Adult-FanFiction.org : Celebrity

agitator	By : UtsukushiiAiji Category: J-Rock/J-Pop & K-Pop > Crossovers Views: 1723 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own or represent any of these celebrities. I make no profit from this, nor do I claim anything herein as the truth. It is purely fictional.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
NOTE: This story does
not have to be read in order to understand the main agitator storyline, but there are many details concerning events that transpire during the party that could be confusing without having read these sidestories. I recommend you do so, at any rate~
Title: agitator pt. 3b: The Prince and the Princess
Author: Alexandra
Rating: NC-17 (language, sex, sexual references; you know, good stuff)
Genre: Fucked Up
Pairings: Mana x Klaha, Mana x Toshiya reference, Gackt x Mana, Gackt x Masa
Comments: Oh man. Sometimes I think I go over the top with this shit, but then sometimes I realize reality is pretty damn boring and life needs some spice :p
Fun Trivia Fact: When I first started this fic, I had Klaha pinned as more of a joke character, as he was in the main agitator storyline, but when I started fleshing more of this out (sometimes I write specific scenes then write parts before or after later; to me it’s obvious in this fic), I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Klaha, simply because even if it’s hilarious to treat him poorly, I’m sure deep down he’d feel like a loser and deserves a voice (so that if you are the mean-spirited type, perhaps him having feelings will make the bullying even more funny, who knows~) And of course, he needs to realize, like everyone else should, that in my stories, Gackt and Mana can’t show up in the same document and not fuck, or have references to them fucking, or something else of such ilk. It’s classic. And more importantly, it’s hot. :D~
~~~The Prince and the Princess~~~
“Stay still.”
He tried not to fidget, but the small black brush was leering dangerously close to his eyeball.
“There…almost….”
There was a snicker as Yu~ki made an absurd face.
He tried not to twitch.
“Almost….”
Kozi giggled and grabbed Yu~ki’s face, covering the wagging tongue with his lips.
His eyes grew wide.
“Hmm, I need to buy a new bottle soon….”
The two proceeded to kiss as raunchily as possible, slurping noises and everything.
His cheeks turned pink.
“Dammit, I knew I should have switched brands…cruddy brush…”
Yu~ki let out a rather loud and purposely effeminate moan.
Finally he blinked, shutting his eyes in embarrassment.
“Klaha! How many times do I have to tell you to keep your eyes open???” a fairly stressed Mana hissed, dabbing at Klaha’s eye with a q-tip, mascara smeared in the corner.
Yu~ki and Kozi soundly began to crack up in the background.
Klaha tried his best to mask the grimace rapidly forming on his face.
“Suimasen Mana-sama.”
Mana sighed quietly.
“And quit trying to fuck one another in the background guys -- go do something useful like check the map again,” the doll-like guitarist added absently as he tried yet again to get Klaha’s eye makeup perfect.
“Haiiiiiiiii,” both the bassist and the guitarist droned together, trying not to snicker until they left the room.
“…Mana-sama,” Yu~ki added with a smirk and then straightened his bowtie. Kozi nodded towards the door and the two of them left.
Klaha tried his hardest to be impassive as Mana meticulously put the finishing touches on his eyes. The guitarist was more irritable than normal tonight and he knew if he wasn’t careful all his animosity would soon be directed towards him, and he definitely didn’t want that. No sane man did. Mana was quiet, Mana was cold…..but Mana could be ten times more psychotic than anyone would ever pin him to be if something went too wrong. And tonight with the way he was behaving, Klaha felt the forewarning thick in the air. He swallowed quietly.
He was a man -- he wasn’t afraid to admit that he was a little scared of Mana.
Crystal blue eyes skimmed over his own, calculating as they scanned for any flaws of imprecision. Klaha gingerly looked up, looking at Mana’s eyes as he hoped the other was too occupied to care.
But Mana was pretty. Mana was more than pretty, he was gorgeous, and Klaha wasn’t afraid to admit that either.
At least not to himself.
He wasn’t about to mention it to anyone else lest he become the laughing stock of the whole VK industry. Mana was pretty, but Mana was also unobtainable….He only slept with what he deemed the best and with his close friends, and Klaha knew he was neither of those.
“I’m going to go over your lips one more time. Open your mouth a little.”
He did as he was told, a slender hand grasping the bottom of his chin firmly. His eyes drifted shut as he felt the lipstick brush slip over his bottom lip.
And Klaha also knew all Mana did was sleep with his partners. He lived alone, and from all Klaha had seen, he intended to keep living that way. Which puzzled him somewhat. Mana was cold, Mana was pretty….Mana could be psychotic….but most of all, Mana looked….
…lonely.
And there was no reason for him to be, or so the vocalist thought. Plenty of people wanted Mana, and they wanted him in various ways….Some wanted to control him, others to please him…to show him off, to keep him locked up….Then others like Klaha just wanted to love him. It was hard for the vocalist to be near Mana on a daily basis. It was hard for him to sit in this very chair, the other touching his face and his lips as if it meant nothing, when to Klaha it meant everything. He’d never been too into men, but Mana wasn’t a man in Klaha’s eyes. He wasn’t a woman either….he was simply special. Which he found it ironic and quite absurd that someone who thought so little of him could seem like something so perfect. He was well aware of what he meant to Malice Mizer, because none of the other members tried very hard to hide their opinions. He was a filler, a substitute -- and not even the best at that. Until he gained the fans’ adoration, that’s all he would continue to be to them. Although sometimes he wondered, even if he did, if things would change.
He suppressed a sigh, Mana’s thumb gently wiping stray rouge from the corner of his mouth.
But he was used to that. Used to never being good enough. After awhile it ceased to faze him. He knew he should be happy that he had landed the job to begin with, and Mana at least pretended to give a fuck about him for public appearances. Pretended he liked being on his arm, pretended he liked posing next to him….And tonight was going to be yet another charade out of the many more he expected to come.
“There. Finished.”
Mana let go of his face and straightened himself back up, taking time to check that his hair was still in place and his dress was still wrinkle-free and spotless.
The vocalist slowly opened his eyes, looking over the sight before him. Mana was always something picture perfect, flawless to the point of surrealism. Sometimes, Klaha got the urge to touch him, just to make sure he still existed. Sometimes he wanted to see what Mana’s body looked like beneath the layers of lace and silk. He wanted to see if his skin felt cold like the expression on his face, like porcelain….or if it was warmed by the layers of velvet he frequently wrapped himself in. Sometimes Mana would touch him, outside of the world of publicity, maybe just for kicks, or maybe because he knew, and it stirred a passion within….
“Mana-sama?”
The guitarist looked back to Klaha, finishing his adjustments.
“Yes?”
And sometimes, Mana knelt between his legs, to keep him from fantasizing about anyone else, to keep him content with the abuse the band put him through….
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, trying to keep his voice even.
He hated that. And he loved it as well.
Mana stared at him, and Klaha wondered if there was a time when anything was said to the man that he didn’t analyze endlessly.
“Thank you Klaha.”
It was then the vocalist stood, taller in his heels than his leader physically, if not by sheer presence or will.
“It…it’s an honor to be your escort tonight Mana-sama, let me express my gratitude yet again.”
He watched as Mana’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Klaha put forth his hand, a small smile on his face.
“…….You may,” he replied simply, slowly placing his own hand in the other man’s.
Klaha bowed accordingly, his onyx hair falling forward from the confines of its styling ever so slightly as he leaned further and placed a kiss on Mana’s gloved hand. He released his hold quickly, knowing Mana would recoil, ever so politely, as soon as he could.
He was right.
At least that wasn’t just because it was him. Mana did that with all physical contact outside the bedroom, or so he had heard.
“Klaha, I want you to know we have a lot riding on tonight,” he began, wrapping one arm around his waist and propping the other one up as if he had a cigarette in it. “We haven’t had the publicity we used to get in quite some time now, and this event provides a good opportunity we’d be fools not to take advantage of. And as you know, I am no fool.”
He turned his back to Klaha.
“I trust you know your role for tonight?”
Klaha averted his eyes to the floor, eyebrows furrowing in a small display of emotion.
“Yes Mana-sama,” he began, words falling easily from his painted lips. “…. I am to look the part of elegance and sophistication that Malice Mizer demands. I am to speak only in a manner I know the band would see fit. I am to accompany you at all times unless stated otherwise.”
He paused, concentrating on the carpet beneath him.
“I am to respond to your touch and only touch if you respond.”
Klaha was quiet as he heard his large dress shift slightly.
“Very good Klaha….come here.”
He looked up and focused on the slender back, adorned in white silk and strapped artistically into a rigid and feminine posture. He covered the distance shortly, eyes fixed on that perfect back and the azure locks that were piled above it.
“Yes Mana-sama?”
“Klaha….put your arms around my waist,” he instructed, voice as monotone as it ever was.
His pulse quickened, but he did what was asked of him, careful not to get too close of to mar any of Mana’s careful arrangements on his dress. The perfume he wore was strong though, and Klaha couldn’t ignore it, having memorized the subtly spiced scent the first time he was exposed to it….
“Closer than that Klaha….press yourself against me.”
Gingerly he pressed himself closer, the fabric of his white coat pressing against the guitarist’s back. He could feel his arms tighten involuntarily around the thin waist and resisted the urge to rest his chin on Mana’s shoulder.
“Let me speak into your ear….”
He felt a hand reach up and caress his neck gently, but softly pushing with insistence until he was touching the other man’s cheek with his own. Desperately he tried to quell the butterflies rising in his throat and dull the beating of his heart.
“Klaha,” Mana said softly, turning his face a bit and almost talking into the other’s mouth. “If this goes well tonight….”
Klaha suddenly felt his chest clench, his breathing becoming deep.
“…..I will want you to escort me home.”
He tried to keep the quivering from his voice.
“….Hai, Mana-sama…..”
He felt his eyelids drop as lips pressed ever so gently against the corner of his mouth, a quake running through his body.
“Make it go well Klaha….”
~*~
“Yu~ki get over here and help me get my dress into the limo,” Mana called, walking swiftly out of the dressing room and towards the lounge where Yu~ki and Kozi were sitting with the door open. Both were smoking and chatting idly, awaiting their leader’s directions.
The guitarist didn’t bother stopping in the doorway, instead talking as he continued to make his way down the hall and to the elevator, albeit a bit slowly under the weight of his cumbersome dress. They had decided to meet at the studio to get dressed, its location being closer to the dance hall than anyone’s apartment, as well as large enough for Mana to check everyone was ready without having his train stepped on.
“I hope the limo we requested is down there by now…”
Kozi looked at Yu~ki, who gave him a meaningful look back and quickly snubbed his cigarette, rising to assist Mana. They knew something was up, but as usual they knew nothing could be done about it until Mana decided to mention the matter, and it was rare for him to do that unless he was throwing something against the wall. And they sure as hell did not need that tonight.
“Mana---,” he swallowed the ‘chan’ as Kozi coughed sharply in the background, “Mana don’t worry about it; I’m sure the limo will be here by now,” Yu~ki called back, grabbing his walking cane and hurrying after the other man.
“Kozi, get Klaha out here and meet us downstairs,” Mana said over his shoulder as he and Yu~ki stepped into the elevator, the bassist quickly gathering up all the material flowing about and pulling it into the small space.
The tattooed guitarist resisted the urge to shake his head. Mana would always be Mana, and he hadn’t had a heart-attack to date so….
He took another drag off his cigarette and waited for the sound of Klaha stepping out of the dressing room. Sure enough, a moment later he was having to kill the burning tobacco and turn off the lights to the room, the vocalist shutting the door audibly on the other side of the hall.
“Ne Klaha, excited about tonight?” Kozi asked offhandedly, pulling his cell phone from his suit pocket to make sure Hachitani-san hadn’t changed her mind about letting the boys handle this whole ordeal themselves. It was rare that Mana took charge of all preparations and dealings when it came to an event, and he wouldn’t be surprised if the staff that knew about tonight were a little antsy.
“Of course I am. It should be a pleasurable evening,” Klaha replied quietly.
Kozi tapped the flat button a couple of times. No messages. He was relieved.
“Good attitude,” he murmured, closing the phone and looking back up. Soon it was tucked back in his pocket and he was walking alongside the vocalist.
“But listen, I have to ask a favor of you tonight.”
Klaha resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow, instead focusing on pressing the elevator button.
“Yes?”
“It’s about Mana….”
There was a chime and the two stepped past the metal doors.
“You’re supposed to be his escort, and I’m sure you know the duties that entails ne, but I need you to do something else.”
He looked to Klaha’s pale face, the vocalist stoically concentrating on the doors to suppress his intrigue.
“Watch what Mana drinks okay? Don’t let him drink anything other than wine…..and even that, if it seems like he’s getting intoxicated, make him stop.”
Klaha looked at him, his face blank. Being told to “make” Mana do anything was far from what he had been taught since he joined the band.
“…Or tell us then,” Kozi added upon making the same realization Klaha had seconds earlier. “We’ll deal with him.”
“Wakatta?”
Klaha nodded.
