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To Love A Rock Star	By : avadedrahetarra Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > S.K.I.N. Views: 1649 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of S.K.I.N. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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IV. Miyavi: Keeping Secrets, Escaping Reality

Something suddenly felt very and horribly wrong. Like the lights had blown in the house, but the bill was paid, all the bulbs new, and the fuses fresh. In the blink of an eye, everything had turned around and become confusing and dark.

I knew the moment I opened my mouth that I had screwed up. When I mentioned his eye color, I knew my chances had been shot to shit. All I had wanted was to get closer to him, get to know him. It’s not like I was trying to get him to screw me. Was I?

I proceeded to get myself good and toasted, only deciding to leave when a woman suddenly recognized me and attempted to crawl into my lap. I went back to my hotel alone.

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and tried to put the pieces of it all together. I was living a dream I’d had since I was a teenager; I was going to share the stage with some of the greatest in the industry. I knew that there were dozens of other young talents in Japan, hell, in the world, that would kill to be in my place. A management expert, a guitar god, and a vocal saint. What better set up could there be? So why in the world was I feeling so beat up about it all?

Gackt’s words kept reverberating through my head, sailing along the sea of alcohol in my bloodstream.

“I can’t. One day, you’ll understand. I promise.”

Understand what? What wasn’t he telling me? Why was Gackt so desperately trying to avoid me?

A familiar churning in my stomach sent me reeling to the bathroom. I finished out my night with a round of ‘pass-out-on-the-bathroom-floor’ and slipped into oblivion.

The telephone ringing woke me the next morning. Hating myself for the pounding in my head, I stumbled into the room and fell onto the bed, grabbing the phone in the middle of its fifth ring.

“Moshi mosh?” I slurred.

“Miyavi?”

“Yah?”

“It’s Sugizo.”

“Oh. Hey, sorry. What’s up?”

“It’s two in the afternoon. Yoshiki’s been trying to call you for the past three hours. Are you alright?”

I glared at the clock next to the bed, hating it for agreeing with Sugizo.

“I’m hung over,” I admitted, rubbing my eyes.

“I can tell. I’m in the lobby and I’m coming up.”

“Wait,” I cried. “What-?”

He hung up. The bastard hung up on me. I stared at the phone in disbelief, unable to comprehend what had just happened. Sugizo had hung up on me.

I suppose I lay there longer than I thought because the next noise I heard was someone knocking on the suite door. I stumbled and shuffled my way to it and threw it open.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Sugizo said, smiling brightly.

“Shut the hell up,” I snarled, moving back into the living area as Sugizo came in and removed his shoes. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I can tell.” He closed the door. “What happened?”

I threw myself onto the couch and stared at my fellow guitarist for a long time.

“Bad night.”

“Obviously.”

“Did you come up here just to pick on me?”

I was getting defensive, one of my problems with being hung over. Everything rubbed me wrong.

“No,” Sugizo answered easily. “I just want to make sure that everything’s alright, that’s all.”

“Everything’s fine,” I answered, looking away.

“Obviously.”

“What do you want me to say?” I shot, my voice rising. “Do you want me to say that I had trouble with someone last night? That the person I want more than anything seems to hate me?”

I stopped, realizing just how close I was to saying too much. I felt the blush creeping into my cheeks as Sugizo finally moved away from the door and sat down in a chair near me. I glanced at him, half expecting to see confusion, or even revulsion, splashing across his features, but what I saw astounded me.

Quiet understanding and acceptance.

“Tell you what,” he said after a long stretch of silence. “Why don’t you go shower and clean up, and I’ll order us something to eat. Getting some food in your system might help your head. And your color. Kid, you look like shit.”

I could tell he was joking, so I smiled at him, fighting back the angry monster that woke up when I was drunk.

“I like the sound of that.”

He nodded and I hauled myself up and headed for the bedroom.

“Hey, Miyavi,” Sugizo called.

I turned and saw him standing by the phone.

“Don’t worry so much about it,” he said. “If it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen. No matter what anyone says.”

Slightly confused, I nodded and shuffled to the bathroom. Half an hour later, I re-emerged, damp, warm, and feeling a little better. Sugizo smiled and motioned to the small dining table to one side of the living area.

“I hope I ordered right,” he said, almost sheepishly.

“This works,” I said, eyeing the burgers and fries laid next to the noodles and rice. “I’m starving.”

I turned on the TV for a little background noise while we ate, tuning in to a kids network that was showing some oddly drawn cartoon featuring a big-nosed kid, a bossy blonde girl, and the Grim Reaper. We ate at a leisurely pace, exchanging jokes and talking about whatever would randomly come to mind.

“Oh yah,” I suddenly said, setting aside my glass. “You said Yoshiki was trying to call. What for?”

“Damn, I almost forgot,” Sugizo choked a little as he laughed. “He wanted to tell you that something’s come up and he has to go to Japan next week. If you want to go with him, he says to let him know. He’ll be there for a while, so you can get some work done if there’s any that needs doing.”

“Are you going?”

“I think so, yah.”

“And Gackt?”

“No. He’s staying here a while longer so he can do some more recording. A few of the guys from his band are coming in to meet him at the end of the week.”

I nodded, feigning indifference to this news. If Sugizo saw through me, he never said a word. I turned my attention to the TV screen, watching the Grim Reaper fry some unsuspecting creature with green light from his scythe.

“I can’t. One day, you’ll understand. I promise.”

“I’ll go,” I finally said, knowing that my voice sounded small and weak. “I want to go home for a while.”

Sugizo nodded.

“Alright. I’ll tell Yoshiki tonight so we can make the extra arrangements.”

“Thank you.”

This time, I was the one running.
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To Love A Rock Star