till put his head back against the bolster and suddenly seemed to shrink into himself. “I suppose he could’ve been a real prick about the whole thing but he was really very compassionate, and he said that although he loved me, he didn’t have those kinds of feelings for me. Besides, he was way too fucked up to entertain any sort of relationship with anyone now...
"Oh Schneider, I feel like such a fool...."
Still looking straight ahead, those clear eyes filled with tears. I said nothing initially, just slid an arm around his trembling shoulders. Despite my own personal joy -- which I must say, felt very selfish, I absolutely wanted to kill Richard for this. Seeing Till in such pain was awful, and I would've felt that way about anyone who hurt him. However, Richard was also my friend, and hearing of the breakup of his marriage was sad. He did the gallant thing in letting Till down easy, and that redeemed him enormously in my eyes.
"You must think I'm a huge pussy," Till murmured, "All I do in front of you is cry."
"You're not a pussy and you're not a fool. Unrequited love hurts, Till -- I admire more the fact that you're secure enough not to hide how you feel. And that you feel safe with me."
He nodded, sniffing, but he was obviously still embarrassed. This was surely not easy for a man to do, particularly a man with as complicated a mystique as Till's. He was definitely more sensitive than most realized, not to mention the fact that these were feelings he'd buried for years that he’d finally had the courage to air. Lord knows I empathized.
I put my lips to his temple, trying desperately not to be overwhelmed by his nearness and masculine scent, and kissed gently, soothingly, I hoped. Till closed his eyes, releasing a little whimper of despair but he sat still, allowing me to comfort him. "It'll be alright, Till," I cooed, kissing him again, but suddenly he turned his head, and those eyes were boring like augers into mine. I was so close -- too close -- his hand tightening its grip on my upper arm prevented me from moving away.
"It was me, wasn't it," he said softly. He made my heart stop. Scheiße.
I tried to look shocked. I blurted, "What are you talking about?", although I knew exactly what he was talking about. Too clever for your own good you are, Lindemann.
"Schneider...when I told you about Richard...you said you also had feelings for someone - you meant me."
I didn't answer. I couldn't, simply dropped my gaze to the floor, pondering what could be a graceful exit from probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. He cupped my chin in a big palm and turned my face back towards him. I wondered if he could feel me tremble.
"It appears that I'm an even bigger fool than I'd thought." His chuckle was sad and rueful.
And then he kissed me. Gently. Shyly. A soft press of curious lips. I wanted it. Of course I did. But I had to stop him, had to know. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back just the slightest bit.
"Wait. Wait, Till. If this' some sort of act of pity...."
"Pity for you...or me?"
"For you?" Now that took me aback. "Why would I have pity for you?"
"Because I've never..."
And right at that moment, when Till blushed and somehow managed to look like a callow schoolboy for all his muscles and dominant mien, I instantly decided that no matter what was motivating this, and even if it never happened again, I would gladly be whatever he needed me to be. We were both men, it was no different from what I did with Paul, it was out of comfort and a need to be wanted from which Till would come to me now. And I'd be damned happy to get it too. Even if his heart yearned for another.
"I would never pity you for that," I whispered, stroking my fingers through the short hairs at the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and leaned into the caress like a big cat having his ears scratched. And I reached over and softly kissed his eyelids, making him grunt in pleasure. God, my pants felt that sound. My cock, half-hard already, sprang to granite attention now in anticipation of what I was about to do. Breathless, I said, "I want to make you feel good -- if you'll let me."
His answering nod was almost imperceptible. Obviously he was nervous. And maybe he was afraid I'd misconstrue what this was going to mean. "I know. I know it's Richard you want...I don't expect you to love me."
For the first time he smiled and the light in his eyes was dazzling. "But Schneider, of course I love you."
Ironic, no? But I knew what he meant, and it was enough. It would have to be.
It occurred to me then that deflowering Till – oh now there was an oxymoron – in his car – even in the more spacious back seat – was not exactly romantic, and he deserved so much better. Would that I could have, I’d have laid him out on a feather bed and fucked him until he begged for mercy, yet that entailed driving somewhere, and I don’t think either of us wanted to lose the mood. Inside the building? Where, inside? Everything was covered with fake moon sand and I suspected that that grit getting into sensitive places would be less than comfortable. Besides, Jörn and some of the crew were still there, no doubt – our director was indefatigable. Not exactly private. So scanning around, I chose the only place left.
Till fetched a blanket from the back and we hiked a little ways from the building to an area where the grass was overgrown and lush and would’ve hidden us from curious eyes should any have come looking for us. “I think this’ very fitting,” Till said with a giggle, spreading out the blanket and seating himself on it. “I lost my virginity the first time on a haystack.”
That’s right. I remembered that story. “This cherry will be different to lose,” I reassured him, sitting too. “It won’t be anywhere near as traumatic.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Look at how long you and I have been friends – it’s not as if our bodies are exactly unknown to each other either. And before you get all freaked out, not to worry. *That* won’t be on the menu for your first time,” I added, reading correctly the apprehension in his eyes that disappeared with my words. “Not that I...”
“Schneider?”
“Ah?”
“Shut up.”
“Um...right.”
