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Midnight Butterfly	By : Skwishee Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 6674 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Edited by Tech Department February 12, 2007 for database corruption related errors.

A muffled scream penetrated the silent air, stirring the guitarist from his sleep, and then came the sound of frantic, familiar voices. Tired and confused he struggled for consciousness trying to; at the most, awaken himself enough to investigate these strange sounds. The concentrated heaviness of his eyes was adding in his frustration and in a sigh of defeat he felt them flutter closed once more.

Another scream, this time softer, but definitely audible made its self clear, followed by the click of the doorknob as it turned. His eyes fluttered open in alarm only to be met with the careful features of the drummers face. Not far under the usual stoic glare in his eyes lay this blatant panic and sadness, his appearance stealing a grimace in the dark.

“Kaoru,” He stated the name soundly but with slight hesitation, the mere pronunciation of the two syllables enough to betray the instability in his voice, carefully attempting to conceal a feeling of pure fear. Suddenly Kaoru didn’t want the drummer to say another word. “Kyo is having a nightmare.”

Kaoru groaned, the worn pads of his fingers rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Shinya, just...”

Shinya urgently cut him off. “We can’t get him up, he’s in the kitchen.” The drummer was exhausted, his voice shaking and tired.

“What?” It was four o’clock in the morning, he was tired, and Shinya was concerned over nothing. “How? I thought you said he’s asleep.” Shinya gave a slight nod, “He sleepwalked I imagine, but that’s not all, he...” His voice was interrupted by the faint sound of Die’s from somewhere within the house. “Shin-chan! The first-aid kit...” Shinya spat out an expletive and rushed off to retrieve what Die had wanted, leaving a stunned and rather confused Kaoru behind. Annoyed, Kaoru cast the covers aside and tottered almost aimlessly towards the hall, determined to find out the cause of his sleep’s rude interruption and viciously kill it.

The distinct coppery smell hit him as he neared the kitchen and this sudden air of nervousness bitterly gripped his body as his feet strayed ever closer. “Die?” the sound hitched in his throat and the word didn’t carry far from his lips. He saw the red flicker of Die’s hair from the corner of his eye as he came more rapidly towards his destination, hearing a choked voice desperately pushing out words, “So much blood.”

Immediately the words bore themselves straight inside of the band leader and he speedily took the last few steps to the opening wall of the kitchen. The red head was crouched by the lower cabinets adjoining the dishwasher, his hands shaking as he attempted to calm himself down, to no avail. Then it hit him. Kyo was curled up on the floor; most of his upper body had slight streaks of crimson staining the fair skin, his left arm stretched to some extent from his side, the right resting, palm open and upward, next to it. A long steel cooking skewer impaled through the palm of his left hand, copious amounts of blood seeping from the wound continuously. The blonde was still asleep, whimpering as his body shook from his powerful nightmare, the pool of red coating the side of his face as he tried to curl as tightly as possible against himself.

“Oh my god! What happened?!!” Die’s voice caught the other man unaware as it responded as best it could.

“He was asleep when he did this a few minutes ago, he hasn’t woken up. We’ve tried to wake him but....” Kaoru eyed the hateful silver object protruding from within the tender flesh as though it had done the deed all by itself. Kneeling down he examined the injury at a closer range, wincing as the blonde jerked in his sleep.

“We have to remove it.” Kaoru's hand hesitantly hovered over the metal, not sure how to go about it. Die cut in. “We can’t. The little demon’s fucking strong! Managed to have enough force to drive that damned thing through his hand and straight through the tiling, it’s stuck in the floor and I don’t wanna risk trying to rip it out.”

Upon closer inspection it was confirmed, the sharp point of the skewer had powerfully broken the surface of the tile and embedded itself deep. This had taken a great deal of force. “Well, it has to come out...” The guitarist tried desperately to keep his calm composure. Shinya sat down on the cold floor, first-aid kit in hand and began rummaging through the box for anything that would be of help and Band-Aids certainly wouldn’t suffice this time.

One last pass over the wound and Kaoru had an idea. “Die, get me a pair of...” he made squeezing motions with his hands attempting to help him with the words, demonstrating what it was that he needed. Die just sat stunned at the guitarist’s lack of articulation. “Those big wire cutters, do we still have a pair?” Die nodded and opened the bottom drawer near the sink, poking around a bit before finally retrieving the black handled cutters from within the depths of the drawer and handling them obediently over to his friend.

