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A place in the dark	By : Mcrmylife Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 1211 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“Come on Adalie, it’s your birthday party, you gotta go!”

“I never said that I wasn’t going. I only said that I didn’t want to go.” I explained, seeing the pleading look on Jaimee’s face.

It was true, if there had been at least one reason that I could have found that day for not going to this party, then I would have used it. It sounded so ungrateful, not wanting to go to your own birthday party but that was just how i felt. Jaimee, on the other hand was over the moon that there was actually a party to go to. I felt like the kid who was trying to get out of school, and that was wrong, so wrong for a twenty four year old.

We had walked the four blocks to my parents house, I stood at the gates looking up at the height of the iron bars, the pillars with the half dog half dragon type creatures on the top. Imposing wasn’t the word, back to prison, was more of the thought that came to mind.

“When is Tam getting here?”
I snapped back to reality to realise that poor Jaimee had been chatting for the last few minutes and I hadn’t heard a word before that question.

“Later, you know what Tam’s like, she’s probably out in some graveyard somewhere collecting nettles.”

Jaimee put a hand over her mouth to stop herself laughing.
“You can’t say stuff like that, she’s our friend.”

“I know, I know. I was only kidding, I..oh for fucks sake...”
There on the front door was a huge bundle of balloons with ‘25’ printed on them in gaudy silver writing. Only my parents could forget how old I was. Taking a deep breath I rang the doorbell, it took a minute or so for my mother to answer the door.

“Adalie, darling! I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve all been waiting for you.” She pulled me through to the entrance hall and started removing my coat.

“I can do that..” I shrugged her off.

“Sorry darling, sorry, and your friend would be?”

“Jaimee, I did tell you on the phone already.” I waved an arm in the direction of Jaimee who was almost hiding behind me. I couldn’t blame her to be honest, my mother was a formidable presence at the best of times.

“Thankyou for the invite Mrs Beckett.” Jaimee chipped in brightly, holding out a hand. I grabbed her shoulder and directed her out into the main lounge where the ‘party’ was going on.

“Don’t over do it..” I warned.
My entrance seemed to be unnoticed, maybe one or two people turned around but that was all. I hadn’t a clue who any of them were, and that was a classic example of my mothers party planning, she had invited all of her own friends, in the end this was just a ‘lets show off my new interior decoration’ party. Not to say that the house wasn’t stunning, but several over fifties lounging about with cigars and talking about golf or the price of their mortgage investment wasn’t really my thing.

“Come and see Olivia, she’s been waiting to talk to you.”

“Yeah, er mum I’m gonna get a drink and then I’ll be over.” I rolled my eyes at Jaimee and she just grinned. I knew it wouldn’t be too long before Olivia was mentioned.

Olivia Beckett James as she was now known, was my twin sister. Although for anyone who saw us together, the only similarity would be our height and faces. Back in my teens we had got on really well, I always knew that she was the 'favourite' but we had always stuck together. We liked the same music, the same clothes, laughed about the same things and comforted each other when we cried. But time changes things, in a big way. At some point we divided off into different worlds. Unfortunately my mother approved of Olivia’s world, and not so much mine.

“It’s not too bad!” Jaimee commented brightly.

“Bad, its worse than bad...” I scowled as another social climber passed me on the way out to the garden. We had found a few bean bags and crashed out in the conservatory, out of the way. The party was two hours gone and not getting any better.

“My parents wouldn’t have even bothered with throwing a party for me,”She started, “So lets just try and enjoy it. I bet they even got you a shit hot birthday present!”

I gave her one of my most unimpressed looks.
“Yeah, that would really make up for seven years of being ignored and cast out. At least your parents love you, mine don’t.”

“Aw Ade, they do!”

“No they don’t. I’m a product, that went bad. An embarrassment. That’s why she told me what to wear tonight."
Jaimee looked slightly shocked but it was true. The dress I was wearing was one that I had bought especially, but the long sleeved top that I had added was only because of my mothers request, because she was ashamed, ashamed of what her daughter had become.

“Adalie!” I looked up to see Olivia hovering over me, practically perfect as always. She drew me into a strong hug.

“Happy birthday sweetie!”

“Thanks..” I choked through inhaling her extreme amounts of perfume. Standing back to look at me she looked extra happy, well happier than usual.

“I like your dress.”

“Thanks, I um like yours too.” I lied. In fact it couldn’t be called a dress, more like a baggy sack. But more than that, knowing my sister it was a designer sack. In an instant my mother was beside us, trying to look resplendent in the hideous purple peacock dress she was wearing.

“Both my darlings together!” She cooed in a patronising way. “Come with me, I’d like you to meet David.” I took a deep breath and glanced at Olivia, she looked calm as usual, now was the time I had been dreading. Meeting my new step father. We were lead out to the decking where a bearded guy sat amongst the ‘my mother’ fan club.

“Hello, and you would be Olivia and Adalie.” He started , holding out a hand which Olivia shook confidently. I stood back until she had finished.

