Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

I'll save you from yourself	By : PunkyEmoFreak Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Tokio Hotel Views: 2243 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Tokio Hotel. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
|| Tom’s POV ||

“Daddy! Daddy, I’m hungry! Daddy, wake uuuup!” The little blonde kid was tugging on his fathers’ hand that was lying off the bed; he couldn’t have been more then two or three years old at that time. Parents both sleeping soundly in their bed, but his mom was against the wall and he couldn’t reach her. Daddy was right here, the little kid provoked his father.

“Daddy, I want cereal. Please, daddy?” He whined some more, wrinkling his nose in frustration that his father wouldn’t pay any attention to him. Wouldn’t wake up for him. “Daddy-” He stopped calling his fathers name and he yelped in pain when the hard hand he was holding came across his small face.

“Shut up, Tom.” His father screamed, lifting his head from the pillow and looking down at the child who had fallen to the floor from his fathers slap. He sighed from seeing the rapidly darkening skin on the small child’s face.

He grabbed the small child by the top of his pajama shirt once he sat up, pulling Tom into a hug in his arms. “Don’t cry, Tom. You’re going to wake your mother up.” He said, rubbing his back as the little boy hiccupped into his chest, “Go into the kitchen, Daddy will get you some breakfast.”

Those were the first thoughts in my head when Lacy asked something I had never heard her ask in the three years I’ve been in her group class. (My first two years here were all private group classes.) ‘We’re going to try something new today, something that may help us all understand each of us a little better everyday. We’re going to start talking more about our pasts.’ We’ve always talked about that, I was confused, but I didn’t show it though. ‘When we were all younger,’ I understood instantly now. ‘I want you all to think very hard, what is the very first thing you can remember about your childhood?’

Andreas started, as was usual. His was stupid, something about his dig running away when he was about five years old. The twins remembered the same thing; they remember their mom taking them to the park when they were four for the first time. Gustav was a little more interesting, he remembered when he was four he first saw his mom shoot up heroin in front of him. He was here for heroin- a habit he had gotten from his mother. Rachael remembered trying s sip of her dad’s beer when she was five, she didn’t like it. She became an alcoholic later though- she was seventeen now. Georg lied about his; I knew whenever he was lying for some reason. He said he could only ever remember happy things about his childhood, he remembered his fifth birthday party at the petting zoo. Georg hated animals, he had ever since he was younger then five. He told me, it was a lie.

When Lacy looked at me, I just looked at the ground. I remembered it clearly. It’s impossible to forget the last time your father ever hugged you, even more impossible to forget the first time he ever hit you. “Tom, you must remember something.” She said to me, I said nothing. I wouldn’t tell her it. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything about my dad. Ever. He was dead now anyways, so what did it matter? “It could help a lot, Tom. Why don’t you just try and tell us something?” I was still as silent as ever, not even pretending to pay attention anymore.

She sighed at this point, “You have to talk one day, Tom. We all know you can, I don’t see why you think it’s so needed for you to be quiet all the time.” And she never would understand it. No one had to understand it, they just had to accept it like Georg did. “Emma, please continue.”

Emma, Alan, Ricky, Peter, and Rochelle all remembered shit as equally boring as the twins. Parks and kisses from mommy and daddy. “Bill, what do you remember?” Lacy asked him and a wide smile spread across Bill’s lips.

“I remember once, when I was about, oh… four years old probably, my mom found me in her room after work. The babysitter had fallen asleep and I wasn’t supposed to be playing in there. I had gotten into her make-up, it was everywhere, lipstick drawn all over my skin, I was only in my underwear,” he giggled at that and flashed his smile at everyone, everyone but me and Georg was under his spell. Actually- I think Georg might have been as well, “I had blonde hair when I was little, and it was died in all these different eye-shadow colours. Blues and greens and pinks and stuff, it took forever to get out. But anyways, when she walked in I was tripping as I was strutting in front of her mirror in a pair of heals that were a million sizes to big for me.”

He giggled some more and a few others laughed as well, “Mom said it was the cutest thing she had ever seen me do. She said she knew then I was going to be gay when I was older. Go figure, she was right!” Jamie and James both flinched, but no one else did. The twins were rather homophobic- that’s why they were here I think. Something about trying to set a bomb off in their school when the gays, bi’s, and lesbians were having a support meeting. They had some pretty bad issues. Since they were only eleven when they did it, they got sent to a mental home to try and help them before they actually hurt someone. The bomb did nothing, but they still got in trouble. There childish minds thought that baking soda and vinegar would make a huge explosion.

