When You Go | By : poe Category: My Chemical Romance > General Views: 2385 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of My Chemical Romance. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Disclaimer: I don't know anyone from mcr and i didn't ask if i could write this story about them either. ha.
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She and Frank talked the entire time it took to get to their house. He asked her about her family, and what she did, and what kind of music she liked. Again, she found herself losing track of time while talking with him, and was surprised to find that they had reached the house already.
"Fuck, I really need to pay better attention to the time when I'm talking!"
"No, it's cool. You're so easy to talk to, it's actually really a good thing!" Frank replied.
She felt her face flush, thankful, once again, that it was dark outside. No one seemed to notice and she just kept walking behind the group until they got to the front door.
Inside she found what she expected: a typical bachelor's house. There were shoes and jackets all over the hallway instead of in the closet; take-out cartons and pizza boxes lay strewn haphazardly around the floor; dishes piled high in the sink. Yeah, there are definitely 5 guys living here.
"Would you like the grand tour, Luca?" Gerard asked, sweeping his arm out dramatically. She nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes, please! I would love to see what a shambles the rest of your house is in!" Everyone started laughing, and Gerard made a face like he had just been sucker punched, but couldn't hold it for long, and started laughing with the rest of the guys.
"Okay, you guys go ahead, I've seen it all already. I'll just hang out with the guys until you're done." Marina waved them off, and started towards the stairs.
"Yeah, we'll be in the basement, probably playing videogames or something..." Frank trailed off as he too started descending the stairs.
The rest of the gang followed suit until Gerard and Luca were standing awkward and alone in the entryway. She realized she still had her shoes and jacket on, and started taking them off. "Where do you want me to put my stuff?" she asked.
"Oh, uh, if you want, you can hang your coat in the closet. Or, here, I'll do that for you."
He moved to take it from her, and his hand brushed against hers. She pulled away jerkily, "Um...that's okay, i've got it." She hung up her brown coat and turned to him expectantly, as he stood watching her.
"Well?" She urged.
"Oh, right! The tour! Okay, let's get going then, shall we?" He held out his arm, intending for her to take it as an escort, and after a moments hesitation, and against her better judgement, she finally did. It's just his arm, Nothing wrong with an escort. This doesn't mean anything. She told herself.
As he showed her the way, she was acutely aware of the heat of him against her side. His arm flexed and relaxed every once in a while, and it sent little shocks through her arm. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.... He lead her through the living room, kitchen and dining room, all of which were very apparently lived in. Mikey and Bob both lived on the main floor, and he briefly opened their doors to show her the insides. They went upstairs, and he showed her the bathroom, Ray's room, Frank's room, and the last room on the top floor, his own.
He pushed open the door, and she stood in the doorway, bending in to see better.
"Here," he said, and flicked on the lightswitch, illuminating his room. She immediately drew in a loud breath. All over his walls were pictures, some photographed, some drawn, of everything imaginable. She leaned in further to get a better look. He pushed her gently in the small of her back, urging her to go in the door, but she planted her feet.
"It's okay, you can go in," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice.
She walked into the center of the room and marvelled at what she saw. He had paintings of scantily-dressed women and impossibly-muscled men, drawings of the band and bloody cadavers, and photographs of his family and friends. But one face kept popping up. Almost every other picture, real, painted or drawn, was of one girl with long dark hair, pale skin and lips surrounding vampiric teeth. Sometimes she was just smiling, but mostly she was smiling while eating something, a heart, or another person, the blood flowing through her teeth and down her chin. She was beautiful, even when she looked positively evil.
"Gerard, who's that girl?" Luca asked quietly. "She seems to be some sort of muse or something for you. She's in almost every picture..." she trailed off as she turned around to see his face grow even more pale.
"That was Beth." he paused for a long moment, seemingly going into another world as he looked around his room. She waited patiently not wanting him to feel like she was pressuring him, but not wanting him to stop either. He finally continued.
"We dated a while ago.....she hated it when i drew pictures of her, but now that we've broken up, it seems like that's all i can do....." He let the silence ring in the room for a minute. She stepped closer to him, and moved her arm up to his shoulder, rubbing it gently. He looked at her appreciatively. "You know, she ripped out my heart..... fucked me up irreversibly. That's what those are all about. It's like she did it and smiled....I loved her, right?" She let him talk without saying a word. "I loved her, but she was killing me........and it's not like I'm not over it, you know. I mean, I guess I'll probably always feel something for her, but it's not the same as love..." he trailed off and looked down at her smiling, in spite of himself, she thought. "But it's okay. Because of her, i have this band, and the songs I've written post-Beth are better than ever." She smiled back at him, admiring that quality she saw in his eyes that she just couldn't put her finger on.
