Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)	By : urbanephoenix Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Placebo Views: 5829 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction! I do not know any members of Placebo or their families, and I do not profit from these writings.

Chapter List
- 29
- 30
- 31
Someone asked me (elsewhere) to include chapter warnings, but I'm not going to anymore because they're potentially spoilers.
---------------------

BRIAN.

“Nick, dude, you gotta help me out.” Brian said, letting himself in.

Nick shrugged. “Sure, come in,” he rolled his eyes. “what do you want?”
“What do you think I want?”

“Not selling I’m afraid.”

Brian stared, wide-eyed. “What? Oh, come on. I need to score.”

“Sorry Brian, I can’t help you! I don’t have anything, I’m in town for a friend’s wedding.” Nick replied.

“Damnit,” The black haired boy mumbled. “ok, well... thanks.” He headed for the door.

“Hold on. I think I know someone who might be able to help. Upstairs, room 48A.”
Brian frowned. “Who?”

“Friend of mine. Knowing him, he brought plenty of supplies with him.” The dark haired man smiled. “Hope that helps.”

***

Brian wouldn’t usually go to someone he didn’t know to score, but he was desperate. He needed physical stimulation, he needed an escape. Knocking on the door of 48A he didn’t know what to expect. The door opened and all Brian could see was a dark room and a tall figure standing before him.

“What the fuck?” the figure said, coming into view.

Brian froze. “I...”

Michael frowned and leaned against the door. “To what do I owe this dubious pleasure?” he asked.

“Get fucked.” The smaller boy mumbled, turning to leave.

“You didn’t just knock on my door to tell me to ‘get fucked’ did you?”

“Never mind.” He didn’t turn back.

“Brian...” the blonde called out. “I think I have what you’re after.”

Against his better judgement, Brian walked back to number 48, he had a moment of inspiration. He could make the best of this situation. He’d get what he wanted, and leave. “Did you follow us here?”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Michael rolled his eyes, closing the door behind them. “It’s my sister’s wedding tomorrow.”

“YOU at a wedding?” The black haired boy laughed.

“Hey, I’m not an entirely selfish bastard, it’s my flesh and blood after all.”

Brian paused. “Actually, it’s because you’re a selfish bastard that I’m here.”

“Is that so?” The blonde threw himself into a chair by the window. Brian couldn’t help but notice every door in the hotel room was open save the one he’d come through. A disturbing parallel to Michael’s old apartment. “I’d have thought you were just after a hit?”

“Well yes, that’s what I came here for. But.... I want something else.”

“Yes?”

“I... I want you to... hurt me.” The smaller boy said softly, unsure of his words even as he spoke them.

“You want what?” Michael laughed. “Surely I’ve given you more than your fair share of hurt already?” He got up and started rummaging through a suitcase.

“No, I mean physically, I want you to really... hurt me.”

Michael’s eyes pierced his own, making Brian suddenly feel very vulnerable.

“Why?”

“You need a reason? You didn’t before.”

“No, I had my reasons. Now I want to hear YOUR reasons. You didn’t know I was even here until a minute ago, why the epiphany?”

“I... I’m sick of feeling nothing.” Brian replied, walking slowly towards the blonde. “On the outside. All I get is people hurting me, messing with me, and I’m sick of hurting them! I’m sick of it! I’m want to feel something on the outside, no matter what that is.”

Michael stood silently running his fingers through his long hair. “Why pain? Why not go shag Stefan or even Courtney if you’re desperate?” he asked.

Brian scoffed. “I’m not going there,” he spat. “I’m through looking for anything meaningful. I just want to feel something real.”

“So you thought of me,” the blonde straightened up in his hair. “I’m touched. You don't think this is betraying your little friends or anything? I don't know much about friends, but I would have thought that-”

“Look, if you don’t want to hurt me out-“

“I didn’t say that.” Michael interrupted. “I’m just curious about your motives. Besides, I’m not sure what you really want.”

“I want you to hurt me.”

“That’s not very specific.” The older boy stood up. “There are many ways to hurt someone.”

Brian hadn’t considered this. Truthfully he hadn’t expected Michael to question him at all. “I trust your judgement.” He replied eventually. “You are a sort of... expert... after all.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Michael smirked, producing a small zip lock bag with two white pills inside. “Ok, I think I can help you. But on one condition- everything on my terms.”

STEFAN.

They finally got back to the hotel. They’d walked in silence, Stef was too afraid to speak. After all, it was Courtney who felt they needed “to talk”.

“Ok,” Courtney sighed, closing the hotel door behind them. “this isn’t going well.”

“What isn’t going well?” The blonde asked, confused.

“This. Us.” The older boy replied. He wasn’t making eye contact, instead focusing on a spot on the other side of the room.

