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Just Friends	By : Redneckgirl Category: Individual Celebrities > Gerard Butler Views: 5547 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know Gerard Butler. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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June 21st 2004. Whitechapel, London.

After what had been a night of fitful sleep, Gerry’s heavy eyelids fluttered into life at 6.30am. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took a look at the time. He guessed he had finally drifted off at some time past 4.00am, which was the last time he had glanced over at the time on his big old fashioned style alarm clock. He hadn’t slept well at all and was annoyed that he had woken up so early, but with what was on his mind he wasn’t surprised he hadn’t slept, he never did when he had something occupying his every second thought.

Feeling a little bit warm, he pulled the duvet off himself and stretched his large muscular arms before hooking his fingers together and leaning back with both hands behind his head and continued to let his train of thought wash over him. He just couldn’t figure out why he had almost frightened Kim half to death with what he had said to her the previous night. He had only been having a joke with her, but it would seem somehow he had offended or embarrassed her. ‘Why the hell did she react like that?’ he thought to himself for the 1000th time. There was an undeniable atmosphere in the room between them afterwards, so strong that the air positively crackled. If he didn’t know better he would say it was pure sexual tension. He could maybe account part of this to his own strong attraction to Kim, but not from her side of things.

Gerry grumbled to himself and rolled over onto his side, pulling the duvet back over with him as he did. If he was honest this wasn’t the first time things had got a tad strange between Kim and himself. A situation had occurred on one of the occasions when she had visited him in New York which had left them both feeling mighty peculiar towards each other. He then thought that maybe the previous event in question had caused Kim’s reaction. He thought and thought until his mind wandered back to that night, in his loft style apartment in NYC……………

April 2nd 2003. Lower East Side, New York City.

‘I’m telling you Gerry, for as long as I live I will never be able to erase the vision of that man hanging an iron off his Prince Albert piercing! Damnit that must have hurt!’ said Kim, still in partial shock over the strange and amazing things her and Gerry had witnessed at the circus of horrors performance at CBGB’s nightclub that evening.

‘Imagine how all us guys in the audience felt seeing that, you haven’t even got a dick to hang one off angel!’ said Gerry as the two stood trying to hail a cab outside the club.

‘So I can’t tempt you to go in for one of those piercings yourself then?’ said Kim making a jabbing gesture with her finger towards Gerry’s crotch.

‘Only if you kiss it better afterwards darling’ said Gerry with a cheeky wink, to which he earned a sharp smack and a dark look from Kim, who then couldn’t help but let her face break out into a smile and a small giggle escape her lips. ‘You are terrible’ she said eventually.

‘Yes I am, but you wouldn’t have me any other way would you my little friend?’ said Gerry as he draped his arm around Kim’s shoulders.

‘Agreed, I can’t ever imagine you not being rude or cheeky’ said Kim as she smiled up at him.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity a cab finally pulled over to chauffer them home. Throughout the journey Kim and Gerry enthralled their cab driver with what they had seen at the circus of horrors.

‘Jeez guys, I aint calling y’all liars or anything like that, but im’a goin’ to have to take a look at that shit for myself!’ chuckled the driver in a strong Brooklyn accent.

As soon as they arrived back at Gerry’s apartment Kim headed straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Whilst she was otherwise occupied Gerry kicked off his shoes and pressed the answering machine button, noticing that the message received light was flashing wildly at him. He expected it was his agent leaving her usual assortment of five minute long messages that annoyingly filled up his voice mail box, thus not enabling anyone else to leave one. What he didn’t expect where the six messages from Kim’s mother, frantically trying to get hold of her eldest daughter.

‘Kim hun, have you checked your mobile? Your mums been trying to get in touch with you’ shouted Gerry outside the bathroom.

‘No I’ve had it turned off for the last few hours, ill check it when I get out and call her back then’ Kim yelled back so Gerry could hear her over the noise of the shower.

‘Ok, I’d hurry up though. Whatever she needs to speak to you about sounds quite urgent’ replied Gerry before he made his way to the kitchen to make them some coffee.

Kim showered and dried quickly, then pulled herself into her sweat pants and a little vest top before giving her teeth a quick brush. As she brushed her teeth she wondered what her mum was calling so early from England about. She hoped her little sister Sally hadn’t anymore problems. Sally had been born with Down syndrome and respiratory problems, and as a result of her chronic asthma had been in and out of hospital more times in her short life than Kim could care to remember. Because of her disability Sally was very afraid of doctors and hospitals because she didn’t understand that they where there to help her, though Kim believed any normal four year old child who had been in hospital as much as Sally had would become more than a little uneasy with being there too. She gave the bottom of the shower a quick clean, hung up the towels she had used on the rack in front of the radiator to dry, picked up the clothes she had been wearing and made her way out of the bathroom and into Gerry’s spare room.
She threw her clothes into her suitcase (she was leaving for London the next day and decided that it wasn’t worth washing them just for them to be stuffed back into a suitcase again), and fetched her mobile phone from her bag to call her mum.

