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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell	By : FlameWolf666 Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Marilyn Manson Views: 2983 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: As you know, I still do not know Marilyn Manson, Johnny Depp or any of the other famous people in this fic. This story is, of course, fiction. This was written for fun and no profit will be made.

Chapter List
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Author’s Note: ‘Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.’ - Edgar Allan Poe

Chapter Three: Like a Fine Acid

    A phone can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how you look at it. It can open a line of communication with a loved one over great distance. It can get you help when you desperately need it. It can even offer you a way to get ahold of a sympathetic ear when you’re having a dark night. On the other hand, it can also offer people you’re trying to hide from a way to get to you. It can give the source of your guilt a direct line to the razor wire wrapping its way around your heart. It can also offer temptation to just call the person and get everything out in the open. This was the conundrum Raven currently found herself in.
    Staring down at the black device, she grinned in bitter amazement at the amount of power it held. She knew she should call Manson after what had occurred between her and Johnny but she found herself utterly afraid to cross that threshold. She had no idea how the rocker felt about her after the miscarriage. She had no idea if he even still loved her enough to forgive her for this trespass. She was engaged for fuck’s sake but she had gone through with it all any way. Had even told Johnny she wanted it it. The most terrible thing was, it hadn’t even felt like that large of a lie.
    She had never had the connection with the actor like she did the rockstar but that didn’t mean she hadn’t fantasized about him as she grew up. She, like many women her age, had grown up with Depp and had formed various crushes on his myriad of characters. Sighing, she pinched the bridge of her nose as she wondered at her ability to find herself in such messes. The actor had tried to stop all of this but she had kept pressing until he gave in, she truly had no one to blame but herself. Manson, of all people, deserved to know about what had happened. Still, she hesitated to press the green phone icon by his name. She was utterly unaware of Amanda doing the exact same thing in her fiance’s home.
    In fact, the curly haired journalist was about ready to rip her hair out from the mixture of emotions whirling within her. She knew her time frame to let Ginger know without him feeling betrayal was rapidly closing and yet she just couldn’t bring herself to take that last step. Things between Manson and Raven weren’t anywhere near resolved and she doubted her husband would want to stay away, even during the early stages of her pregnancy. She was caught between a rock and a hard place. Gritting her teeth, she knew she had little choice anymore. So, taking a deep breath, Amanda pressed the contact button and placed her sky blue, Superman emblazoned phone against her ear. “Hey Ging. Before I tell you this, I want you to promise me something,” she began, her heart thudding loudly in her ears.
    Two dim figures embraced in the inky blackness of the room, a soft sigh leaving the taller, thinner silhouette. Only a familiar, unexpected ringtone broke the comfortable silence, making one of them jolt upward. A ghostly pale hand reached into the empty darkness, fumbling with the phone before it was flipped open and pressed eagerly to an ear. “M-marilyn? I... I did something awful,” whispered an unsteady voice from the other end, the words making the world seem to shrink away from him. A million possibilities rushed through his head at once as he got to his feet, fear clogging his throat and making it impossible for him to speak.
    Suicide attempt was first on his mind and his throat worked hard as he fought with his locked vocal cords to get words out. Jeordie was behind him in an instant, mouthing something he could only guess was a question about what was going on in the corner of his vision. He only waved the guitarist off, licking his cracked lips as a sickening feeling of nausea began to fill his stomach. “I... l-let Johnny give me oral sex after your call yesterday,” came a confession that filled him with relief at first, then her words really impacted him. Drawing in a painful gasp, he swallowed hard before clearing his throat.
    “I... I see. Do... do you... what does this mean for...,” he breathed, not having the strength in him to talk any louder. While he was happy she was safe, he felt like he had been gutted with a hot harpy knife. He wasn’t angry or disappointed, more afraid. Afraid that he had finally driven her away for good with what he had said as well as his blatant neglect after.