“Hai, wakarimashita.”
Kozi continued to look at him.
“I’m serious about this one….If you forget everything else tonight, don’t forget that fact.”
The elevator stopped.
“Or you can forget about ever stepping foot into that bedroom of his,” he added calmly and stepped out of the elevator.
~*~
It was snowing by the time Malice Mizer arrived at Toho Dance Hall. The limousine they had rented was black, in contrast to the white ensembles they all had donned, partly to keep in line with their latest look and partly to catch the attention of other partygoers. Kozi and Yu~ki were the first to step out of the limo, Yu~ki having to duck lower than the guitarist and place a hand on his top hat to keep it from being knocked off. The two were immediately greeted by a haze of flashing lights, both dazzling and blinding as they made their way up the red carpet. Cameramen were swarming behind the velvet ropes, all vying for the perfect picture of what could prove to be an interesting peek into the relationships of various bands and their members. After all, Kyo’s birthday party was the first of it’s kind -- so many bands had had never gathered in one place before, let alone attended something where bringing a date along was expected, and they were prohibited from entering. But Mana was smart as well as etiquette-savvy. He knew what the people wanted to see, and was by all means ready to indulge them. Yu~ki quietly hooked his arm around Kozi’s as they made their way under the canopy and towards the entrance, tipping his hat once in a random direction in acknowledgement of the attention. They were to be one another’s date for the night, and the two had known one another so long that they hardly batted an eyelash when Mana requested such things. Kozi was less than straight after all, more so than Yu~ki, and he had always enjoyed sharing his affection with the other man.
And as for the Gothic Lolita himself, when the sight of his white satin boot peeking out from the dark interior of the limo caught the eye of one photographer, all light available turned to capture the sight.
Of course, Klaha was already standing beside the door and helping the guitarist to his feet, warily eyeing the snow falling softly to the floor and checking for ice on the pavement. His night would have already ended if Mana were to slip, or if he himself were to fall prey to such embarrassment. Luckily it was too early in the night for anything to have frozen over, and Mana was helped to his feet with no blundering to speak of. If Klaha could have, he would have smiled at the feel of the slender musician wrapping an arm around his own and pausing briefly for shots Klaha knew would make it to all the cover spreads. But he knew smiling would not do. Smiling was not perfection. Smiling would draw attention away from his date. And his date was perfection.
Slowly they made their way up the carpet, ironically enough resembling a wedding procession to the unknowledgeable passerby. Klaha kept his eyes fixed on Kozi’s back, reminding himself repeatedly of how he was to look, to walk, even to breathe before the cameras’ many lenses turned away from him. The grace that accompanied Malice Mizer’s image came easily to the other three members yet he still had to struggle with it, still had to constantly remind himself that appearances were different from reality lest he become truly mind-fucked.
He felt Mana lay a cheek on his shoulder.
Try as he might not to he found himself glancing downwards to prevent himself from halting right there in surprise. Mana’s heavily lidded eyes glittered with the reflection of the lights surrounding them, elaborately styled cyan ringlets framing his ivory cheeks and smattered with powder snow. He looked content for a brief moment, more content than Klaha could remember ever having seen him since he joined the band. And it was hard then, harder than it had ever been before, to remind himself of the game they were playing. A small smile crept onto his rose pink lips as more lights flashed, one after another to freeze the moment. Images that would show all of their fans of the adoration their favorite guitarist, their idol, their goddess, felt for such a man if he were to let himself lean against him in such a manner for all the world to see. Images that would show the love in Klaha’s eyes as he gazed down upon such a splendid sight, that would remind everyone that he had healed a heart they all supposed to be broken, or one with walls so high none were thought capable of scaling. Yes, images that even he himself would look over fondly, stare at for hours on end and drink in the pleasure that everyone else felt upon looking at them.
Images that were lies.
Blatant, filthy lies, Klaha sullenly reminded himself, the door fast approaching. Lies that he willingly participated in because he had lost his shame a long time ago.
He sighed ever so inaudibly.
And what remained, he thought as Yu~ki and Kozi waited patiently for he and Mana to enter the building, was left in the hands of these men.
~*~
Kozi breathed and audible sigh of relief as he saw the delicate sign labeled “Reserved For Malice Mizer-sama” on the table.
He had been worried that they weren’t going to get a booth, having taken note that some band members were forced to sit in chairs alongside the dance floor, although most of those men he didn’t recognize. He presumed them to be from struggling indies bands that were a friend of a friend of a friend so to speak and had lucked out by being able to attend. But all the famous bands, or infamous as the Visual realm could be on occasion, had their own booths nestled in the restaurant-style area beside the dance floor, the ceiling low and cozy and awash in candlelight as opposed to the high ceiling and chandeliers of the dance floor. All the booths had a clear view of both the nightscape visible through the windows behind them or the stage that the dance floor led up to. Mana definitely would not have been pleased if they were to be set to the side like they were underage and inexperienced fledglings in the industry. This booth, however, seemed more to his liking.
“Mana-sama, please be seated,” Klaha said, letting go of the other’s arm with a sweeping bow.
The blue-haired beauty nodded and began settling himself inside the booth, which luckily was not high-backed and posed little threat to his styled hair (Toshiya had chosen the place with all considerations for the average Visual star). Yu~ki and Kozi slipped into the booth on the other side while Klaha carefully settled himself beside Mana. Immediately a waitress came to get their drink order, although the band was so busy studying their surroundings and other guests they failed to see she had to be physically pushed towards their table. She stumbled on her heels and the lace of her dress flounced about.
“Ma-may I take yo-your order please?” the girl asked as she nervously shifted from foot to foot, looking like she could topple over at any minute.
Klaha was the first to pay attention, someone having caught Yu~ki’s eye as he pointed them out to his friends. He smiled at the timid girl, her face hidden in soft black hair, red lips the only thing visible on her white face. He was impressed with the dresses Dir en grey had outfitted the serving girls in, a sort of mixture between the lolita style and a maid’s attire, fishnet stockings running up their legs and shiny black platform Mary Janes confining their feet. He peered at her feet again.
“S-sir?”
Klaha looked up at her, the rest of the band now paying attention. She had awfully big feet….
It was right about then another waitress came up and pushed her out the way rather rudely, much to the vocalist’s shock.
“Of all the---go wait on someone who doesn’t care if they get their order or not you hypochondriatic freak!” the other girl spat in a rather unladylike voice.
The first waitress made a small wail of surprise and stumbled again, this time keeling over and onto the floor, skirt flying up and exposing her frilly underwear. But the new waitress paid no mind despite the whistling the move earned.
“So what would you like to drink Sir?” the new girl asked as she fiddled with her lip ring, apparently oblivious to the plight of her fellow waitress as the other girl kept trying to get to her feet unsuccessfully, repeatedly collapsing into a pile of lace. Finally a blonde-haired man rushed to her aid.
Klaha’s mouth hung open.
“I’ll take a whisky sour,” Yu~ki piped up.
“Screwdriver.”
“House red.”
The girl looked back to Klaha, a smirk on her face.
“What about you, Handsome?”
Klaha was still speechless.
“He’ll take a Coke….he’s driving,” Yu~ki said with a straight face. Klaha looked like he was about to protest but didn’t quite make it as the waitress whirled around and sauntered off.
“Anoo…did…,” he looked to Mana who was inspecting the embroidery on the curtains. Yu~ki and Kozi looked at him expectantly.
“Uh…the waitress…anyone think…”
Kozi raised an eyebrow.
“…guess not..,” Klaha mumbled and began toying with his (eyeball-free) napkin.
“Wahh there’s Shinya!” Kozi noted excitedly, jouncing the table as he stood up and spotted the first Dir en grey member of the night. Kaoru and Die had been distracted by the time Malice had arrived at the door and were absent upon their arrival. But that was probably a good thing taking Kaoru’s dislike for Mana into account.
“Where?” Yu~ki asked as he turned his head as well. Not only were the booths almost all taken, but there were various people milling about and spotting anyone was rapidly becoming very difficult.
“There, near the bar although, dammit I can’t see him anymore,” Kozi ended, crestfallen. He sat back down.
“Quite the popular one, isn’t young Shinya,” Mana noted, the drummer soon becoming surrounded by other guests.
“Probably because he sleeps with anyone who’s got the money to pay his bar tab,” Yu~ki noted wryly, and looked accusingly to Kozi.
“Hey listen, Shinya’s a class act, I don’t care what you say,” Kozi noted with a small blush on his cheeks. Both Yu~ki and Mana were aware of the crush he’d acquired with the younger man after “viewing Zen gardens” with him.
Both Yu~ki and Mana raised an eyebrow. Kozi squirmed a little.
“….I’m…um….I gotta go to the restroom,” he said hurriedly, fiddled with a napkin, then bolted out of the booth.
His friends watched as he tactfully made his way to the restroom vicinity and then veered around, walking straight towards the bar.
Yu~ki laughed. Klaha noted bitterly that yet again Mana cared little about how the guitarist and the bassist behaved once the cameras were off them.
“Well, good luck to him…But it looks like he’s got competition tonight, ne Mana?”
“Naruhodo,” the effeminate man replied, reaching into his purse for his cigarette case.
Yu~ki followed suit, searching his pockets for his pack.
The waitress suddenly returned with a tray full of glasses.
“One whiskey sour, one screwdriver, one house red for Beautiful and one Coke for Handsome here,” she said with a wink and a lick of her lips aimed at Klaha. He felt the heat rising to his cheeks.
Yu~ki snorted.
“Oh, and one letter to a certain Mana-sama.”
The waitress balanced the tray in one hand and immodestly reached beneath her skirt, plucking a letter from a lacy black garter. She placed it on the table.
“What we all wouldn’t give to be you Mana-sama,” she said slyly and sauntered off again.
Mana reached for the letter and ashed his cigarette.
“Dude…..Miyabi’s a skank,” Yu~ki observed, taking a sip of his drink. “I don’t know if you should touch that.”
Klaha nearly choked on his Coke.
“That was Miyabi???”
Yu~ki looked at him as if he were simple and Mana began prying open the letter.
“Don’t be stupid Klaha, no one else looks -- or behaves for that matter -- like that.”
He downed the rest of his drink.
“Look, you’re already forcing me to get wasted. Don’t ask anymore painfully stupid questions.”
Klaha kept quiet and looked back to the table, trying not to wonder why Miyabi posing as a waitress would be normal to someone.
“Give the boy time,” Mana murmured, and for a moment Klaha thought he was sticking up for him. “When he meets his S instead of fooling around with his vocalist he won’t be so apt to wagging his tongue all the time, trust me.”
He began looking over the letter and Yu~ki made a noise of agreement. He took another drag off his cigarette and picked up the discarded envelope.
“The usual?”
“Un.”
The bassist turned his attention back to the stage, waiting for Mana to inform him further and watching the shuffling behind the stage curtains in the meantime. The letter was from Toshiya of course. The two had been exchanging letters and the odd gift on occasion for little over a year now, and in some estranged way had become as good a friends as such circumstances would permit. Yu~ki knew Mana had slept with Toshiya on more than one occasion before the boy had hooked up with his current partner, and while he was still fond of him, it was more in a platonic way than anything else. It would have continued to be that way even if Kaoru hadn’t have stepped into the picture, Yu~ki thought with a somewhat sad smirk. His friend had yet to show interest past sex and friendship with anyone, and that included him and Kozi. He had never thought Mana would become serious with him, because honestly the only reason he was bedding him was due to his resemblance of a woman and convenience. Not to say that he didn’t adore Mana, but if he wasn’t in the position he was he would much rather have a bride by now, although his work wouldn’t allow him to. And Mana wouldn’t allow him to, seeing as pregnancy generally haunted women closely and Mana had little patience for small bundles of distraction. But he was sure Mana would have become serious about someone by now….
He glanced at the letter the guitarist was focusing so intently on and noted the blue lipstick mark at the bottom.
Kozi was about as good as it got when it came to potential mates for the other guitarist, his good looks surpassing the crutch of makeup and his personality kind and intriguing for the most part. He had been Mana’s friend long enough to understand the other man’s wants and needs, but was smart enough never to push anything or overstep boundaries. Yu~ki didn’t understand why Mana wouldn’t take a real interest in the other man, when all the components to make it work were sitting right before him. Hell, even he considered at times what it would be like to have Kozi as a serious partner, and that said something. But Mana…
The glass clinked as he held it up and shook it lightly for another waitress’s attention.
Even Klaha, despite the fact that he thought the vocalist was brainless and in desperate need of some self-esteem, wasn’t starting to look that bad anymore. At least he was handsome and would take care of Mana, even if he wasn’t to wear the pants in the relationship. Sometimes he almost felt sorry for the quiet man, all three of the other Malice Mizer members quite aware of his infatuation with their leader.
He looked to Klaha, who was staring at the candle on the table in silence, and resisted the urge to shake his head in pity.