“What? Why?” This isn’t what he’d honestly expected. “I thought we’d moved on from the other night?”

Courtney sighed. “It’s not just that. As much as I adore you, Stef, we’re not right together. I want something more. I’m bored!”

Stef didn’t know what to say. Bored? “You’re BORED with me?”

“No not you, us. There’s nothing holding us together. We both want other people.”

“You what!?”

“See! You don’t deny you do, you’re merely concerned I might!”

Stefan frowned. “But you... who!?”

“That’s not important-“

“It’s important to me!” Stef was almost yelling now, his confusion transforming into anger.

“Nobody in particular. I just want something more... real.”

“I’m real! Look I know you’re going back to America soon, but-“

“It’s not that.” Courtney interrupted. “The very fact that we need a casual arrangement at all should prove that we’re not right together!”

“That was your idea.”

“But be honest, you wouldn’t agreed if I hadn’t suggested it, right?” The redhead sighed.

Stef was lost for words. He was right, he needed that freedom, the way out. “I-“

“If we keep going like this, one of us is going to get hurt... again! I don’t want that.”

“But you’re hurting me NOW!” Stefan got to his feet. “I don’t understand, what happened?”

“Nothing happened.” Courtney replied.

“I don’t believe that. Did someone say something? Was it... oh god, did Brian say something?”

Courtney rolled his eyes. “It’s got nothing to do with Brian.”

Stef frowned, thinking back to earlier in the evening. “No, no it does! Back at the show he said you understood what he was going through and then he completely blew up in my face. What’s going on? Are you and he-“

“No! We’re not, and never have. I mean... we’ve almost... a couple of times, but-“

“WHAT!?” That was the last thing Stefan needed to hear. His best friend and his boyfriend, fucking fantastic.

“Look nothing happened and both times it was my fault. I mean, this afternoon I-“

“This afternoon!” Stef interrupted in disbelief.

“Will you let me finish?” Courtney spat, clearly irritated. “Look, nothing happened. We were talking this afternoon, we were both frustrated by our... situations. It was dumb and NOTHING happened! Ok? It was a few moments of stupidity where we just wanted to rebel, feel something, do something careless with no regard as to how it may affect others, ok? It was stupid, but it just proved to me what I already knew. We aren’t working.”

He wasn’t yelling, but Courtney’s words hurt Stef as if he were. How long had he felt like this?

“I, I know it’s been a weird... relationship thing or whatever you want to call it, for us, but I really do care about you.”

The redhead sighed. “I know and believe me, I love you I really do, but I don’t want to draw out the inevitable. We don’t belong together.”

Stef felt his blood boiling inside of him. This had to be Brian’s fault. Fucking Brian, why couldn’t he stay out of it? “Fine.” He muttered, laying down on his bed, turning his back to Courtney.

The older boy sighed. “I’m sorry, Stef. I don’t want to hurt you, which is all I’d be doing if I didn’t tell you this.”

“Fuck off.”

BRIAN.

“I assume you’ll be wanting E?” Michael asked, tossing the bag to Brian. “I can’t imagine you wanting to partake in such... alternative activities on anything else.”

Brian shook his head. “This’ll do fine.” He replied, handing over some crumbled money from his pocket.

Michael smirked. “This is all very strange,” he said, removing his jacket and rolling up his shirt sleeves. “you coming here. Last time we met you said you wished me dead.”

“Yeah, well other things have happened since then.” The black haired boy grumbled, popping one of the small white pills into his mouth. “Things that make me wish I’d gotten blown up instead.”

“Oh I didn’t get blown up, lucky for me I wasn’t at home when Courtney decided to become a terrorist mastermind. Fucking genius bastard.”

“Shame.” Brian shrugged. “Ok, so are we doing this?”

“Of course. But these are my conditions. You do as I say, when I say it, agreed?”

“Fine, but I don’t want to wind up in a hospital. Do your worst but, you know... I want to leave here conscious.”

Michael thought about this for a moment. “Ok. Come on.” He headed out of the room, Brian cautiously followed.

“Where are we going?”

“Bedroom!” The blonde called.

“Why? I just want you to-“

“Hey, my rules, remember?” Michael grinned, unbuttoning his own shirt. “Ok, strip off.”

“But-“

“My. Rules.”

Brian started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. “Look, I don’t need to get off...” he sighed.

“Good, ‘cos you’re not going to.”

“Then-“

Michael grinned. “This isn’t about you anymore,” he grinned. “ I’ll give you what I want by getting what I want.”

“Whatever,” the smaller boy tossed his shirt on a table. “just do it right.”

The blonde looked down on him like he was a piece of meat. “Give the drugs a minute to work, then we can get started.”