    “What do you... do you... do you think I’d leave you for Johnny? Are you... telling me that you actually... that we can fix this?” came a broken, hesitantly hopeful voice, the amount of begging submission in her tone turning his stomach. His actions had made her think he was angry with her and he felt his heart lurch in his chest.
    “Oh sweetie. You’re the one who should be angry with me. I implied that this was your fault, made you feel like you needed to apologize to me. Just hearing you try to shoulder this blame... None of this has ever been your fault,” he whispered, closing his mismatched eyes as his former guitarist left the room to likely tell the others what was going on. Silence followed his words, stretching for so long he almost feared the phone had lost connection.
    “Do you mean that?” came the brokenly hopeful whisper once again, driving that spike of guilt just a little deeper into his heart.
    “Of course I do. I never meant what I said before I left. In fact, it was the reason I left in the first place. I just needed some time to make sure I didn’t do such a horrible thing again. I’m also not mad about what happened with Johnny. I would be the worst hypocrite if I was. I’m just glad it happened with someone we both trust,” he assured softly, squeezing his eyes shut as his heart cramped. After everything he had learned about his fiance, he could only imagine how distraught she had been to allow such a thing in the first place.
    “There was still no excuse for it. I just feel like I’ve betrayed you. I even moved in with him temporarily because of how hard it was to be in the house without you. He’s just been so nice and protective through this whole ordeal. I don’t know how I’d have ever gotten through the worst of it without him but... he’s just not you,” whispered the too quiet voice, making him wish he could simply crawl through the line to hold her.
    “If you... if you ever left me... I don’t think I could go through that again. I’ve grown dependent on your presence and I just... I want you to come home,” the shattered artist whispered before breaking into soft sobs that practically tore his heart from his chest.
    “Shhh, shhh, I’m not going anywhere babe. Not ever. I feel just the same as you do. We were on our way back as it was but I’ll have a talk with Tim and see if we can push things a little faster. I obviously need to be home with you,” he declared, running a hand through his ebony locks as his fiance continued to cry. Closing his eyes again, he ran a shaky, black nailed hand through his midnight hair as he took a deep breath and began to do the only thing he knew would help her calm down.
    “Remember when I took you up to the top of the hill?” he began to sing softly, feeling a bit of relief when her crying started to taper off to watery sniffles.
    “We had our knives drawn. They were as sharp as we were in love,” he continued, imagining his band playing behind him as Raven quietly listened.
    “If God crossed us we'd take all his drugs, burn his money and his house down, and wait for the fire to spread,” he rasped, remembering the emotions that had caused this song in the first place. This had been inspired during the dark times when she had left him due to his sleeping around and mistreatment of her. He had written it as a pseudo love letter to her, one he never thought she would hear.
    “Sometimes hate is not enough to turn this all to ashes,” he crooned, smiling slightly when his lover began to join in. Knowing her, she had bought a CD as soon as they had been released; despite the fact she could have just asked him for one.
“Together as one against all others. Break all of your wings and make sure it crashes,” they sang as one, a sense of harmony thrumming between them and filling the rockstar with a warm sense of well-being. Even after everything, this affirmed she felt as much for him as she always did.
    “We're running to the edge of the world. Running, running away,” she whispered before he could, sounding as lost as he used to.
    “We're running to the edge of the world. I don't know if the world will end today,” he responded, his heart aching.
    “I had no choice, I erased the debt of our family, let you say goodbye with lips like dynamite,” sighed his lover’s sweet voice, switching their roles.
    “And everyone turned their backs because they knew when we held on tight to each other, we were something fatal, that fell into the wrong hands,” she continued, sounding bitterly nostalgic but happy; a sound that eased the pain he felt just a bit.
    “Sometimes hate is not enough to turn this all to ashes,” he whispered back, practically feeling the song flow through him as he allowed his emotions to shine through.