“Hi..” I muttered and did the quickest ‘I don’t want to be here’ shaking of hands that could be done. I glanced back over to where Jaimee was sitting and smiled as she pulled a face in my direction.

“So this is the one...” He carried on, keeping hold of my hand even though I was pulling back. Rolling up my sleeve he investigated my arms like he was some sort of forensics expert. Once again I felt like the dead body, unable to move and say what I really wanted to which would have been a resounding “fuck off”.

“Yes we can do something about this” He continued. “ A few sessions and I’d say six months and they will all be gone.”

“What?” I looked up confused.

“Your tattoos, I can do something about them.”

I pulled my arm away roughly and backed off rubbing my arm, my mother looked at me, full of smiles.
“David works at the hospital. He’s an expert in skin treatments and laser tattoo removal. He can get rid of all of those...things for you.”

“But I don’t want him to...I like my tattoos.”

“Yes darling but the rest of the world don’t like them. Just think without those ghastly things you could get a better job, find yourself a nice young man.”

“No.” I stopped her. “I have a job and for your information I don’t need a ‘nice young man’ believe me I've had enough of those to last me a lifetime!”

“But you could have a better job, and just think of all the lovely single men there are here tonight. I’m sure I could introduce you to one or two of them if you’re feeling shy. Some of them are quite well off you know!” She insisted with concerned eyes. The same eyes that said she would never love me until I became exactly what she was. I marched back over to Jaimee and grabbed her arm to pull her up from where she sprawled in the corner.

“Get your things, we’re leaving.”

“But Tam’s not here yet..”

“Call Tam, tell her to get her ass over to my place. We’re gonna celebrate my birthday properly!”. I took a bottle of wine from a side table and claimed it as my own. If this was supposed to be my party then I was going to make the most of whatever I could. I drank down a quarter of the bottle at once.

I have always wondered how strange it was, that alcohol can become ever so much more drinkable when you are angry, and the worst was yet to come. A small tinkling noise alerted the attention of everyone to my mother who was stood up on the steps at the far end of the conservatory.

“Helloooo, could I have your attention!” She called out tapping a crystal wine glass with a spoon. I secretly hoped the damn glass would break, preferably if it was full of red wine. That would ruin her stupid designer dress. I leaned back against the wall to see what she was going on about.

“Well I thank you all for coming tonight and celebrating with us. I’d like to make an announcement if I may.” A low mumble rose around the room and I glanced back at Jaimee who was cross legged on the floor with one finger in her ear and chatting away on the phone in a low voice.

“My lovely daughter Olivia,and her wonderful husband Steven would like to let you all know that they are expecting their first child. I’m going to be a grandmother.” An applause went around the room, the type that you would expect to find at a cricket match. I glared at my mother, the way they all crowded around her, Olivia standing beside her holding her stomach and smiling. It was the final nail in the coffin so to speak.

“Ade don’t” I heard Jaimee calling out behind me, I shook off her hand as she tried to stop me walking over. I took another few mouthfuls from the bottle and banged it down on the table behind my sister. There was a sudden silence and I looked around at all the faces that were now fixed on me. Maybe this was my moment, maybe I was just too drunk, and maybe they would never know how much was already crying inside.

“I don’t know if any of you know me,” I started, “But I’m Adalie Beckett, and this is supposed to be my birthday party. But I don’t think many of you actually know that do you?”

“Adalie, darling. You’re drunk. Go and sit down..”

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you” I turned to face her, only inches away from her. “You had to do this didn’t you. You make out that you want to throw me a birthday party, make up for all those years we missed...”

“I do darling..I..”

“Don’t call me darling. I’m not your fucking darling.”

“Now Adalie, don’t speak to your mother like that..” David had a strong hold on my elbow as I staggered slightly to keep my balance.

“I should have known, this is all for you, and an excuse to announce Olivia’s news. Strange isn’t it that when I told you I was..”

“Stop it now!” My mother warned, and I knew even through my drunkenness that I shouldn’t go on with that line of argument. She didn't want me telling them anything, telling them about my past and all the things I had done that would blacken her perfect life. I turned around to look at them all and by now I had tears down my cheeks, I could feel my make up melting down my face and they were all staring, staring at me.

“Enjoy the party....you all deserve it!” I shouted and taking off my top and tossing it in the direction of my mother’s face. I was left standing in the original dress I had chosen. I didn’t stop to see the reaction to my tattoos, or the scars criss crossing my arms that always showed up deep red after I had a few drinks. I didn’t care anymore. Pushing past David I strode across the room and they all stepped back, they all stepped back to let me through. I bit my bottom lip, not letting myself cry until I got outside those prison gates once again.

“Adalie!”

I turned to see Olivia gripping on to the gates and pleading at me with her eyes to come back.

“Congratulations.” I shouted back at her. “ Now go back and enjoy your party.” I never turned back, even though my tears burned like acid against my cheeks and I wanted it to be the same, as all those years ago when my sister was my best friend. I was leaving because this wasn't my party, and this wasn't my life.

Happy birthday.
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A place in the dark