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From Friendship to Love	By : Totchichan Category: > Toshiya/Kyo Views: 1815 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Disclaimer: I do not own them…blablablablablabla…
Pairing: Well I think you already understand it, don’t you?
Note: Chapter 4! I can’t believe! This is the first time I wrote something so long and that I still want to write!! Ne Thanks a lot to Toshide and Cassie, who still review the new chapters! *hugs you*

Chapter 4.
“Ohayo!” Toshiya greeted the other 3 in the studio happily. Die greet them too, both having a big smile on their face. The others needed less then a second to understand what have happen between the two. Two happy person that caused two to be sad.
“Dai-chan…” started Toshiya, but Die understood immediately what his bpyfriend was about to say and nodded.
“Ne, Kaokao, Shin-shin………Kyo……we have something to say!” the others stared at him waiting.
“We are together!” completed Die hugging Toshiya from the back. Shinya clapped his hands and ran to hug Toshiya.
“That’s great!!!” exclaimed the drummer.
“I’m happy for you guys!” said Kaoru, a false smile on his face. Kyo ignored everything, he was still too angry with Toshiya for the previous night.
“But that does not mean that we are not going to practice, so come on! Practice starts now!” Toshiya pouted a bit and complained.
“Damn, I wish we had a more sensible leader…” Kaoru smirked and answered him,
“Totchi I AM a sensible leader, I was about to say that you’re gonna stay here all the afternoon, but I’m not going to ask you, so I am sensible!” Toshiya looked at the leader with such a fantastic stunned face that caused Kaoru to break into laughter. Toshiya pouted when also his boyfriend started to laugh at him.
“Mou Dai-chan! You’re not supposed to laugh at me, you know?”
“Totchi… It’s Kaoru we are talking here! Since when did you know him? You should know that at the end he is the one that always win!!! And he is making fun of you in such a great way!!” (Kaoru in fact didn’t even think of practice in the afternoon)
“You know him more than me! He is your best friend! As I ..- then he realize that he nearly say the wrong thing and continued - as I am not!”
“He is not my best friend, you know that…- replied softly, and whispered then so softly that only Toshiya hear it- not anymore…”
Die and Toshiya stayed together six months. But nothing happen between the two, they never had sex or anything. They are just happy being together and kissed sometimes. Die said to Toshiya that he wanted to wait until he is ready and trust Die more.
“Dai-chan?”
“Mh?”
“Are you…are you not bored of being with me?” Asked Toshiya, staring with much interest at his shoes. Die took his head and forced him gently to look at him.
“Where does this come from?”
“Well…I know that you love me…but…who is going to wait six months without having …you know…sex…It’s clear that you don’t want to do it with me because you’re bored of me…”
Die sighed, “Totchi, listen carefully, please! I don’t care if I have to wait a month, 2 , 9 or 10 years! I love you! I can wait until you’re ready, I can, really!”
“But Dai-chan…I am ready! I trust you, really! But it’s you that always turn me down whenever I try to let you understand that I’m ready…”
“Totchi, you’re not ready, you’re forcing yourself because you think that I’m tired of you!”
“But Dai-chan, don’t you see? It’s you the one that is not ready! You’re only finding excuses! And you surely do not trust neither me, or yourself…You don’t trust me or else you’d believe me…”
“Totchi, you’re not the only one that is afraid of regrets…” Toshiya stood up and kissed Die gently on the lips.
“I’ll not regret anything, trust me as I trust you, I’m going to bed now, think about what I have said you…Oyasumi…” He left the guitarist alone. Toshiya lied on the bed, hugging the pillow. ‘It’s only my love for you. It’s different…if only my love for him cease…’ After some minutes Die entered in the room and lied on the bed too, hugging the bassist.
“You are right, maybe I’m the one not ready…but Totchi, don’t lie me…I’m sure that you love me…but not as a lover…do you? I’m really afraid to loose you, and I’m afraid of regrets too…You seem ok to not have sex and I am too, that’s why I never asked you…”
“I don’t understand the first part…” said Toshiya, knowing perfectly well that Die was right.
“Totchi, I know you love me, and I love you…but don’t you think that our love is different from what is called real love?”
“You’re making me confused…”
“Ok…You do know that Kaoru and I were best friends before, don’t you? - Toshiya nodded - well we’re not anymore because something happen…We had sex once…and …he regreted it…That’s why we are not friends anymore…I love you Totchi, I really do…but I’m sure that my love for Kaoru is different from the one that I feel for you…”
“Die, are you saying me that you are with me because Kaoru regreted having sex with you?” Toshiya freed himself from the hug, trembling he stared at the other.
“Totchi I DO love you! But ask yourself why you ask me if I’m bored with you, and why now, why you never ask me to have sex?”
“I didn’t want to ruin everything…”
“That’s the point Totchi! If we love each other, I mean real love, why would you have been afraid of ruining everything? If it’s real love what we feel for each other, don’t you think that sex would come naturally? Why, then, were you afraid to ruin everything?” Toshiya thought about it a bit.
“I don’t know…”
“Because you love me as a best friend.” concluded Die. Toshiya looked at him, thinking.
“Why then if it’s like that I need your kisses?”
“Because you’re a lonely person…You need to feel loved!”
“Are you going to dump me? Please don’t do it, I can’t stand to loose my only f…” He stopped. Die smiled and hugged him.
“Friend…not lover! Totchi, I’m not going to dump you, if you don’t want to, because I really love you, and I want you to be happy, and if it’s enough being with me for you I’m ok with this too! Let’s sleep now, you’re tired…”
“I…I…want to see a bit of television, I’m coming later…” He left the room and sat on the couch. He thought about what happened so far tonight. ‘ I only hurt him, the only thing I’m able to do is to hurt my only friend…and being hated…Kaoru surely hates me now…Kyo hates me too…why me? Why me…’
The next morning Die found Toshiya, crying softly in his sleep and cursed himself for having caused that.
“Totchi…Totchi…Wake up…come on…” Die said, shaking him gently. Toshiya purred in his sleep, but soon he woke up anyway.
“Oh…ohayo Dai-chan!” Toshiya said with a smile. Die ruffled his hair gently, and whispered.
“Come on, get ready, we have practice in half an hour…”
In this period the band was working on a new album. And are in this period that songs such as Mushi and Undecided born. Kyo was so depressed of the relationship between Toshiya and Die, that many times he decided to just stop his life. But his behaviour with Toshiya wasn’t the best. They always quarreled about practically everything.
“This is shit, I don’t want that. You’ll ruin my beautiful song with that music of shit!”
“Your words are shit, not my music asshole! And don’t you dare say that of my music again!”
“You’re the asshole! You want to put that solo of yours only because you want to be more important than the others!”
“You do not complain when it’s Kaoru, or Die that put a solo in their music! And I do the same!”
“Yeah, but you see they are capable of writing music, you are not!” replied Kyo screaming icily and coldly at Toshiya. Toshiya felt tears in his eyes. Die hugged him avoiding him from killing Kyo, while Kaoru grabbed Kyo and took him in another room.
“Totchi, calm yourself please!”