    “Together as one against all others. Break all of your wings and make sure it crashes,” they finished together, their voices twining and merging beautifully and filling them both with a much wanted sense of oneness.
    “We're running to the edge of the world. Running, running away,” he moaned as the vehicle around him shuddered violently due to its speed increasing. Jeordie must have told Tim to step on it, something he appreciated at the moment.
    “We're running to the edge of the world. I don't know if the world will end today,” chimed in Raven, sounding much more relaxed as the song went on.
    “We don't seek death, we see destruction. Death, we seek destruction,” the duo sighed as one, repeating the lines again before Manson continued.
    “We're running to the edge of the world. Running, running away,” he rasped, Raven taking over for the next part of the chorus. Then they were repeating the entire chorus again, the joining of their voices making them sound gorgeous.
    “See a new beginning rise behind the sun. We can't never catch up to them as fast as we run,” Raven growled, sounding determined and making the singer grin.
    “See a new beginning rise behind the sun. We can't never catch up to them as fast as we run,” he repeated softly, his own tone loving and gentle. They alternated again for the next two repetitions, then the song was finished; leaving them in a comfortable silence.
    “I love you Raven, so damn much,” growled the shock rocker, gripping the phone to his ear in desperation to keep the line connecting them open.
    Out in the main room of the tour bus, Ginger had just gotten done with his own phone call. A doofy grin was plastered on his face but he couldn’t bring himself to care about how silly he looked as he put his phone back in his pants. While he was glad to hear that Raven and Manson were talking again, he was even more ecstatic about his news. The only thing that made him feel a little disappointed was that he hadn’t gotten to tell Tim to put the pedal to the metal himself. “Guys, I’m going to be a father,” he announced, not even minding when Pogo tackled him into a crushing bear hug. Not much of anything could ruin his mood at the moment. He was going to be a father and they were heading home without him having to throw a massive fit. All in all the drummer called that a massive success.
    Johnny stood by as Raven spoke to Brian, his expression of concern turning to one of relieved guilt. He had known better than to engage her while she was in that state and he knew he was far from innocent. He was just glad his actions hadn’t torn apart the two people he cared about most. His only question was what did he do now? Would either of them be comfortable with him staying around the female that sat on his bed? Had he possibly ruined something that was incredibly important to him? Just the possibility made him shudder as a sick feeling permeated the pit of his stomach. Running a hand over his face, he found himself fighting the urge to either run away or scoop the former freelancer into his arms.
    As if she sensed his discomfort, the ebony haired femme turned her head to look at him; a soft smile on her milky white face as she motioned him to come closer. Instant relief filled him and he practically melted into her as he wrapped himself around her, a tanned cheek resting on a midnight clad shoulder. Then he was being handed the phone, Raven mouthing to him that everything would be okay. Licking his mustached upper lip and feeling the facial hair prickle his tongue, Johnny pressed the object to his ear as he braced himself for the rage of his best friend. “Hey Brian. I have no excuse for my behavior but I didn’t do it with the intent to hurt you or try to steal Raven away from you. If you decide you never want me to see her or be near her again, I will respect your wishes but I want you to know something before you do. I... I need her just as much as you do, if just as a dear friend,” the star murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to said female’s forehead as he closed his eyes and awaited his fate. He was completely shocked when all he heard was a hearty laugh.
    “You had every opportunity to fuck her and you stuck to oral. If you had wanted to fuck with me, you would have gone all out. You really think I’m mad that you exercised restraint as much as you could over a shit situation? I know how much you care about her. As much as it stings to admit, I’m glad you were there for her when I had my head stuck up my ass,” the rocker rasped, sounded a tad upset but not nearly as much as the actor had expected.
    “Who I’m really pissed at is myself. I caused all of this with my stupid unconscious reactions. I should have never said what I did to her, I should have manned the fuck up and stayed with her no matter how badly I was hurting. She would have never done something like this if I hadn’t pushed her to it in some way and I can’t really hold either of you accountable for a circumstance that should have never existed,” the God of Fuck replied, his baritone laced with guilt.
