Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

Another heart in a different scene	By : fundamellie Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Pet Shop Boys Views: 1122 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the celebrity I am writing about. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Instead of the three days he had intended to keep her waiting, a complete week had passed. It was late on the next Saturday morning after their little quarrel that Neil hesitantly rang the bell to Rebecca’s fashionable Nottinghill flat. He was casually dressed in a pair of dark blue Boss jeans, a simple black shirt and a sporty black jacket. He looked up at the façade, trying to figure out whether Rebecca was in or not. He blinked; a sun-beam had got caught in his glasses and he rang the bell a second time. The windows to her flat on the second floor had given him no clue; the curtains in the living room were open but he was not sure if she bothered to close them if when she left the flat during the day. He was about to press the button a third time when the intercom came alive with a crackle and then a voice came through, sounding both muffled and distorted.
“Hello? Who is that, please?”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly fearing that he was accidentally interrupting a lazy morning in bed with one of her admirers.
Hi Becky. It’s Neil,” he answered.
“Oh hi!” she exclaimed. “Come right up. I’ll be ready in sec!”
The door opened and Neil smiled, feeling pleased about the enthusiasm in her voice and relieved that he wasn’t catching her in bed with anybody after all.
He didn’t take the lift but instead made his way up the staircase with swift strides, taking two steps at a time. The door to Rebecca’s flat was still closed, so he knocked and lifted up the bouquet of flowers – white and pink roses in a delicate arrangement – he had bought on the way so that he could hide his face behind it and waited. A door fell shut; he heard a muttered curse followed by quick footsteps and then the door swung open.
“Sorry I…” Rebecca began but then was silenced by the sight that greeted her.
“Oh wow! Roses for me? What did I do to deserve them?”
Neil let her take them and smiled at her.
“Well, actually I just wanted to apologize for having been so mad at you. I didn’t want to shout at you like that.”
“Oh!” She looked uncomfortable for a moment, but then gestured him to come in and closed the door behind them. “Thanks, that’s so sweet of you!” She smiled a shy smile and then hugged him briefly, kissing him on both cheeks.
“How are you doing? You seem to have been busy that last week,” she asked, back in teasing mode.
He followed her down the corridor to the kitchen and noted how cute she looked when she was not all dressed up to the nines. Today she wore her hair tied together in a lose ponytail and she was barefoot. Her tight fitting dark-red blouse left her arms bare and her belly-button to be seen, her jeans hugged her figure very closely and he had to admit to himself that the view made him a little bit nervous.
“I’m fine,” he replied, leaning against the doorframe, watching her unwraping the flowers and finding a proper vase for them. “And yes, we have been rather busy last week. That’s why I only call on you today. I had planned to only keep you waiting for three days.”
“Oh, you had planned to keep me waiting?” She spun around and threw a broken rose at him. He laughed and picked it up from the floor and threw it back at her.
She grimaced and poked her tongue out at him. “Do you want a cup of tea? I just made some.”
“Yes, sounds good,” he agreed. “I just had my cup of coffee until now.”
“Then be a darling and take those over with you and just place them on the table, I’ll get us both a cup!”
“Aren’t I always?” Neil replied with a cheeky grin and took the vase with the roses from her hands. She giggled and shook her head in mock disbelieve.
“Modest as always, Mr. Tennant, eh?”
He did not comment on that, but only smiled to himself. He just loved to make her laugh like that. Plus she looked even more adorable than usual when a smile brought out her dimples. He set the vase down on the table and then made himself comfortable on the modern sofa, shrugging off his jacket and placing it uncharacteristically on an empty armchair. It was only a moment later that she followed him and set down two mugs of steaming tea.
“With a bit of lemon for you, right?” she asked before she said down on the sofa next to him. When he nodded, she drew back a little and seemed to gather her thoughts before she spoke again.
“Neil? Actually I wanted to say sorry. I.., I mean, I shouldn’t have said what I said last weekend.”
He looked at her thoughtfully and then shook his head slowly.
“It’s okay. Maybe we should just forget it.”
“No, let me finish please. I meant what I said. That I fancied you. That I fancy you still. But I…, I never meant to tell you that. I didn’t want to upset you.”
She moved a little closer and took Neil’s hand. He frowned but let her continue. Rebecca took a deep breath and faced her friend directly.
“Don’t lecture me now; I know that I’m talking crap. I know that I don’t have a chance in hell with you. I know that this should not be an issue between us because I’ve known all along that you are gay but I just can’t help it.”
She looked absolutely miserable now and Neil squeezed her hand slightly.
“I can’t believe I said this to you. You know, what I said last weekend. It was really rude and I’m sorry. I did not want to upset you. You must believe me!”
Neil looked away from her, starring into the empty space before him, not knowing what to feel or think. His mouth was suddenly very dry and he felt the pulse hammering in the vein at the side of his throat. He blinked repeatedly, still holding Rebecca’s hand in his. This was not what he had expected to hear. But unlike last Saturday her words did not make him angry. They put him ill at ease, but he did not feel upset or offended. He bit his lip and then looked at her again. She was so beautiful; her eyes so big and pleading and her lips pursed nervously. He let go of her hand and stood up, taking his untouched cup of tea in both his hands. He walked away from the sofa and over to the window, then back. He looked at her, unsure what to say and then drank a bit of the warm liquid just to buy some time.
