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Crimson blue	By : weelow Category: Dir en grey > General Views: 1685 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Dir en grey. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
Notes: What to say? The chapter title says it all. So, some changes are coming. Read.

Crimson blue

Chapter 4: This can’t go on anymore.

Kyo had sat on the other side of Die and looked terrible.
Kisaki had been somewhere, no-one had seen him for a while and Kaoru had locked himself up in his home. The rest of the La:Sadie’s had been sitting in a restaurant wondering dark thoughts.
Shinya had been hanging his head and not touching nor his food or his drink. If Die remembered correctly the drummer had not said a whole sentence since they were forced to listen Kisaki’s yelling to Kaoru.
“You should eat something”, he had said softly but it had no effect.

Kyo who was not eavesdropping with him and Shinya had been told about happenings with same kind of soft-ness in voice.
Die had been fearing how little blonde would react and for a good reason. Somehow Kyo’s sparkling eyes had become mat like the lack of will of life would have been taking it’s toll with his body.
If he’d only known how, Die would have cure Kyo right in this second. Because it was becoming clearer and clearer every second what Kaoru had said to him in the bar.
La:Sadie’s’ era was over, finito, caput. Their inner conflicts had press it to this. Kyo was lost somewhere be-tween the thread of jealousy, anger and revenge. The loudest screaming louder had made the silent members more silent. No lyrics, no La:Sadie’s.
There was no sense anymore with anything. They would need a miracle to survive.

“Well hi there! This is quite an coincidence. Do you remember me?”
Die had rose his head and saw a familiar blue jacked fellow. His name was Hara Toshimasa also known as Toshiya.
“Hello nice to see you again”, Die had greeted and felt pleased that he got something else to wonder.
He had got up and introduced the rest of the party to grinning Toshiya. Shinya had nodded and Kyo didn’t even rose his head.
Die had smiled apologizing to a little confused Toshiya and whispered:
“Sorry for these guys. They are very lovable when you get to know them. They are just a bit…mixed up.”
Toshiya had looked first at Die and then at two sad-faced boy in front of him. His lips had turned into sweet smile and he had sat between Shinya and Kyo.
It looked like he was there to stay.

*

And now, after a week, Toshiya sat there in their table, smiling and teasing Kyo.
Their singer was like an whole another person. Still Kyo’s eyes were a bit shady and once in a while he looked little confused and blushed when Toshiya stroked his cheek and told him that he was a true treasure, but he smiled and even answered when some-one asked something.
Die felt pleased about the situation. Toshiya had made them all relaxed.
Shinya had been first very passive like always but when Toshiya had mentioned that he had just managed to pass a driver’s licence drummers eyes had started to glimmer.
And so they had found out that Shinya had thought about taking a driver’s test also. You always learn new things, Die had thought and laughed.

Even Kaoru had let them in when Die and Toshiya had appeared behind his door. They had stayed only for a cup of coffee before Kaoru had lead them to the door appealing to his urgent business, but still.
It had felt to nice to see Kaoru again, just sit there and hear his calm voice. Die had felt so sorry that for a sec-ond he thought he was about to cry, squeezing his coffee cup like maniac but he had managed to pull himself together.
There had not been any rehearsal after the conversation of Kisaki and Kaoru and Die had not seen Kaoru since their scene in the doorway.
Die had missed Kaoru. It had felt so weird not seeing him. And now it had felt like there was a black thick wall between them, like they were in different planets, not sitting face to face.
Die felt scared. What if he was about to loose Kaoru? Loose their friendship? Die did not want to think about it. It was too painful.

Toshiya was teasing Kyo again:
“Kyo, you’re so funny. I love your messy hair. And your pointy tooth! You look like some mental-institution run-away!” Kyo watched laughing Toshiya unbelievingly.
“Toshiya-san, are you talking about my teeth when it’s yours which need serious help?” Kyo answered and started to laugh.
Toshiya looked surprised at first but then he noticed Kyo’s lovely dimples which formed to his smooth cheeks and his eyes which were shining like two bright stars and he started to laugh also just because of delight.
And when Toshiya opened his mouth Kyo had to laugh harder because now he saw Toshiya’s weird teeth.
And then Toshiya had to laugh harder because Kyo started to laugh harder and it sounded and looked really weird.
Together their laughter was turning into hysterical, Kyo wiping the tears off from the corners of his eyes and Toshiya laying on the top of the table, but it didn’t matter.
Die looked at Kyo his eyes and mouth wide open because of surprise. Kyo hadn’t laugh for a long time and now it came so suddenly Die was completely caught out of guard. Then a smile slowly rose to his lips. He felt warm inside. It felt so good just sit there, in the Kyo’s and Toshiya’s laugh.

*

Kisaki who had sat on the next table looking murky biting his thumb couldn’t take it no more. He stood up so fast that his chair fell down.
All turned to look at him and they could see the rage burning in Kisaki’s eyes.
Suddenly Kyo closed his mouth and nailed his gaze to the floor. He turned from sparkling into complete dark in two seconds and Die felt cold fear in his heart because of that chance.
Shinya lowered also his chin so his hair fell to cover his expressions.
Toshiya wasn’t an idiot and he also noticed all the little chances which were caused by Kisaki’s reaction. He truly was the leading character of this band. He had all the members under his influence.
Almost all… Toshiya glanced at Die whose eyebrows turned into angry crumple. But the guitarist didn’t say any-thing.

