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The David and James Story	By : Cinnamon Category: Casts RPF > Angel Views: 3767 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the celebrity I am writing about. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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The David and James Story

Pairing: David/James

Rating: NC 17

Author: You think anyone’s actually gonna admit to writing this shit?

Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. You know who the characters belong to.

This is AU. The people involved would never behave like this in real life…

Chapter 36

The Friday after Thanksgiving

*****************

James’ revelation had been a real mood killer. Although they’d talked earlier, in the car on the drive from the airport when James had told him about Simon’s hurtful insults, David had sensed there was something James had been holding back, something which had affected him deeply. David had guessed that whatever it was it had involved his mother. James had clearly been extremely shaken by her statement. The way he’d described it, David imagined her delivering the line like a curse. Poor James!

Although James no longer considered himself to be religious it was clear to David that James’ spiritual upbringing had instilled in him certain values and fears that no amount of rational thought could ever entirely eradicate. When they’d first met and David had learned that James didn’t drink he’d assumed he was either a control freak, which seemed unlikely, or a recovering alcoholic Dav David hadn’t asked, preferring to wait until James felt comfortable enough with him to talk about it. The reason had turned out to be neither but rather it stemmed from all the lectures James had heard his father give on the evils of the demon drink. Even as a small child his father’s ravings about Hell and eternal damnation had made enough of an impression to stay with him well into adulthood - his mid-thirties, act.act. David had been surprised to learn James’ true age. He certainly didn’t look it. In fact, at seven years his junior, David knew he looked to be the older.

After he’d calmed down, James had begun to talk - not just about his own family but about his ex-wife as well and how she’d told him when they separated that she’d never really loved him. He’d been a means to an end. She liked him well enough and the sex was good - in the early days, anyway - but she wasn’t in love with him, never had been. In many ways she thought of him more like a business partner than a husband. She had ambitions which she knew she could never realise on her own but James had the drive and determination to succeed. He had the passion needed to get their theatre company off the ground. She’d always planned to leave him once she was able to go it alone. The last thing she wanted was for him to become famous. She was determined the accolades should be hers and hers alone. There was one more thing she wanted from him though - a child. She had no real desire to get married again but she did want a child of her own.

James had always wanted children but hadn’t planned to start a family until he could guarantee a secure income to support both a wife and child. Theatre paid peanuts and much as he loved the craft he’d begun to wonder if he was doing the right thing. A fellow actor had suggested he try television instead. His wife had hit the roof when he’d floated the idea of a move to LA. After she’d calmed down she’d persuaded him that their marriage was incomplete, that they could never be truly happy until they had a family of their own. He’d fallen for it, of course, but he’d known the marriage was over long before his son was ever born.

After all of her earlier objections, she’d been the one to initiate the move to California to take up a job teaching at the college in his own home town. She was a big hit in the local community. His mother liked her. She’d soon taken on the role of director of the local theatre but he couldn’t get work. He’d come home one day after yet another unsuccessful audition in San Francisco to find their small apartment empty. There was a note in the kitchen. She’d left him, moving in with a so-called friend. It turned out she’d been having an affair with the guy since before they moved to California. He was the one who’d gotten her the job.

James hadn’t been able to afford to keep the apartment without her income and he’d moved to LA where he’d spent the first few months sleeping on friends’ couches until he could manage to find a place of his own. His mother couldn’t stop talking about the shame he’d brought on the family so living with her was never an option. His ex had taken everything he had in the divorce settlement, including their son, and he’d let her, electing not to contest the divorce.

David hadn’t realised before just how insecure James was as a result of being abandoned firstly by his father and then by his wife. The people James had loved were the ones who’d hurt him most. They’d betrayed him and thrown his love back at him, laughing to his face. His wife’s parting words were that she’d been wrong about him: he’d never amount to anything. It was what his mother had been telling him for years and he’d started to believe it. David had done his best to reassure James, telling him how talented he was, how much he was valued, that their love was forever, what they had was real, he’d never leave him, never abandon him…whatever fate held in store… whichever of them achieved fame and fortune first… And, he was certain James would achieve recognition for his talent at some point.

James had soon fallen asleep in his arms - exhausted and jet-lagged - and David had held him until eventually he rolled over and onto his other side. He spooned him for a while but David was restless and feared he might wake James. David had too much on his mind to sleep. He was worried about James, concerned for their future together. James had so many issues. He needed more than a friend to listen to his troubles, more than a lover’s shoulder to cry on. He needed a therapist. David felt guilty for thinking it but he couldn’t help wonder if James would still want him once he’d gotten his head straightened out. Nonetheless, David had urged him to consult a therapist as soon as they got back to LA. James couldn’t go on like this. He deserved a better life. He was an extremely talented actor but he’d never make it big while his self-esteem was at rock bottom. He was a wonderful, loving person but he’d managed to convince himself he wasn’t worthy of anyone else’s love. David had desperately wanted to show him physically how much he cared but James had simply wanted to cuddle. After a while David had realised it was enough. All he wanted was to hold the man of his dreams in his arms and never let him go…

******************

David was in the kitchen making coffee and toasting a bagel when his parents got back.

“Hello, Darling,” Patti said as she came through the kitchen door. She was laden with packages. David rushed to help her.

“Hey, Mom, let me take those before you drop them,” he said, grabbing the packages and setting them down on the kitchen table.

“Did you buy up the whole store?”

He started to open one of the bags and she batted his hand away.

“No peeking,” she said. “I have presents for everyone but you can’t have yours now. I want you all to have them tonight, after dinner.”

She pulled out one of the bags from the bottom of the pile and reached inside.

“This is for James,” she said, removing the contents. “I hope he’ll like it. I thought he might be cold here after California and I don’t suppose he has anything warm with him in that tiny overnight bag.”

David watched as she unwrapped a cashmere sweater.

“I had to guess his size,” she said.

David looked at the label.

“That should be okay,” David said. “He wears that size in shirts… although I’ve never seen him in a sweater…”

“Oh,” Patti said. “He doesn’t like sweaters?”

“No, Mom, I’m sure he does,” David chuckled, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. “It’s just that it’s seldom cold enough for something this wan LAn LA. It’s gorgeous though. I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“Is the colour okay?” she asked.

“Yes, Mom. He wears black all the time…”

“… because, if it isn’t, I have another,” she added, reaching back into the bag and removing a second sweater. This one was green.

“… but green’s his favourite colour.”

“Really?” she asked. “You’re not just saying that, Darling?”

“No, really. He told me.”

She looked thoughtful.

“Then why does he wear black all the time?”

“Because he’s depressed,” David said. He hadn’t intended revealing James’ secrets but he was concerned about him and didn’t know what to do for the best. He knew talking to his mother would help.

“Oh?” she said.

“Mom, I need to talk to you…”

“Of course, Darling. Let’s sit down. Bring the coffee and we’ll go into my studio.”

******************

By the time they’d finished their coffee David had confided everything to his mother. Well, perhaps not quite everything. He’d chosen not to mention how James had fallen asleep before they could make love with the result that bal balls were aching with the need for release. She wouldn’t understand.

“You really do love him, don’t you?” she asked.

“Yes, Mom, I do. He means more to me than anything…”

“How do you see your future with him?” she asked.

David wasn’t sure what she meant.

“I want to share my life with him,” he began.

She smiled the knowing smile of all mothero uno understand their sons better than they understand themselves.

“But he’s frightened to make the commitment because of everything that’s happened to him?”

He hadn’t really thought about it in those terms but, yes, that was exactly what he feared. James was always holding something back and David wanted all of him.

“Mom, what can I do to convince him I mean it?”

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The David and James Story