Life Goes On | By : knight Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Def Leppard Views: 1882 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Def Leppard. I do not make any money from the writing of this story... |
...Nick Knight, Geraint Wyn Davies. Well contain descriptions, depictions of real people. I claim no personal knowledge of these artist/actors and their sexual orientation or personal lives. I do not own rights to any of the people mentioned herein. No profit is being made.
Authors Note: All thoughts are in Italics. Blood may not be sweet to human's, but for vampire's, it very well may be.
Thanks for reading.
Enjoy
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Life Goes On(Pt35)
JTE Journal Late November 2031
Well here I am again. It's been hard to find the time to write these past few months with all that is going on. Never a dull moment around here. So much to write about, so little time. Never know when someone is going to barge in a scare the wits out of me as I'm deep in thought when I write. Where to start..where to start..Deep depression that's a good place...oh wait no it wasn't from what I've been told. I don't remember much of it.
I would fall into this because of Sav's absents from my life. I guess the last one was pretty bad. I vaguely remembering hearing Nick say that I was dying. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I have Evelyn, my children and grandchildren and all my friends. Am I so blind by love for him, that I would be willing to give all that up and leave them behind, to go on to the next life? Is it so wrong to want that because he's not here..no. I may have all of that, but it's not the same without him.
Even now..it is so good, no, 'Wonderful' to have him back after three years. I really didn't want to live...guess that was obvious. But our reunion has been bittersweet. Nick ever the dominating shithead that he is, couldn't wait to get his hands on Sav for staying away so long and denying him the pleasure of beating Sav at his whim. One day Nick, you will get yours..one day. Then there is Olivia. Sav told me a little bit about her before she arrived a few short months ago. Phil's birthday request to be brought across and Evelyn wanting a baby.
All of these things are weighing heavily on Sav's mind and I feel he is pulling away from me. These are just random thoughts and I'll write more about them. I can only hope that all of this will not push Sav out of my life for any extended period again...
The past couple of weeks have been hectic. We're in California staying at Phil's until a few days before his birthday. Then he and Sav will fly out to a secluded place for a few months or until Phil is ready to come back...as a vampire. It seems strange, unreal that he really wants this after spending over half his life as a vegetarian. He did however add meat back into his diet about nine years ago, to help prepare himself for this. Watching us through out the years and what we have done, and the many other immortals that he has meet and became friends with. Phil has an excellent understanding in what to expect and required of him to survive. And those qualities will help him make the ultimate decision at the crossroads. I just hope he doesn't regret it once it's done. I don't think he will thou. I'm going to talk to him just before they leave that night to make sure this is what he wants and that it is ok to change his mind. Once it's done it's done and the only way to change it is death itself.
Here I am trying to talk Phil out of it, when I desperately wanted to bring Vivian across before he passed away. The difference is...is that Phil has wanted it for years and Vivian never did.
I'm sure many immortals do have one regret. That is to see their loved ones and friends grow old and leave them behind, to go on to the next life...whatever that may be. Those are the hardest times. I'm no different in that aspect. I mentioned in a previous entry that I have no regrets when in fact I do. To watch every one around me age and die, when I stay the same as I was at 36. Now Phil is 69 and I don't even want to try and understand how he will change once he is brought across. He won't look like he does now. Nick said that he would revert back to a young man. How young? The very first time that Sav took his blood. That means he'll look like he did when he was 38. How that works, I have no idea.
Things are finally starting to come together. Phil agreed to impregnate Evelyn and all parties, Phil, Gail, Evelyn and I are ecstatic about the whole thing. I think after Phil got over his initial shock of being asked to do this the 'old fashioned' way, he was honored that we asked him. He may be old but he still has some hump left in him. He looked like a scared little boy the first time that he took Evelyn upstairs…oh they did it several times for good measure. I took Gail out for dinner on those nights and tried to seduce her into sleeping with me, like I have done for the past fifteen years. Hahaha, didn't work, guess that Elliott/vampire charm doesn't work on her.
Gail and I both agree that we hope Evelyn gets her wish to become pregnant. We know how much it would mean to her. Being parents and grandparents ourselves we know the joy and unconditional love that having a child will bring to her. I guess because I already have two grown children of my own, that becoming a father again wasn't a major issue. But I know for Evelyn it could possibly grow into a seed of dissension for us. We've never had a disagreement or argument and I really don't want to see that happen. Me, a dad again, hmm, going to be interesting since we found out this evening that Evelyn is pregnant. Phil looked very relieved after having to wait the next month since they missed the first time. Oh and happy at the same time because he got her pregnant. Then promptly took Gail upstairs for some much needed attention.