As Gerry sat and wondered if Kim was ever going to come out of the spare room, she reappeared. And he saw that her face was as white as a sheet.

‘Kim, what’s wrong? He questioned as Kim slowly walked over, and then sat next to him on the sofa.

‘I-I-Its m-my Nan, s-s-he’s h-had a heart attack’ Kim eventually managed to stutter before a huge sob escaped from her throat and she dissolved into tears.

‘Oh god, oh Kim I’m so sorry. When did it happen?’ said Gerry as he pulled a sobbing Kim into his arms.

‘First thing this morning, the paramedics where at the house at 6.30am just after Granddad found her on the bathroom floor’ said Kim through her sobs. ‘Mum said the doctors cant say how strong the heat attack was, and wont know the full extent of the damage until she comes round, if she comes round, but apparently because she’s in her seventies the prognosis doesn’t look good. She and Jeff are at the hospital now, and Gus is at home looking after Sally and Charlie’ Kim managed to say before she completely broke down.

All that Gerry could do was to hold her close to him and soothe her as she cried. He felt useless. He wished with every ounce of himself that he could be more of a help to her, to take her pain away but he knew he couldn’t. As Kim’s cries got worse Gerry picked her up from her seat beside him and gently placed her back down onto his lap, so she was completely enfolded in his arms, and resting her head on his chest.

As Kim sat and cried she cursed herself for switching her phone off, if she hadn’t had done that she would have known sooner about her Nan’s condition. She knew there was nothing she could do but wait out the night and then get herself to JFK as soon as she could in the morning to see if she could be put on an earlier flight home. She needed to be home. Kim sat and thought about each member of her family and how it would be affecting them differently. Her Granddad would be in a state. Her stepfather Jeff (or Papa Jeff as Kim had always called him) would be keeping everyone calm, Gus would be quietly falling to pieces, Sally wouldn’t understand how poorly her Nan was, four year olds where much too tender to know and to be told about the why’s and wherefores of heart problems, and Charlie, Kim’s 14 year old sister would have been charging around the hospital and storming up to every single doctor that crossed her path demanding to know what they where doing for her Grandmother, before she was likely to have been dragged home kicking and screaming by Gus. As for her Mother, Kim knew from her voice on the phone that all she needed was for her to be back at home.

The minutes turned into hours, and Kim hadn’t moved from her spot on Gerry’s lap, all safely snuggled into his arms. She had cried so much that eventually she had cried herself to sleep. At midnight Gerry was just about to pick Kim up and carry her off to her room when her mobile phone rang by his side. Gerry quickly picked it up on the first ring so as not to wake her up.

‘Hello, is that Gerry? This is Pauline, Kim’s mum speaking’

‘Yes it’s me, hello Pauline. It’s very nice to finally speak to you but I do wish it was under happier circumstances’ Gerry said quietly in a meaningful, sympathetic tone.

‘Well so do I young man. Is Kim there?’ asked Pauline.

‘She is but she’s fast asleep at the moment, would you like me to wake her?’ Gerry said in little more than a whisper.

‘No, no. Let her sleep love, but when she wakes up you will have some good news for her. Her Grandmother came round about half an hour ago, and although the initial prognosis prepared us for the worst it seems she’s going to pull through. She isn’t totally out of the woods as yet, but at least they have said she will survive with the correct treatment and possibly a by-pass operation’ said Pauline, relief pouring out of her.

‘Oh that’s fantastic, I’m really pleased for you all and ill let Kim know as soon as she’s awake’ said Gerry as he looked down to where Kim’s head rested against his shoulder, still sound asleep.

‘Thank you Gerry, oh and just one more thing love, look after her for me’ said Pauline.

‘I always will’ said Gerry before the pair said their goodbyes.

‘Oooowuztha?’ muttered Kim in her half asleep state, meaning ‘who was that’.

‘That my dear was your mum, and it looks like your Nan is going to be ok, she woke up half an hour ago and they have said it looks like she is going to be ok’ said Gerry as he stroked a stray lock of hair away from Kim’s eyes.

‘Oh thank god, thank god! Said Kim as she attempted to sit up, but realized even though her head had woken up, her body hadn’t so she decided to remain still. After only ten minutes Kim’s head had started to loll around on her shoulders as sleep once again tried to wash over her.

