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50 ways to love	By : nekochannya Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > GacktJOB Views: 919 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of GacktJOB. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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It’s raining. Darkness blankets my room in patches, the fast-approaching evening slips through the windowpanes. I wonder what I’m doing laying half naked on the floor watching the sheets of rain dance in the wind while slowly caressing my body with frigid digits. The balcony doors rattle and finally burst open, tired of resisting the strength of the storm. Raindrops fall over my heated face, my neck, my chest… pooling rapidly into the dips and grooves of my body. Tiny rivulets burn ice-cold trails down my skin, drawing a gasp from me. Closing my eyes, I let the dream take me again. I can almost feel your hands tease me, push me. Your dark gaze smiles faintly under me as I sink into your heat. The setting sun does nothing to assuage my thirst and I feel hot and cold, all at once. Unable to resist, icy fingers dip under silken cloth to wrap around aching flesh, pumping once, twice while my back arches bracing against the pleasure threatening to overtake my control.

“Masa…” your name becomes a prayer and a curse when it crosses my lips, my flesh weeping for your touch. Clumsy hands ravage my erection while the guilt increases. Friend… lover… foe, you are that and so much more...

“Please!... I… need you… Masa!” My fingers find the aching place that begs to be fulfilled and I tease myself mercilessly. Inside, I laugh coldly even as my entire being is consumed by molten flames. ‘What a joke!… Solitary confessions of a dirty soul.’

Panting breaths and aching moans inform the world of my sinful ambition. This is not enough. I want more. My eyelids drop, the weight too heavy for me to bear even as the pleasure threatens to overcome me. Thunder rumbles behind my eyelids, the cruel slash of lightning branding the heavens like a searing iron. The phone rings shrilly and I ignore it, deaf and blind to everything but this passion that overwhelms my very soul. So close… so…

“Moshi, Moshi?... Nyan… The Ren is not in… just tell me what you need and I will reply as soon as I want.” The answering machine picked up the call as my control slipped with the same intensity as the storm raging over me.

“Masa!” I strangle the name of my beloved, my body contracting violently in long white arcs that seem unwilling to end. I bring my hand close to my face; make believe grants me his scent on my hand, his moans in my ear. I milk my passions for all its worth, hoping to prolong the ecstasy… I need more… I want more… Masa.

Unappeased, my greedy hands seize my flesh violently once again, eager to push me over the same pleasurable abyss over and over until I lose consciousness.

“Ren-chan!? Koneko, it’s me… Masa! Can I talk to you…? Please? I… I need you… Please?” the broken sobs broke through the lusty fog that covered my senses like an icy waterfall in winter. Stumbling over a chair, pleasure utterly forgotten, I rush to answer the door by rote before the other leaves.

“Masa? What happened to you?” I barked in surprise, taking in the bedraggled appearance, the darkening bruises and the cut lip, my heart sinking in turmoil.

“Can I come in? I saw your window open… I… hoped…” he mumbled softly, his eyes shy and hesitant before his expression shattered and he flung himself into my waiting arms, sobbing recklessly.

With a long sigh of surrender, I close my eyes giving in to the need to cradle the beloved body tightly but carefully. With a frown I notice an unusual thinness under the coat that spoke of long repressed grief and worry. Nodding in spite of my anger, I whisper sweet nothings to calm his tears, while my cold body rejoices in the wet heat near me.

“Come on… you know you are always welcome.” Moving gently, I invite my friend inside, thinking only of Masa’s needs. “You are all wet… give me that coat before you get sick. Come… take a warm shower while I find you a towel and a change of clothes.” I speak quickly, trying not to show my anger and pain.

Returning with the promised items, I wait for Masa to finish showering before helping him dry his hair, the spiked strands of black hair making him look extremely tempting and vulnerable. Half an hour and three teacups of red tea later, the teapot steamed deliciously waiting to warm Masa’s belly while he took comfort from me, his dearest koneko. Warm and cozy, he relaxed drowsily wrapped in my down comforter and started to talk. “Don’t think badly of me… I…Gackto… we… he… God Ren! He… we drank… we fought… Ren… he hit me! I was afraid… he said… he said that I didn’t love him! And I couldn’t deny it.” Tears slid down his cheeks, his runny nose and puffed up lips making him even more desirable in my dazed eyes.