Everyone else though, well, half of the kids here were gay. Andreas, Peter, Georg, Rachael, and Emma were all completely gay. Rochelle, Rick, and Gustav all went both ways. The twins and Alan were the only straight ones. I’ve thought about my sexuality before, I’ve finally come to the conclusion I’m a-sexual. I don’t get turned on by the thoughts of any boys or girls, they all make me sick.

By the time Bill was done with his story, I had completely turned out and was playing with the hem of my over-sized t-shirt waiting for Lacy to tell us we could leave. If I didn’t have to go to these, I wouldn’t. I used to not mind them so much, but ever since Bill got here a month ago- group was a nightmare. “Alright everyone, I want you to think hard about your first memories, think hard about everything about your pasts. We’ll discuss this more tomorrow. I think we made some good progress here today everyone,” we all knew I was excluded from ‘everyone’. “You can all be excused for today, head down to lunch now! I’ll see you all later.” There was a shuffling of chairs and people standing up to get out before Lacy spoke again, “Tom, stay behind for a moment- No! Not you too, Georg, just Tom right now.”

“Good luck man, I’ll check for mint for you.” Georg mumbled to me, patting my shoulder before following the rest of the class out of the room down to lunch. I hope they had my ice-cream, Georg was right- I wanted it. I stayed in my seat as Lacy got up from her chair and shut the door before she came and sat in Georg’s seat next to me.

“Tom, I know you remembered something after I asked the class that,” She said to me, pushing a few dreadlocks over my shoulder and I stiffened from her touch. She sighed and moved her hand instantly, “You’ve been in here for three years, I know when you’re thinking about something, Tom.” She told me, I believed her.

“Sweetie, I wish you would say something. Anything. Even a little ‘Hey’ from you would make all of here a lot happier.” I stayed silent; I wouldn’t even look at her. “Body language would show us something too, but you give us nothing to work with, Tom. You never have.” She was trying to get me to do something other then stare at the floor. “Everyone knows you give Georg the time of day, why him and no one else?” She asked, waiting for my answer and after a few minutes of dead silence she continued. “Tom, eye contact would be nice too,” she said, a little more harshly then any of her other words had been and grabbed my chin, making me look at her.

I instantly froze at her touch again, blank eyes looking into her upset and confused ones, “You and I will be having private meetings from now on. You no longer have to come to group.” I couldn’t believe my luck at this point, there had to be a catch. There had to be a reason she was letting me free from her group and offered more of her time to helping me and just me. “I don’t know what it is about Bill that bothers you so much, maybe it’s that he is roomed with you, but ever since he came to us for help- just like you and everyone else, you’ve become more detached from all of us then ever. Before you at least paid attention to what others were saying to you. Now there is nothing.”

Honestly, I didn’t know she noticed that much about me. I really didn’t think Lacy cared that much about me. I figured she was like everyone else here and just thought me a waste of space and tax-payers money. “Tom, you’re not a lost cause,” She said softly, I don’t think I could breathe when she said that. “I know you aren’t, you’re emotionally and physically isolated from the world the rest of us are living in. I think you have something to say, you’re just afraid to say it. I’m going to help you, Tom. If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

I was looking back at the ground at this point. My mind racing with everything she was saying. It was still in the room for another five minutes before I heard Lacy stand up besides me and felt her hand on my shoulder, “Starting tomorrow, you will not meet with us in here. You’re homework period is going to me moved to that time instead. You’ll meet with me in here after lunch instead,” That was bullshit! That was my free period where I could absolutely anything I wanted! “You’re free period will be after that instead, you and Georg will have the same one now. Free period starts today, everything else tomorrow.” I used to have homework period while Georg was in free period, I think Lacy did this on purpose.

“Go to lunch now, Tom.” She said softly to me, finally taking her hand from my rigid shoulder, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Don’t you have homework now?” Georg asked me as I walked into the music room with him. Mostly everyone in our group has a different free period, except for the best friends. Like the twins, or Emma and Rachael, or Gustav and Rochelle. I knew Bill had free period with Andreas now; Georg and I were the only ones with separate ones from everyone else. Me, since I was anti-social, and Georg, since his best friend was me. So we had the music room to ourselves. I had never been in here while someone else was in here before.

I shook my head though, answering Georg’s question. It was rare and few that Georg and I were completely alone like this. It was only times like this that I would answer some of Georg’s questions outright. Well, outright with body language. “No? Did it get change?” I nodded at him and he grinned, “So we’re in the same now?” I nodded again, “Sweet! Is homework during free period now?” he asked and I shook my head, “Group?” I nodded once more, “Fuck man!” Georg understood everything from those five gestures.