‘Ok, time for bed for you then’ said Gerry as he stood up off the sofa and carried her in the direction of the spare room.

‘Gerry? Can I stay with you tonight please? I really don’t want to be on my own’ said Kim sleepily into his shoulder.

‘Of course you can angel’ he said before giving her a little kiss on the forehead, totally understanding her need for not wanting to be alone.

Gerry gently placed Kim down in his big bed, undressed down to his boxer shorts and got in next to her. As soon as he lay down she turned over and put her arms around him, pulling him close to her to have her comfort back again. He smiled down at her and stroked her hair, thinking how tiny and sweet she looked all curled up next to him. He had felt a huge relief himself when he had heard the good news about Kim’s Grandmother, it made him feel like he had played some small part in it all by being able to give her the message of good news, instead of sitting there and feeling useless.

When he changed position to lying on his back Kim immediately moved with him so she was lying in the nook of his shoulder, her head gently resting against the concrete hard muscle as her silent breaths fluttered across his chest, making the soft dark hairs there gently twitch as they where disturbed by the coolness blowing over them.

‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re my rock’ Whispered Kim as she lazily stroked his arm.

‘Well you don’t have to worry about that, ill always be here’ said Gerry as he curled the arm she was lying in around her back and began to trail his fingers up and down her spine.

‘Do you mean that? Will you be in my life forever?’ asked Kim as she lifted her head to look at him.

‘Forever, I promise’ said Gerry as he looked into Kim’s eyes. Even in the near pitch black he could see her eyes twinkling up at him, almost like two sole stars all alone in the night sky. It was then that it happened. Without thinking, as they stared into each others eyes in an unbreakable gaze, Gerry gently moved his head and pressed his lips against hers, and for a second, Kim kissed him back. Immediately they realized what they had done, and that however brief the kiss was, a mere graze against each others mouths, they knew it wasn’t a kiss between friends. For a nanosecond it was the real thing until they had come to their senses, and Kim then turned away from Gerry. ‘Bad move, really fucking bad move you idiot’ thought Gerry to himself as he squeezed his eyelids shut and grimaced. Before he had chance to mentally beat himself up Kim reached behind her and took his arm, draped it over her body and hooked her fingers through his.

When Kim awoke seven hours later she still had Gerry’s hand in hers. Silently she managed to prise herself away from him and get out of bed without waking him up. She went into the bathroom and washed and brushed her teeth before going into the spare room and packing the remainder of her things into her suitcase. She dressed quickly and quietly carried her suitcase to the front door before turning and going back into Gerry’s room. He was still deep in sleep when she bent down and laid a little soft kiss on his head, and stroked his short messy hair before turning and exiting the bedroom. She found a pen and a piece of paper and wrote him a simple little note before she left his apartment and hailed a cab to JFK airport. The note read;

‘Thank you’.
Love Kim xx.

She couldn’t find anymore words to say. She knew that was why she had left without waking him, because after the events of the early hours she really didn’t know what words she could find to say to him.
Kim sat in the yellow cab and silently cried all the way to the airport. She cried for her Nan, and she cried for Gerry. But most of all she cried because he had kissed her, and she had turned away.

Since the night in question neither Kim nor Gerry mentioned their almost-was-a-kiss-but-not-quite to anyone, or spoke about it to each other. They both separately considered that window of a possible other avenue than just friends, however briefly it had opened, to be well and truly shut for good.

As Gerry lay there hugging the duvet, the memory of that night burned through him again as intensely as it had when he had woken up alone in New York, with only a note left of Kim. He had been blocking out the fact that under their friendship, a deeper current flowed. And now with that night at his loft, and the incident on the sofa firmly swirling through his head, he realized that maybe she too could want something more, but that maybe she was scared too. For the first time ever he let himself think on the idea that maybe Kim felt the same as he did, and had the same reasons as him for not making a move. But what if he was wrong?

‘What if it’s just something that happened, and really was a huge mistake? Ill loose one of my best friends if I don’t get this right’ Gerry thought to himself. He looked over at the clock again; 7am. ‘I’ve had enough of this’ he fumed as he threw himself out of bed and walked out of the room towards the bathroom.

One hour later Gerry was in the place he could almost always be found when he had the weight of the world on his mind; his local boxing gym. He proceeded to punch the shit out of one of the punch bags for a good hour and a half, each blow representing a frustration he held within himself, but the main frustration he needed to work from himself was words, and all the ones he felt he couldn’t bring himself to say to Kim.
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Just Friends