Klaha didn’t realize he was fighting a losing battle, and if he did, Yu~ki would feel even more sorry for him. Yes, as much as he enjoyed taking his frustration out on such a prone figure, he didn’t enjoy the fact that Malice was falling apart at the seams and he had a sneaking suspicion it was due to Mana’s lasting discontent. He had hoped some part of Mana would be satiated with the arrival on the new vocalist, however…..
“Something’s wrong with Toshiya,” Mana abruptly murmured, folding the letter back up.
Yu~ki snapped out of his ponderings.
“What?”
It was then Kozi came back to the table, looking more than a little disheartened.
“Kozi-san, what happened?” Klaha asked in concern, watching the other slip back inside the booth.
“Nothing really,” he said with a sigh, Yu~ki passing him his now-watery screwdriver. “I can’t talk to Shinya because there’s too big a line. That and B’z is about to play and I hate B’z.”
Yu~ki nodded sympathetically and patted him on the back.
“Don’t worry na, the evening is still young….and it says there on the table that Cascade should be next.”
He paused as he realized what he had just said.
“Although I don’t know how much better that is….But Mana, what’s wrong with Toshiya? He’s here at the party, right?”
Mana’s brows furrowed slightly as he took a drag off his cigarette.
“Un, he’s here…As for what’s wrong, .I’m not sure, he didn’t say….But he didn’t write in his normal manner and he asked to see me, which doesn’t bode well in my opinion.”
Yu~ki and Kozi both murmured noises of agreement.
“Tell me if you see him around, will you?”
They all nodded.
Another “waitress” finally showed to take Yu~ki’s order, but this one was giggling as he tried to keep the hands of his fellow waitress from beneath his skirt. Eventually he managed to shoo the other boy off and cleared his throat.
“May I take your order Sir?”
“Whiskey sour,” Yu~ki answered. “Oh and can we get something to munch on?”
“But of course Sir,” the boy said with a very pretty smile and soon turned his attention to another table.
Just as Kozi was about to comment further on the Toshiya situation to keep Mana from getting upset, there was aloud coughing noise and someone tapping on the mike. The mike of course screeched in return and all eyes focused on the stage, where a rather sheepish looking Die was standing in a tuxedo.
“Ladies and gentleman, may I please have your attention~”
The din gradually died down and the harassing of various waitresses stopped as well.
“Konbanwa! First let me thank you for all showing up,” Die began with a big smile on his face. “I know the weather isn’t at its most pleasant tonight so we truly thank you for you attendance.”
There was some loud muttering from the more egotistical guests and Die tried to keep grinning rather than roll his eyes.
“We’ve got various entertainment lined up for tonight and a reputable DJ here to fill the gap between performances, so feel free to dance at whim ne.”
Applause.
“For our first----”
There was some commotion from offstage and Die tilted his head to listen better, grinning nervously.
“What I meant to say was,” he began again, “as you all know, tonight’s festivities would be in honor of our, um, beloved vocalist Kyo.”
More applause.
“Kyo, why don’t you---Ah, I’m sorry about this folks,” the guitarist said anxiously, bowing as he sidestepped his way offstage quickly.
The guests waited patiently for about 5 seconds before someone vocalized discontent.
“Why isn’t Shinya the MC??”
Die thrust his hand back into view and signaled for one more moment.
“Yeah, why isn’t Shinya up there?” another guest yelled in disappointment.
A flash of red could be seen as Die whipped his head back into view, eyebrows furrowed in displeasure as he heard that, but whatever was going on backstage dragged his attention back to the situation.
“We want Shinya! We want Shinya!”
Mana gave Kozi a stern look as the guitarist opened his mouth to join the chant. He grinned sheepishly and took out a cigarette instead.
“Kyo!” Die suddenly yelled in surprise and then covered his mouth, realizing he’d shouted into the mike. He had stuck his head out again to cut the chant off only to see the vocalist making his way into the building.
“How about a big round of applause for the birthday boy!” Die cried, looking extremely relieved as he walked back onstage and gestured towards the entrance.
There was a round of thunderous applause as Kyo stopped in his tracks, obviously not expecting such a welcome. Suddenly Toshiya appeared by his side, smiling and bowing to everyone as he grabbed a hold of Kyo’s arm and led him out of sight.
“That was a little weird,” Yu~ki mumbled and Kozi nodded his head.
“So let’s begin tonight’s lineup!” Die continued, smile a little more genuine now that he wasn’t going to get torn to shreds by the rest of his band. “I’m proud to present the first band of the night, B’z!!”
The curtains were pulled back and Die clapped his way offstage, smiling and bowing in the direction of Koshi as everyone continued to applaud. Koshi and Tak were in mid-wave as they set eyes upon the audience and froze. The clapping died down and a sea of androgynous painted faces stared back at them.
Someone had failed to enlighten them as to what kind of band Dir en grey was.
Tak coughed and then whispered under his breath.
“Koshi, they didn’t tell us we were performing for a bunch of women….I would have dressed better had I known it was for the ladies!”
Koshi smiled weakly and stopped waving, turning his head slightly to talk to the guitarist.
“Uh Tak, somehow I don’t think we’re dealing with women here….”
As if on cue, someone suddenly yelled “Koshi kakko ii!!!!” from the background in a less than feminine voice.
The two looked about ready to faint.
“I swear this is the last favor we ever do for anyone in management,” he muttered, grabbing the mike from its stand.
“Minna-san, genki?”
There was somewhat of a stir and some rather ardent cheering from random closet B’z fans.
“B’z desu!!!” Koshi yelled enthusiastically. “Let’s get this show on the road!”
There was more of a stir as the random closet B’z fans threatened their band mates into showing their appreciation.
“This is our latest single, Ultra Soul~”
And the band started to play whether everyone liked it or not.
~*~
“Man, when are we gonna give Kyo our presents?” Kozi asked as he sat down, a little exhausted from his sudden round of dancing with Yu~ki. A favorite song of theirs from when they were younger had started up and they both felt the need to dance before it ended. This could have been of course, partly due to the amount of alcohol they had consumed during the Cascade fiasco.
“There’s a table over there if you want to set them down,” Mana suggested, taking a sip of his drink. “But it says on the event list that Kyo’s to cut the cake before the next act appears.”
Kozi nodded and reached for a handful of peanuts. Seconds later Yu~ki came into the picture, sitting back down in the booth rather ungracefully but with excitement written all over his face.
“You guys will never guess what I just saw!” he practically squealed.
He looked to Kozi who seemed interested, then to Mana who seemed distant, then to Klaha who seemed statuesque in perhaps boredom, Yu~ki couldn’t tell.
“Um, was I interrupting something?” he added meekly, the look on Mana’s face reminding him he had been talking when he sat down.
“No, we were just talking about presents ne,” Kozi said with a reassuring smile.
“Which reminds me,” their leader suddenly spoke up, “what did you two end up getting Kyo?”
Kozi and Yu~ki looked to one another.
“Anoo…what did Klaha get Kyo?” Kozi asked in an effort to change the subject. Neither of them wanted to admit they’d stolen Moi Meme Moitie merchandise to give to Kyo because they’d procrastinated until the last minute.
“I got him a silver bracelet,” Klaha responded, looking to Mana for approval. The guitarist nodded absently.
“Good choice, can’t go wrong with that right,” Kozi nodded as he reached for more peanuts. “Hey um, weren’t you gonna say something earlier Yu-kun?” he asked while crunching on the nuts.
“Oh yeah! Yeah I was,” Yu~ki began, getting excited again. “You’ll never guess who I saw kissing!”
“Who?”
“Guess!”
“Mou Yu-kun I don’t want to guess,” Kozi lamented.
“You’re no fun….drink some more!” Yu~ki exclaimed and waved a hand to get a waitress’s attention.
“Now guess!” he continued, nudging the guitarist a little. When he got no response, he turned to look at his friend who was in turn looking at what Mana and Klaha were. Yu~ki’s eyes followed the trail.
“Oh my--those are HUGE!!!” Yu~ki exclaimed as he set eyes on what had been the topic of many conversations that night already.
A slender girl, decked out in a pale lilac dress and unbelievably high platforms walked past them, although that wasn’t what caught their eyes. She just so happened to be sporting cleavage that one could quite possibly lose a limb in and every man and woman in the dance hall had taken notice whether they wanted to or not.
“They are um, a little big, aren’t they,” Kozi murmured, intrigued that her back had yet to snap and keeping careful watch in case it did.
“Klaha, what do you think of that woman?” Mana asked softly, face unreadable as he too watched her walk by.
He looked away and refocused his attention on his drink.
“I think she’s fine for a woman, although I’m not sure whether to find her breasts attractive or revolting.”
Mana didn’t respond.
“What are you kidding me?? She’s a looker if I ever saw one,” Yu~ki protested.
Kozi looked to him in disbelief.
“You wouldn’t really go for her, would you Yu~ki?”
The bassist turned and gave him a look.
“Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been with a woman?”
Kozi’s face was blank. Innocently he pointed to the guitarist sitting beside him.
“Mana doesn’t count!”
Klaha interrupted then.
“Yu~ki-san! Don’t speak of Mana-sama in such a manner…..he’s on par with any lady and you’d do well to respect that!” he said in a heated voice.
Yu~ki’s mouth hung open as he tried to think of a response, but was too shocked to. Kozi’s eyes were wide with surprise as well.
“…Yu~ki’s right Klaha,” the guitarist in question retorted, eyes fixed on his dying cigarette. “I’m no lady.”
“I never will be,” he added, almost inaudibly.
“Mana-sama, I just wish for respect on your behalf,” Klaha said in his usual tone of voice, looking back at Yu~ki pointedly.
“Mana-chan knows I’m joking Klaha -- get over it,” the bassist managed to finally spit out.
A waitress finally appeared at their table, this one with glasses perched delicately on his nose and a serious air about him.
“Four shots of vodka for my friend and I here,” Yu~ki ordered, determined to get Kozi more tipsy than he already was.
“Four shots of vodka,” the young man repeated, scribbling on his pad. He looked over to Mana’s empty glass.
“Another of the same Sir?”
Mana nodded.
“Coming right up,” he said with a bow and a tight-lipped smile.
“Oh, and do you by any chance know who the lady in the lilac dress is here with tonight?” Yu~ki asked nonchalantly.
“That would be Shuse-san’s date Sir,” the boy replied, waiting for any further questions and then walking off briskly.
Yu~ki watched as the girl did indeed sit back down at La’Cryma’s booth.
“Actually you know Kozi, I think I just changed my mind. Here, let’s go grab a drink at the bar and then go introduce ourselves to Shuse’s friend over there before they bring out the cake.”
“But Yu-kun, I don’t think--”
“No buts Kozi! You owe me for introducing you to Shinya in the first place,” he stated and grabbed Kozi’s wrist, then on second hat grabbed his top hat and cane as well.
“Wahh Yu-kun women make me nervous~~” Kozi’s protesting faded as he got dragged farther away from the booth and onto the dance floor.
Mana watched the two of them leave silently, disregarding the fact that Klaha was studying him from the corner of his eye.
“Mana-sama….you need not tolerate --”
“I don’t wish to hear it Klaha,” the guitarist said curtly. For the first time that night he stood up, gathering his long dress about him and making his way out of the booth.
All Klaha could do was watch.
~*~
Mana pushed politely past the people surrounding him on the dance floor. Why had he come out here anyways? Wasn’t like he knew anything besides ballroom dancing and the Malice Mizer routines to begin with, and it wasn’t like even if he did he could move very fast with this hulking dress weighing him down.
Maybe it’s because I’m drunk, he thought to himself.
Which was the truth. He’d been ordering cocktail after cocktail after the first glasses of wine to drown out something, although he wasn’t sure what. Maybe it was the sight of all this young blood prancing around the party, reminding him of when he used to be full of hope and happy to have a band that was going somewhere, money in his pocket, and fans screaming out his name like they’d die if they didn’t. Back then it seemed so great…..now it seemed so tiresome. Or maybe that wasn’t it. Maybe he was worried. He had a habit of drinking fairly heavily when worried. But why would he be worried?
Oh right. Klaha ruining my band, how could I forget….
He sighed as he said excuse me for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t Klaha’s fault he’d happened to enter a band that used to be one of the greatest ever before things fell apart. How was he supposed to magically patch it all back together?
I’m just fooling myself. Nothing will ever be as good as it was when Kami was still alive…
He missed Kami. A lot. Even though they hadn’t been the best of friends, they’d still loved and respected one another, which was a lot to Mana seeing as he rarely felt that way towards anyone nowadays. Now all he had was a grave to speak to when he had problems and even then he rarely had the time to visit like he wanted to. Then again, that as well brought sorrow and remorse, for he felt like if he hadn’t had pushed Kami so hard he never would have died the way he did. He always felt like everything was his fault.
Because everything always is my fault, he mused sadly. I hired Klaha without letting him know what he was in for, I pushed Kami until he broke, and I threatened to fire Gackt over and over again until he left because…
It was when he realized where that thought was going he noticed exactly how drunk he really was.
“Excuse me,” he murmured louder as he picked up the pace, wanting to sit down before he made a fool of himself by crying in front of all these people.