"Gerard, that's such a beautiful way to look at things. I wish that I could let go as easily." She laughed to herself, and moved to sit down on the corner of his bed. "Isn't it hard to have to look at these every day though?"
He smiled again. "Not really. I mean, the way she looked in real life, I sort of dramatized things, you know? Creative licence, if you will. Besides, she was beautiful, and beauty is always easy to look at." He stopped, his eyes searching hers. "Even if you can't touch it." he said quietly. Oh God, if you only knew she thought. How much do I want him to lean over and kiss me right now...He opened his mouth as if to say something, but then seemed to think better of it, and stopped.
"We'd better get downstairs," he said instead, "Everyone will be wondering where we went!"
They made their way downstairs to find Mikey and Frank in a heated game of MarioKart, being cheered on by Marina, Ray and Bob.
"You guys ready to party or what?!" Gerard yelled as they got to the bottom of the staircase. Just at that moment, Mikey crossed the finish line, beating Frank, elliciting a cheer from Bob and Ray, and a boo from Marina. Frank threw the controller on the floor, and pretended to be pissed off.
"You cheated you know!" he accused Mikey.
"Yeah, you're just pissed because you're a pansy!" Mikey replied in a singsong voice. Frank leaped at him, and started wrestling him to the ground. Marina came over to Luca while Bob and Ray urged Mikey and Frank to fight to the death.
"So, how was the tour?" She asked smiling.
"Good," they both said at the same time, and then started laughing. "It was good. This is a really nice house," Luca continued.
"Well, it would be even nicer if we could do something, children?" Gerard said, directing his last comment towards Mikey and Frank. They both froze, Mikey bent over, with his arms around Frank's waist, and Frank with Mikey in a deathgrip headlock. "Seriously guys, are you done?!" Gerard laughed.
"Fine," Mikey said as Frank let him up. "Truce." He shook Frank's hand.
"Truce. But just so you know, I'm going to kick your ass next time!" Mikey just laughed and shook his head.
"So," Gerard started. "Movie or what guys?"
There was a low rumble amongst everyone as they all said something at once. Gerard piped up again. "One at a time, what should we do?"
Frank went first. "Let's watch Hellraiser!" Marina groaned
"Not again Frank!"
"Yeah, another night dude." Frank stuck out his lip in a pout, and crossed his arms.
"Any other ideas?" Gerard looked around the room to see if anyone else had a plan. No one looked like they did. "Luca, how about you? What do you feel like doing?"
She looked at him surprised. "Um, I don't know.......it's your guys' house! I don't really care. I'm up for anything!"
"Okay, Marina?"
She beamed at him. "How about King's Cup? We've got lots of booze!" This garnered a cheer from the rest of the guys, and Gerard laughed.
"Okay, King's Cup it is! Luca, you in?"
"Oh, yeah sure, why not?" oh yes, just what I need, to get drunk around Gerard....
They all went upstairs to the kitchen. The guys went about gathering the necessary materials for the game, and Marina and Luca sat down at the table. They came back with armloads of bottles, a large bowl and a deck of cards. They put the bowl in the center of the table, and spread the cards around it. They each picked their drink of choice and the set of rules, and the game began.
It became apparent very quickly that the guys were ganging up on the girls, especially Luca. Every drink card they pulled went straight to her, or her and Marina. She was becoming intoxicated at a rapid rate, and by the third game, she decided she needed to take a breather.
"Okay, since you guys are all being mean and trying to get me drunk, I think that I need a smoke break." She stood up and wobbled a bit, sticking her arms out to balance herself. They all clapped when she managed to get away from the table still upright. Gerard stood up with her.
"Mind if I come too?" he asked, "I could definitely use a cigarette!"
He helped her with her jacket, and lead her outside, occasionally acting as a balancing pole for her. The cool air felt more than refreshing, and she sat down on the top of the steps, pulling out her pack of cigarettes and promptly lighting one. Gerard followed suit, and they both sat in silence puffing away for a few minutes. Finally Gerard spoke. "Um, I meant to say thanks back there, you know, for listening to all my girly bullshit. I didn't mean to open up like that. ..I mean, we hardly know each other....." he turned to look at her. Why, why, why she lamented. His eyes are just........
"Oh, don't worry about that Gerard! I don't, like, think you're a pussy because you have feelings. It's totally fine. Actually, I feel honoured that you would open up to me like that. I feel like I understand a little bit more of the enigma of Gerard Way." He laughed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He narrowed his eyes, mocking offence.
"Well, you're just....I don't know......." she took a drag from her smoke. "You've got this whole vulnerable-yet-mysterious thing going on......you're incredibly intruiging.......it's hard to place you."