Kaoru breathed in deep as he placed the shears around the metal at the bass of the wooden handle, Kyo recoiled when the pressure was applied and a with a few minutes of forceful struggling the shears snapped through the metal, the handle falling to the tile with a clicking sound. A stifled cry from the blonde broke the eerie silence as Kaoru slipped his right hand carefully under Kyo’s as the other supported the dreamer’s lower arm, keeping it as straight as possible to avoid any further damage. He bit his lip as he cautiously lifted the whole of Kyo’s hand, leading it further up the skewer until it slid easily over the broken edge at the top.

The wound was harsh, bleeding profusely, but no real damage was done. “He’ll be ok, there were no veins hit, but we have to get him patched up and to the emergency room I think, it needs stitches, but we should wake him first.”

The weight of the auburn haired drummer shifted as he leaned to scoop the small vocalist in his arms as he sat Indian-style on the cold linoleum flooring, Kyo’s upper body resting in his lap, the drummer’s slender hand stroking fair hair out of the smaller one’s face. “Maybe that’s not such a good idea. It could send him into shock. Don’t they say you shouldn’t wake a sleepwalker?”

“Maybe so, but I can’t stand letting him stay in that head of his. I can’t watch him like this Shinya.”

Kaoru stared on as the blonde’s body jerked involuntarily, sending him into isolated spasms as his cries caught in his throat. Shinya’s protective arms clutched him tighter, trying to still him even for a moment. “I’m just scared to...”

The deep voice of the leader broke through Shinya’s words. “Listen to me. I think he’d rather wake up here with us than wake up in some strange white room with a doctor standing over him, don’t you think?”

Shinya nodded reluctantly. “I guess so.” Shinya wasn’t lying, he was scared. And the thought of Kyo waking up without them there to calm him down made the drummer even more nervous, so there really was no choice was there? With an echoing, breathy sigh, Shinya gripped Kyo’s shoulders and shook him softly, careful not to hurt him or startle him too much.

“Kyo, come-on you little demon, wake up...” His voice was stern but soft at the same time, and most certainly above a whisper. The pleading earning him little response from the sleeping devil, while lesser fits erupted throughout his defined body, his muscles visibly contracting with every shaky breath he stole.

“Kyo please!” His tone was gradually changing, becoming more desperate. “Wake Up!” The force at which the words were spat stung his tongue with a worried anger that seemed to chill the air. And with that final vibration of the drummer’s hands on his shoulders Kyo’s eyes fluttered open quickly, the rims filled with tears, unfocused and vulnerable. He seemed far away, closed off and it took him a few moments to realize he wasn’t dreaming any longer. Kaoru’s face slowly slipped into his view and Kyo exhaled so loudly it seemed to echo through the room. With another sharp intake of breath the barrier of tears broke and they spilled down his face with maddening pressure, his body finally relaxing somewhat and he buried his face into Shinya’s chest, wincing at the pain he felt in his hand, but paying it no heed for the moment. Shinya’s arms wrapped around to his back, running his hand soothingly over the soft skin there and his voice was calm again.

“Kyo-kun you’re hurt, we have to get you to the hospital okay?” Kyo nodded but never really moved.

Strong arms moved to pull the vocalist from his teddy bear, lifting him gently into Kaoru’s hold where he re-settled himself against the guitarist, hiding his face from view once more, buried deeply against the guitarist’s chest. Kaoru turned to face his friends. “Shinya, come with me, I need you to drive. Die-kun, go get Totchi up and dressed and meet us at the hospital. And for god’s sake tell him that Kyo will be okay, otherwise he’ll turn on the hysterics.”

“Hai.”

“Un, ja~itte kimasu.” A nod signaled for the drummer to follow as Die watched Kaoru carry Kyo out the door, unable to block his look of great concern.

With a slight sigh of resignation Die turned to do as was asked of him, letting his feet carry him to the bedroom to retrieve the sleeping kitten.

Toshiya felt the presence of a watchful shadow, not easily disguised as it prowled over his sleeping figure. Prying an eye open his sight fell on the owner of that irritating silhouette. “Die, don’t take this the wrong way but would you please piss off! I’m trying to sleep.”