Mana was in so much of a hurry, so completely lost in his own world due to the liquor, that he misplaced a heeled foot causing another guest to step on the hem of his dress and crash into him.
“I’m very sorry I---” he began in both embarrassment and agitation, but his words were cut off as he looked to the person he’d ran into.
A set of all-too-familiar blue eyes looked down at him.
~*~
“Gackt?” Masa called as he searched from table to table.
“Gackt-kun? Honey where are you?”
He pushed another person out the way rudely and ignored their cursing.
“Sweetie Ma-chan wants your company,” he mumbled to himself, a little pissed off at how Gackt had managed to lose him so easily.
Well if he wasn’t here he had to be on the dance floor…
He pushed past people until he thought he caught a glimpse of fabric that looked like Gackt’s shirt.
“Gackt-kun~~~!”
~*~
“…C-Camui?” Mana sputtered in surprise.
He couldn’t mistake those contacts or the gorgeous almond-shaped eyes for any other’s.
Gackt blinked twice.
“Mana-chan?” he murmured with a slight sigh, for he had taken to saying everything with a slight sigh nowadays.
Oh my god please let this not be happening….I am way too wasted to meet up with him now…, the guitarist thought desperately and he had a strange feeling that he might just pull something very un-Mana-like and faint.
“It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” he managed to force out, trying to make his voice as steady and uncaring as it could possibly be.
“It has, hasn’t it,” Gackt replied with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“….You’re stepping on my dress.”
Gackt looked down and saw the offending foot. He removed it.
They were silent for a moment as the singer looked to the ceiling and rolled his eyes around a bit in his patented way.
He spoke first.
“I love you you know.”
“….You’re drunk aren’t you?”
But Mana’s heart was already aching upon hearing those words because he wanted to believe them.
“No. You are though.”
Shit.
“No I’m not,” he retorted quickly.
“You are, or else you wouldn’t let me do this.”
Gackt wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close.
“Stop it Camui!” he hissed, but he didn’t pull his body away.
Gackt only held him tighter.
Needless to say, since the two were in the middle of the dance floor their meeting had been noticed by several other people. The fact that they were the only ones not moving also attracted more attention soon enough. Other couples and various acquaintances of the band began whispering and pointing, but both Gackt and Mana seemed oblivious to it all. And while people started backing away to give them their space, eventually someone tapped Toshiya’s shoulder and told him to look.
“Nan da---USO!!!” he cried happily upon eyeing the couple, hands flying to cover his mouth in disbelief.
He’d been giving one of his look-alike protégés makeup advice but this was bigger news than Max Factor’s latest shade of blue would ever be.
“Oh my god they’re finally getting together! I knew it! I knew it! Way to go Mana~~~!” he yelled louder in encouragement. Toshiya had a thing for traditional pairings and he would be damned if this one didn’t get established at Kyo’s party.
And of course, being a little tipsy himself, and a little over joyous at the open display of affection and homosexuality, Toshiya started a chant.
“Gackt and Ma~na! Gackt and Ma~na!” he sang loudly while clapping his hands.
The boy standing beside him reevaluated his original idea of telling the bassist to look but once Toshiya nudged him in the ribs, he too took up the chant. After all, Toshiya was paying attention to him and he, like many other indies band members, would happily jump in front of a train for the lovely man. Other guests heard the chant as well, and once they saw the enthusiasm Toshiya was putting forth they figured what the hell and picked it up as well.
“Gackt and Ma~na! Gackt and Ma~na!”
The words bounced off the high walls and spiraled above the music.
Gackt sighed and kissed Mana’s cheek, much to the delight of the female guests who began squealing like there was no tomorrow.
“Mana-chan…..dance with me.”
He couldn’t tear away from Gackt’s eyes. The vocalist appeared so sincere, so sober, so beautiful --- so everything Mana wasn’t and it made his chest ache even more. He’d fallen for the eccentric man the minute they had met and he hated him for that, resenting him despite his obvious talent and keenness on the guitarist, secretly wishing he would just go away and never come back….But he was always there and the fans adored him so much they couldn’t rid themselves of him…and then he became Kami’s best friend so there was no way they could make him leave after that. He plotted and he plotted and when Gackt had started declaring his love for him openly he wanted him to go away even more desperately…..because he couldn’t believe it. No matter how many times he said it, Mana had seen him with girl after girl…Stupid fawning pretty girls that always left his room giggling with their flushed cheeks. He wasn’t about to be like one of them. Be fucked and then tossed aside like garbage. Gackt didn’t know what real love was at all -- he was a flake and flakes couldn’t understand such a concept. At least that’s what he kept telling himself, because he didn’t want to get hurt….
He found himself resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.
And here he was, the man he loved and hated more than anything, the man he honestly asserted was dead when he was thinking straight, appearing out of nowhere and saying those words again. The words he had craved hearing so badly in his absence but loathed now that he could hear them again.
Yet this time he had no defense.
He was drunk and his only line of defense, his wit and his words, was gone, drowned in a small sea of pungent liquid and rendering him inane.
I hate my life, Mana thought as he closed his eyes and felt Gackt take his hand gently into his own, releasing his grip on the guitarist’s waist for a split second as he placed the other’s arm around his waist.
The brunette drew him close again and swayed lightly to music in his head, which seemed to be some sort of waltz because the current background music was way off the beat he was following.
“Holy shit they’re dancing! How romantic!” Toshiya cried with delight. “Someone tell the DJ to put Bois de merveilles on! Quick!” He looked down to the younger copy of himself and grabbed his arm. “HURRY!!!”
The boy yelped and dashed off, leather and lace fluttering about in his wake.
The bassist sighed happily and watched the two dance with dreamy eyes.
~*~
Masa stormed furiously over to the Malice Mizer booth, a murderous glare in his eyes.
Kozi, Yu~ki, and Klaha all looked up in surprise as the effeminate guitarist slammed his hands down on their table, although Yu~ki’s surprise was only mild because he was drinking himself into a stupor over his obligatory homosexuality, his attempts at winning over Shuse’s date having failed miserably. She thought he was with Kozi.
“Alright, which one of you freaks is bedding Mana?!!” he spat, steam practically pouring from his ears.
Kozi and Yu~ki looked to one another and then nonchalantly raised their hands. Then they both looked to Klaha expectantly, who returned their gaze with a look of astonishment, but then when he realized they weren’t buying it guiltily raised his hand as well.
Masa shook his mane of messy brown hair in frustration.
“Why?” Kozi asked. “You want to sleep with him or something? He may go for it but generally he likes guys in makeup…”
Masa’s head jerked up and he eyed Kozi like the man was certifiably insane.
“No you retard vampire wannabe because he’s flirting with my man!!!”
“Who’s your man?” Yu~ki inquired with a smirk on his lips. He called Kozi a vampire wannabe…
“…Are you stupid?! Gackt! I only give him head on stage at every concert, Jesus!!!” he snarled sarcastically.
Then the two men laughed.
“Gackt? Gackt?” Kozi laughed even harder, “I’m sorry but you must be mistaken…You see our Mana couldn’t last five seconds in a room with Gackt without knifing him in the eye, let alone flirt with him…”
Masa hated creepy men in makeup and he was starting to lose it.
“Then what the fuck do you call THAT?!!” he screamed, thrusting his arm out to point to the dance floor.
Kozi and Yu~ki’s eyes followed the length of his arm to his fingertip, where they were greeted by the sight of the guests on the dance floor cheering on the sidelines, Gackt and Mana waltzing in the middle of it all just as Bois de merveille started up in the background.
Their jaws dropped.
“Oh……shit. Shit shit shit,” Kozi said under his breath in disbelief. “How the fuck did Gackt get in here, and why didn’t anyone tell me…”
He turned on Klaha.
“Klaha, you were watching what Mana was drinking, right?”
Klaha, who had been following the whole scenario quietly, looked at the guitarist worriedly. All he knew was that Gackt’s sudden appearance didn’t seem to mean good news for him.
“…..Um, yes, I was.”
“And what was he drinking?”
“Something called Big Red*…”
Kozi leaned over the table and snatched up the other guitarist’s glass. He sniffed it.
“This smells like liquor. Hard liquor.”
He glared at Klaha.
“But he said it was soda….”
Kozi glared harder.
“He said it was from America and I wouldn’t know…”
Kozi looked like he was about to break the glass in his hand.
“He said I needed to mind my own business I don’t know! I was just doing what you told me to! You said always listen to Mana above everything else and that’s all I was doing I swear!” Klaha blurted in fright.
“Okay well I’m changing it -- Always listen to Mana unless he is lying to you so he can get RIPROARING DRUNK!!! Jesus fucking Christ Klaha don’t be so stupid! I tell you to keep him from getting wasted and you can’t even do that! You don’t know what Mana’s like when he starts drinking something other than wine…,” he finished exasperatedly.
“Yeah….for instance, he was wasted when he hired you,” Yu~ki piped up and sniggered.
“Okay enough of your dramatic shit~ someone just do something!!!” Masa cried in aggravation.
Kozi kept glaring at Klaha.
“You, go do something, this is your fault…”
Klaha pretended to be a vertebrate for a moment as he answered the glare defiantly, tired of being picked on,
“Why should I have to? You two are his friends anyways -- what makes you think Mana-sama will listen to me?”
Then he regretted it as Kozi looked ready to bash the glass against his forehead until he died a very painful death.
“Okay Klaha, I am going to disregard the fact that you think you can be uppity when you know jack shit about this band and it’s members…,” he began slowly but heatedly, like he was speaking to a child, “You see we can not talk to Gackt because Gackt does not think we exist. One day Yu~ki and I here thought it would be funny if we played a joke on Gackt and dress up as ghosts to scare him because we were tired of listening to his little childhood fairytales of schizophrenia. But the thing is, it worked, and it worked really well because from then on he claimed there were spirits haunting his band to anyone who would listen and pretended we didn’t exist or kept telling us to go away and not hurt him. He believed that until the day he left, because he bought Kami and Mana a bunch of religious charms and told them all sorts of rituals they should do to get rid of us. Then he decided if he wore a cross and counting beads forever someone up there would protect him from us following after him. Now that you can see why we can’t possibly go speak to him, and now that you have wasted precious moments of all of our time by making me tell you this, I suggest you go assert yourself as Mana’s escort because Gackt now has his tongue down Mana’s throat.”
He pointed to the dance floor case in point, Gackt having paused their dancing for a moment so he could exercise his tongue. Masa’s head looked ready to explode.
“And if you don’t it’ll be your ass he fires in drunken decision so he can have Gackt back, and as much as we hate you, neither of us wants Gackt’s crazy egotistical ass in your place. Do you understand?”
The new vocalist was about to answer when Masa grabbed his arm and started dragging him out of the booth.
“I don’t care if he understands or not!!! I am not about to lose Gackt to that freak after I spent all that time hiding the mirrors in his room so he couldn’t fucking jer--” Masa realized what he was saying and cut the sentence short as he threw Klaha to his feet, “GO BEFORE I KILL YOU!!!”
Klaha stumbled to his feet and hurriedly brushed off his expensive suit before he strode briskly into the crowd just as ma cherie finished and Gekka no Yasoukyouku started up.
Yu~ki groaned as Gackt and Mana slipped into a dance they’d done on stage so many times before.
“Oh god Kozi….he’s smiling…” he noted miserably, eying the blush of pleasure on Mana’s cheeks and the small smile on his face. “I always knew he hated Gackt too much for something fishy not to be going on….”
“I know, I know Yu-kun,” Kozi patted the drunken man’s back, “it’ll be okay….I hope.”
Masa stood beside the table with his arms crossed as he eyed the two on the dance floor angrily.
“I hope your guitarist trips on that god awful dress of his and I sincerely hope that vocalist of yours isn’t as incompetent as he seems,” he mumbled meanly.
Kozi and Yu~ki looked to one another again.
“So do we.”
~*~
Taka watched agitatedly as the infamous couple stole the floor.
First off, he thought Gackt was over Mana.
As much as he liked a happy Gackt, he didn’t like a happy Gackt if it entailed infatuation with a cross-dressing freak of nature who treated him like shit. Mana was no good for his friend and he’d tried a million times to tell him that, but Gackt always zoned out the minute he hit the topic and it always ended with a vacant smile and nod. He had a sneaking suspicion Gackt had began losing it because of Mana to begin with. Because even though he was a little off back in the day, his time spent with Malice Mizer had made him way off---Taka had began noticing the change when Gackt had declared his love for the man and Mana had basically laughed in his face. Repeatedly. In Taka’s opinion his friend was much better off with a real woman, not some half-assed imitation, or even his little fanservice boy Masa for crying out loud. At least they were no threat to him or his sanity. That’s definitely what he needed -- a nice, harmless person who wouldn’t mind having sex on a daily basis and wouldn’t fuck around with his head. Taka was sure there were a lot of people who could fit the bill. He’d found a few himself out of concern and suggested Gackt try them out, but generally sex was the only thing his friend ended up interested in and always said they didn’t “fill him”---his eccentric speech for a lack of feeling. Of love, because as Taka knew well, Gackt and his obsession for true love was the only thing that kept him going. Although why the hell he thought Mana was The One was beyond Taka. He didn’t like that despite the distance he hadn’t given up on his unrealistic romanticist ways that Taka was once again sure Mana had implanted in his brain along the way. All he wanted to see was the man settled for once considering he wasn’t getting any younger; settled with someone of either sex, Taka didn’t care, as long as it was stable. Stability was what Gackt needed above everything else.
