Tony Loves Benji | By : MyBloodItches Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Good Charlotte Views: 2466 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Good Charlotte. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I took a few days- mostly for myself, to figure out how I felt. Mentally I was more confused than before. The kiss was just so- indescribable- but at the same time I didn’t understand. Tony use to speak of homosexuals- often in fact- with a Tone that would drip with disgust. He was the biggest man whore I knew- with more women than I’d even thought existed in the world. So what was going on- with he and I? He couldn’t have felt it too- things never worked out that well for me in life.
It took all the self discipline I had not to run to Tony’s house immediately- and beg him to kiss me again. Kiss me. It was bizarre that such a small action could have me so head over heels. But it was like I couldn’t get him out of my head, everything I did made me think of him- what we did, where we use to hang out together- all the things that made me want to see him again. And then other times I would think of my family. Or what was left of it. My mother- she would simply have a heart attack- and my brother. Don’t get me started on that. He’s the one who believes that anything other than male and female is wrong. Not to get me wrong- he’s entitled to his own opinion, but he’d never of understood. He never of even accepted it. There were certain things that I’d never be able to share with anyone of them. So it was especially hard for me to just wake up and be accepting of the fact that I was falling in love with my best friend. Things like that don't just happen growing up. So why was it happening now?
And I could see the look on his face before I even knocked on the door- that smug all knowing smile. Because he knew without a doubt that I could not stay away.
“I knew you’d come.” He stated to me, once my curiosity had gotten the better of me- and he stood looking at me from his doorway- the shirtless tattooed wonder that he is. I’d never taken the time to really examine his form before thime-ime- the swirls of tattooed flesh- pale and freckly beneath it’s covering. A lit cigarette hung loosely from his lips- smoking slightly.
“Look…” I said with a soft sigh, trying to collect my thoughts enough to actually say what I’d come to say. I had rehearsed it the entire way to his house- the perfect things to say. The perfect words. And standing there in front of him- my mind ft evt every single plan of attack. I was clueless. “I don’t know what’s going on with you…but I know that I’m…having a lot of conflicting..” I tried to start- making it as cut and dry as I possibly could. I suppose there was no right way to do it- I simply needed to pick up my skirt, grab my balls- and be a man about it. Too bad he beat me to the punch- he was obviously interested in what I was there for.
“Cut the crap- you wanna fuck or what?” He demanded. And believe me- I wanted to piss my pants once he’d said that. The words fell out of his mouth almost as if it were a requirement than an actual decision. I bit my lip nervously, afraid to answer with the wrong answer. Either way it was a loose loose situation, Admitting to it would more than likely make him laugh at me- and denying it would make me a liar. Because more than anything I just wanted to know what it was like, what the feelings from it would bring. “relax fucker I was kidding.” He snickered shoving me with one hand backwards. I laughed uncomfortably with a nod of my head- scratching the back of my head a bit perplexed. While I myself may have been easy to read- Tony Lovato most certainly was not. “Come on inside already…you’re letting flies in.” He instructed swatting at some of the winged insects flying around his head. And just like that I was shutting his thick wooden door behind myself- looking at the contents of his apartment. The giant NOFX poster that hung religiously above the fire place being the first thing to catch my eye- Tony always had had the best test in bands.
“give me just a minute.” He then told me while throwing up his pointer finger for emphasis before walking down the hallway that lead to his bedroom. That’s when I heard him start to mumble to someone else. Great- someone else was here with him. I felt myself turn seven shades of red- what an idiot I was thinking he was that type of person. The type to flirt and mean something by it. “Yeah that’s what I said girl- get your shit and get- something better came up.” He began to rant- and almost instantly I saw the figure of a taller scantily clad girl come running through the living room towards the front door- tears streaming down her face. “And don’t forget your purse!” He added with a snicker- while flinging the flimsy white object down the hallway at her- promptly smacking her in the back with it as she reached the door. What had I gotten myself into? “Now where were we..” He stated almost as if nothing had just happened.
“We’re you busy?” I questioned in regards to the female that he’d kicked to the curb- quite literally. He laughed sitting down on the couch- motioning for me to do the same. I was torn between doing as he requested and simply staying where I stood. This wasn’t so good an idea at all.
“That? Naa that was breakfast.” He informed me with a shrug of his bare shoulders. It use to be the comment would have elicited laughter from my part- but on this day it made me just smile unsure of myself. He obviously wasn’t so done with girls. So what would he even want to mess with me for?
“Benji. Lemme ask you somet.” H.” He then said- noticing I still was unable to communicate to him the things I’d been wanting so desperately to say. “Why’d you come all the way over here to tell me you love me- if you don’t have the nuts to?” He chuckled rather sure of himself. My mouth went dry- he sure was a cocky bastard. And he just gave me that million dollar Lovato grin, laying on that charm like I’d seen him doing so many times before.
“That’s…not what I came over to say..” I tried to assure him, but it was obvious that even I didn't believe myself.
“bullshit. That is bullshit.” He called out never raising his voice in the slightest. It was like he could play off my own weakness- gaining momentum with every faltered word.
“Tony this isn’t easy for me okay?” I sputtered trying not to come off to snappy- the last thing I wanted to do was offend him, after all It was true- I did want to tell him about my feelings. I just couldn’t bring myself to doing it. Call me a coward.
“Yeah- I see that in your eyes..your fighting a battle in that head of yours huh benj? Come on…why don't you just let me take your mind off of things for a while..?” He questioned in a voice that caused me to groan inwardly. The things that man could do to my body- just with his speech alone. And just like that I caved. He had some bizarre power over me from the very beginning. I guess that’s where the real fun started out. Him looking to me with those convincing- trusting eyes. Begging me to continue- and I couldn’t refuse.
“Whatever happens…you can’t tell anyone Tony..” I told him trying my best to sound stern, but he smiled assuringly, with a nod of his blonde head.
“Don’t worry Benji…you can trust me…”
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