Usually it took him awhile to decode what I had been saying with my stares and subtle movements, but when I gave him straight yes or no answers, he caught on ten times faster. “That’s what lacy wanted then, isn’t it? Shit man! She changed around your whole routine to get you away from the faerie boy!” I nodded once more, “Alone?” He asked, I nodded for the last time. I had answered enough of his questions.

“Damn man, you are fucking lucky as fuck.” Georg told me, “I wish I could get out of that class. Well, then again, it’ll be harder for you I bet. You’re stuck alone with Lacy now.” I didn’t say anything. He was back to his non-stop talking to where he knew I wasn’t going to answer him. “I don’t know why she’s really doing it. I mean, it’ll just be an hour and a half of silence. Or rather, her talking and you ignoring her. So silence on your end. I know you won’t give her anything, you only do that for me,” He sounded strangely happy and proud of that fact.

I let Georg ramble on for awhile longer as he walked over to a checkered black and white bass guitar that was always under a combination lock. There were a few things under combination locks in here, it meant they belonged to a specific person here and was not for public use. The bass was cool looking, really nice and expensive- I never knew it was Georg’s. It had to be his since he undid the lock and picked up the bass. “I’ve played for years,” He explained, “It’s my favourite.” He told me.

I stood still for a moment, unsure of what to do. I had never played in front of anyone else before. But Georg started messing with his bass, tuning it a bit and I walked over to the glass case that held my own guitar. It was the only thing I had ever bought, before I was sent here. It was still as good as new, I cared for it more then I did anything else in the world. My Gibson guitar… it was black except all the edging of it was white. The music teacher knew I played it, but he had never heard me. Whenever I broke a string of it needed new ones, when I would come in here for free period, there were always new strings waiting for me by the glass case.

I unlocked the case and picked it up; I had only changed all the strings about two weeks ago. They were still perfect from then. “I had a feeling that was yours,” Georg told me; I hadn’t noticed he stopped playing his own bass. “You’re fingers are all calloused like mine. And the style of it just seemed like you. Obviously I hadn’t a clue who it really belonged too since no names are allowed on them,” Names weren’t allowed because if you had a vendetta against someone, you could try and ruin their instrument to fuck with them. Only the teacher, Mr. West, knew whose was who’s unless specifically told too by said owner. “But you just seemed like a Gibson type. I’m glad I was right, means I’m getting to know you better then I thought.”

Georg had that same proud tone in his voice then before and his face had turned the lightest shade of pink before he looked down at his own bass and began playing it again. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Georg liked me. But I doubt it; I don’t think that’s even possible, for anyone to really like me that way. Besides, I’m not gay so it shouldn’t even matter. But still, the way Georg watched me while I was playing my guitar made the suspicion grow a little more.

He wasn’t watching with just interest to see how well I could play, he was really watching me. Or I was just really getting paranoid. That must have been it! I was just getting really freaked out from Bill watching me all the time and the way lacy was talking today that I was just getting paranoid of my best friend. My friend and nothing else, not in either of our minds. Fuck, I need to stop over analyzing things when they mean nothing.

“Tom, I think I have an idea,” Georg said to me after awhile and I stopped playing and looked up at him to show him I was listening. I wasn’t about to get all weird on him because my mind was going fucked from Bill and Lacy. “I think we should write something together.” That explained why he was watching me so hard! “You’re really good; I think it would sound cool. Hell, maybe we could find a singer and a drummer and start a band or something.” He grinned, “I know Gustav plays the drums. I’ve heard him messing with them,” He pointed over to drum set that was in the corner of the room. “He’s good, I rocked out with him before he and Rochelle got moved to the same free period.” He explained.

“I think it’d be fun. I ask around and see if anyone sings. I know Gustav will be up for it, he always wanted to be in a band,” I knew Georg talked to other people, but fuck, I didn’t realize he knew so much abut some of them, “What do you think?” He asked, actually waiting for my reply this time.

I plucked aimlessly at a few strings of my guitar for a moment before I shrugged a shoulder and nodded lightly. Why not? It would be something to do around here, hell maybe it could be a little fun. As long as Andreas or Bill weren’t the singers, I could actually handle more people around us. Gustav was alright, I don’t hate him. Wherever he was though, I knew Rochelle would go. That whole best friend thing, remember? I think they like each other anyways. She was boring, but not bad either. And maybe it would get Lacy off my back about talking to someone if I let someone other then Georg be around me.

And even though it’s probably just the paranoia making me think this, it’s probably best if I start hanging out with Georg alone a little less then I already do.
- 2
- 3
- 4
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

I'll save you from yourself