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A Certain History	By : Redneckgirl Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Slipknot Views: 2446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Slipknot. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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‘Oh hell and crap and fuck! I need my nan!’ shouted Jade as she noticed a small tear in the side of her dress. She had put on roughly four pounds since she had brought the Roberto Cavalli zebra print dress, and as she had pulled it down to cover her bum it had torn at the side. The dress itself was beautiful, very long and hung over one shoulder diagonally so that her left side was exposed to the hip where a shiny diamante clasp pinned it together, and with a split to the very top of her thigh on the other side. It just about covered her up, with the help of double sided tape applied here and there.

‘Which one? Nunna or Grace? Said Jim, referring to both grandmothers who would be at the party.

‘Nanny Grace, since she was a seamstress and all. Hang on I’ll call Kelly and ask if she can bring her over with Jamie, she should be dropping her off any second now’ said Jade as she grabbed her phone and searched for Kelly’s number. And after Kelly had finished laughing much to Jade’s dismay she informed her she would go and fetch Grace on her way and drop them off in her car, since Grace was 75 years old she didn’t expect her to walk like she had planned to do.

‘So I’ve not actually met your Jamaican relatives yet, what’s your nan like?’ said Jim as he watched Jade applying her blush, trying to keep his hands to himself. She looked amazing in that dress.

‘Imagine dad with his volume turned up to a thousand, in a wig, and drunk! There, that’s nan!’ said Jade with a little laugh. Jim wasn’t quite sure he believed her, but ten minutes later he found it to be very much the truth as a little Jamaican lady came ambling into the house with Jamie, and shouted at the top of her voice.

‘JADE LUCIA! WHERE ARE YOU GIRL?’ her thick Jamaican accent boomed right through the house.

‘In my bedroom nan’ she shouted back. It took Grace about five minutes to carefully climb the stairs before she appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, mini sewing kit in hand.

‘Now, what mess have you got yourself into my sweet?’ said Grace as Jade walked over and gave her a huge hug and kiss, she’d missed her a lot.

‘I tore the side trying to get it over my butt’ said Jade as she released Grace from the hug and showed her what she had done.

‘Deary me! Oh well I can fix this no problem but before I do are you going to introduce me to this very handsome man here?’ said Grace, pointing at Jim who blushed a little.

‘Oh of course! Yes, sorry nan this is my new boyfriend Jim’ said Jade, watching as Grace reached up and held his face in her hands.

‘Oh yes, a definite improvement on Stefan, come here and give me a kiss’ she said as Jim chuckled softly and bent over double to give a kiss to Grace, who was all of 5ft 1. ‘And you certainly don’t waste your time do you girl? I don’t blame you, as Allegra would say; amore’ said Grace sweetly, reaching up and pinching Jim’s cheek with a little cackle of a laugh before turning her attentions back to her granddaughter and her ripped dress.

‘Okay, I’ll do what I did with Marilyn all those years ago and just sew you into it. Worked for her and her nice big round bum and it’ll work for you too’ said Grace, smacking Jade on the bum and hitching up her dress to sew the seams back together from the inside.

‘I didn’t tell you baby, but when Marilyn Monroe had to be sewn into the jewel encrusted dress she wore to sing happy birthday to President Kennedy my nan was one of the people who did the stitching’ said Jade proudly, as Grace just waved her hand in a dismissive way.

‘Really? Wow, so what was she like then?’ Jim asked Grace, quite amazed by that piece of information.

‘Marilyn was a lovely girl, so full of joy. And a lot more intelligent than people ever gave her credit for. I worked with her on a couple of occasions actually. You see I used to be a freelance seamstress working for the big production companies like MGM and 20th Century Fox, so I worked with a few of the greats. Greta Garbo, Jean Harlow, Montgomery Clift and the like’ said Grace as she expertly threaded a piece of white cotton through the eye of the needle she held and began to make the first stitch into Jade’s dress.

‘You did damn well for yourself nan, you and granddad worked so hard for what you have’ said Jade adoringly. The story of her grandparents life together was an amazing one. They had met at just thirteen years old and been childhood sweethearts, causing much scandal in the small dwelling of Beechers Town when Grace fell pregnant at just fifteen. Julius got a job working as a fisherman to support the young family, and when Stephen was six years old (and his sister Kay just one) the family moved to the US with the money they had saved so they could continue to work and strive hard to make a living and give their children the best possible future they could. And with Stephen becoming a skilled cardiologist and Kay becoming a writer their efforts had all been worth it.