    “Brian, can we all just stop blaming eachother or ourselves? None of us should feel guilty for any of this. Let’s just put the whole mess behind us and move on. I know its easier said than done but I think we should give it our best shot,” the goateed star suggested, relaxing as Raven nestled into his chest.
    “Yeah, hey can I talk to her again? We’ll be there in a few days and I need to tell her that,” the other man asked. Johnny simply murmured a quick sure before handing the phone off to her.
    Instead of letting her go, he wrapped his arms around her even tighter; knowing she wouldn’t handle the news very well. She was at her limit of being without him after all the stress she had been under and she was likely to break under further strain. Sure enough, she burst into tears as soon as the news was passed down; drawing a coo from the man holding her. Then there was a beeping noise as Manson’s voice filled the large room. “Johnny? Ya got her man?” sighed his distressed friend, making his heart soar with happiness due to the amount of trust that was being shown to him.
    “Of course,” he rumbled, rocking the emotionally distraught woman gently. Thankfully it wasn’t long before her soft sobs tapered off, much to the relief of the two men who cared about her.
    “It’ll only be a few more days. You can either stay with Johnny or go back to our house until I come back, I won’t be mad about any decision you make. I just want you to be safe,” whispered the goth rocker, an uncharacteristic gentleness in his tone that made Depp smile. Despite everything, the temperamental male was slowly taking a turn for the better. He was a lot more open and warm than he used to be. He could only hope things would continue down this current route.
    “One more thing though. If you end up doing some sort of sex act again, record it for me. Maybe John-o has a few techniques I could steal,” rumbled the ‘Antichrist Superstar’s’ amused baritone, bursting into laughter when the pair began to sputter denials.
    In the end, Raven had decided to go back to Manson’s house; missing her best friend as well as her dog. There was also the fact that Amanda had said there something she needed to tell her. Johnny hadn’t seemed to mind, packing his own bag so he could stay with her. With how much strain she had been under lately, he didn’t want to let her out of his sight for a while; something he had made sure to tell Brian before making any concrete plans. Thankfully the singer had agreed wholeheartedly, the lack of any true jealousy throwing both he and the former artist off. The normally angry celebrity only laughed at them before ending the call so they could pack and be on their way.
    Now she was sitting on the longer couch that sat close to the kitchen, petting Lily while her loyal pet whimpered at her from the floor. Her mind was a whirl of emotions due to the news her childhood companion had nervously told her. Outwardly, she had been overjoyed and hugged the obviously excited journalist. Inside, her emotions were much more complicated. She felt a strange mixture of happy, jealous, angry and a deep sadness. Her traitorous hands had travelled to where her own child had been before the accident as she stared up at the ceiling until her fiance’s cat made that motion impossible. Something she was extremely grateful for as her hands travelled over the grouchy feline’s fur.
    Johnny, who was in the kitchen, kept his eye on her. He had been getting calls for the past few days, each one asking when he was going to return to set and he found himself reluctant to answer. He just wasn’t sure it was wise to leave her alone, especially with the news she had been given. Just thinking about it made him wince. He could only imagine how Raven felt at the moment and his heart ached for the shy female. Still, he couldn’t put it off for forever and he would have to go back or risk his longstanding career. Sighing, he grabbed two plates of the spaghetti he had just made and brought it back to the living room.
    The oblivious female stared up at the flatscreen mounted on the wall, her hand fumbling with the remote before turning it on. To her amusement, it just so happened to open on an episode of ‘Clone High’. An episode that just so happened to guest star her fiance. “Well that’s just plain ironic,” she giggled, reaching down to pet her whimpering dog despite Lily’s heavy protests. A deep chuckle from her left drew her attention to a similarly amused Johnny who was offering her a plate of noodles topped with a tomato, meat sauce.