“Becky!” Her name came out in a raw whisper. She looked up at him, the smallest smile playing around her lips. He put the cup down again and cleared his throat.
“I’m not angry with you. I’m just confused. I wouldn’t have guessed… that you… could have such feeling for me.” He blushed and closed his eyes briefly. After that he sat down next to her again.
“I know I should be flattered and then tell you to find yourself a real man instead.” She chuckled softly at his pun and he smiled at her reaction.
“But it’s all so much more complicated. Becky, you have no idea! Absolutely no idea!”
“Then tell me, Neil. Tell me why you were so furious with me last time and why you are so… so perplexed now!”
He nodded slowly. “Yes, I guess you deserve that. You want to know why I’m so perplexed? I would have never dreamed that you have any feelings of that sort for me. I thought… Ever since you are back, I’ve felt that strangely about you. You’ve made me nervous. You made me feel… attracted to you. Physically attracted.”
Now Rebecca stared at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, the perfect picture of disbelieve. Neil took no notice and went on with his confession.
“I… I didn’t feel like that about a woman in a long time and convinced myself to just ignore it. I came up with a thousand good explanations. That the disaster with my last boyfriend had left me desperate for company and admiration and that kind of crap. And then you said that last week. You not only told me that you are attracted to me, you basically offered yourself on a plate and this is all too much! I just can not take it.”
Rebecca gazed at Neil in silence for a long moment. Then she fleetingly touched his cheek. “But why? Why is it too much? I don’t quite understand… I mean, I’m attracted to you and you are miraculously attracted to me. Sounds like we both could be happy now.” Her voice wasn’t teasing, she was just as puzzled as he was and as curious as always.
“I feared that you would say that,” Neil told her and managed a smile.
“I will try to explain but I warn you. You’re in for a long speech!”
“I don’t mind. I really just wanna know.” Rebecca gave him a quick kiss on his forehead and then leaned back on the sofa, knees drawn up, her arms folded on the backrest.
“I know,” he sighed and got up once again. He walked around the table and then continued from there.
“I’m scared, Becky. Really, really scared. It took me most of my life to come to terms with what I am and to accept that running away and hiding is no longer an option. I knew that I was queer from an early age on but I never wanted to be.
I always tried not to be. I tried to be everything else. I was religious; I wanted to be a priest. I slept around with my friends, both male and female. I had girl-friends.
I wanted to be a family man, I wanted kids; I really did. You see? Deal me anything at all but don’t let me be queer! But I was and that fact scared me and now…
I thought I had everything sorted out and then you come along and I’m not sure if I wanna go through it all again. All the doubts and fears and the confusion. Maybe it would be easier to just forget about it.”
“Do I scare you?” Rebecca asked in a small voice after Neil had ended.
“No!” He shook his head vehemently. “No, you don’t. I didn’t mean it like this.
Look, do you remember when you were a teenager? When you thought that nobody understands you and that only you are going thought this kind of teenage hell?”
She nodded fiercely, her eyes locked on his.
“I guess it’s difficult for each and every teenager to find himself but for most of you one thing is clear: You are attracted to the opposite sex. Like everybody else expects you to. I’m not saying that it makes growing up so much easier but believe me, not being attracted to the opposite sex can make it so much more complicated! It’s not nice when you realize that you will not be able to fulfil the expectations of your family. You know, you won’t come home with a nice girl, Mum and Dad will not have their grand-children from you. You can not take your partner to the school-ball because all the bullies would just beat the shit out you and so on and so on.”
He swallowed but did not turn his eyes away from her.
“It makes everything so…awkward when you suddenly have to question everything you feel. You start to wonder. Does this and that mean that you are gay? You lose your identity and you are pretty much alone in finding your new one.”
“And now you fear that being attracted to me would mean losing your identity as a gay man again?” Rebecca interrupted him, her voice anxious and hesitantly.
“Is it that?”
“Sort of, yes,” Neil nodded, looking suddenly lost, standing framed against the window, casting a shadow against the white wall.
“I don’t know how else to explain it, I don’t know.”
“Jesus, you will have to be patient with me.” Rebecca pleaded.
“I’m not used to thinking like this. Let me try to get this all sorted out, for myself.
I can follow you when you said that you were scared by the idea of being gay when you were a kid. I can even sort of understand that it bothers you now to suddenly be in the situation to fancy somebody female again.” She paused and gave him her best crocked smile. “But I must admit I have about a million questions and they possibly don’t even have anything to do with the topic at hand.”
He came over to the sofa again and knelt down next to her.
“The Spanish Inquisition is back in power, hm? I will try to answer them all, but would you maybe care for a walk? I just get a little restless here.”
“Sure!” She nodded and got up immediately. “Hyde Park?”
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Another heart in a different scene