‘There, perfect. I must say though, Mr Cavalli wouldn’t know quality stitching if it hit him in the face!’ said Grace as she tidied Jade’s dress and then made another remark that completely cracked up both her granddaughter and boyfriend.

‘And you young lady, you wouldn’t know what decent underwear was if it hit you in the face! Call those knickers? I’ve seen more cloth on one of your granddads handkerchiefs!’ said Grace, referring to the miniscule black thong Jade wore, and the fact that the cut of the dress meant she had to go without a bra too. Once they were done Grace headed back downstairs while Jade sprayed herself in her favourite perfume Poison, and then had to fend off the advances of her man and his wandering hands.

‘How the hell am I meant to keep my hands off you all night looking the way you do?’ he said, moving her hair to one side and kissing her neck as his hands ran across the parts of her body the dress revealed.

‘If I can control myself you have to too! And I gotta say, damn you look sharp in a suit’ she said, turning around and grabbing him by the jacket lapel and pulling him to her, kissing him deeply and then untangling herself, picking up her purse and taking his hand to go and meet the others downstairs where they encountered a hilarious sight straight away at the bottom of the stairs.

‘Corey? Are you okay there dude?’ asked Jade as she arrived at her friends side, noticing him looking into the lounge straight at Alicia, her back to him as she chatted to Jo.

‘I................. I, I erm.......... your cousin................... fuck me she looks incredible!’ said Corey, barely managing to get his words out. He’d thought Alicia to be very attractive just in her scruffy clothes with no makeup on and all her hair tied up, but now, seeing her in a vintage Versace dress Allegra had leant her with her long blonde hair tumbling down her bare back Corey could hardly string a sentence together.

‘Hmmmm, I feel a cunning plan forming’ said Jade, a big mischievous smile spreading across her glossed lips.

‘Cunning plan?’ asked Corey, tearing his eyes away from Alicia to turn and look at Jade while Sid stood next to him laughing quietly.

‘Oh yeah, you see my friend my cousin just so happens to fancy the arse off of you’ replied Jade, watching Corey’s eyes widen, and then a huge grin fix on his lips.

‘And with that piece of info, Mr Smooth is off to work a little charm in Miss DiMaggio’s direction’ said Corey, turning and grinning at Sid and Jim before walking off into the lounge in the direction of his target. Jade then fetched her car keys and got Jamie, Jim, her nan and Jo into her Nissan and drove them five minutes down the road to her parents place, dropping them off and coming back to Alicia, Corey, Chris and Jen, and then lastly Jan and Sid. She parked her car up next to her mother’s Porsche and got out with the guys, locked and alarmed it and then walked over to where everyone was waiting for them by the gate that lead into the huge garden at the rear of her parents home, took Jim’s hand and lead the way with her father’s huge present under her arm, Jo carrying the end of it behind her.

‘There he is! Happy Birthday dad’ said Jade as she located her father at the entrance to the marquee as he greeted his guests with Jules.

‘Thanks baby, and my god whatever have you got for me there?’ Stephen enquired as he watched her and Jo carefully lower the present to the floor.

‘Well carry it in and open it! Then you’ll know, but be careful it weighs a ton!’ said Jade, helping her father pick it up again and walking with him over to one of the big tables, grabbing a glass of wine off the tray held by one of the four waitresses Jules had hired. She really had gone to town with the celebrations. And while Jim sat down next to Carlo and Allegra and began to catch up with them and receive many congratulations on his relationship with their granddaughter Jade stood and watched as her father opened his gift, seeing him gasp audibly as he tore the paper down the front and saw what was presented in the glass case.

‘Oh my god, I can’t believe................... oh my god!’ he exclaimed as he looked at the beautiful maple wood flying V guitar, once owned and played by Jimi Hendrix, his all time favourite musician. Next to where the guitar was mounted was an actual photo, not a reprint of Hendrix playing it, and underneath that a piece of paper with his autograph on it. ‘It’s, it’s too much darling! Thank you, thank you so much my angel’ he continued, pulling his daughter down towards him to hug and kiss her, completely overcome with emotion that she had brought him something so special for his sixtieth birthday, and also so expensive.

