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Cross My Heart and Hope to Die	By : krispers Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > New Kids On The Block Views: 1439 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of the New Kids on the Block. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Jordan seemed to fall immediately asleep as he fell fully clothed into bed.
The dream seemed to come in a cloud
He was back in the old neighborhood. It was hot. Him and Donnie were leaning against Donnie's house in their cutoffs yelling across the street to Melinda who was hanging out the laundry to dry. She was always a vision to Jordan. The red blanket billowed in the hot breeze as they taunted her. Just as she turned to yell something back a buzzing pulled Jordan out of the cloud.
As he jumped up from his sweaty bed, the only thing he could remember was a red blanked hanging on a line blowing in the breeze.
BBBBUUUUUZZZZZZZ!
He slapped at his clock knocking it to the floor.
What the hell time is it? He thought as he pressed a hand to his now pounding forehead. How much did I drink last night? He thought, glancing down at his sweat soaked clothes.
He fished the clock off the floor and moaned.
"7:05, great! Another sunny day" he said with a note of sarcasm as he kicked off his wet boots and socks.
He automatically flipped on the TV as he crossed to the bathroom.
He looked into the filthy mirror.
"Whey boy!" He looked rougher that he though he would. He popped three aspirin and downed a bottle of water behind them.
"That should take care of the drums in my head" he said to no one in particular.
He reached into the shower and turned on the hot water. As it heated up the pipes knocked and pinged
"Damn old building!" Jordan shouted as another wave of pounding ripped through his head.
He stepped into the scalding water. He closed his eyes and let the steamy water rush over the new lines in his face.
He needed to quit this, he knew it. Needed to quit the drinking, the brooding, he needed to get over her.
Jordan didn't realize how long he had been standing in the comforting heat when it began to go cold. He quickly soaped up and carelessly shampooed his hair. The water was icy now and he danced in it to rinse off.
He snatched his reused towel off is usual hook and wrapped up in it. Jordan walked over to the small bathroom window and wiped off the steam. Ice was caked on the panes.
"Damn!" the roads would be a mess and he wanted to get some long overdue work in today.
He walked back into the bedroom and slid on some old jeans and a ragged sweater. He had finally made up his mind. He was going to do it, it was just a matter of how long it was take him. He was finally going to get off his good for nothing ass and get back into the real world.
Jordan made some terrible coffee and burnt his toast while he watched the Saturday morning news.
The over made up female reporter droned on, standing in front of what looked to be the shipping docks downtown.
"As the icy morning dawned, two police man found what appears to be the remains of a body washed up at the docks during the ice storm. It has not yet been identified and the cause of death is unknown at this time."
He tuned her out as he snatched his cell phone off the end table, his heart racing in his chest.
One ring, two, three. "Come on you bastard," Jordan said under his breath.
"You mutherfucking son of a bitch," Donnie yelled hoarsely and Jordan's tightened chest loosened.
"Why the fuck are you calling me at 7:45 in the damn morning?" He didn't give time for an answer and went thunderously on "you know where I was last night, give me some peace why don't ya" Donnie trailed off grumpily
"Sorry, I caught the news this morning and they pulled a corpse out of the river and I was just making sure I didn't need to go down for identification" Jordan replied sarcastically
"Fuck off You're the one who walked me from the cab to my apartment dumb ass" Donnie said in a not so amused laugh
"Jesus, I don't even remember that" Jordan stated shaking his head
"Well, I can see I shouldn't trust you to care for my drunk ass in the future" Donnie smirked back accusingly
"Could be worse dick head, you could be the corpse" Jordan replied aggatatedly
"Jesus Christ, now that your mother hen instincts are satisfied can I have some sleep please?" Donnie said already sounding half asleep
"Do you want me to come over and tuck you in?" Jordan piped with a motherly cheer to his voice
"Fuck off!" Donnie mumbled
"Oh I just feel the love," Jordan replied and he hung up
Jordan could still smell the toast he had burned. What a fucking moron he thought as he put his cell on charge.
He grabbed his coffee and winced when he took another sip. Man this really sucked he thought. The coffee and what he was about to do, he revised.
He began pacing the floor in front of the unopened door in his apartment. The stock reports now coming out through the TV.
This is the door that had sworn to himself seven months ago he would never open. Never again. The padlock seemed to glow with anticipation. Jordan thought it would feel hot to touch it.
Why do this now? He kept thinking to himself. How would reliving all of his numerous skeletons really help? He should just forget it. But for some reason, which he didn't understand, he felt drawn to that office.
At 8:45 he finally set his mind to do it. Jordan went to the junk drawer in the kitchen and took out the keys. He had almost hoped they wouldn't be there, somehow gotten lost forever. The fact that they were exactly where he had placed them those tumultuous months ago seemed to spur his conviction onward. It was a matter of fate now. And you could fight fate that was something he had learned the hard way.
His hands were shaking as he reached for the lock. Surprisingly it wasn't hot to the touch. He unbolted it carefully and slid it from the catch. Jordan slowly pushed open the door and it seemed to crack apart as if it were a sealed entrance to a tomb. He stood in the doorway as it swung open.
Just like he left it. Well, what he could see in the semi darkness, looked the same. The curtains across the windows let in little light. Jordan stood in the doorway for what seemed an eternity. He felt like a boulder was holding him in place and he would be cursed if he breeched the entrance.
Jordan finally raised his shaking had toward the light switch. When he flipped it on the lights flooded the darkened room. He thought for a second that it wouldn't work. This wouldn't help him, just make it worse. But he scanned the room for something to peak his curiosity.
Picture frames were stacked on the desk beside a full shredder. Platinum and Gold record plaques hung dustily on the walls. The built in glass cases seemed to sparkle ominously through a thick film of dirt and neglect. He could see all the awards mementos and gifts he had acquired throughout the many years.
He slowly walked in as if he were walking on eggshells.
The walls were filled with framed high gloss posters and concert banners from all over the world.
He felt his head swim. His ears were ringing like he had just stepped back on stage.
He glanced over to the corner. There his mic stand stood just as he had left it. He smirked. He had kept it the night of their last show….together. He had known that that night was the last…..and it would never be the same again - ever. Donnie had cracked a joke before they had stormed on stage…..he had known too. They were back stage and just before the announcement he glanced around at them all and said, well boys lets go out in a blaze of glory. And God they did…….
He remember all to well the feeling in the pit of his stomach as he took that last bow. He absently ran his had down the mic. For some reason he snatched it off the stand and spun around. A smile came across his face. That old feeling came back so easily he thought. He once again recaptured his fame after that faithful night. He took the mic, not wanting to put it down just yet and walked down to the last platinum album plaque. He felt warm inside as he looked upon his most prized possession. His greatest accomplishment. He had done it himself. Well, he added as a side note, He had help but this was a prize he didn't have to split five ways. Jordan walked behind his stately, organized desk. He took the full bag out of the shredder and sat it out beside the door with out a glance inside. Time to take out the trash he thought and almost laughed out loud. He walked back in and qued up the CD player. God it was covered in dust. Jordan jumped when he heard his voice belting out at him. He adjusted the volume and decided to let it play. He went into the kitchen and grabbed some cleaning supplies. He came back into his newly reclaimed sanctuary and almost broke out dancing when one of his old favorites came on. After scrubbing and dusting for what seemed like hours. He felt hot, sweaty and filled to bursting with newly reclaimed memories. Jordan noticed that he had progressed from humming, to mumbling, and to full out singing and throwing in some dance moves as he cleaned.
That could be the reason he didn't hear Jonathan's repeated knocking on his door.
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Cross My Heart and Hope to Die