“I hate him, I hate him, he is always mean to me! Why?? What I have done???” cried Toshiya in Die’s warm embrace.

“Totchi, what happen between the two of you, tell me onegai! I can help you!”
“No you can’t Die, you can’t change his mind!” Toshiya was shaking with his sobs. Die understood finally.
“He was the one that regreted, wasn’t he?” Die asked gently. Toshiya nodded.
“Like you and Kaoru, we had sex, I was the happiest person in the world, but then he said that it was all a mistake…”
“He is the one that you love, isn’t he?”
“Yeah I love him so much that I feel disgusted with myself because, even if I am with you I love him in the very same way as before! I love him so much that if he would ask me to die, I’ll kill myself because all I want is for him to be happy.”
“There’s no need to kill yourself or feeling disgusted, because I have that feeling too…Totchi…let’s break up, we are still best friend…”
“Die, you don’t hate me because I do not love you in that way? I mean real love…”
“No Totchi, I do not hate you, and you? You hate me because of the same reason?” Toshiya shook his head, wiping the tears that were still falling from his eyes. Meanwhile in the other room…
“Kyo, tell me! What happened between you and Toshiya?”
“I’m not going to tell you!”
“You’re going to! I never asked you before because it didn’t affect the band, and I hoped that you solved your problems, but now it’s enough, tell me!”
“Ok, I’ll tell you but you have to tell me what happened between you and Die, why aren’t you best friends anymore! Ok?” Kaoru looked at Kyo, he didn’t forget it…damn that vocalist…
“Ok, start!”
“Ok…We had sex, and then I said to him that I regreted it! Ok?”
“You what?”

“I told him that I regreted it! Ok? I didn’t mean to have sex with him, I mean I love him, but he doesn’t love me…So I said that before he decide to tell me…and I think that I hurt his ego…Your turn..”
“Same thing…It happen the same thing…Ne…Mushi and Undecided…Is that the thing that made you write them?”
“Yeah…”
“Can I write the music of Mushi?” asked the leader
“You know that you can, don’t ask me… Die asked me about Undecided…”
“Come on, let’s go home now…I do not feel like practicing today…And Shinya is ill anyway…” said Kaoru. And they went back in the other room. Toshiya was still crying in Die’s arms. Kyo felt like his heart was being broken in 10000 parts. He approached Toshiya and Die and…
“Ano…I…I am …I am sorry…I…I didn’t mean…to say that things…Your music is…good…really…” Kyo asked for forgiveness for the first time in his life. He was blushing like mad when he talked and clearly looking everywhere but Toshiya’s eyes. Toshiya looked at him, stunned. Kyo saying that he is sorry??? Has the world became crazy or what?
“Accepted…” Toshiya replied with a smile. But immediately fade when he saw Kyo’s face.
“Oh my god, you really believe it??? You’re such a fool!!! Ahahahahah!!! You’re music is and will be forever shit!” after that he left. Toshiya starts trembling again.
Tbc…
So…what happen to Kyo? Why he said that thing??? If you want to know keep reading my ff!! XP How do you think it is, anyway? Still interesting? Hope yes…
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- 5
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From Friendship to Love