He sighed.
And he sure as hell isn’t going to get it chasing that drag queen. He’s probably infested with all sorts of diseases…and really ugly under the makeup. What kind of normal life does he have to offer at all? What kind of normality does he have to offer at all? Kimouchi warui aitsu wa….Hmph. Poor Gackt, why don’t you listen to me? Why don’t you leave that mess and come listen to me, stop having your heart dragged through the mud by that jerk….Come talk to me dammit!!!
That was another thing. No one was talking to him.
Taka did not like to be the farthest from the center of attention. Outskirts sucked.
He’d thought Gackt’s arrival had meant he’d have someone to chat with throughout the night since Koji thought it was his job to entertain Jun, Levin had a date, Hiro had a date, and for gods’ sake even Shuse had a date. Gackt had Masa but he was ranked higher in Gackt’s favor than Masa so he knew Gackt would have been talking to him. He was ranked higher in the bishounen’s favor than just about everyone else….except Mana.
His eyes narrowed.
So he was alone, slowly but surely getting smashed, with no one to laugh with, no one to wrap an arm around, and no one to continue talking about toiletries with. And it wasn’t even like he could go man-hunting because there was only one man he wanted, and he was currently engaged in having the time of his life with someone else.
He snuck a glance at Hiro, who had his arm around Jun and was laughing with both him and Shuse about something.
What the fuck is this? I’m being ignored, my best friend is endeavoring to woo an abusive asshole, and to make it worse, Hiro is so engrossed in that little twerp Jun he hasn’t looked at me all night. Fuck I should be on that dance floor, in Hiro’s arms, with Tori ni Naru Hi playing in the background….Hiro….
Taka was not the type who could be content with having someone he loved find happiness with someone other than him. It was really starting to piss him off. He thought it was just a phase, that Hiro would snap out of dating someone other than the one he was destined to be with, who was with him everyday, who had waited patiently, monogamously for years for him to take that special kind of interest….It really sucked. And hurt. It was almost as bad as Gackt’s situation except he didn’t have it in him to fool around while waiting. Stupid Jun came out of nowhere, played one fucking concert with them and Hiro had snatched him up like that and fawned over him like there was no tomorrow. Hiro had never fawned over him, not even once, not even when drunk…It was unfair. Jun didn’t even know Hiro. Jun didn’t know what shampoo Hiro liked and the weird way he folded his clothing or even that he hated soda unless it had liquor in it. Taka knew these kinds of things because he’d been watching over Hiro for forever. It was so fucking unfair!!
He downed the rest of his drink and slammed the glass down, but the background ambiance was so loud no one heard.
He wanted someone to be pissed with, but it was proving difficult. Mana was pissing him off by seducing Gackt, but if he took his anger out on Mana he knew Gackt wouldn’t hesitate to pop him back because he was in all mighty courtier mode or something close to that. Well rather his schizo-effective bi-polarity or whatever the hell the psychiatrist said he had was probably acting up again. So that knocked that one down. He also wanted to kick Jun’s cute face in but Shuse was supposed to do that anyway for him and he couldn’t have Hiro hate him for trying to kill his boyfriend. Hiro was forgiving when it came to verbal harassment, but not when it came to actual violence. So Jun was off the list too.
Stupid Jun, stupid fucking Jun, stealing my Hiro away from me when I was so close…Kono yarou…Pisses me off to high hell, crappy little smile and his fluffy hair jesus buy a goddamn bunny rabbit why don’t you Hiro….Grrrr…he’s almost as bad as---
Then Taka remembered the root of all problems, and why he’d lost Hiro to begin with.
Suddenly he had the drunken rationale that even though he couldn’t fix things, he could sure as hell make himself feel better about them.
And thus Taka decided he was going to beat Toshiya’s ass.
~*~
Gackt and Mana bowed habitually as the song finished and the onlookers clapped again as a few people (Toshiya and the female yaoi fans) whistled.
“Do you want something to drink Mana-chan?” Gackt asked quietly, still smiling.
Mana nodded, totally oblivious to anything save for the perfect smile.
“Then come with me my princess.”
Mana blushed even further as Gackt wrapped his arm around his waist and led him off of the dance floor and to the table with the punch bowl on it. He tried not to notice the smiles other people were giving the two of them or the fact that Gackt was now singing Au Revoir to himself. He hit the “anata o dakishime, nemuritai” part just as he finished pouring the two of them drinks and handed the guitarist a cup. Mana wanted to melt in a puddle and never be swept up.
Gackt, being one of the most trained people on Earth in the art of pheromone detection, noticed this and smiled wider as he took a sip from his cup and set it back down.
“So Mana-chan….have you missed me?” he asked softly, running a finger along the smooth skin of the other man’s exposed neck.
Mana nearly dropped his cup and had to set it down.
Gackt quickly closed in on any existing space between the two of them.
“I bet that Klaha guy’s no substitute for me is he….”
He tilted his head a bit and kissed where he had ran his finger.
“…bet he couldn’t give it to you like I could….”
Mana’s knees went weak. Another thing he’d forgotten Gackt was good at -- being perverted.
“That sounds good right now doesn’t it baby? We could ditch this party and have our own…I’m sure you’ve still got all those negligees Kozi used to talk about…..”
He kissed his neck again, but this time he took a small portion of flesh in his mouth. Arms wrapped around Mana’s thin body and he had a feeling if his dress wasn’t floor length hands would already be up it.
He moaned.
“I could make you scream you know…,” he murmured into his ear hotly, “I could top everyone you’ve ever been with…I could pin you down, tie you up, rip that negligee of yours and…”
“Camui….stop it…” he whispered shakily, pressing himself against the brunette.
“…fuck you senseless, make you weak with need, make it so you never had another orgasm without crying out my name……”
Mana moaned again as he tried to hide his flushed face in Gackt’s chest while the other just smiled and kissed his hair.
“You want it don’t you Mana-chan? Want me inside you, want me pleasing you, teasing you, biting your neck and sucking your---”
A loud cough followed by a choking noise and gasping for air interrupted his lewd speech. Gackt looked up.
Klaha was standing behind Mana, face red as a beet with his hand covering his nose in case blood was pouring from it. He’d never heard anyone talk like that in his life. And to his guitarist! To Mana-sama, the man who designed all of his clothing and regulated his diet and told him what to do and how to do it and gave him head on the rare occasions that he felt generous…How dare he. Who did he think he was? Klaha had been waiting patiently for a pause in interaction between the two of them so he could take Mana back to the table and keep his ass from being beat, but never had he expected for Gackt to continue the way he did. The fiend! Now he was angry…
“How dare you speak to Mana-sama like that! Unhand him this instant!” he demanded in ye old aristocratic manner, trying to keep his image intact.
Gackt blinked twice. He seemed puzzled and held Mana closer.
“Mana-chan, who is this man?”
The cross-dresser looked up from his hiding place and put his fantasy of Gackt fucking him senseless on hold for a moment so he could see what was going on. Gackt nodded in the direction of whom he was speaking about.
Mana turned his head and all that came out was a strangled “You?”.
He honestly couldn’t remember Klaha’s name.
“Mana-sama I’m here to escort you back to our table. Away from this vulgar man,” he added righteously.
“Who is he Mana-chan?” Gackt demanded again.
“…..He’s not you,” the guitarist murmured and went back to burying his face in the brunette’s chest.
“Naruhodo,” he replied with a victorious smile on his face.
Klaha didn’t like the way this was heading but tried not to be too downtrodden and persevere.
“Mana-sama knows who I am and so do you. I happen to be the new vocalist for Malice Mizer and as you can see my dear Mana-sama,” he paused as he realized how stupid it was to try and use terms of endearment when he couldn’t stop saying ‘sama’, “is quite drunk and I would request that you cease trying to take advantage of him if you respect him and our band in the least.”
Gackt laughed.
“Funny…you look much too pathetic to fill my shoes. Too pathetic and too…ugly. Mana-chan knows better than to associate himself with someone like you.”
Klaha’s jaw nearly dropped to the floor at the insult.
“You’d do well not to speak for the lady like that,” he tried to remember an aristocratic insult, “imbecile!”
Gackt snorted and petted Mana’s hair, the latter content with snuggling up against him.
“Vas te foutre*,” the brunette murmured as he stared Klaha down. Mana’s back went rigid and he pulled back a little to look at Gackt’s face.
“Camui, you really did care…,” he said softly in an almost reverent tone as he felt emotion whirling up inside him. He’d tried so hard to get Gackt to learn French properly the fact that he remembered anything made him close to tears.
“Of course I did ma cherie…I still do. Not like this moron Klaha here trying to tear us apart. ”
Klaha blushed again, partially in anger and partially because he was still in a first level French class and Gackt sure as hell hadn’t said good morning. And the way they were staring into each other’s eyes…He was vocalist now! Mana was his guitarist! Not Gackt’s! Masa was Gackt’s fruity guitarist and his lack of monogamy was plain shameful! Toying with another’s heart like that…
“I will have you know I am not a moron Gackt-san and the lady here is under my care! You’d be wise to concern yourself with your own date instead of mine!”
He thought about doing something valiant like grabbing Mana’s arm but Gackt’s embrace was practically engulfing the petite man and doing so would entail hurting his leader…He tried his best look threatening and vampiric as he stared challengingly at Gackt.
Something he’d said didn’t seem to sit to well with the goth-turned-pop star because his eyes narrowed for a moment.
“Listen motherfucker I’m getting tired of you and your snotty attitude and your stupid name. Now leave us alone or I make you leave us alone,” Gackt said in the same deep, even tone he’d been using all night, a smile playing on his lips.
Motherfucker? Motherfucker??? No one had ever called him that before!!!
Klaha bristled and stood as tall as he could.
“Don’t insult my mother jerk! I happen to have normal sexual affixations thank you very much! Unlike you…you..you and your mirrors!!!”
The smile dropped from Gackt’s face at that comment and he gently pried Mana off of his body.
“Mana-chan, be a good girl and wait for Camui while he punches in the face of your new vocalist okay?” he said sweetly and Mana nodded, smiling a little as Gackt kissed his forehead.
When Gackt started rolling up his sleeves, Klaha knew he was in for it.
~*~
Masa watched in disbelief as his boyfriend got ready to pulverize Klaha into the floor.
That fucking moron!! All he’s done is get Gackt angry when he was supposed to get that slut Mana away from him…ARRRGGGHHH MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF???
Masa wanted to slap his forehead but knew it would waste time, already jogging in the direction of a certain guest, knowing they may be the only one to save his precious Gackt from the evil witch Mana.
I’m coming baby, just you wait…
~*~
Klaha swallowed hard and tried to think of the best way to fight aristocratically. Then he realized aristocrats hired other people to do their fighting for them and that he was, in a word, screwed.
Big time.
Gackt finished rolling up his other sleeve and advanced towards him.
“Gackt-san, it would be indecent of us to shed blood before the lady,” he said hastily, taking a small step away from the man who was toned much better than he.
“Shut up,” came the snarled response.
Klaha balled his hand into a fist nervously. This was not looking good.
“Gackt-san it would be rude of us to interrupt this lovely party with our quarrelling,” he tried again, but Gackt was already pulling back his fist and taking aim.
Just as Klaha was about to squeal “No, don’t hit me!”, another voice interrupted their conversation.
“GACKT! BREASTS!!!”
Gackt’s fist halted in mid-flight as he turned his head towards the voice.
Masa was standing nearby looking out of breath as he waved his hand in the air to get Gackt’s attention. Beside him stood a smiling woman with the biggest breasts Gackt had ever seen.
His hand went limp instantly as he walked towards the couple, hypnotized by the round orbs.
Klaha nearly fainted with relief and sagged against the refreshment table.
“Here Gackt-kun, come get a load of her nice rack,” Masa said cheerfully between clenched teeth. The bleached blonde merely giggled and waved shyly as she saw Gackt coming closer.
Masa had successfully taken advantage of Gackt’s one weakness---female breasts. It was an addiction he couldn’t manage to kick.
“See look Gackt-kun, all big and, um, round and bouncy or something,” he said sweetly while pushing the girl and 500,000yen worth of surgery closer.
Gackt stared, a small strand of saliva trickling from the corner of his mouth.
“You can touch them if you want,” she said with a big smile on her face. “They’re already paid for.”
She giggled harder as he ran a hand over the exposed cleavage reverently.
“See, Mana could never offer you this,” Masa said with another forced smile, his tolerance being tested as he artfully removed Gackt’s hand before he managed to touch more inappropriately.
It was obvious the vocalist was having to wrestle his eyes away as he turned to Masa and said,
“Neither could you.”