“So, why exactly are you here?” Kisaki asked and leaned his fists hard to the table. He smiled but the words coming out of his mouth were full of down-tied anger. Toshiya leaned slowly back with his chair and smiled at Kisaki lovingly.
“Oh, Kisaki-san. You know I’m here just because I can’t have enough of your vocalist.” Kyo looked at Toshiya eyes forming big scared circles. Toshiya nodded at him calming him down.
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. But Toshiya-san, you know, Kyo is OUR vocalist. And I’m having a feeling you’re trying to catch him to your band.” Kisaki’s voice was getting louder and louder.

His words made Die inhale loudly and he was ready to start yelling to Kisaki once again, but Toshiya was much more faster than he.
“Why do you think something like that?” He asked.
“Isn’t it obvious? You’re always being nice to him, smiling and joking and TOUCHING him. Like you were trying to make him your lover. And you’re doing the same thing to Shinya! And Die! Are you trying to take them all? You’re one big fake.”
“You mean I’m being nice to them all? Isn’t that something people do to each other?”
“No!” Kisaki yelled and the room fell into the silence.

Kisaki was breathing heavily, like after a marathon and his face was glowing sweaty. Rest of the La:Sadie’s looked at their so called leader amazed. It was like a veil has dropped somewhere and they all saw their once so dear friend in a new light. What he had become.
It was all clear now. No troubled minds anymore trying to solve what exactly was Kisaki’s problem when they all saw it now.
He wasn’t that Kisaki which they once pointed as their leader.

Toshiya looked quite normal watching Kisaki his head tilted when he whispered:
“You really should try sometimes, Kisaki-san.”
Kaoru entered the room with his guitar just for the time to see when Kisaki ran to hit Toshiya with his fist. Luckily Toshiya was already waiting this and he rose his hand to defend himself but ‘cause of Kisaki’s force they fell to the floor.
Die and Kaoru ran screaming curses to catch Kisaki and lift him off of Toshiya and Kyo along Shinya came to help Toshiya from the ground.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Die screamed to Kisaki pushing him towards the wall.
“What the fuck’s going on here?” Screamed Kaoru holding Kisaki’s shoulder.
“I’m gonna beat that shameless brat!” Kisaki shouted pointing at Toshiya.
“You idiot! He’s our friend! You ain’t laying your hand on him!” Die said and hold him down.
“He was insulting me!”
“He was telling the truth”, Kyo said silently.
“What?” Suddenly Kisaki’s voice quieted down and it started to shiver.

He looked at Kyo and they could see Kisaki’s surprised eyes. It was like Kyo had hit him whit those silent words more badly than anyone with closed fist could ever had.
“What did you say?” Kisaki’s voice broke.
“Toshiya is right. You do nothing but push us down”, Kyo said with even more silent voice.
They all looked at the beaten up figure of their little singer which stand before them. Kyo rose his face which were striped by tears and met Kisaki’s eyes.
“I’m sorry Kisaki-kun, but we can’t accept that. This can’t go on anymore. You are hurting us all behaving like that. You’re not our leader anymore. For now on La:Sadie’s do not exist anymore.”

*

They all opened their mouth at the same time to say something but no words came out.
Toshiya’s face was all white when he sat down to the chair from where Die had rose up just few minutes ago. It felt like it had happened centuries ago.
Die and Kaoru stared first at Kyo and then slowly turned their head to each other. Kyo’s words felt so weird. Though they had talked about quitting the band but it been only a talk. But now it had just happened. Just sec-onds ago the band they had shared was disbanded. And they knew it had been the right thing to do, but still they felt like crying.
Shinya looked at the eyes of Kaoru and Die and he red all these thoughts. It was easy for him because the same thoughts were on his mind.

He opened his mouth and said:
“I agree.” Kaoru and Die let go of Kisaki’s shoulders and took few steps backwards.
“I agree”, said Die.
“I agree”, whispered Kaoru. They couldn’t look at Kisaki’s eyes which were full of despair turning to look at them. He watched the faces of them all, waiting for some kind of hope, finding only determination. Kisaki’s eyes got wet and big tears rolled down his cheeks.
“No…” he whispered. “No… no…no, no!” he yelled his voice cracking.

It was the voice of a man who had just lost something precious, something irreplaceable, and it hurted the listener’s heart.
“Die…don’t leave me”, Kisaki said looking at guitarist. Die rose his hand and hugged Kisaki silently.
Then he backed off and away from the room.
Kyo came carefully closer and he touched Kisaki’s sleeve but he didn’t even notice because he was still watch-ing after Die. Kaoru took Kyo’s hand and left the room with him only looking at Kisaki once.
Shinya was holding back his tears and he only stood there watching the wall behind Kisaki. Then Toshiya got up fearing Kisaki would get some violent thoughts into his head again and took Shinya’s hand and led him away.

Kisaki stayed there, standing and staring at the invisible point in front of him.
He felt so empty. He felt so cold. He felt so numb and he didn’t know what to do.
He closed his eyes and he wished he could just fell into dream and drift away.
Slowly and smoothly so he couldn’t feel this aching pain. His head felt heavy.
When he walked through the door he saw all his friends standing there and waiting for him. Or were they his former friends? Kisaki did not know.
All he wanted was to make it all better. And so he knew he had to leave them, let them go as they wanted to. Accept the fact that they were better without him. It probably was the most terrible feeling in his life to that point.
And when he started to cry again the others heard it. His voice was full of sorrow but also lost. So he had let them go.
And they all came and closed crying Kisaki in one big hug giving their thanks to him and at the same time trying to comfort him.
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Crimson blue