    “They were going to have me do a guest voice next season but the show got cancelled. Too bad. I found it really enjoyable,” the star chuffed, giving the cat on her lap a suspicious glance as he moved around the front of the couch to sit on her right. The white felid hissed slightly before quieting, her triangular ears pointed backwards as she glared at the handsome male.
    “I know and they ended it on a cliffhanger to add insult to injury,” Raven responded once he had settled, keeping her hazel eyes on the screen.
Depp wisely gave Lily a wide berth, scooping up some sauce covered pasta and placing it in his goateed mouth. Just as he began to chew it got to the scene where Manson was giving a fake medical diagnosis and he came very close to doing a spit take while Raven laughed, a sound that was far too rare in his opinion. “Geez, it sounds like they just had him say the most medical sounding things they could come up with. Also I agree. I wish I knew what happened next,” he sighed sorrowfully, tugging at the hem of his black t-shirt slightly. The female next to him shook her head with a slightly bitter smile, taking a bite of her own food while a certain cat dropped off to sleep in her lap.
    After the episode ended, the phone next to her right hand rang loudly; the default ringtone playing and throwing her off for a moment. Picking up the small device, she looked at the contact before sagging in relief and flipping it open to answer it. The star beside her could only listen, assuming it was her producers. It turned out he was right, the up and coming musician smiling at him and giving him a nod as she talked over details of her first album. Then she was getting up to move around, nervousness as well as excitement coloring her expression as her gestures and word grew more animated. “W-well I don’t know, I’d have to ask but I don’t think he’d have a problem with the idea,” she whispered, stopping in place as she tried to slow her breathing.
    Then she was hanging up, staring at Johnny as if she was wondering if whatever happened had really occurred. “They’re going to be releasing my Album. They were okay with the name I picked and they want me to go on a double tour with Marilyn if he’s willing. Well, it’ll be like more if his agent is willing,” she explained, looking a bit shell-shocked. She was even more surprised when she found herself scooped up in a pair of strong arms. Craning her head back, she saw the grinning face of Johnny Depp. That was when everything slammed into her and her eyes went wide as true realization bolted through her like lightning.
    It really hadn’t been that long ago that she was just some freelance artist pining over the fact she would never get to meet a singer who had saved her life many times unknowingly. Now she was engaged to him, living with him, friends with Johnny Depp as well as Jonathan Davis, and had even met Tom Welling as well as Leonardo Di Caprio. She even found herself starting on the road to becoming a singer, something she had never dreamed of. It was mind-blowing when she stopped to think about it. On top of all of this, she was looking at a joint tour with her soon to be husband. It was all so overwhelming.
    Sighing, she leaned into the star holding her; burrowing into his pecs as her thoughts sped to the future. It was hard not to think about the paparazzi that would be following her, let alone fans. Then there would be the added complication of Manson’s fans as well, something she had thought about more than once during the course of their relationship. She wasn’t really looking forward to the spotlight being on her and the consequences that would come down because of it. She had a few people that didn’t want to see her happy on her own end of things and she wasn’t in a hurry to have them find out where she had moved. Not when she was starting to reach a kind of emotional normalcy. “I’m not ready for any of this,” she sighed, looking up to give Johnny a smile before going on her way to put her dishes in the kitchen.
    The thespian followed close behind, words of comfort dying on his lips. There was nothing he could say that he hadn’t already. Still, maybe it would be a good thing that she would have something to focus on. Maybe now would be a good time to bring up the very real possibility of returning to set. “Raven, I have to go back to work again. Would you be alright with that?” he whispered, his heart thudding as she went stiff before turning to look at him. A painful smile stretched her mouth but there was determination in her stance.
    “It’s fine Johnny. For the time I won’t be in the studio, I’ll have Amanda here. I’ll be too busy preparing for a tour that I won’t have the time to notice neither you or Brian are around,” she assured before giving him a hug. He could only return the embrace, pride for her filling him as he rested his chin on the crown of her head.