Minutes later Brian found himself sitting in the middle of the motel room bed in nothing but his boxers. Michael, who had been standing in the same spot the whole time watching him, joined him, looking him right in the eye. “One more rule. If you cum, I’ll fucking kill you.”

Brian gulped. He was almost certain Michael was kidding, in his own sadistic way, but didn’t want to risk it. He nodded silently and allowed himself to be pinned down by the bigger boy placing his large hands over his delicate shoulders.

“Fight me.” The blonde instructed calmly.

“Wha-“ Brian was interrupted by a loud SLAP across his face, a large portion of his cheek started burning where Michael hit him.

“Speak when spoken to!” he spat.

“But-“

SMACK! The other side of his face now matched the first, burning and tingling.
Brian smirked, rubbing the sore flesh. “What kind of pussy are you, slapping me? Be a fucking man you-“

A third time he was interrupted, this time by a fist colliding with his jaw. Stifling a cry of pain, the black haired boy clutched his mouth. It hurt, and he’d never felt so good.

“You need to learn your place. I will not be spoken to like that!”

Another hit to the face, and another, and another.

“I hate to mess up your beautiful little face, but that’s what happens to whores who talk back.” Michael said softly running his long fingernails down Brian’s bare chest.

Brian shivered at the touch, such a sensitive contrast to his now throbbing jaw. Michael started digging his nails in deeper and soon enough, little beads of blood pooled around his fingertips. It stung like nothing Brian had felt before.

“Hmmm,” Michael smiled. “I can see it hurts, doesn’t it?” he dug his nails in deeper, forcing Brian to let out a soft gasp. Yes it hurt, but he didn’t want it to stop.

“More.”

“My pleasure.” The blonde grinned, pulling his own underwear off before focusing on Brian’s. It was at this point the smaller boy noticed how turned on Michael was getting from the experience. Fine, he didn’t care. Whatever it took.
Brian heard the soft sound of a condom packet being ripped open as the weight distribution shifted on the bed. He lay still, completely submissive.

“Turn over.” Michael instructed, not looking at him.

The black haired boy obeyed, clambering onto all fours.

“Don’t worry, you’ll still get what you want. Trust me.”

Relaxing his head, letting it drop between his shoulders, Brian almost instantly felt it dragged back. Michael had grabbed his long hair, jerking his head up.
“No, no, none of that.”

It was uncomfortable and a difficult position to maintain, but he had no choice. “Ok.” He muttered, feeling the familiar sharp claws now running down his back.

“Now, this is going to hurt.”

‘Good.’ Brian thought to himself, without bracing himself for what was to come. Michael forced himself inside of the smaller boy in one violent thrust with, as far as Brian could tell, no further lubrication than what was already on the condom. He felt his insides burning as he was stretched open wide, wincing from the pain. He was hurting almost head to toe now. His skin tingling, his muscles aching and burning. The ecstasy heightened everything, making him more aware and alert, almost to the point of hyperactivity. Sweat covered his body, the stimulation exciting him to no end.

“Long and torturous or short and sweet?” Brian heard the voice behind him ask.

“Short and sweet.” He breathed heavily. He was sure Michael could do more damage in a shorter time span. And that’s what he wanted.

Brian felt the other boy pull out of him before slamming back in harder, over and over, purposely depriving him of any pleasure. It didn’t matter. With every thrust, Michael’s nails cut deeper into Brian’s shoulders, pulling the smaller boy back awkwardly. “Harder.” He moaned.

Michael pulled his hair harder, arching Brian’s back awkwardly. In any other situation, the singer would have been frustrated at the lack of sexual stimulation, but this is what he wanted. To be dominated and abused. Used and thrown away. Tears trickled slowly down his now swollen face. ‘No, I can take it.’ He told himself as Michael let go of his hair and pushed his head into the pillow below. Brian coughed and struggled for air.

“Shut up.” Michael spat, smacking him hard, forcing his head back into the pillow. “That’s it,” he sighed, resuming his hard thrusts. “just like that. Just like tha-“

Brian knew that Michael’s sudden silence meant only one thing. He collapsed onto the bed as the taller boy clambered off of him, making his way to the bathroom. He lay there, catching his breath, observing his now beaten body. Small trickles of blood painted his chest and shoulders. He could feel his face was badly bruised.

“So, satisfied?” Michael asked, reappearing in the room, now wearing jeans.

Brian grinned. It hurt, but he couldn’t help it. “Yes, yes!” he laughed.

“Fuck,” Michael muttered, looking around for his shirt. “you’re off your fucking face. Stay here until the drugs wear off.”

“I’ll be ok.”

“No, it’s the middle of the night and if any copper sees you I have no doubt you’ll lead them to me.”