‘It’s from Jim too, he paid half and even sat on the phone bidding for it when it went under auction last week at Christies, and it isn’t too much daddy, you deserve it for being the best father a girl could ever ask for’ said Jade, beckoning Jim over. Stephen thanked him too from the bottom of his heart, beyond touched at such a beautiful present that he was scared to even dream the price tag of. Jade hadn’t seen much change out of £1 million, let’s put it that way. But her wealth was something she liked to spoil her friends and family with, the people who she wanted to share her success with.
‘I love you baby, thank you once again, and thank you too son’ he said, shaking Jim’s hand and still looking beyond overwhelmed. With Jim’s help Jade carried the guitar into the house for safe keeping and then returned to the marquee, noticing her uncle Joseph walking towards her as she entered.

‘I just want to warn you your aunt Marie has got stuck into the red wine and is rather............lucid shall we say. I’ll keep an eye on her and come and save you if it looks like she’s trying to drag you off for an ear bending but I just thought I’d warn you. She’s already started having a moan about this dress you’re almost wearing’ said Joseph with a small laugh as he hugged his niece and then shook Jim’s hand.

‘It’s good to see you again James’ he said warmly, escorting him off in the direction of the bar where Jade knew he’d get the ‘talking to’ straight away. Jamie had always been the one to warn new boyfriends of a fate worse than death if they ever so much as creased a hair on her head, so she expected it to come from Joseph now Jamie was no longer with them, a man as protective of his nieces and nephew as his late brother was. With her boyfriend effectively stolen from her Jade used the time to go and catch up with her family, and there were many people she hadn’t seen for so long. So many she didn’t realize two hours has passed in her catching up with everyone since Joseph had dragged Jim off.

‘Look at you, you look radiant. I can hardly believe you are thirty four! I just can’t! Her beloved aunt Kay exclaimed as she sat next to Jade facing her, holding both of her hands and looking her up and down. ‘And this dress! Wow, amazing!’ she added, making Jade smile as she smoothed her hand over the satin fabric.

‘It looks like you skinned something on an African game reserve’ she heard her grandfather say behind her, and turned to see him smiling his same lopsided smile as he gave her a hug and a kiss and sat down between her and his daughter. And so she was kept chatting for another hour as she went over what had happened in her marriage break down to her aunt and grandfather, and how she and Jim had not wasted one moment longer in becoming an official couple after admitting their feelings to each other at long last. Leaving them suitably pleased that she was okay and coping well (they had been naturally worried on hearing the news) Jade got up and went for another tour of the marquee to find her beloved. It was just as she saw him come into view at the far end sat with his band mates and hers that Jade felt someone tug at her elbow, and turned to see her aunt Marie with a face like thunder.

‘A word outside please Jade’ said Marie, dragging her off in the direction of the exit of the huge marquee before Jade had time to argue.

‘So how are you Marie? Nice to see you as always’ said Jade kindly, trying if possible to diffuse the bomb she felt was about to go off.

‘Never mind me; it’s you and your behaviour I want to discuss! Since no other member of the family will stand up to you and the way you are acting as usual it’s left to me’ said Marie, pausing briefly to sip her wine before she continued. ‘I just do not know where to begin! Perhaps I should start on the fact you hardly let your sheets cool down after your husband’s departure to invite another man into your bed! Honestly Jade, I am shocked, disgusted and appalled at this! The shame you have brought to our family, you are a married woman still! Did your vows mean nothing to you? Was the sanctity of your marriage not worth fighting for before you gave it up for him in there?’ she fumed, jerking her head backwards in the direction of the marquee.

‘I can’t believe you would say such things to me Marie! Stefan was the one who couldn’t honour his vows, who cheated on me! What was I supposed to do? Wait around in an unhappy marriage with a broken heart and wait for him to take the piss out of me by doing it again? Because he would have! I was just too stupid to realize that when I married him’ said Jade, taken aback with what her aunt had fired at her.