"Do I need to be placed?" He cocked his eyebrow at her, as he flicked his finished cigarette into the snow.
"Well, it's just that you aren't like any other guy I've ever met. You are, like, nice. But there's still something dangerous about you. I mean, when most guys would have already, you know, like hit on me or tried to kiss me, or whatever, you're talking to me, telling me about yourself...but I still get this feeling that you could rip me to shreds at any moment......" she trailed off looking into his eyes. His cheeks had a slight reddish tinge to them, and the end of his nose was pink. He looked so.....adorable...
He didn't speak for a long while, and when he did, his voice was deep and quiet. "How do you know that's not what I've been thinking about all night?" She thought surely he was joking, and she waited for him to crack. But the look in his eyes and the way his lips parted to draw breath told her that this was no joke.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..... "Gerard, come on. That's not funny. You know I'm kind of drunk right now, and you shouldn't tease me!" She pushed at his shoulder, and he grabbed her arms around her wrist causing her to drop her cigarette. His touch sent electric shocks all through her body, heating her flesh where it made contact with his. He moved his face so it was just barely inches from hers, and she could smell the smoke on his breath and each breath they took clouded up and floated in front of them, making him appear to be enshrouded in a fog.
"I promise you, I am not teasing." he held her gaze, as if waiting to see if she would pull away. But she didn't. Alarm bells were ringing in her head, and she knew that this had already gone WAY PAST anywhere it should have been. But all she could think about was the way his eyes burned right into her soul, and the feel of his hands against her flesh, and what it would feel like to have his mouth on hers.....
And then it was. He pressed against her, softly at first, then with more and more intensity, his tongue pushing past her lips and teeth to taste the softness of her mouth. She opened wider, sucking his tongue as deep into her as it would go, gently nibbling on his lower lip. Her arms went up around his neck unbidden, and his hands went to her waist, pulling her small form as tightly as he could against his own. She felt as though her lungs would burst from lack of air, but if she stopped kissing him she was worried that she would burst.
His hands moved down her thighs, and gripping them tightly he pulled her on top of him so that she was stradling his hips. She let out a surprised gasp against his lips at how hard he was, how acutely she could feel it pressing into her most intimate parts. He brought his hands up to twine them into her short blonde hair, tugging at it until her head was leaned back and he could access her soft neck. He trailed slow, sucking kisses down her jawline all the way to her collarbone, biting hard at the soft flesh on the curve of her clavicle. Her eyes rolled back at the sensation. She had never felt this out of control, had never felt this wild, inundated lust pulsing through her veins. She wanted him, and she wanted him at that instant. She pulled his face back up to mash his lips against hers again, and whimpered when his hands moved down to her breasts. He gently squeezed her already peaked nipples, teasing them between a thumb and forefinger. Her body felt flush, despite the cold December air. Oh God, I'm losing control....
Dimly, from the back of her mind, she thought something was off. How could it be though? This was the most right she had ever felt...... but there was a reason why this was wrong. And then suddenly that reason flooded her mind like a wet blanket flopping on a fire. She pushed herself away from his embrace, turning her head so she wasn't facing him. He leaned in to kiss her again, but she shied away. Tell him. She knew it was cruel to just turn it off like that, but did she dare tell him about Marina?
"Gerard, I'm really sorry.....I can't do this....." Her eyes fell to the ground.
He didn't say anything at first, he just sat there still with her on his lap. She slowly stood up to sit beside him, looking to the side, unable to make eye contact with him.
"Can I know why?" He asked quietly. She sat still for moment and then shook her head slowly. "Oh, God! I'm such an idiot......You have a boyfriend or something, don't you? I didn't even think to ask.......Fuck!"
"No, Gerard, that's not it." She felt awful. She didn't want him to think that she didn't like him, because that wasn't the case at all. It should have been, but.... "I don't have a boyfriend."
"Then why, Luca? Please, just tell me." His voice was quiet, pleading.
"Look, you aren't mine to pick, okay? I have no right to just waltz in here and take you when there may be other people who have, like, first dibs, you know?"
"So you can't do this because someone else likes me?" She nodded. He pulled her shoulders until she faced him, and lifted her chin up so that she was looking him straight in the eye. "Luca, tell me who."
She shook her head no.
"Please, tell me?"
"Gerard, I can't! Don't you get it? If I could, I would, but I can't do it!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's me." Gerard looked at Luca, and she looked back at him. They both turned as one to find Marina standing in the darkness of the doorframe.
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okay. that's all you get for free!!!! ha ha ha! just so you know, i have finished this story, but if you want to read more, you have to let me know, or else i won't update! i need feedback! we all like to know that people actually read our stuff, so review!!!!! :P
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