I haven't seen much of Sav since Olivia came with us. He's spending more and more time with her and less time with me. I can hear them almost every night. I don't listen on purpose, but it's hard not too. I can hear a blade of grass pop out of the ground if I have a mind to listen for it. Vampire hearing will do that for you. Sometimes if I don't block Sav out, I can feel his desire for Olivia and it hurts me. I know I shouldn't let it bother me...but it does. I miss him, I miss his touch, his kiss. The things that only he can do to me and for me. The time we spend together in that capacity hasn't been there since...well since Olivia arrived. I want to be happy for him, I really do and yet I feel....abandoned in a sense.
There is something else bothering me about Sav and Olivia. Not sure what it is. I asked myself 'Am I jealous?' Ok maybe a little. But sometimes I think Sav picked the 'significant' other…and that's what bothers me. I know I shouldn't begrudge him, after all I do have and love Evelyn, but I still make the time to spend with him, yet I still can't help but feel jealous of what he has with Olivia and what it's taken away from us. I know he is mine and I am his, but we have others to share our lives with. I know he would die for me and I for him.
I can't help but wonder what Nick thinks about Olivia's presence, he hasn't said much since he found out about her, nor has he bothered to try and met her. And when will Nick take out his frustration on Sav for whatever reasons about her. How long will he let it go on before he steps in and ruins it? I've heard them countless times arguing that Nick will never let Sav be happy with anyone. Other than the time we were for the thirty years prior to Vivian's death and Sav confessing his feelings for Amber. And in the end he left for that reason. I think it also had to do with Nick and what he would do to him if he stayed. Now with Olivia here ,what is he going to do? Step in and brutally remind Sav that he can't have that kind of happiness in his life and put a stop to it. I don't think Nick is worried about her though, can;t tell with him sometimes.
Joe put his journal away and joined the others downstairs in the living room. Phil and Gail were cuddled on the couch, spending what little time remained before he left, watching a movie. He heard Evelyn in the kitchen doing something and singing softly. He smiled at that because he knew how happy she is. He glanced down at Sav and Olivia as he passed them. They were practically making love right there in front of everyone.
"Why don't you take that to your room." Joe told them and sat down.
"Sorry. I got carried away." Olivia said.
"Hu un." Joe smirked.
"What's bothering you Joe?" Sav leaned forward looking at him.
"Me...nothing."
"Right." Sav pointed to his head indicating to Joe that he knew something was up. "Why did you do that?" he asked when he felt Joe shut him out.
"Do what?"
"You're shutting me out."
"Hum yes I am. So. You did or do it to me all the time."
Sav dropped his head. "What's on your mind. Want to go somewhere and talk?"
"No secrets remember."
"There aren't any secrets here."
"Whatever." Joe said and stood up, heading for the kitchen for a drink.
"Come on Joe...don't do this now." Sav followed him.
Phil and Gail looked at each other. "Fight." They said at the same time.
Joe was drinking straight from the bottle when Sav stopped in front of him.
"Talk to me. You've been a little tense lately. Why?"
"Why did you come back?" Joe blurted out. Evelyn heard this and looked up at them.
"For you."
"Really. It wasn't to flaunt your relationship with Olivia in my face."
"What? No! Where is this coming from?"
"That's what you have been doing Sav since we pic...forget it. You figure it..." Joe brushed past him and Sav grabbed his arm to stop him.
"No I won't forget it. You brought it up and your acting like a spoiled little brat."
"I most certainly am not!" Joe retorted.
"Really!" Sav crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh I get it. You think I've been neglecting you."
"You have!" Joe shot back.
"Since when?"
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Ever since Olivia arrived, you have spent more time with her than me. As a matter of fact, we haven't had any time together."
"Now wait a minute here Joe. This is a double-edged sword. I never said or did anything like this when you and Evelyn hooked up, did I? Now you're going to have a baby together. I supported you on that."
"I always found the time to be with you...always. Now that Olivia is here, I don't exist to you. You're always with her. What was that we said years ago? That we would never let a woman come between us. Well guess what, one has."
"That's not true. I can't believe you said that."
"Well it is, just think back over the last few months and you'll see it. So I ask you again. Why did you come back if it was going to be like this?"
Sav scrubbed his hands over his face. "You know...I don't need this right now. You think what you want Joe." Sav told him in an harsh tone and spun around to leave the room.
"To right Sav. Run away from the problem just like you always do!" Joe called after him. He heard the door slam to his room. "Shit." Joe huffed and waved his hand in the air as if to push it all away. He stormed to the back door, banging it shut behind him.
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