‘Yes it is! At least then you would have still been able to show some stability to Jamie, which leads me onto my next problem with you. Seven year olds shouldn’t know the meaning of the word fornication, and most definitely not know that’s what her mother does with her new plaything!’ she ranted.

‘Marie, Jamie is MY daughter, and I will educate her as I see fit. You forget that she has the mental maturity of a child of at least twelve, and for your information she got a big telling off for what she said to you on the phone, something that may I add she did mean as a joke. And as for your comments about Jim, he isn’t a plaything, he’s my boyfriend, who I happen to love’ Jade said back, raising her voice as she felt her anger grow. Just who did Marie think she was?

‘Oh so you do actually know his name then, well I guess there’s a start’ snorted Marie. Jade was aghast.

‘You know Marie, I’ve never had a problem with you, ever. But my god, you really do show your true colours after a few glasses of plonk don’t you? And those colours are that you are a complete vile bitch!’ Jade said, then was shocked even more as she felt Marie’s hand slap her straight across the face.

‘And you little miss, you’re a bloody whore! You even wear the clothes to match how a whore looks, suits the way you behave perfectly’ said Marie. Jade was just about to really loose it when suddenly she saw her mother approaching.

‘Did I just see you slap my daughter?’ she said quietly, eyeing Marie with barely concealed rage.

‘She asked for...’ was all she could manage before Jules swung her fist straight into the side of her mouth.

‘And you asked for that Marie, now, put your wine glass down and keep your overbearing opinions to yourself. You and your Catholic clap trap will not ruin my husband’s birthday, and you WILL NOT talk to my daughter like she’s dirt. This is your last warning, if I have one more incident with you I’ll call you a cab and you can fuck off home. Am I making myself clear?’ said Jules as Marie stood rubbing her jaw in shock.

‘I understand’ she said quietly, watching Jules take Jade’s hand and lead her back into the marquee.

‘God, she really got you baby’ said Jules, fishing in her purse for her power compact and applying a little to Jade’s cheek just as Jim walked over.

‘What’s going on?’ he said, looking at their less than happy faces.

‘My sister in law thought it her place to slap Jade, so I punched her’ said Jules, covering the red blemish nicely and letting Jade re apply her blush over the beige powder.

‘She did what?’ said Jim, just as Joseph reached them, hearing the last part too.

‘I’ll go and have a word, Jules I’m so sorry about her. You know how holier than thou she can get. And Jade, I apologise to you too on her behalf. She’s out of order this time’ said Joseph, setting his glass of whiskey down on a nearby table and going out in search of his wife.

‘Can we keep this to ourselves mom? I don’t want it ruining dad’s night if he finds out, and if nunna knew she’d only make it her mission to go and put a chair over Marie’s head’ said Jade with a little smile.

‘Of course, now you two lovebirds go off and enjoy yourselves! Drink! Be happy! Dance!’ said Jules, ushering them both away with a smile that only grew wider as she watched Jim pull Jade into his arms and kiss her forehead. And with the unpleasantness over the night could only get better, and it really did. Jade only spent a few more moments talking about her aunt, and Jim understood she needed to vent.

‘I mean Christ she’s my family! I just don’t understand why she has to be so vicious sometimes’ she said, sitting on Jim’s lap with her arms loosely draped around his neck.

‘Seems like its probably more her own issues than anything you’ve done, that’s about all I can offer up sweetheart’ said Jim with a shrug, his hand stroking her bare thigh.

‘Well, she just walked back in, I hope she has the sense to keep a dignified silence again, god help her at the hands of my mother if she doesn’t’ said Jade, looking over to where Marie had sat down with her two sisters and their children.

‘Yeah! Your mom’s fierce, I can’t believe she punched her!’ exclaimed Jim, his eyes creasing as he laughed.

‘Where do you think I get it from?’ said Jade, reaching forward to grab her glass of wine.

‘Well I know one thing, I hope we’ll be as happy as your folks are when we’ve been together that long’ said Jim, pointing over at Stephen and Jules slow dancing together.

‘So you can see us going the distance then?’ said Jade.