Then Masa lost it. He didn’t put up with mirrors and Mana and mutated breasts to have Gackt talk shit to him.
“Okay Gackt need I remind you that there is not a woman on Earth besides your mother who can stand you and your ego for more than five minutes?!!” he spat and crossed his arms.
Gackt seemed to ponder that.
“You’re right. I love you Mana.”
“WHAT?!!!”
“I said I love you Masa,” he repeated and blinked accordingly.
Masa wanted to tear his hair out in frustration over babysitting Gackt, but instead he let out a long sigh.
“I need a drink. Something hard. Definitely hard.”
“I’ll give you hard…,” he heard Gackt murmur instinctively.
“Shut up Gackt and move your ass to the bar! NOW!!!” he practically screeched and Gackt did as he was told, almost falling over a chair as he attempted to walk forward and look behind him at the woman’s beautiful breasts at the same time. Masa refrained from grabbing his hair and dragging him like every cell in his body wanted to but grabbed his wrist instead and hauled him off heatedly.
“Don’t be a stranger!” the girl called back joyfully, waving again.
~*~
Mana watched in utter disbelief. Gackt had told him he loved him, danced with him, kissed him, pampered him, called him princess, spoke French, stroked his hair, invited him into his bed, nearly beat the shit out of his new vocalist in possessiveness and then he had left him? Left him for a woman? For a woman with huge fake breasts and some goofy looking kid pimping her?! How could he have been so stupid? He actually thought Gackt was serious this time, to say such things after so long…how could he be so easily fooled, so blind, so naïve, so fucking incompetent….For a goddamn woman, just like the ones he used to tote back stage and --oh god it made him sick. And angry. Very very angry. At Gackt and at…her.
Before he knew what he was doing Mana was briskly walking towards the woman.
“Mana-sama? Will you come back with me now?” he heard a small voice say.
“Shut up Klaha,” he spat and kept steady on his course.
“Oh okay.”
Klaha had had enough of trying to control Mana for the night.
Mana walked straight towards her, not sure of what he was going to do, but knowing it was bound to be unsightly. She had turned her back to him when she waved goodbye to Gackt and suddenly he was touching her shoulder to get her attention. She spun around.
“Can I help you?” she said cheerfully, her heels outdoing even Mana’s as she looked over the top of his head on accident.
Mana stared at her face. It was tanned, her eyes slathered with pale lilac and her lips painted in baby pink. Fake lashes rivaling his own sprouted from her eyes and she had blue contacts in. Her teeth were crooked, the cute kind of crooked, and her hair long and blonde. She was trying hard not to be Japanese.
“Yeah….I wanted to see what was so great about your fake breasts,” he mumbled sourly, but she didn’t seem to take offense.
“You can touch them if you want….Can I touch your hair? You’re so pretty….”
Mana was kind of taken aback by that but didn’t answer as he poked one firm orb. Even Yu~ki had said he wanted her…
“They’re not even soft…”
She giggled.
“I know but if they’re soft they don’t look like men want them too. And I have to make a living by pleasing men.”
She was still smiling but her voice seemed sad as she said those words.
“How much did they cost?” Mana asked in a slightly gentler tone, trying to ignore the twinge of guilt he felt.
“Mmm around 500,000yen…but I got them for cheaper because the doctor and I were…um, friends…I’m sorry, what happened? Was it cancer or were you born that way?” she asked softly.
Mana wondered what she was talking about until he saw her staring at his chest.
His extremely flat chest.
“I was….born this way….”
“You know you’re so pretty…I bet if you had a little work done you could have any man you want.”
She winked.
“I would kill to have skin like yours…..Pale and soft….and your face is so perfect….I had to have work done on mine…They said they’d fire me if I didn’t.”
Amazingly she was still smiling.
“You….you think I would be prettier if I had bigger breasts?” he asked softly.
“You’re lovely as you are now, I think it would just boost that feminine shape of yours. And it’ll boost your self-esteem. You know, it’s horrible to say that but it does.”
“Yeah…..right…”
He looked at her chest again and thought about his own body…How all he ever wanted was to look like a woman….wanted to be one so it wasn’t strange to love a man, to be loved by a man….all he wanted was to keep Gackt’s attention…..And she had done so…because….
His eyes drifted to her face again and she smiled.
Suddenly he realized what he’d been seriously contemplating for a few moments and felt a strong urge to vomit.
“I’m sorry, I have to go to the restroom….It was nice meeting you,” he said with a weak smile.
“It was nice meeting you too,” she said smiling back.
He lifted his skirt off the floor to keep from tripping over it as he bowed and turned away from the woman, walking hurriedly towards the restroom. Tears were already slipping from the corners of his eyes and he stood between two doors, eyeing the ‘men’ and ‘ladies’ signs for a second before he rushed into the latter, hoping that the lack of female guests would save him.
I’m so fucking stupid…So fucking pathetic….
Mana refrained from looking at his reflection as he opened a stall door and dragged his dress and train inside the narrow compartment with mild difficulty due to it’s size. Once he had managed to fit it all in he shut the door and threw down the toilet seat lid, his body slumping down on top of it as he buried his face in his hands and cried.
I hate you Camui…I hate you for making me love you, for making me want you…I hate you for your charisma, for your looks, for your voice and your eyes…For your lies, for your hormones, for your disregard and self-indulgence…That all you ever want is to satisfy your lust, to please yourself, to have people at your mercy physically and emotionally….Your stupid fucking ego and your stupid fucking dick and those stupid fucking women who satisfy both…..
He slammed a fist into the wall.
I hate you because you make me hate myself, make me feel so inadequate, so ugly, so fake and made up…..I could never match those girls with their cute faces and their curved bodies and their nice breasts….Could never compete with what they were born with….They don’t understand, you don’t understand, to be born different from how you were meant to be…..You’d love me for real if I looked like that wouldn’t you? If my body had curves and my voice was pretty and melodic instead of the soft one I have to use now so no one can hear how ugly and manly it is…..Why do you tease me? Am I that disgusting? Do you have to throw it in my face even when you no longer have to see me? Isn’t it enough that everyone laughs at the thought of you with someone as pathetic as myself when you could do so much better? How long do you have to drag out the joke for attention? How long must you make me suffer?
Mana realized he was ruining his white gloves with makeup and hurriedly grabbed some toilet paper to wipe his face.
Make me love you and fantasize about you…How perfect it would be to lie in your arms….How I’d never need anyone else again….You sick bastard, you sick, sadistic bastard….I never did anything to you….Why are you so cruel to me….
He patted the paper harder against his eyes and tried to control his sobbing.
I hate you Camui. I’m no one’s toy. I don’t need to be jerked around on a chain. My life is hell as it is.
One last sob escaped his lips as he regained control of his breathing.
I hate you Camui, I really do.
~*~
Masa drank the last of his daiquiri from the glass, screwing the straw because he didn’t have time for it. He wasn’t quite sure whose drink this daiquiri was either, but he was desperate for alcohol and the bartender didn’t seem to care with the way he was serving everybody but him. The glass hit the marble with a tink as he searched for another abandoned drink.
At least if he got wasted Gackt might try and take advantage of him and finally make good on the babysitting…
“Gackt-kun,” he said as he eyed an ownerless glass of beer, “you want something to drink? I’ll buy if the goddamn bartender ever looks this way…”
He turned his head to smile at his boyfriend who was sitting on the stool next to him, only to find he was talking to thin air.
Gackt was gone.
……..Fuck.
~*~
Mana’s heart stopped as he saw the elbow peeking past the wall because he knew the fabric of the shirt. He had been pressed against it only a short while ago, the cologne imbued within it still lingering on his own clothes. He couldn’t leave the restroom if he was there. Guarding the door like he was waiting for the moment to humiliate him further, to keep him trapped in his angst and misery forever and watch when it suited him.
Fuck you Camui, you don’t intimidate me.
The guitarist strode through the bathroom hall and out the exit as calmly as he could, pretending to be oblivious to the figure leaning against the wall.
A hand shot out and grabbed him arm.
“Why are you here?” Mana said emotionlessly, refusing to turn around.
“I heard you crying in the ladies room. You sound like a man when you cry you know.”
Mana felt his teeth grinding in rage.
“Why were you crying?”
But he couldn’t answer.
“Mana-chan I love you,” Gackt said again, his grip tight.
Mana froze at hearing those words for the second time that night. Gackt had a sick sense of humor indeed.
He said nothing, the beautiful man standing behind him, holding him in place with a single hand.
“I said I love you Mana-chan,” he repeated.
Mana turned around.
“Well I hate you,” he hissed.
Gackt’s face turned aside at the force of the guitarist’s slap.
“Now let me go.”
But the vocalist didn’t relinquish his hold.
“I said let me go!” Mana hissed again, afraid the tears were going to start once more.
Gackt’s face was still turned aside but his eyes focused on the other man’s face.
“No,” he said quietly. “You’re mine.”
Mana couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“You…you…”
He was so angry he couldn’t speak. Gackt stood up straight and readjusted his grip on the thin arm, making it tighter.
“You fucking crazy bastard….You think you can treat me like this? Act like you care, tell me you love me, kiss me when all you want is another whore? Tell me lies because you’re tired of playing with that fucking idiotic guitarist of yours and whatever women you’re screwing on the side? You know why don’t you just buy a pair of implants to play with in your spare time? Why even bother with real people Camui when you treat them like shit to begin with? Implants don’t have feelings you know, they don’t care when you leave in the morning for new flesh,” he spat furiously, trying to hold back the tears.
Gackt looked to him with vacant eyes.
“I already own a pair of implants to play with. But Mana-chan I love you, aren’t you listening?”
He pulled the effeminate man against his chest, but this time Mana struggled to get away from him. Gackt seemed oblivious to the resistance as he wrapped his arms around the other man, resting his cheek against his hair as he continued.
“I love you but you never listen…Masa means nothing to me. He’s just a dog I keep around for appearances--”
“WHAT?!!!” a shrill voiced screeched.
Gackt looked up to see that his ‘dog’ had found him, just in time to hear those last two sentences. He slackened his hold on Mana for a moment as he stood up straight again and Mana immediately jerked away, but Gackt was faster and kept a firm grip on his wrist.
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY???” Masa screamed again in disbelief.
Gackt sighed and donned his bored face.
“Masa calm down, you’re being a nuisance.”
Masa’s mouth hung open in shock.
“A…a..a NUISANCE???” he finally sputtered out.
The blue eyes looked to him in question of his mental capabilities.
“Masa don’t interrupt me when I’m speaking to other people. Now sit down and get a hold of yourself.”
Masa stared in lack of comprehension.
“Masa sit.”
Gackt pointed to a chair next to the guitarist.
“Masa osuware*.”
He felt like his eyeballs were going to pop out of his head.
“Osuware.”
Gackt continued to stare at him expectantly.
“Osuware.”
Masa felt his body moving towards the chair in astonishment, unable to stand any longer. Then he realized what he was doing and that was the last straw.
“You…you…”
He couldn’t find the right word for Gackt’s complete and utter arrogance.
“After all I’ve done for you……I HOPE A MIRROR FALLS ON YOU AND YOU DIE BITCH!!!” he yelled in a rather girly manner with his eyes shut and ran off before he lost his sanity.
Gackt and Mana watched his hair fly around wildly as he pushed and shoved his way past people and out of their sight.
“See?” he said expectantly as he turned his attention back to Mana.
One realization dawned upon Mana at that moment. Gackt wasn’t just flaky anymore---he was one screw short of the whole frame collapsing.
“He’s not important.”
The guitarist flinched as Gackt began caressing his face.
“You are.”
And then his eyes were looking into Mana’s. Into them for once, not through them or around them as he did so frequently with everyone.
“I won’t lie to you. I like women. I like the way they look. They satisfy my sexual desires,” he said bluntly.
A look of disgust began creeping into Mana’s usually unreadable features.
“But you, you do more than that. You always have. I know what you think Mana-chan. But I need everything satisfied. And you refused to do it back then. I got girls to fill half the need instead. I still do and I’m not ashamed. Tonight I know what you thought, that woman with her breasts. But if I would have hit Klaha, your career…”
Mana felt himself being wrapped up in Gackt’s embrace again.
“Now that you’re not in charge anymore, you listen to me….I love you and I’ll make you see it one way or another. And if I have to kill Klaha I don’t mind, or anyone else so long as you don’t. Let’s go home Mana-chan, get away from everyone, away from their prying eyes and gossiping mouths…I won’t have you refuse me anymore. Tonight I want your body, I want your soul, I want you to realize what I am to you…”
He kissed his ear.
“…and I won’t take no for an answer.”
The kiss moved lower and slowly became more rough, Mana feeling the brunette’s teeth nip at the soft flesh continually in gratification of the neck fetish he didn’t think Gackt knew he had. While his body enjoyed the sensation, the promise of sex and ecstasy, his mind did not. Gackt’s logic was flawed and he knew it, he knew this was a game, knew it was all another lie from someone who’s beauty was so real but words always so false. He was still angry, still humiliated, still wanted to see nothing more than the vocalist placed in the same position as he was, even though he knew it wouldn’t happen. Gackt kept a lot of strings in his pocket and he didn’t hesitate to tie people up and use them as puppets, although Mana had never seen the situation reversed.