“No time for that,” Die replied in a whisper. “Come on get dressed. We have to meet Kaoru and Shinya at the hospital.”

Toshiya’s tired eyes shot open. “Hospital!? Oh my god, what’s wrong?!”

*****************

He broke down completely when we got into the car. Through his painful sobs I didn’t catch all of what he managed to choke out, but this much came clear. He hadn’t even been able to distinguish the physical pain of his injury from the pain he had felt in his dreaming, leading me to suspect the true extent of the nightmares. Painful even in his dreaming...the thought made my chest hurt, though not quite factually. He hadn’t even managed to tell me what it was he had dreamt, but it really couldn’t have mattered anyway. The verity was that I now knew to what unpleasant degree these night visions had taken him and I couldn’t allow it to continue.

When we got to the hospital I carried him inside. He was still crying, choking on stifled wails. I wondered if he was breathing properly, the sound of it so inhuman. As was expected the nurses asked us to wait and fill out forms, completely ignoring the trembling childlike form in my arms and the blood seeping through the large gash on his palm. I wanted to cuss them out, scream at them for their insensitivity but the dutiful leader in me struggled to maintain a cool exterior. Shinya, on the other hand, wouldn’t have it. I had never seen him as upset as he lit in to the woman at the counter; words flying from his lips that I had never heard come from such a sweet person in all my life. At least someone said it...

And it worked too. The nurse admitted us almost immediately after Shinya managed to declare our names and information and the staff attempted to pry Kyo from my arms, but he screamed.

“Just hold onto me,” he said in the form of a cracked whisper.

He wouldn’t even let the doctors take him; he was too scared, too vulnerable. And I couldn’t say no to him, he looked so stunned and broken. Even if my mind consented to let him go my grip would never relent of my body’s will. After several attempts the doctor just asked me to follow and I walked with Kyo clinging to me down the vivid white corridors. I should’ve been nervous as all hell, but it thrilled me to some point. He was here with me now and I knew he was going to be okay. His eyes shifted nervously over the room as we entered, and he bit at his fingernails, the way I had seen him do during meetings. I didn’t look directly at him. That was out of the question. I was too bewildered for that. But I’d glimpsed the soft loose plaid of his sweatpants, clinging to his skin from the rainfall outside when I’d carried him from the car and the loose undershirt draped over his wrecked form. He was almost shaking as I sat down onto the infirmary bed, carefully reclaiming the wounded palm to show the doctor, who examined the injury for all of two seconds and sauntered to the other side of the room where a counter top lay before him, littered with medical supplies. I waited patiently on the bed, the paper lining rustling under my weight when I shifted.

“He’s very lucky a vein wasn’t hit. He could’ve bled to death if it had been.” The doctor’s voice was deep and friendly, he sounded like a good person. I’d trust him.

“Hai. I’m grateful for that much.”

The doctor smiled warmly. “All he needs is the wound cleaned and stitches on both sides. Let me give him some anesthesia and I’ll go ahead and do that. Can you keep him still, it seems he trusts you.”

I nodded and watched as the doctor began preparations. Hearing a muffled whisper from the vocalist, “Boku kara nagareta strawBerry.”

*********************

Shinya stood to greet a very distraught Toshiya as he stormed in through the automatic doors of the front entrance, his hair disheveled and sticking up and his eyes practically bugging out of his head. “He drank four cups of coffee on the way.” Die said, holding up what seemed to be an empty thermos. Toshiya made a face and grabbed Shinya.

“Is he okay I was worried and I didn’t want to come here sleepy but I’m not sleepy now I just hope he’s okay is he okay? I can’t think about that cute little warumono all covered in real blood and it makes me sad and I might cry but I think I’ll be okay. Have you heard from the doctor yet and where’s Kaoooooooru?”

Both musicians stared on in complete awe at what they -thought- had been a sentence, but they weren’t entirely sure considering the way it came rolling out of the caffeinated bassist’s mouth.

“No more coffee.” Shinya had soundly stated before sitting down again and crossing his arms in frustration. Toshiya pouted and sat down beside him, pursing his lips together.

