Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

The Perfect Guy	By : krispers Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > New Kids On The Block Views: 2841 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of the New Kids on the Block. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 36
- 37
- 38
The wind pulled some of her hair free as it gusted. She went over to the railing and leaned on it with a heavy sigh of frustration. Just the sight of him had sent a jolt to her insides. It almost enraged her to know that someone could have that kind of control over her emotions.
"will you at least tell me what’s wrong" he said walking up behind her and placing his hands on her shoulders.
She spun away from him.
"I will tell you what’s fucking wrong," she spat at him viciously "after everything I am just a random fan" her voiced cracked through the anger
"awe baby" he said reaching out for her "that was just something I told her"
She jerked away from him again. She felt like she would collaspe if she let him touch her like that again. The look he was giving her made her furious. He had no idea how much what he had said hurt her. She wondered if he ever really thought about her at all. The fury built as he stood looking at her like everything was just going to be ok at his measly dismissal of his comment. She had to do this she had to be strong and stand up for herself for once in her life. She had to make him see that she was not just going to continue to play second to his wife.
"Fuck you and her, in fact why don't you go fuck her yourself seeing she's your wife" she spat at him
"Listen" he said through gritted teeth "we have been through all of this before"
"all this" she wanted to scream "You are going to give me that when I have sat up countless nights stroking your fucking ego just so you can gather up the damn courage to go out and perform for your precious fans and you are going to dismiss me like that" she said as her voice shook with fury and tears.
She didn't want to cry, tried not to, but the alcohol had set in and she felt out of control of her emotions. His emotional hold on her and her life was infuriating.
"Kristy its complicated" he said reaching for her yet again "Lets just calm down and talk about this"
"Complicated" she did scream it this time "well let me uncomplicated it for you" she finally looked into his eyes "I am done" she said in a flat tone.
She watched the utter shock and fear well in them as his mouth trembled
"what?" was all he could manage to croak out
"I am done, I am done with every fucking thing" she said looking away, she couldn't stand to see that look in his eyes. It threatened to undo her "You will just have to find someone else to do your promotions and fuck you because I won't do either anymore" she continued in that flat falsely unemotional tone. All of this had to stop now. She refused to continue to let him punish her this way.
He stood there and just stared at her.
"Is that..." he began but when his voice shook he stopped to compose himself "is that all you think you are to me?"
She didn't know what to say. Her mind was swimming with mixed emotions. The look in his eyes had shattered her fury. She almost wanted to run into his arms, but she forced herself to hold her ground. She couldn’t and wouldn’t give in like she always did. The emotional and psychological turmoil that was her life had to end now.
He didn't speak, he just looked at her. She read a thousand things in his eyes. She could see all the love, confusion and doubt in his swimming eyes. She knew he was struggling not to shut down. She watched him fight for his own control before he spoke.
"I can't believe....." he covered his face "I really can't believe that after everything" his temper geared up "after every fucking thing we have been through you could say that to me" He covered his face again and she knew that he was crying.
It was rare for him to show his weak side in such a public place she thought almost absently. His emotion spoke volumes about the situation. They had to stop this.
"Listen," she began with a surprisingly steady voice "we started off this whole thing, this well.... relationship in a fucked up way" her voice began to quaver as he continued to hide his face "maybe it was doomed from the beginning" she said as fresh tears began sliding down from her face "I was kidding myself to even think I could ever be anything more than a fan to you" she finished as she reached up to touch his arm
He slid his hand away and his face was wet with the tears he had just shed "You were never just a fan to me" he began putting his arms around her "From the time I met you I knew that something was different, I never saw you as a fan" he finished running a finger down her flushed face.
She pushed away from him. Their bond seemed to be pulling at her insides and she knew that she had to break it or she would never separate herself from him and it had to be done.
"Listen, everything is so fucked up. Your wife, my husband" she said poking a finger hard at her chest "We can't keep going on like this, in the shadows, hiding" she hung her head in defeat "I can't do this anymore" she said in a breath that came from her weary soul.
"I love you" he said walking over to her, his face now shinning with fresh silent tears "I love you with everything I have and will ever have" he grabbed her shoulders "I just can't do this with out you" he finished with a squeeze.
"I can't, no I won't do this anymore" she said through racking sobs "I can't take all the rumors, the denials, the lying" she looked away. The worst part she told herself is that to everyone even herself she would just be the groupie, the random fan that followed him around. Their relationship would never be serious to anyone, not even to him. She was his comfort zone that he could always fall back on and she couldn't stand in his shadow anymore, it was tearing her apart.
"That’s has always been my life" he said with a shrug "I guess I am just immune to it now" he finished and finally release her arms.
He just wasn't getting it, she wanted to scream. He couldn't understand that she needed him to choose her, not just say it but really for once and for all choose her. She didn't know how to make him see it.