    “I’m only a call away, never forget that,” he murmured, giving her a light squeeze before releasing her to help with the dishes.
    Once Amanda got home, she held a determination of her own in her green eyes. As soon as she saw Johnny and Raven on the couch, she began to grin in a manner that made the pair extremely nervous. “We’re going to have a sleepover and we’re going to fucking camp out in the back yard!” she announced, cackling wildly when her friends stared at her like she had two heads. An hour, slight disagreement, and quick shopping trip later; the two females were helping a rather bemused Johnny set up a tent in the backyard.
    “We haven’t done this since we were kids Mandy,” sighed a very confused Raven, feeling a bit excited despite herself. It had been a long time since she had even thought of camping, let alone any kind of traditional sleep-over. The last time she had a sleep-over had been just before she had left her parents.
    “Exactly! We’re long overdue for some fun and bonding! Also, Johnny never hangs out with me,” teased the slightly older female with a grin. The casually dressed actor could only grin shamefully, rubbing the back of his dark haired head.
    “Sorry about that, I have no excuse really. I guess this would be a good way to build a better relationship,” he conceded, looking a bit enthusiastic himself.
    Looking from one to the other, the former freelancer simply shrugged before pitching in to help; her dog happily bounding around the fenced in yard. Soon they had the campsite set up, sans campfire due to their location deep within the city. They would have had to apply for several permits and there was the fact that this was California, it probably wasn’t a good idea to have a fire here anyway. Besides, it wasn’t as if the kitchen wasn’t right there and the stove was a gas affair rather than electric. It wouldn’t be hard to make a few s’mores as well as hot dogs. So, after they had set up sleeping bags and a battery operated space heater in case they needed it, they went back inside briefly to make refreshments and gather some entertainment.
    The trio laughed, joked and gently teased each other while they cooked; an atmosphere of happiness filling the mostly empty mansion. Johnny even fixed drinks, flipping Manson’s metal mixer around like a seasoned barkeep. When asked about where he had learned how to do that, he had simply winked to the two women and said, “Sorry, there are just some things I prefer to keep a mystery.” This had earned him playful swats and soon things descended into chaos, the actor spraying them with the faucet hose to stave them off. Of course this caused Amanda and Raven to retaliate; the pair grabbing pillows from the living room to huck at the giggling male.
    After a few minutes of this, a truce was called by the trio; all of them laughing like teenagers as they gathered their supplies and went back out into the yard. Once out there, the goateed star poured drinks and handed one to Raven before offering Amanda a Sprite. The journalist accepted the non-alcoholic beverage with a mock mournful sigh but maintained good humor as she watched the other two imbibe. “Good thing I wasn’t much of a drinker,” she chuckled, sipping her soda as her friend laughed lightly at her joke.
    “So, you do realize this kid is gonna grow up warped as fuck. What with Uncle Pogo around,” the ebony clad female teased, tipping her childhood companion a wink.
    “Let alone all the other ‘Uncles’ this kid’ll have. Oh well, I don’t suppose it matters as long as every loves the baby,” she sighed, placing an unconscious hand on her still flat stomach.
    “Oh, don’t worry about that. Kid will probably be the most spoiled person on the planet!” Raven assured before taking a bite out of her s’more.
    The rest of the night passed uneventfully, each of them passing a story of their childhood around. One of Raven’s favorites had been about Johnny getting himself stuck in a tree as a kid while trying to get a cat down for a girl he had a crush on. The entire fire department had been called to the tree, his mom in near hysteric despite his assurances he was unharmed. It had been one of the most embarrassing moments of his life, all the neighbors coming out to watch as a fireman carried him down slung over a shoulder like a sack of meal. After that, they had retired to the tent for the night; descending into an easy sleep as Depp snuggled up to Raven. It was the best sleep any of them had in quite a long time.
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Long, Hard Road Out of Hell