“So where -is- Kaoru?” asked Die, kind of wondering himself.

“With Kyo and the doctor, they had to let him back there because Kyo started screaming when they tried to take him and bit a nurse. He broke down in the car... Die I’ve never seen him cry like that before, it’s scary.”

“Is he okay?”

Shinya paused, considering the question. “I imagine so, but they haven’t told me anything. He’s with Kaoru, he’ll be fine. I wouldn’t have let them take him off alone.”

Die smiled and stretched his arms above his head. “That’s good. He’ll be fine then. I’m gonna go and get some...” Shinya stopped him.

“If you say coffee I’m going to kill you!”

“AH! Iya! Candy... I’m kinda hungry. You want anything?”

When Toshiya moved to open his mouth Shinya quickly clamped his hand over it and answered for them both.

“Arigatou Die, but we’re fine… especially Totchi.”

*****************

Five o’clock in the morning. The cool surgical steel of the needle startled Kyo as he watched with limited interest as the curved piece of metal slid easily under the skin, dragging with it the synthetic fiber that would make his stitches. There was no pain, just minimal pressure wherever the needle was applied, each tug making the skin on his hand feel tight and stretched. He leaned further into Kaoru as the doctor finished tying off the last thread of stitching. Kyo’s cheeks were sticky from the tears and made his face feel taut whenever he sniffed. He mentally scolded himself for crying in the first place, but the combined feeling of the intense pain and his relief to be free of his dark dream and in the comforting arms of his friends had forced him to shed what he was trying to hold back.

Also he was embarrassed to have been holding on so fiercely to Kaoru but felt as if he would break the minute he let go. He would rather risk embarrassment and his tough reputation than to let go and sink back into that abyss. In actuality he wasn’t embarrassed so much as he was ashamed. Kaoru had shifted to get a better grip on the shorter man and Kyo blushed, but lifted his head at the movement. Kyo just stared at him. He couldn’t say anything. His voice was absolutely gone to him. The doctor nodded to Kaoru when the procedure was finished and moved to clean up the cotton balls that were soaked in Kyo’s blood that lay on the side table along with the needle, and various other surgical objects.

“Now, I’ve already put a fresh bandage on, but you will have to replace it in a few days. And please try not to use that hand much ok?”

As was expected Kyo didn’t respond.

“When it’s healed you can cut the stitches yourself, no need to bring him back in, they’re of an organic material so that shouldn’t be a problem.” With a polite ‘Oyasumi’ the doctor exited the room and left Kaoru to deal with Kyo.

“We need to talk Kyo...”

Kyo forced a smile. “You gonna break up with me?” he said faking sadness in his voice.

Kaoru blushed and laughed, “Baka!”

**********

“I don’t care if you don’t like it or not but that’s how it’ll be. Do you understand?” Kaoru asked warmly, not angry with him, no, but so moved that he could not conceal it, even with his smooth compelling voice.

“You can’t order me into your bed.” Said Kyo, backing up Kaoru’s calm voice, almost nothing above a whisper.

“Can’t I? Well there’s no way in hell you’re sleeping alone anymore. After what happened I don’t want to risk you.”

Kyo’s breathe caught in his throat. “Risk me?”

Kyo’s eyes seemed to flash brilliantly under the florescent lights and Kaoru turned his head and continued, pretending to not have heard Kyo’s words, but the tightening of his grip was somewhat of an answer to the vocalists questioning. “I will give you a choice though. You stay with me and Totchi or Die and Shinya.”

Kyo scoffed. “What’s the difference?” Kyo no longer stared at him so much as he looked into his eyes. “Not like you’d stop fucking if I was in the bed anyway.”

“Is that what’s bothering you Kyo? Listen as great as sex with Toshiya is, I’d be willing to become a fucking monk if that’s what it takes to keep you from hurting yourself!”

“I don’t want that and I KNOW Toshiya doesn’t! Just... when I’m there...”

Kaoru smiled. “How about when we want privacy we’ll tell you to sleep with Die and Shinya alright?” Kyo didn’t answer. “Look, Kyo... just... please. This means a lot. You scared me tonight and I... this is gonna sound -really- wrong but, I want you in my bed. I don’t know how else to say it.” Kyo let out a tired laugh.

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Midnight Butterfly