I moved close to Till and smiling, kissed him, tasted him and almost exploded at the first slick touch of our tongues together. Pretty sad, Christoph, to come in your pants from just one kiss, I thought briefly, and then didn’t think much else after that. Over and out. My brain wasn’t needed anymore. Moaning, he opened to me, letting me explore his lovely mouth to my heart’s content and I opened my eyes to find that I had pushed him to the blanket, to his back in my enthusiasm. He panted, looking up at me with a mixture of fear and awe that made me feel amazingly powerful, like the best drugs in the world were zooming through my veins. And in truth, no drug could touch this. To be fulfilling the fantasy I’d held for over ten years...I almost couldn’t believe it.
His hands wormed their way under my shirt, reaching skin, and he stroked my back in wide, warm circles, finally pulling off the garment and laying it beside us. “I don’t think I ever noticed before how beautiful you are, Chris,” he murmured in a voice as deep and blackvelvetdark as sin, an admiring smile curving his lips. Man, if that didn’t make me feel great. And now his fingers roamed my chest, investigating all the hills and valleys, figure-eighting around first one nipple then the other while my heart banged inside and my cock begged to be let out of my pants. Miraculously, I still hadn’t gotten a stitch of clothing off him, a detail he seemed to notice at the same moment.
“Why don’t we both strip off – it’ll be easier,” he suggested, reaching for the hem of his own shirt and yanking it over his head, unceremoniously doing much the same with his pants and the rest and placing everything on our ever-growing pile of clothes. I nodded, trying not to stare at all that gorgeous flesh he revealed. Finally, naked together in the morning sun, we lay kissing in each other’s arms, our erections rubbing together in a way that was seriously interfering with my breathing. A butterfly hovered over us momentarily before continuing on its way.
“It’s so different...and yet not,” was his cute observation, grinding his hips to increase the friction and letting out a soft moan of enjoyment. “Oh it’s good.”
I couldn’t help but laugh with joy. Wasn’t I supposed to be leading him? Ah but instinct was quickly taking over, and Nature Boy definitely did know how to enjoy himself. I should not’ve been surprised. Yet I knew some tricks sure to be appreciated. I urged Till to sit up and eased myself into his lap, legs around his waist – all the better to get at that beautiful chest and I suckled his nipples until the air was almost screaming in his lungs. And then, with joined hands, we enfolded our two cocks in a tight, loving grip, twisting and pulling for all we were worth while we rocked up and down, back and forth in synch. God, I’d never felt anything as incredible as this. His skin was hot, wet, his cock silky and every bit as rock hard as my own – he was hard for me! – it was a wonder sparks weren’t flying off our bodies.
Till gasped suddenly, wrapping his arms around me to pull me tightly against his chest as his head went back and he let out a soul-rending groan, covering us both in a shower of warm semen that made me quake to feel. I wasn’t more than a few seconds behind him, literally screaming out my ecstasy. My vision whited out, I came so hard. We collapsed to the blanket, shivering to ride out the aftershocks together, and Till kissed me when our breathing returned to normal.
"Fantastisch," he whispered, stroking my arms and chest, the smile in his voice apparent. I cuddled myself against him and kissed his throat, loving that I had given him this gift. And how beautiful and right that it was out here in the open, with nothing to hide or fear.
It was going to be another perfect blue-sky summer day. We lay on our backs and watched the clouds scud by, the gathering warmth making the air smell verdant and alive. Suddenly, I felt exhausted. After a twelve hour day -- and now this -- I was completely worn out. I so wanted to sleep in his arms but then it occurred to me that appearing on the set later with twin sunburns in delicate areas would not exactly be in our best interest. Instead, I sat up and observed him. His lips were swollen red from our kisses, his cheeks flushed. But the best part was the look of peace and fulfillment that was now on his handsome face where before I'd seen only heartache. Herzeleid.
Fantastisch? Yes Till, you are. “So...", I giggled, reaching for his hand and playing with the fingers, feeling cheeky now, "I guess you liked it, then."
"Yes shithead, I liked it. Stop trying to be so humble -- you'll hurt yourself."
What the hell, I figured. I've been this far, I might as well go for broke. "Do you...think you'd like to do it again some time -- and maybe more?"
"Well, that depends."
"Depends?"
"Mm-hm. You don't, by chance, still have that Frau Schneider outfit, do you?"
His expression had changed to a smirk that was so downright naughty, I had to laugh. "You kinky bugger! Frau Schneider, eh?"
"I have to say -- I liked you as a half-man, half-woman...thing. It was quite...shall we say...inspirational."
My mouth went dry. Inspirational? He could've only meant one thing, and at the thought of him wanking and thinking of me, my cock gave a lazy stir and looked around for seconds. Hmm...what's this? He was also half-hard again, and threw me a suggestive wink. Fuck the sunburn. I'd risk it.
With a giggle, I dove down between his legs, submerging myself in his musky scent, and drove a sharp gasp out of him as I took him into my mouth. And my last thought, before I lost myself in bliss was, "Ja, das ist mein Teil...." and with any luck, it might always be so.
While AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
All works displayed here, whether pictorial or literary, are the property of their owners and not Adult-FanFiction.org. Opinions stated in profiles of users may not reflect the opinions or views of Adult-FanFiction.org or any of its owners, agents, or related entities.
Website Domain ©2002-2017 by Apollo. PHP scripting, CSS style sheets, Database layout & Original artwork ©2005-2017 C. Kennington. Restructured Database & Forum skins ©2007-2017 J. Salva. Images, coding, and any other potentially liftable content may not be used without express written permission from their respective creator(s). Thank you for visiting!
Powered by Fiction Portal 2.0
Modifications © Manta2g, DemonGoddess
Site Owner - Apollo