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Lost Without You	By : shebyra Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 1698 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Disclaimer: The
following is total fiction none of it really happened. (Well not that I’m aware of anyway!) I do not know Darren Hayes or Daniel Jones and I do not know their true sexuality. I do not mean any harm or disrespect to either of them.
“Hi Cass, sorry I was so long Danny and I hadot tot to talk about.”
“Hi guys, I was about to come and find you, I thought you’d got lost! So did you kiss and make up?”
“Yeah… well we made up; Danny and I are friends again.”
I was so glad he corrected himself so quickly!
“I’m glad to hear that, maybe you’ll be a little happier now.”
“I’m sure I will be. Listen Cass do you think you’d be able to change our flights? Would you mind?”
“Sure, I’ll see what I can do. When do you want the flights for? You remember we need to be back in the States before the end of next week?”
h, wh, well how about next Tuesday? That’ll give us time to get back and get prepared.”
“Ok I’ll re-arrange the flights for next Tuesday. I’ll book us into a hotel too.”
“Yeah, only for tonight though I’ll call home and ask if we can stay there for the rest of the time. I’m sure mum won’t mind.”
“Ok I won’t be long I’ll just go and make a couple of calls.”
After Cassy left we went to find Kathy. When we found her I hugged her and gave her a kiss, as usual, I didn’t want her thinking anything was wrong. Darren later told me he couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealously as he saw me in someone else’s arms, especially after what we’d just shared. If only she knew!
The next day after we got home I decided I would tell Kathy that I wanted to break off our engagement. No point in putting it off now I’d made the decision. I knew she wouldn’t be happy but it had to be done. I just had to be gentle; I didn’t want to hurt her any more than I had to.
“Kathy, can we talk love? There’s something I need to say.”
“Sure babes, what’s wrong?”
How to begin?
“Babe, you know I care about you right?”
“Yeah, well we are engaged, I hope you do care about me.”
“Well that’s what I need to talk to you about. You see… I haven’t felt too sure about this engagement in recent weeks. Maybe I rushed into it and now I feel I made a mistake, I don’t think I’m ready for the commitment. I love you, I really do but I don’t want to marry you. I’m really sorry.”
“You want to postpone? That’s ok it’s not like we’ve set a date anyway, I don’t mind a long engagement.”
“No, Kath I mean I don’t want to get married, not now not ever.”
“Why? What did I do wrong? I thought we were ok. What happened? Is there another woman?”
“Darling you didn’t do anything wrong! It’s me, I just can’t handle it, I want out. It’s not another woman, I promise you that. Believe me I’d do anything to make it right and not hurt you but I can’t help my feelings. Would you really rather I stayed with you when I don’t feel what I should for you? That wouldn’t be fair on you. I love you but not enough to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m just being honest with you, you deserve that. You deserve better than me that’s for sure. You’ll soond snd someone else, someone who loves you the way you should be loved, you’re way too special not to.”
“So that’s it, just like that we’re finished?”
“I’m really sorry Kath, but I can’t help my feelings. Please try to understand and try not to hate me too much. I’d like it if we could stay friends but I understand if you don’t want to.”
Tears were trickling down her face she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. I felt like such a shit and I hated that I was hurting her but it wouldn’t be fair to pretend everything was ok when it wasn’t. I took her in my arms and hugged her.
“Kathy please don’t cry, I really never meant to hurt you. Please don’t hate me.”
“I could never hate you Danny, I love you too much. But as for us being friends I’m not sure uld uld handle that, at least not right away. Maybe later, but not right now.”
“That’s ok I understand. I know it may seem like this has come out of nowhere but really it hasn’t. I’ve felt this way for a while now I hid my feelings because I didn’t want to hurt you. stymso-mso-spacerun:yes'> I tried to make it right but I can’t go through with marrying you when I feel like this. It wouldn’t be fair on either of us especially not you.”
“Is there nothing I can do to make you change your mind? If there’s anything you’d like me to do that I don’t do now, I’ll do it, anything. I don’t want to lose you. Please Danny, is there something I do that you don’t like, tell me and I’ll stop doing it.”
“Kathy I’ve told you, it’s not you, it’s me. Really there is nothing you can do or not do that will make the slightest bit of difference. I’m sorry but it’s how I feel nothing can change it.”
“Does this have anything to do with Darren?”
I stood back and looked at her.
“Darren? What do you mean? Why would it have anything to do with Darren?” Surely she can’t have guessed? I thought.
mal>“Well he’s single, now he’s back in your life maybe you want to be single too so you can both go out and have fun together like you used to. It’d make sense; things were ok between us till he came back.”
“Kathy it has nothing to do with Darren being back! Things may have seemed ok but they weren’t, I was living a lie. Ok talking to Darren helped me to come to a decision about breaking off the engagement, but only because he made me see how unfair I was being to you. Don’t blame Darren; I’m the only one to blame here!”
“Ok no need to be so touchy! I’m not blaming Darren it just seems strange that you get talking to him for the first time in a couple of years and the next day you’re calling off our engagement. I can’t help thinking it has something to do with him.”
“Like I said it’s nothing to do with Darren. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you it’s the last thing I wanted to do, believe me, but I can’t help how I feel. Will you just accept that it’s over?”
“Ok I guess I don’t have a lot of choice if there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. Maybe you’d better leave now or do you want me to leave?”
“No you stay. I’m the one at fault here if anyone should leave it’s me.”
“Where will you go?”
“Do you care?”
“Of course I care!”
“Sorry, I know you do. I’ll probably go home for a while till I get something else sorted. I’m sure mum won’t mind me crashing there. I’ll just go pack a few things, you don’t mind if I come back for the rest of my stuff when I’m settled do you?”
“No of course I don’t.”
I went upstairs to pack my things and called home to arrange to stay there for a while. Mum was cool about it and didn’t pry too much, which was good. I went back doairsairs put my bags in the car and went to say goodbye to Kathy. I could tell it was tearing her apart, and to be honest it was hurting me a lot more than I thought it would.
“You will be alright won’t you love? I know you’re upset but you won’t do anything dumb will you?”
“What like kill myself you mean? It would serve you right if I did but don’t worry Dan I won’t land that guilt trip on you. I’m too sensible and life is too precious for me to even consider that. You may as well have this back.”
She handed me her engagement ring. That made it so final. I gave her a hug and kissed her goodbye then I left. It was over.
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Lost Without You