The storm raged outside, increasing in its intensity while Masa haltingly told his little tale of betrayal and lost faith.

“Ren… What happened to you?” He asked sleepily as he noticed Ren’s state of undress. Extending a hand to touch the glimmering skin, he shivered inside his warm cocoon. “You are wet!” he confirmed with confusion realizing Ren was also soaking wet for the first time since his arrival at his friend’s house.

“I was taking a… a… rain shower… for good luck!” I smiled thinly, thinking frantically for a reasonable response. “It worked… It brought me you!” Masa’s blushing face makes me laugh, covering my shame with brash impudence. “Sleep now nyan… it will feel better later... I promise… Anou, tell you what, nyan?” I chose then my next course of action.

“What?” Masa asked blinking owlishly.

“You can take my bed…I just changed the sheets this morning… Nya… there… tomorrow will be better… you’ll see.” I ignore his protests, pulling the frail body to his feet and guiding him to bed.

“But…Where will you sleep?” he asked weakly.

“In the sofa… where else? That is, unless you are willing to share your bed with a lonely cat?” I joke halfheartedly from the safety of the closet, willing my body to behave.

“In your dreams, hentai koneko!” Masa replied sleepily, unaware of the hurt look that flashed over his friend’s face.

“Sleep Masa…I will keep you safe.” I murmur in his ear while I tuck him in. He smiles in his sleep, weary enough to trust blindly without questioning my motives. Using every ounce of willpower I possess, I turn on my heel and leave my room. Leaning against the door, I allow myself a minute to savor the moment. Like a beloved child I hold my dream tight to my breast. ‘Tonight Masa will sleep in my bed…’ Images of what could have been invade my mind with enough force trying to weaken my resolve.

Steeling my resolution, I pull away from the door. I won’t be keeping him warm… not tonight… not ever. Locking the door, I step into the oddly welcoming balcony, the elemental fury echoing satisfactorily inside my heart; sharp teeth pull my hair, buffet my body and stings my eyes. Taking this as a sign, I undress before my lover. Utterly naked now, my body claims for release wildly, savagely. My beloved’s warmth is just beyond my reach. The reality of my dreams is nearby… But I can’t allow myself the pleasure of touching him, of kissing him, of holding him. My soul rages against the injustice fate forced upon me. Angry and hurt I fall to my knees, my hands wielding my length with the ease of habit. I pour every ounce of despair and desire into this act, imagining his touch, his kiss.

“Masa!” I gasp; every limb trembling with passion. My hips start moving in counterpoint to my torturing hands. ‘Not yet!’ I cry inside my mind as I reach my limit. ‘This time will be different. I press the base of my turgid member angrily. This time… I will control you.’ The urge subsides and I attack my flesh again, drawing forth whimpers and moans from my parted lips. I press and prod each and every button I possess, lost in my dream world, drowning in my need. Masa’s hands are everywhere, exploring every inch of skin. Masa’s breath stokes the fire in my blood, provoking me even further. Everywhere I look there’s Masa. Everywhere I breathe I take in his scent. Suddenly, in the timeless space of a heartbeat I am surrounded by the fragmented pieces of a kaleidoscope. And each and every piece bears his reflection. Masa. Please. Cum with me.

I dive from the heights of passion, the rain beating mercilessly over my upturned face and I keen like a wounded beast. Gasping, the explosive force of my beating heart overwhelms me and I am surrounded by nothingness. I can only hear myself breathe in this immense darkness. Slowly my senses return and with this comeback, the cold smooth floor-tiles inform me of my position. I’m laying spread-eagled over the floor. Naked. Wet. Spent. The rumbling thunder wanes while the raging giant sleeps once more; slow but surely the storm tamed until it is nothing more than a steady drizzle. I turn my attention to the night sky. Waiting in the receding storm, I will the dwindling rain to take away my wickedness, just as my eyes overflow with guilty tears of regret.
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50 ways to love