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Even Your Shadow I Miss	By : druscillaryan Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1729 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Guster owns the song.

Even Your Shadow I Miss
Part Four

Someone, someone could tell me
Where I belong
Be calm, be brave, it'll be okay

Bam held the phone to his ear, rolling his eyes and pouring himself some much needed coffee. "I just forgot that there was something I needed to do. Yes, I got a hold of Ville." He gave his boyfriend the finger as he snickered. "I'm catching the next plane. Jesus, Ape, you're in a better mood when I destroy the house. I know, I know. Worried you to death, heart attack, blah blah blah. I'll see you later. Bye, Ape."

"You have to leave so soon?" Ville asked as Bam sat down between his legs on the couch, leaning back into his embrace.

"You know I've got to, babe." Bam said, taking a drink from the white mug. "For one thing, you said you wouldn't get anything done if I were here and I really do need to edit the new 69 Eyes video. And . . . well, they'll suspect something."

"Which is why we're telling them as soon as we get back." Ville said in a slightly threatening manner, which reminded Bam of his mother a bit. "No backing out of it this time."

Bam took another drink of his coffee and didn't say anything. He wasn't particularly looking forward to telling his friends and his family he was gay. Which is why he'd manage to convince Ville they didn't need to tell anyone everytime Ville said they should.

"Bammie? Promise me we'll tell them when I get back to West Chester."

"Ville . . ."

"Promise me, Bammie."

Bam swore. He couldn't lie to Ville, couldn't break a promise. "Fine. I promise." He looked at the clock. "I have to be at the airport in an hour."

He gasped aloud when he felt Ville's teeth nipping at his neck. "We don't have much time then, do we?"

* * *

I look straight at what's coming ahead
And soon it's going to change in a new direction

Bam threw his keys on the kitchen table and yawned. His plane had left at four Finnish time, nine in the morning Pennsylvania time, which was considered too early at his house. He was tired; too tired to climb the stairs to his room, but not tired enough to fall asleep. Instead, he walked into the pirate bar and grabbed a beer, sinking into the nearest chair and opening the bottle, taking a drink.

He stared into the empty fireplace for a time he couldn't remember. All he could see was Ville's face and the faces of everyone else he knew turning away from him when they found out. And what if Ville breaks up with me? Bam thought, screwing his eyes shut at the thought, trying to make the faces disappear from his mind. I'll be all alone.

He heard footsteps and opened his eyes to see his mom coming down the stairs. "You're back." she said, walking over to him and hugging him, much to Bam's distaste.

"God, Ape. I didn't die or anything."

"Well, we didn't know." she snapped. "You could have been lying in a ditch. No note and you didn't even take your cell phone. We were worried, Bam. Think about that next time."

"You were worried?" Bam snarled back. "You don't even know why I left in the first place!" He felt immediately guilty at the look on his mother's face. "Sorry." he mumbled, standing up and walking into the kitchen. He was making another pot of coffee when two more people managed to drag themselves out of bed.

"Hangover?" Raab asked, looking at the coffee Bam was making.

"Jet lag." Bam answered, looking away from the three people looking at him, praying to god they wouldn't ask any questions.

"From where?"

Bam didn't even know who asked. "I can't remember."

"Bullshit." Ryan said. "You're telling me you can't remember what country you disappeared to for twenty-four hours? I wasn't even there and I know where you were."

Bam turned around, arms crossed, glaring at his friend. "Yeah? Well, then where exactly was I, smartass?"

"Hellsinki, Finland ring a bell? I'd guess the Kylä apartments, number 27?"

Bam's face drained of color. "Go to hell." He moved toward the doorway, but was stopped when Ryan stepped in front of him. "Move."

"Everyone knows." Ryan said. "Everyone knows about it, Bam, so quit being a fucking chickenshit and just admit it!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Bam pushed at the other man, but he refused to move. "Get the fuck out of the way, Dunn!"

"I'll move when you say it. Just say it, Bam."

"There's nothing to say!" Bam yelled, oblivious to the fact that slowly but surely, everyone in the house had been woken by the yelling and were now scattered on the stairs and everywhere in between the two men arguing.

"Then why the hell are you so afraid to tell us where you were? Why can't you just say you were at Ville's?"

"Bam," Brandon Novak said from leaning against the doorframe, "no one cares, man. You know, if you're dating him. Whatever you want, dude, we're cool with it. We get it. I mean, Ville's one hot son of a bitch."

Bam's eyes closed for a moment before he burst out laughing, turning to stare in bewilderment at his friend. "You are the most fucked up person I know." he said. "I can't believe you just told me my boyfriend was hot."

There were no inhibitions now, no gasps at the surprise that he had just admitted out loud what he was and what he and Ville were together. Just him laughing and Dico teasing Ryan about how Novak got Bam to crack.

And what surprised Bam the most was how it was over like that. How, after the screaming and yelling, the rest of the day was as "normal" as always, except with a few extra jokes thrown in at Bam and Ville's expense.

---TBC---

What do you guys think? I'm not sure about it.

Oh, and the thing about the apartments. I didn't know what to name them so I found a Finnish translation thing online and they're the "village" apartments because I'm unoriginal.
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Even Your Shadow I Miss