Breaking Through | By : gardenrose Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Savage Garden Views: 4056 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Savage Garden. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
“Band on the run, that’s what we should have called it!” Darren moaned and theatrically threw his head back against the headrest of the seat and closed his eyes.
They were in a car, being taken from a radio interview to their management office.
Daniel chuckled to himself and took a hold of Darren’s hand.
“If that stylist wouldn’t have showed you that feminine side of yours … and maybe with my little help later…” he moved closer and planted a soft kiss on Darren’s neck, “a world would have lost an amazing actress.”
Darren gasped without opening his eyes, taking his hand away.
“Diva, baby, Elizabeth Taylor should be polishing your shoes now,” Daniel was on the border of becoming really annoyed or laughing out load.
He was just too aware of how Darren again over exaggerated things and even though Daniel was indeed tired himself, he didn’t just get it off on anybody. He didn’t get it off on Darren. At this thought he actually felt a little guilt over making in his opinion innocent fun of Darren.
He was just acting like they’re the best mates and of course they were not any more. Some times Darren’s over sensitive nature escaped Daniel’s attention and something inappropriate would always be said in all the wrong times.
Darren didn’t speak to him the rest of the way.
He kept his eyes shut and pretended asleep which Daniel knew he wasn’t.
Some times Daniel wondered how much of it is just drama and how much of it is real. Is he really going through all those little spectacles with his heart and soul?
As far as Daniel was concerned, it was just a game.
What kind of game he was yet to find out.
He wasn’t necessarily happy to be in the middle of all this theatre, but he loved Darren and he wasn’t considering any other options than just going through all they had started.
He was reassured once again when Darren offered him a smile stepping out of the car… like a sign of thank you for the door Daniel held open for him …he gently brushed his arm against Daniel’s. God Daniel just loved this man even he had (as it seemed) never understood him.
Life couldn’t have been better for Savage Garden as their single was storming radio stations and album picking up very quickly across the country.
However there was a trouble and record executives knew it.
Elena greeted them with a smile but something was telling them it is not really that happy.
She really isn’t a bad person, Daniel thought to himself. It’s just the bloody business. As they stepped into her office, she looked into Darren’s face quizzically. He stared back rather boldly. This meeting is not gonna be easy, huh? Daniel had no clue what it’s all about.
“You do what you like, Darren. And the same goes for Daniel. But your chances are still being taken; do you know what I am saying? The ice is still thin under your feet, Darren! Tone it down!”
Darren stared back at her without taking his blue eyes off her face. She had that sad look… like a mother who had run into a trouble with a child she least expected to be difficult. How could they overlook it? They just tried to keep Daniel out of trouble...
“My, my … aren’t we all a happy family any more? I haven’t moved an inch from what your people made me into. Not. A. Fucking. Inch. Don’t you like your own creation any more?” Darren spoke with an edge of very bitter sarcasm and a corner of his mouth turned into a sneer. “You just got what you wanted all the way, so why don’t you tone it down, I’ve been very fair playing your rules. Now you’re not gonna change them half way into the game, are you?”
Daniel put his hand on Darren’s tight under the table they were sitting at and thought if anyone knew any more how to control all this. Have those people done this before? Or are they actually taking chances with their life? Did they know where it all would lead? Cause Daniel sure as hell didn’t!
All he saw was that apart from being a diva Darren had quickly learned to be a bitch as well. Did someone still control it or did someone at least think they know what they’re doing? Daniel barely heard the rest of the meeting and frankly why should he? None of it was about him!
Playing the rules, fair or not, they still went through the motions and accepted the pay cheques slowly coming their way. It wasn’t anything Daniel had expected it to be once you reach the top, but it was still a huge difference at least debts were being paid back and they did not have to worry about paying their rent.
In fact, it was time to move from Daniel’s tiny apartment. Some how Daniel presumed they would both get a decent place of their own, each of them, since they could afford it, but Darren had a completely different idea.
Even Daniel had to admit their relationship was very close and growing even closer every night they spent in his single bed, it didn’t cross Daniel’s mind that they were not just sharing an apartment or crashing at the same place, they were living together. And now are they house hunting together?
“Darren, you’re not being rational! You don’t even consider listening to people who build your career,” Daniel reasoned.
“You and I are the people who build the career,” Darren screamed at him, “it is down to US, Daniel, stop this! There is no one else but us!”
They were out on the street and walking back to their old apartment from that management meeting that ended nowhere. They decided to have a walk so Darren calms down a bit from his rather heated debate with Elena. Daniel reached for Darren’s hand but he took it away, for the 10th time that day, Daniel thought. Darren walked a step ahead and all his body spoke to Daniel in the most upset manner.
The atmosphere of angst was building up for about a week and Daniel couldn’t get through to Darren’s feelings, he didn’t know how. Darren stopped and turned around to face Daniel.
“Do you agree with them? Do you also think I have to tone it down, Danny?”
The look on his face was serious and very hurt, but he wanted to hear the truth, he really wanted to.
“I don’t know what you should do. I can’t tell your real self from what they made you into. Not any more. But I love you just the same.” He reached for his hand again, “please don’t take it away from me. We don’t even touch each other outside of the bedroom any more. But I love you all and not just that lust and desire in you, all of you.” He put Darren’s hand to his lips and watched his pained expression grow into a little smile.
“I’m sorry, Danny. I know I am being difficult on. It. It’s just that I don’t know any more if this is what I want or somebody else wants or do I want to change back any more to who I was or if I even could if I wanted…” he spoke softly, pulling Daniel closer to him and they continued walking the busy streets of Brisbane hand in hand.
A light smile on Daniel’s lips. But he knew they were far from resolving anything just yet. They had just put it on hold.