Brian shrugged. “You’re probably right.”

“Stay there. I’ll come and get you in a few hours.”

***

“Oi, wake up!”

Brian woke to Michael shaking him violently. It must be morning, the sun was shining brightly through the window. Trying to prop himself up, Brian cried out at the pain. Every part of him was aching. “What time is it?” he mumbled.

“Nine in the morning. You should probably get back or your little buddies will be wondering where you are. Plus, I have to get ready.”

Looking up, Brian saw the blonde was already half dressed, wearing the bottom half and open shirt of a tuxedo. “Nice.” He smiled, reaching for his own shirt.

“So where are you headed now?”

The singer laughed. “Like I’d tell you!” He got dressed as quickly as possible in his condition and headed for the front door, making sure his remaining tablet was safely tucked away in his back pocket. “Thank you for a lovely night.” He said, turning the door knob.

“Don’t mention it.” Michael grinned. “I’m always happy to help.”

“Fuck you.”

STEFAN.

Stef had slept terribly, his mind preoccupied with his conversation with Courtney. The one in which the redhead had broken up with him. But it was morning now, he needed to get up. Sighing heavily, Stef looked over to the bed beside his. Courtney was still asleep, breathing softly. At least one of them got some shut eye. As he pulled on his clothes, the blonde glanced down at the clock, half past nine, great, they only had three hours before departure and there was so much to do.

“Fuck.”

Stefan heard the voice from the hallway, and the sound of someone struggling with their door. It sounded like next door. Perfect, he’d give Brian a piece of his mind. Throwing down the books he was packing away, Stef burst into the hallway to find the singer trying to put the key into his hotel room door, swearing each time he missed.

“Oi!” he yelled, making the smaller boy jump. “Where the fuck do you get off messing with MY boyfriend?!” he spat.

Brian turned to look at him. Stef couldn’t help but gasp. His friend’s face was covered in bruises, his lip cut, drops of blood seeped through his white shirt.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “Brian, what happened? Are you ok?”

The smaller boy smiled. “Yeah, I’m great.” He finally managed to open the door. “I feel amazing!”

Stef was concerned. “Are... are you high?”

Brian laughed. “No! Well, not anymore. I just feel so... alive!”

“Brian, you’ve had the shit kicked out of you.” The blonde said seriously. “What happened? You’ve been bleeding for Christ sake!”

The black haired boy looked down at his spoiled shirt. “Damn.” He muttered, pulling it over his head, revealing deep cuts over his chest, shoulders and back.

“B... Brian, I know it’s none of my business... but what happened to you? It looks like you were attacked by a wolf or something.” It did. Every part of Brian’s usually flawless body was covered in a bruise, or far redder than it should have been.

“I’m fine, really. I wanted this.”

Stef must have heard wrong. “I’m sorry, did you say you wanted to be fucked up like this?”

Brian nodded. “Well, I just wanted to get high originally, but then I ran into someone unexpected agreed to help me out.”

Stefan was having a hard time comprehending this. “You... what? Why? Why would you want THIS!?”

Brian spun around, his dark eyes glaring up at the blonde. “I just wanted to feel something real. None of this psychological bullshit. No more emotional crap. I wanted something physical.”

“From what I hear, you’ve been getting plenty physical with Courtney.” Stef frowned.

“Fuck you.” Brian spat. “I know he didn’t tell you that, ‘cos it’s not fucking true! You think I’d really do that?”

Stefan had an overwhelming feeling of guilt. No, he hadn’t honestly thought that.

“Well-“

“For your information, we had a conversation that got... a little personal, but nothing worse than the conversation you and I had had earlier.”

“I’m not even going to pretend to understand what happened to you last night, but I do want to know what you know about Courtney breaking up with me last night.”

Much to Stef’s surprise, Brian looked genuinely shocked. “He did? Huh, I didn’t think he’d actually do it. Well, it has nothing to do with me.” He shrugged, finally finding a clean shirt.

“Bullshit! It has everything to do with you!”

“Hey, it’s not my responsibility! You always think it’s me, me, me but honestly Stef, it’s you! I am not part of YOUR fucking relationship, so stop blaming me and take some responsibility!” Brian yelled, throwing his shirt aside. He stood there, shaking, looking up at the taller boy. “Get out.” He muttered, turning away and picking up his shirt.

“Fine.” Stef headed for the door, trembling with anger. “We leave in a few hours. Be ready.” He slammed the door behind him.

-------------------------------
I know, I know. I'm a cruel, heartless bitch who'll burn in hell for torturing my characters... but I have something completely different in mind for the next chapter, if you want it. Let me know if you do.
- 29
- 30
- 31
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Without You I'm Nothing (Chapter 39 up now!)