‘Sure can, so then Miss Barry, do you fancy taking a turn with me on the dance floor? I can’t dance per say, but I can sway at least’ said Jim. Jade smiled and kissed him, whispered ‘I love you so much’ and got up off his lap, walking over to the dance floor in the middle and resting her head against his chest as she swayed to the music in his arms, noticing her mother tap her father and point to them, then seeing them both smile so lovingly at them she felt a lump in her throat. Her aunt Marie could say whatever the hell she liked; her parent’s approval was all that mattered. And as they danced close to her table Jade’s ears could pick up on her gossiping with her sisters about her, but just ignored it and looked up at Jim. As long as he was there, nothing else mattered.

‘She does look good for thirty four though, that much has to be said. If I had a figure like that I’d wear a dress like that too!’ one of them said.

‘Hmph! She only looks like that because of the amount of drugs she used to take, or probably still does. Good god! Did you see that then? That’s a bloody love bite on her thigh!’ Marie then said.

‘Ooops, I gotta be more discreet in where I leave those’ said Jim as he and Jade overheard what Marie had just gasped and laughed.

‘I think the cut of the dress has a little something to do with it being visible’ she giggled, noticing her brother hovering behind them, armed with the tool of his trade, being a professional photographer and all.

‘Okay you two, snapper is here! Smile!’ said Marco, taking a picture of them and waiting for it to come up on the digital display and then showing it to them.

‘Awwww bro that’s lovely’ said Jade, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

‘And now I have to move on keep aunt Marie busy for five minutes, a favour for your friend actually’ said Marco to Jim.

‘Oh yeah? And what would that be dude?’ asked Jim.

‘Making sure she doesn’t see Alicia sneaking out with Corey’ said Marco with a wide grin before looking over to where they were both hovering apart from each other near to the exit. Jade and Jim both looked at each other and then over to them as Marco gave them the thumbs up and made a fuss of his aunt, distracting her just enough for Corey to grab Alicia’s hand and dive out of the marquee entrance into the darkness.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, Corey Taylor scores at last’ said Jade, wondering when in the night they would be sneaking off together since they had done nothing but sit and talk to each other for the whole party, seemingly oblivious to everyone else.

‘I hope he has the sense not to get up to anything in your parents house’ said Jim, resting his chin on Jade’s head as they continued to dance together.

‘I highly doubt Alicia would let him get that far so soon, she’s a classy gal’ said Jade. Or so she thought....

‘Finally, I can do what I’ve wanted to do all damn night’ said Corey as he encircled Alicia’s waist with his arms and pulled her closer, giving her a small kiss then letting out a frustrated growl.

‘Take ‘em off! I can’t cope with you being about a fucking foot taller than me!’ he exclaimed, pointing at her shoes. Alicia giggled and bent to slip the straps off her heels and kick her shoes off, standing then at least two inches shorter than Corey.

‘Is that better?’ she asked, putting her arms around his neck.

‘Yeah, it’s never good to feel like a munchkin’ said Corey, his hands stroking her arms.

‘So are you going to shut up and kiss me now?’ said Alicia, leaning in a little closer to him.

‘Sure am’ he replied, before doing just that. Alicia could feel her heart rocketing in her chest as she felt his tongue gently nudge against hers, his hands softly sweeping down her back and resting on her ass. She loved that feeling of a first kiss with a guy she really found attractive, and this was even better as throughout the evening she had actually got to know him better too, ad thought he was lovely. As they kissed Alicia felt herself being walked backwards until her back was pressed into a large oak tree, and Corey’s hands beginning to wander.

‘Corey! Not here, there’s like a few hundred people just over there!’ she squeaked, pulling his face level to hers again from where his lips had been kissing the tops of her breasts.

‘Sorry, but have you seen yourself in that fucking dress? You can’t blame a fella for having control issues when the woman he’s kissing looks as hot as this!’ he exclaimed, running his hands up and down her body and kissing her neck.

‘Mmmmm, easy tiger’ she said, pushing him away again. ‘Later, okay? I’m staying at Jade’s so it really won’t be a problem’ she purred, giving him another kiss and picking up her shoes to walk back inside. Corey watched her walk back and then waited until she was out of sight to punch the air in triumph.

‘Still fucking got it!’ he said, lighting a cigarette and heading in the direction Alicia had just gone.
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A Certain History