He’s always been this way…..always thought people were put on this planet to serve him…And why am I listening, why am I tolerating it, why does it feel so good to have him do this to me, to lie to me and declare his artificial love when all it is is manipulation, plain and simple…. I can’t think of a thing to say because of his lips, because he holds me closer than anyone ever has, disregards any authority I hold and treats me like--
His mind stopped for a moment, Gackt still kissing his neck as the thought seemed to puzzle him, his eyes narrowing in drunken confusion.
…like a girl?
“My Mana-chan, you smell so sweet…..you look so pretty, so perfect…”
But that couldn’t be right because that was what he had wanted all along, and there was no way Gackt was capable of giving him anything he wanted because he was too much of a fruitcake to do so, and the thought didn’t make sense to begin with and maybe nothing was making sense because he was just too damn gone and the lovely body pressed against his own helped nothing…
“…just like a doll wrapped up in all this lace and taffeta….like a bride or a bridesmaid…”
Gackt stopped cuddling him for a second as a thought struck him.
“Hey, you wanna marry me?”
Mana’s heart skipped a beat in shock.
“…..What?”
The vocalist eased up on smothering him and loosened his hold so they could look at one another’s faces.
“I said do you want to marry me? We could do it, I’m rich you know.”
The guitarist simply stared. The look on his beloved’s face was too serious to be sane and Mana felt his sorrow returning tenfold, hatred pushed aside as he became genuinely concerned.
“Camui….are you still seeing the psychiatrist?”
The blank look on Gackt’s face more than already answered his question.
“Who?”
“The doctor Camui, the doctor we started sending you to when you were with us….”
“Oh him? No, I don’t need the witch doctor anymore,” he said with a smile, “I have my cross and my beads so the ghosts have stopped following me.”
Mana sighed and rested his cheek against Gackt’s chest. He heart ached, his eyesight was blurry, and the man he loved in all probability was safer off the streets and in a padded room. Nothing ever went right for him.
“So will you marry me?” he asked again.
The guitarist couldn’t even begin to explain how impossible that idea was or him saying it in such a manner, nor did he want to.
“Camui,” he began softly, “I….. I hate you.”
It was all that seemed to want to leave his lips.
…..Although I wish I was like you, able to say such things as if there were no consequences to them, tell you I love you, I need you, how I want the two of us to get away from all this….What a strange fantasy you have, marriage….You of all people…….If only I could pretend it was all real, that you were going to this trouble because you love me, not because you’re deranged and wanting a new victim….If I could pretend that is was the beginning again, that we were care-free and in love with life, with each other, that everything felt good again….no worries, no responsibility…just your lovely voice and my music….Oh Camui….
“I know you do Mana-chan, but I know there’s more than one color to that flame…It flickers in front of me but you won’t let me touch, won’t give a name to the sensation of my hands coming too close….”
He looked into the other set of blue eyes intently.
Why, why do you have to be so beautiful, say such things…Why? Why must you torture me after so long? Sound so sincere…why……?!
“Name it Mana, name it and I won’t let you regret…”
He felt trapped as the calm voice slithered through his veins and warmed his cheeks, stroked his eyes until the tears were welling again….
“Camui….”
….But how bad could it be, to pretend for a night? Just one night….Pretend everything is real…pretend you….for only a night….only tonight….No one would know… I can walk away in the morning, I always do….just live this one fantasy….It’s not like I don’t want it…don’t want him touching me…don’t want him near me, his hands on my skin…his body on top of mine…his breathing ragged and…
He felt Gackt’s cheek pressing against his own in a feline manner as he whispered into his ear again.
“Name it…”
I don’t want to….I don’t want to, I’m afraid….afraid…sex is one thing, but…
“Say it princess, I won’t let you get hurt….”
And upon hearing those words Mana lost the will to fight.
“…..Love….I..love you….”
~*~
By the time Kozi had made his way over to Klaha, he knew all of his fears had come true.
Klaha looked a way that he had never seen him before, even before he had been hired for the band. His back was turned to him, his pale hands gripping the refreshment table so hard his knuckles had become colorless. His raven-coloured hair fell forward, covering his face. The muscles in his back were visibly tense, despite the coat he had donned. One could tell from his body language he was upset, and Kozi knew this time the rift of humiliation ran much deeper than anything he or Yu~ki had ever pulled on the other man. Maybe it was the liquor talking, but he had honestly thought Klaha stood a chance against Gackt. He thought that maybe if he had pushed him enough, finally the vocalist would break free of his shell and stand up to all of them and prove them wrong. He had never expected Gackt to be that strong-willed. He had never expected Gackt to show up. And he had never expected to see Mana let himself be taken by the man who had caused them all enough grief already.
“Klaha….,” Kozi had began softly.
The other man was silent, and Kozi validly feared that he had lost yet another vocalist.
“Klaha listen….that wasn’t your fault…Gackt….Gackt and Mana have known each other for a long time….”
He watched as Klaha’s body shook slightly.
“If we would have known he’d be here, we wouldn’t ha ---”
“Why do I even bother,” the vocalist said between clenched teeth, the words almost a hiss.
Kozi took a few steps closer.
“Klaha, listen…”
“No Kozi, tell me….why do I even bother?”
He let go of the table and stood straight up, turning around and facing the guitarist. Kozi was taken aback by the look of angst that haunted Klaha’s almond-shaped eyes.
“Why do I suffer so much when I am only fooling myself? Am I really that much of a joke Kozi? Is that why you and Yu~ki prod at me relentlessly? Because Mana would rather spit on me than associate himself with the likes of me?”
His eyes glistened in the flickering candlelight.
“I couldn’t even bring myself to fight that man, probably the only thing that would ever have earned me Mana’s respect, because I am so weak…Because I let the realization that I have come to umpteen times take control of me and make me some sniveling pathetic mass of flesh begging to be left untouched…”
Kozi didn’t know what to say.
“So foolish of me to live in vain hopes that I mean anything to the infamous Mana-sama….So foolish of me to fight the notion that I am worthless…What was I thinking trying to retrieve him like that?” he continued, barely speaking to Kozi at all. “I always make realizations too late, always come to the right conclusion at the wrong time…..”
“Klaha, neither of us realized Mana loved Gackt, or neither of us wanted to….You can’t blame yourself for this. He would have done the same thing to anyone, whether it be you or me or Yu~ki,” Kozi tried to reason.
But the bitterness in Klaha’s smile didn’t relent.
“No Kozi, that’s just wishful thinking…..”
Yu~ki jogged up to the two of them, gasping a little for air.
“They’re gone. I tried calling out to Mana but it was like he didn’t even hear me,” he said in a dejected voice.
Kozi turned to Yu~ki for an answer, only to find the other man was as helpless as he.
A short laugh of self-depreciation was emitted by the vocalist.
“Well, finally the Prince has rescued the Princess.”
He put a hand to his forehead and Kozi feared for a moment the other may cry.
“The way of all good fairytales….”
He shook his head and pushed his way past his fellow band members.
Kozi and Yu~ki didn’t try to stop him.
~*~
They ended up in Gackt’s car, although Mana wasn’t sure how it had happened. He wasn’t sure how it happened and he wasn’t sure what was happening anymore either. All he knew was that Gackt hadn’t stopped talking to him until he was strapped into the passenger’s seat of his sports car, distracting him from what was going on with his melodic voice and soft caresses. He was stroking his hand now when he didn’t have to shift gears, classical music murmuring at a low volume while the brunette spoke effortlessly and continually.
“I have this new single coming up you know. I’m naming it ‘Kimi no Tame ni Dekiru Koto’. It’s a love song.”
He turned his head to look at Mana.
“I wrote it while I was thinking of you.”
The blue-haired beauty blushed again and then realized Gackt was still staring at him.
“Camui, the road…!”
His eyes went back to the road and nearly avoided crashing into the car ahead of them, but he didn’t seem to think much of it.
“So anyways, like I was saying, I have this new single. I could sing it to you if you want me to. The words aren’t that hard to remember because it’s a pop song and my manager advised me to make it simple because he says people who listen to pop are stupid. Now I don’t know if he was trying to say people who write pop songs are stupid as well, but if he was I will have him fired. Anyways I can sing it for you. Now if you want me to.”
He looked beside him to Mana again and the guitarist placed a hand on his cheek and gently forced him to look at the road once more.
“Not now Camui….”
“How about when we have sex? I can sing while I have sex you know. I’m that talented.”
Mana wondered if he’d heard that right.
“Camui, isn’t there a movie already named Kimi no Tame ni Dekiru Koto?”
Gackt got quiet as Handel filled the silence.
“They named a movie after my song already?”
“No, the movie---”
“Because if I don’t get royalties I’m suing. I let Squaresoft get off too easy.”
Mana kept silent as he mentally counted how many cocktails he’d drank.
“So about sex, I can sing it to you while we have it…Every time if you want me to. Although I end up fainting after performances I don’t after sex so don’t worry that the singing will tire me out. I figure I’ll fuck you at least, hmm,” he paused a bit and did some calculations in his head, “well that depends on how long you can stay propped up. And even if you can’t stay propped up that long I know some positions that’ll help. I know a lot of positions. A lot,” he reinstated matter-of-factly.
His hand covered Mana’s again as he stroked teasingly.
“I plan on making you sorry for every time I ever fantasized about having sex with you and you ignored me. It hurt a lot and Taka says it even made me crazy, which I think is pretty funny, don’t you?”
His blue eyes drifted back to Mana’s slim figure and he smiled.
“But now that you’re mine I don’t have to hurt anymore Mana-chan. You’ll feel what I felt and see how you like it.”
He looked back at the road and made a turn at an off ramp.
“You know, they say I’m a sadist, but I don’t think that word suits my image very well. I mean you hear sadist and you think chains and whips and our Illuminati video. Remember our Illuminati video Mana-chan? You were really beautiful in it. I didn’t think it was very funny that you dragged in that girl that looked like me though. I thought it was cruel really, that you made a show of touching her and not me. What like I was dirty or something. I’m handsome Mana-chan, I hope you know that. They say I’m one of the best looking men in Japan and yet I still wasn’t good enough for you to look at. Made me angry you know? I didn’t like you being some snobbish bitch to me when everyone else was licking my feet…”
Mana swallowed a little uneasily as Gackt’s stroking became harder.
“Made me want to hurt you…I love you though, I really do. That witch doctor though, he said the way I wanted to show it was unhealthy. Hmm. I don’t think so, I think you’ll like it. I can almost hear you crying out my name….Hey you still live in the same apartment complex right? I hope this is it. I have a good memory you know. The past, it’s vivid.”
The guitarist realized the car had stopped and they were indeed at his apartment complex.
“I thought it’d be better if we came to your place so you could change. You know this dress is so pretty I’d hate to get blood on it or something.”
Gackt smiled and Mana paled a bit, suddenly realizing things didn’t seem as safe as they had when he stepped in the car.
“Awww ma cherie…What’s with that face? You look kind of scared…it’s unbecoming of you. I know you, you’re a strong, callous, efficient leader, all cold beauty and disdain aren’t you Mana-chan? But you know, wives really aren’t supposed to be like that….”
He shivered as Gackt leaned over and bit his neck.
“….Let’s go in and tame you before the marriage love…I’ll teach you what it’s like to submit to me and you’ll see how good it feels.”
He kissed his cheek and then got out of the car. Mana watched him walk around the imported mass of metal anxiously, trying to think of what he should do but failing miserably. Gackt opened the door to his side.
“Ladies first,” he said with another smile as he held out a hand for Mana to take.
The guitarist stared blankly at him but found himself extending his hand nonetheless. Gackt helped him to his feet and brought the rest of his dress out of the car.
“You know,” he began while shutting the door, “I really hope you still buy those imported chocolates Mana-chan. I could go for eating some right about now.”
He wrapped his arm around the slender waist and lead him towards the apartment stairs, not expecting an answer as he began humming the tune to his new single.
~*~
“You’re thinner than I am….I like that,” Gackt purred as he ran his tongue up the other man’s spine.
Mana sat in the middle of his bed, his white dress piled around him on black sheets, Gackt having dragged him to his bedroom the minute he got into the apartment. He’d wasted no time unzipping the elaborate dress and exposing the vulnerable skin beneath, taking off his own shirt in the process and pushing his prey onto the bed, pulling him into a sitting position so he could touch his back and chest at whim. The scene was somewhat strange, hills of ivory surrounding their half-naked bodies, but neither of them seemed to care, both absorbed in their own thoughts.
Or worries when it came to Mana.
He sat docilely, rigidly, body responding to every touch like Gackt intended it to, mind struggling to figure out what the hell he’d gotten himself into. But Gackt’s scent, his warmth, that goddamn intoxicating voice, were all creeping along his shoulder and up his neck…Gackt’s hands massaging his back and chest, lips locked onto the nape of his neck securely…a hand sliding downward, a hand sliding upwards to wrap around his throat…
“Mana I’ve waited so long…..so incredibly long….”