“Daniel, can’t you do something about it?” it was Darren’s mother on the phone and she was so stressed out after seeing her son for the first time in two month that she was calling the only person she knew who could help. “He is so thin and he looks unhealthy. Is he using drugs, son?”
It never crossed Daniel’s mind before but that certainly would explain the mood swings and the never-ending drama and angst… Well they lived together and he would have seen it!
“Of course not! He is just working too much, we both are just working too much”
“He is killing himself. Daniel why is he staying with you all the time? Why he never goes home? He wouldn’t talk to me!”
She was desperate and Daniel knew exactly how she felt. But he couldn’t help her, couldn’t put her mind at ease.
“He acts so weird, Daniel!”
Darren was standing next to Daniel and motioning him to get off the phone.
“Why don’t you talk to your mother?” Daniel looked at him questioningly after hanging up.
Darren rolled his eyes again in a manner that mostly annoyed Daniel – a theatre manner!
“Have you TALKED to your mother?”
“Yes,” Daniel answered calmly and walked past Darren to sit on a couch.
Darren followed him and sat on his lap, putting his both hands firmly around Daniel’s body and pressing his face into Daniel’s neck.
“And what did she say?” he asked quietly.
“It’s not as simple as that. What she said doesn’t matter. She is still my mother and I know she loves me just the way I am.” Daniel answered, running his fingers through Darren’s still pitch-black hair.
They just sat there for what seemed like ages, before Daniel felt Darren’s body shiver in small sobs. He was crying out some pain Daniel couldn’t really understand. But he wished he could take it away from his beautiful beautiful diva.
Darren just wasn’t happy and Daniel could not quite put his finger on why … wasn’t career and success supposed to make you happy? It didn’t make Daniel happy but it didn’t make him cry either… Some times when he thought about it, it seemed to Daniel that it always looks better from the outside and when it ens ens to you, you don’t really see it any more as “success”, it’s just a part of your life and you deal with it like you deal with everything else coming along your way.
“I have to tell Colby,” Darren stated one Sunday morning.
Daniel didn’t protest. He knew that some things just had to be done. Few hours later he kissed Darren goodbye, watched him through the window to get in the car and leave, and then got his own car keys and went out to do some lazy Sunday shopping for their empty fridge.
He turned some heads at the supermarket but it didn’t even make him smile today. He felt tense. It slowly crept on him that he actually hated Darren going to back to his wife. Even to tell her about them. He was almost angry at the fact she even existed. He had never seen her, he never talked to her, and he just hated even to be thinking about it.
Afternoon was too boring or he just felt too worked up from all the thinking, so he made his way down to the bar and took his regular seat that hadn’t seen him in more than 2 month.
He ordered his usual and just listened to stupid bar talk that was all around him but it didn’t seem to bother Daniel. He tried to clear his head from thoughts but they kept coming back…
He was thinking of … well Darren, basically. How their life will change soon. It had to. He was just so sure he loved Darren, but did he know what to do about it? How did he see them together in a band and in life?
No matter how close they had been over the last couple of month, Daniel was still very much afraid of commitments and wasn’t love suppose to set you free, not make you a prisoner? If anything, it hadn’t set Darren free. It put some heavy chains on his limbs. And it also seemed – some heavy chains on his heart, too.
Daniel was about to call it a night when Darren appeared in the doorway looking for him. God, what the hell had happened? Had he been crying? Was he just angry? It was hard to tell from a distance…. No, he was just lost and heartbroken… What did Colby do? God, Daniel had never even thought this thing will touch Darren that much … He didn’t even think of how Colby would react, what it means to Darren and how he is going to deal with it…. Damn, Daniel, damn, how selfish can you be in all those considerations of what your life together is …
Daniel quickly paid his bill and led Darren out on the street. They didn’t talk. Darren walked ahead as always and kept his head straight up but Daniel sensed a deep humiliation that drew his shoulders down to the ground.
He didn’t even attempt to touch him. Why did everything have to be so difficult with Darren? Why did everything have to be so difficult for Darren?
When they were up at the apartment, Daniel tried to comfort Darren the only way he knew – he helped him to undress and led him to the shower. Then taking his own clothes off he joined Darren under the steaming hot water. He held him soft and tight. He wanted to be there for him. Now. Always.
As Daniel was massaging Darren’s back with soft strokes, his own needs were taking over and the heat was definitely rising. The closeness, the hotness, the water, that naked flesh… God, did I have to drink that much again, he thought to himself suddenly just barely half conscious as he was already pressing his rock hard erection against Darren’s buttocks. Darren softly moaned and leaned into a tiled wall, resting his head against his hands. The sight of Darren just bending over slightly for him was enough for Daniel to lose it. He wasn’t able to hold it back. He wasn’t even thinking of maybe holding it back. His instincts craved all over him and lubricated just by the gentle strokes of pure water, he slammed his cock into Darren with one sharp, hard and demanding movement.
Darren’s screams only pushed him further over the edge and he was just slamming into a helpless body bent over in front of him. He thought he imagined Darren crying. His shoulders were shaking violently under Daniel’s thrusts but he couldn’t stop. He came with a deep grunt and hang on to Darren’s weak body for balance, suddenly realising his lover had nearly passed out under him. Daniel returned to reality.
He withdrew causing Darren to sob one last time before just collapsing into Daniel’s arms. He carried Darren to bed and wrapped his arms protectively around him from behind, feeling Darren’s breath quickly slowing down and he was almost instantly asleep.
God, what a bastard I am, Daniel thought to himself while covering Darren’s hair with kisses of begging forgiveness. What have I done? What in the world have I done to the man I love more than life?
to be continued....
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