"Jordan you have a wife that you need to turn to, not me" she said as the tears slid down her cheeks. "I can't be your ego boost anymore" she sucked in breath "I can't be your back up"
He shot her a look full of hurt furry "You were never my back up" he paused to calm himself "you have made me see things in myself and feel things I didn't know that I was capable of" he looked away "she has never done that for me" he spun back around with renewed anger "she has never once supported me or helped me with my career" he let out a harsh laugh "hell at times I think she has deliberately tried to sabotage it" he took her shoulders again "but you make me see what I really can do"
"You are still with her Jordan" Kristy said frustrated "after everything, no matter how many times you say it or play around it you are still fucking with her" She paused as she let that hang in between them. The silence stretched as the dry wind blew around them. He finally met her eyes and she saw everything. The confusion, the love and then the defeat that he felt. She saw him take a heavy breath and gather himself.
"Its about everything I have worked for in life" he said finally "If I don't play this right, I could loose it all" he said choking up again
She was shocked right down to the bone. He had finally said it, what was really all underneath. He was scared to death of loosing everything he had gained. His life, his possessions and his career would be gone if his wife found out about them and she knew it. She had to do this now, there was no stopping it. She just had to be the one to let it go and hope against everything that he would find his way back to her some how. She felt the desperation at the thought that she wasn’t worth throwing it all away for. She took a deep breath. If he was capable of doing that then he wouldn’t be the man she fell in love with. She just had to do this. She had to give him his way out.
"we just need to take time away and fix our own problems" she said with a hand on his shoulder "You can focus on your career more and try to fix this mess" she finished with a squeeze.
"I can't do any of it with out you and you know that" he said grabbing her hand "Kristy you have given me strength that I never knew I had inside of me"
She wanted to scream in complete frustration again. Why was he playing weak now? She knew they had to do this, they had to take time to separate and see the situation for what it really was. He had to choose what he wanted, everything he had built in his life or what he could have with her.
"Jordan..." She huffed out a frustrated sigh "we need to do this and you know it, we can't go on like this. Its killing you and I know..." she gave a small false laugh "that its killing me"
"Kristy.... don't..... please...." she raised her hand to stop him, she couldn't take his begging.
"Just stop, I can't go through all of this again" she looked at her watch "Jordan I love you and I have since I was nine and probably always will, but I can't do this" she finished as he looked down away from her. She recognized the defeat again.
"I am going away for awhile" he looked up in shock
"where?" he said quickly
"It doesn't matter where, we can talk when I get back" she paused at his wounded expression "I just need the time to think" she finished with another look at her watch. She sighed hugely it was time to go.
“I don’t want us to end this way” he said pleadingly again as he realized her unrelenting determination
“Everything in life ends badly” she said almost to herself with a laugh “otherwise it sure as hell wouldn’t end” she finished in a matter of fact tone
“I don’t want it to end at all God Damn it” he screamed. He was loosing control and her and she could see his torment all over his face. She tried her best to comfort him without loosing her conviction.
“Jordan, believe me you are going to wake up tomorrow with a big sigh of relief because I am not there to remind you of the monster that is constantly chasing us” she said brushing a hand down his damp face.
“I will never in my life be relieved that you aren’t beside me” he said quietly as he looked away.
She sighed in frustration again. This was just going in circles like they always did. This fight had no beginning and no end and it was time she created an end herself. She checked her watch again. It was time and she had to go. She rubbed his face and took it in one last time as if she would never see it again.
"Kristy, I always thought we were great together" he said as she turned to leave.
"Jordan, you were always the great part of us,“ she shrugged with a half grin “I was just the one standing beside you" she turned away from him and looked up at the black sky “and that one can always be replaced” she said lightly as the tears ran like rivers down her cheeks. She didn't pause for a response as she walked back into the bar, hurriedly snatched up her bag and sped off to the waiting cab.
Bubba was holding the door for her as she quickly stormed out. She would have completely missed him if he hadn't grabbed her arm.
"Keep in touch" he said knowingly to her tear ravaged face.
She stopped immediately and put a hand to her mouth
"Oh god Bubba, I am so sorry" she said through short gasps.
He went to grab her up in his arms but she stepped back. Recognizing her determination he reluctantly moved a step back away from her.
"Look" he said after a deep breath "do what you have to do but don't make me come looking for you" he said with a playful wag of his finger in an attempt to lighten the mood.
She laughed feebly through her tears "I will let you know where I am once I get there" she said with a squeeze of his arm.
"I am really sorry about earlier" she said still squeezing but looking down at the sidewalk in agony.
He just waved his hand in a don't worry about it gesture and she thought she saw tears swim into his eyes before he turned his head away.
The cabby beeped his horn annoyingly.
"Gotta go Big Guy" she said leaning over to kiss him on the cheek.
"Please...." she began but Bubba cut her off
"as long as he is paying me I will worry about him, no matter how stupid he acts" he said with a light touch of her cheek that threatened to unbalance her flimsy composure. She forced herself to walk away towards the waiting cab. Her conviction wavered and she stopped, turned and locked eyes with him. She felt every emotion wave through her. She just had to do this she reminded herself and with out another word she turned back and quickly got into the cab. She looked around to watch him as the cab drove away into the misty darkness. He stared after her for a moment and then just hung his head. That was the last thing she saw of him when the cab turned the corner, Bubba in his expensive suit crying at the sidewalk.
- 36
- 37
- 38
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

The Perfect Guy