Wrong is Relative

Disclaimer: I think you've figured it out by now that I don't own these carved Adonis figures.

Wrong is Relative
Part Four

I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmares, devil's lair

I stare at the driveway long after Gerard has left, finally shaking my head and going to the living room where I light another cigarette. I know I told him I didn't mind if anyone found out, but now that someone has I'm thinking completely the opposite. They're going to think Gerard tricked me into doing it. They'll think Gerard's sick. And even if I can convince them it wasn't like that and I wanted to . . . well, then we're both sick and everything goes to hell.

Everything's over.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, smoking my fifth cigarette when there's a knock on the door. Three guesses who. "Come in!" I call, not even raising my eyes when my best friend walks in.

He sets the box of journals down on the counter and pulls out the chair across from me, drumming his fingers on the table. It's quiet for a minute. He talks first. "So . . ."

"Gerard never forced me into anything." I say quickly. I don't even want to get into that shit if I can help it.

"Mikey--"

"He didn't." I snap, looking up at him for the first time. "Gerard would never force me into anything. You know that."

He nods. "I do know." he says calmly.

"Wh-What?"

"I know Gerard didn't force you into anything." Frankie says. "I mean, he wouldn't, like you said. I mean, yeah, I would say incest is wrong, but there's exceptions to every rule, right?"

"I don't get what you're saying." I think I do, but I must have heard wrong. There's no way he'd be okay with this.

"If it were anyone but you and Gerard . . ." Frankie shrugs. "I mean, I don't understand, but . . . I guess I'm fine with it."

"You are?" My jaw may hve dropped. I know my eyes are so fucking wide behind my glasses. I feel like the universe has stopped moving.

"Yeah, I mean, whatever, you know? I don't actually get why I'm so cool with this." he admits. "I guess it's you and Gerard. It actually makes sense in a weird sort of way."

*

"He said he didn't care?" Gerard asks for the third time. "Was he lying?"

"I don't think so." I say. "I mean, he must have gotten really good at lying to me all of a sudden. And he said it was weird. It's not like he was all hugs and saying 'I understand' like when I came out. Yeah, he meant it."

"But . . . that doesn't make any sense." Gerard says. "How could he be fine with it?"

I frown. "Gee, why does everyone have to be so bad? Isn't it good that he's okay with it? Why are you so convinced everyone will hate us? Do you want them to hate us?"

"Of course not." he says. "It's just . . . I thought it was wrong because everyone told me it was wrong. I just don't understand why anyone would accept it without time, you know?"

I bite the inside of my cheek. "You want it to be us against the world, Gee."

He looks at me in shock and I know I've hit the nail on the head. "N-No."

"Yes." I say. "You want it to be us versus them. Just admit it and then we can get to why."

"It's just that . . . it always was us versus them." he says. "It's not bad that Frankie's okay with it. That's good. I just don't want things to change."

"I do." I say softly. "I want them to change. I want to be able to tell people how much I love you. I don't like it being our dirty little secret."

He looks guilty then. "I'm sorry. I know that's always bugged you. It bugs me, too. I just thought that if anyone knew they'd hate us for it."

"I'm sure some people will. I'm not saying we should rent a billboard and tell the world, but maybe we could tell the guys."

Gerard nods, but he doesn't look happy. I know he's terrified. I'm scared, too, but I'm so sick of this fucking secret. I hate the skeletons hiding in our closet. I hate the fact that there are only so many times you can crawl into bed with your brother on tour before eyebrows start to raise. I hate so many things about it and I just wish some of them could change.

*

He kisses me on the stairs on the way up to our room. "I'm sorry." he says. "For being so scared about all this."

I smile and press him against the wall in the hallway, my lips finding the pulse in his neck quickly. When I pull my mouth from his skin, I stare at him. "It's nothing to apologize for."

*

Gerard usually tops, but occasionally I get lucky (no pun intended). This is one of those times. We scramble out of our clothes at top speed without ever making a move toward the bedroom. I press him back against the wall and wrap my hand around his erection, causing him to moan. He's so beautiful with his eyes close, those sounds coming out of his throat.

While my left hand is furiously causing those moans to increase, my right hand is fumbling with the doorknob closest to us, which happens to be the laundry room. My hand leaves him, causing his eyes to fly open. I drag him into the room without a word and push him back on one of the many piles of clothes on the floor. These ones are clean I think and they're going to have to be washed again.

I straddle his waist and my lips find his again, my fingers softly running up and down his sides causing him to shiver. I love seeing him like this and I love knowing he's doing it because of me. I plant kisses to his neck, to his shoulders, to his collarbone as his hands come up and thread through my hair. "Mikey." he half whispers, half moans.

"Yes?" I ask, a nasty little smile on my lips.

"Fuck me?" I know he means it to come out as a demand, but I just bit down on his neck and that turns it into a question. Maybe it's Gerard's thing with vampires, but that's one of his kinky turn ons.

"Awww . . . you're so cute." I whisper against his neck. "But you forgot the magic word."

"Please?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely." I love the look in his eyes when his 'little brother' is the one dominating him. It's like he doesn't want to admit it, but he loves it.

I lick a finger and slip it inside of him, giggling against his neck when he moans. I slowly move it in and out, surpressing more giggles, before I add another finger. I scissor my fingers inside of him, biting my lip as he screams obscenities. I always laugh when Gee acts like a whore. I don't know why.

Then I'm up. "Don't you fucking move." I say. A minute later I'm back and I push inside of him in one motion, without a word. He gasps, but I know that he's getting off on the pain. It's not that bad. We've been doing this for so long. Sometims I think he could fuck with without lube or preparation and it wouldn't hurt.

"Mikey . . ." His hands reach up and thread through my hair as I slowly start to move inside of him. My pace quickens within minutes and he's moaning, screaming my name, screaming obscenities, and just flat out screaming.

Then he tenses up and I feel him come, feel the stickiness of him and that's enough to send me over the edge. I collapse next to him after and kiss his neck one more time. "I love you."

"Love you, too." he murmurs, eyes closed. He gets so fucking tired after an orgasm. I'm about ready to pull him up by his hand so we don't fall asleep in the fucking laundry room, when he turns and kisses me.

"Mikey?"

"Hmmm?"

"I'm glad it's not a secret anymore."

Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
the prey among the wolves.

~~~FINISHED~~~

Yeah, yeah. I know, you all hate me. But I think that's a good ending. I like knowing there's finality but not such concrete finality. It's good to wonder, I think. Yay. My first finished Waycest fic!

R&R???