The hand around his throat flexed, fingernails digging lightly into flesh. A soft gasp escaped the guitarist’s lips.
“You know, I’ve never had sex with a man…I have a feeling this is going to hurt.”
The hand resting against his stomach pushed the fabric around Mana’s abdomen further down, making sure to touch between his legs as he did so.
“You of course, not me…Nothing’s going to hurt me, from now on.”
He wanted to whimper at the way Gackt whispered those words into his ear, at the way he had become so abruptly rough, pulling him onto his lap and ripping the rest of his dress from his body. Strangely enough he kept silent as layers of expensive fabric rushed past his thighs and calves. The delicate underwear he had donned followed momentarily, elastic snapping under Gackt’s disregard.
“Camui…Camui don’t do anything foolish….,” was all he could think to say, but it sounded weak and powerless, reflecting the physical situation he was in.
Gackt laughed.
“Foolish? Mana I’m never foolish, you know that…You make it sound like you don’t like being in my arms. I know you do. I know you want me.”
Mana winced as fingers entangled themselves in his bound hair and pulled, his head laying against the other man’s shoulder with his neck arched gracefully. Gackt looked to him from the corners of his eyes, lips parted in arousal.
“Can you feel me Mana? I never used to wear that padding shit Yu~ki insisted on. That’s all me pressed against you…”
He laughed curtly and a tremor ran down Mana’s back because he could indeed feel what the other was referring to. He swallowed as Gackt kissed the corner of his mouth softly, tongue darting out to slip in-between his lips.
“I never brag about my body, I just state the facts….And you get the honor of having it all inside you. Wonderful ne…”
A moan was his only response as a hand kneaded between his thighs.
Gackt let go of his body for a moment and despite the fact that he hadn’t been choking him, Mana felt air rush back into his lungs. He was breathing heavily, although he wasn’t sure why -- whether he was aroused or scared or angry with Gackt’s behavior he couldn’t discern. He wanted to turn around and tell Gackt to shove his ego back down his throat, that he wasn’t just a fuck toy, that he had a name and a reputation large enough to match the vocalist’s, but he didn’t. Things were still fuzzy and warm -- he still wasn’t in his right mind. And although it was hard to say Gackt was ever in his right mind, he was definitely more sober and more in control. The noise of a zipper being pulled down lingered in his ears as a jolt of panic hit him.
“Mana where’s your---oh well we don’t need it do we? I want this to be all us, I want me to be the only thing you feel….”
He felt arms encircle him again and kisses run up his spine.
“…I want you to be raw in the morning. Exquisitely, painfully raw…”
“….Camui…,” Mana whispered shakily, the perfectly muscled body pressing into his back, pushing him down and forward onto his elbows.
“Get on your knees love…good…good…spread your legs more…there…”
The guitarist’s cheeks were scarlet; he almost never had sex in such a degrading position. And now he was obeying the man who would probably leave him broken in the morning without a second thought….
“God Mana you look sexy like this….,” Gackt leaned over his back so he could reach the guitarist’s ear, “But you’re so quiet for someone about to indulge in the ecstasy true lovers share…”
Mana’s eyes widened as he let out a rather effeminate cry, Gackt forcing himself in to the hilt in one thrust.
“Mana…I’ll make you scream tonight…I’ll make you scream my name over and over again….,” he whispered with a moan, arms wrapped around the thin torso tightly as he pushed himself in impossibly further.
The man beneath him gave up all pretense of defiance and whimpered in both pain and anticipation.
“There you go princess, let me take care of you….”
Mana winced as he was rammed into again.
“….Because I love you Mana, I love you more than anything….”
And Mana could only moan the other’s name upon hearing that, a tear rolling down his cheek.
~*~
Kozi’s head sagged on the table as a tear slipped from his finely painted eye. Both he and Yu~ki had drunk much too much for their own good as they watched the last band take to the stage.
“Toshiya’s crazy….Mana’s crazy……..Shinya doesn’t love me….,” he mumbled in a slurred voice. “Yu-kun it’s finally over…..Malice Mizer is finally over….”
He buried his face in his hands and began to cry.
“No Kozi, no…no no no.,” Yu~ki murmured, gathering the other man into his arms. Mana was missing, Klaha was missing, and he knew the liquor was adding to that strife and inducing one of Kozi’s rare breakdowns.
“Yu-kun,” he sobbed, “Yu-kun…Kami’s dead Yu-kun….Kami’s gone….Gackt’s gone….Mana’s gone….”
Yu~ki tightened his grip in spite of Kozi’s makeup smearing on his white suit.
“Shhh Kozi….don’t think about Kami right now….or anyone else ne? Just calm down….Malice isn’t over…”
He pushed Kozi away a little and tried to look at his face.
“Remember? Remember how we always stay together no matter what? Even after Tetsu…after Gackt…after Kami changed….Remember? We’re still here, together right?”
Kozi tried to quell his sobs so he could speak.
“But….but…we….we includes Mana…with Mana, we were together….Yu-kun we can’t do anything without Mana! He’s more of Malice than either of us will ever be….”
The tears began rolling down his cheeks again.
“We should have stopped when Kami left…..oh god I miss Kami!!”
Yu~ki sighed as he tried not to think about the drummer and let Kozi bury his face in his chest again. He’d already seen one band member breakdown over the loss of a loved one tonight and he wasn’t about to let another one dwell over it lest he become victim to the same sorrow.
“Please don’t talk about Kami, Kozi….you know he’s not gone, he’s just changed….What would he think if he saw you crying over him like this? Or that you had such little faith in the band?”
He felt Kozi’s grip on him tighten and his sobs continue. They needed to go home.
“God Kozi, please don’t get this upset….Listen, I’m going to call a cab and you’re coming to my place…Okay Kozi? Is that alright?”
The other man weakly nodded his head. Yu~ki pulled out his cell-phone and began surfing for a cab company.
“In the morning this’ll all be over, and there’ll be no need for you to cry…..”
He looked at the stage while the phone began ringing. Too much weird shit had happened tonight already, and he wasn’t about to stick around and wait for more to start. He didn’t know where Gackt was. He didn’t know where Mana was. He didn’t know where Klaha was and frankly he didn’t care. He pulled Kozi closer to his body.
As far as he was concerned, this was all the vocalist’s fault.
~*~
~*~
His eyes were nearly glued shut from dried mascara, eyeliner, the weight of fake lashes and sleep all striving to make sure he never saw the light of day again. But Mana was used to forgetting to wipe off all of his meticulous work before sleeping, especially after work days that dragged into nights and left him dreaming on his desktop instead of his pillow at home. He tried to ignore the want to claw the crud off of his eyes and go back to sleep, knowing a few more hours of rest would clear most of it up. Gently he readjusted his hold on the satin pillow and then flinched as the simple movement brought pain to his body.
…..What?
He shifted again and felt the same burning ache course through every vein and limb of his body. A groan forced its way out of his mouth and his eyes struggled to open in concern.
…….What happened?
And then he heard it, the steady breathing of another person.
Oh shit…….Please don’t tell me I bed Klaha again….I’ve been meaning to quit doing that….
As if to answer, a hand ran up the back of his thigh, stopping below his ass and then squeezing a cheek appreciatively.
Klaha would never, ever do something like that.
Mana cautiously opened his eyes, taking in the scene of his bedroom. His dress was thrown over a chair in a manner he wouldn’t do because he knew exactly how much each piece of the ensemble cost. A few things, a few expensive things, baubles he’d bought in Europe and the likes, were scattered on the floor, the appearance that they’d been shoved from his desk. His full length mirror, the one he’d had imported with money he’d been saving on the side, had handprints, of all the vile things, splotched on it at various intervals, which he knew hadn’t been there last time he’d looked. And there was a Kappa jacket lying on the middle of his rug like some silver animal carcass.
Klaha also knew he was in for an ass beating if he went anywhere near Kappa clothing.
Mana was now starting to freak out.
I went to a party last night. I drank a lot. I remember that much.
But he had no clue who he’d brought home.
Please gods in heaven, please let it be Toshiya….or Kozi, or Yu~ki….
He looked down at his body. It was clad in a black negligee, or rather the remnants of one, seeing as one strap was dangling uselessly and the fine mesh was ripped in many places, exposing a nipple and much of his stomach. He couldn’t see if he was wearing underwear or not but by the feel of the hand against his skin he wasn’t. His legs also felt wet, which didn’t seem like a good sign.
Just as a memory of what had happened last night was forming in his brain, the hand slid dangerously over sensitive skin, a finger invading him and stroking at his entrance.
That was the last straw.
Mana flipped over in fright, ready to tell whoever’d come home with him to go to hell and leave him alone. However he only managed to flip over before the worst pain he’d ever felt in his life hammered against his body, forcing him to collapse back onto the sheets with a low whimper. It felt like he’s been slammed against the wall repeatedly and beaten with a mallet the size of his bathtub. His eyes shut tightly as he groaned again, wanting to clutch at something to make it stop hurting but not sure where to start.
“Ohayo baby,” a handsome voice whispered near him. “I was afraid you were never going to wake up….
And what a shame that would be after you gave me the best night of sex in my life…No one’s ever endured me for that long Mana-chan, you were so great…”
A bloodshot eye flew open only to be greeted by his worst nightmare.
Gackt.
In an oversized set of his black and blue Moi Meme Moitie pajamas.
Smoking a cigarette in his bed.
With a smug look on his face.
Calling him baby and referring to a night of sex.
The hand not clutching a cigarette reached out to caress his cheek.
“I knew we were meant to be together, the two of us….I called my PR today about the marriage and apparently we can get it done in Holland. And maybe Hawaii, they’re still checking into that. So I figure hey, why don’t we get married in Holland and then honeymoon in Hawaii? I always wanted to have sex on the beach at night….Wouldn’t that be perfect? But you’d have to be quieter than you were last night…”
He smirked and rolled over briefly to put out his cigarette.
“You were so pretty, so perfect, flesh so supple and god, I want to fuck you like that every night…We can do that once we’re married. Won’t it be great? I’m glad you like it rough love, because nothing could feel better than taking you that way….”
He moved closer and pulled Mana to his chest, a croak the only noise the guitarist could make in protest of the pain.
“But it hurts, doesn’t it….You were crying last night you know, about the pain…Sobbing into my chest and telling me to make it stop, but refusing to pull away from me…I know how it feels Mana, that pain….I know what it’s like to be paralyzed and torn apart, for the ache to keep burning no matter how you try to quell it…Yet keep on wanting more of it, just so you never part from the source….You won’t be able to walk today, I made sure of that. But I’ll take care of you. And soon the pain will stop. It finally has for me na….”
Gackt bent his head down and placed a kiss on Mana’s forehead.
“You know I’ve already recorded the new single…I told them I wanted to shoot the video as soon as possible so we can leave before I have to start going on television to promote it and have to start working on my new album. I want to get in at least three weeks of us being alone together….Won’t that be wonderful, just the two of us….”
He sighed and lifted the other man’s chin up gently, endeavoring to place a kiss on his lips, but stopping right before doing so to pluck a halfway-fastened rim of fake lashes from Mana’s eye.
“You know these things are dangerous, I nearly poked my eye on one last night. Maybe you want to wear shorter ones for the wedding. I’d hate for me to be cursing when they take the pictures of our wedding kiss, it wouldn’t look right.”
Then he kissed him, making it deep with little resistance. Mana’s hair was wild and unbound, trailing along both their bodies in loose curls and Gackt thread his hand through it lovingly. He broke the kiss.
“And you could even design the wedding dress,” he said softly, pushing the guitarist’s bangs away from his eyes and tucking them behind his ear. “I’d want you to wear a traditional one but….”
He blinked a few times once he realized Mana hadn’t said a thing since he’d woken up.
“Baby don’t you want to say something? This is the first morning of the beginning of our lives together….”
Another seductive smile lit his lips as he made his eyes open a little wider in expectancy.
Mana looked up at him, taking in his beautiful face, his pale skin and warm brown hair, eyes still sky blue and lips a pastel pink. The memories of the night before, of the party, of the car, of the passion they both shared flooded his mind, liquid vibrant and glowing despite his lack of sobriety when they occurred. He wanted to say something, say anything to validate and refute what appeared to be reality. Despite the pain he lifted an arm, resting it weakly on Gackt’s shoulder so he could touch the other’s face with his fingers. The vocalist’s smile widened at the action and he turned his head slightly to catch the fingers in another kiss. His fiancé smiled faintly and parted his lips in preparation of speech.
And for the first time since he’d hit puberty, Mana screamed.
~*~
Big Red – reference to another fic of mine
Vas te foutre – I was told this was akin to “go fuck yourself” in French (if it isn’t, please feel free to tell me the correct phrase!)
“Osuware” – how you tell a dog, not a human, to sit in Japanese
- 3
- 4
- 5
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

agitator