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Brave New World	By : Vally Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > HIM Views: 1640 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of HIM. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Author: Nkundra

A/N: The “Pool Incident” was the funnest thing EVER to write!! WOOT!! *happy dance* though I ended up getting angsty-er than I had intended.. Meh… Ville just wasn’t cooperating*shrug* still came out ok though! ^^

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the X-men or Ville Valo or Bam Margera. I make zero cash on this so keep the lawyers and such at bay! I am but a poor college student have mercy on my abused, EasyMac(which is also copyrighted and not mine) nourished frame!!!!

Warnings: VAM, SLASH, Violence, cursing, ooc-ness, Humor, crossover, and now OCs!! ^^

Archiving: If you would like to add my work to your own site please send me an Email. Or if you have a suggestion of another good place for me to post send me a link. ^^

Reviewer Shit Has Been Moved To The END Of The Chapter!!!

(Number): Retarded Nkundra comments
Wordness: thoughts

Brave New World
And the pain one prank can cause…

Breakfast came much earlier then Bam would have liked but he sucked it up because today was going to be a day to remember. The plan was simple enough in his mind and he had only a few kinks to work out with his new crew but that would wait until after breakfast! First things first, anarchy and complete mayhem can’t be brought upon a place on an empty stomach after all. So the skater passively allowed a much to alert Ville Valo to dress and drag him into the dining room at 8:30 AM on a Saturday. Jamie and Kurt were already there talking cheerfully and Boom Boom bounced in a few minutes later closely followed by a sluggish Evan. Blue eyes met those of his fellow skater and they silently agreed that morning people sucked. Ville sat across from Kurt and Boom Boom sat beside him with Bam and Spyke on his other side. The Finn chatted with his new band mates while Bam looked around a bit desperately for some coffee. When a large blue mug was sat in front of his face Bam looked up at Mrs. Monroe a bit confused. The woman merely smiled and patted his shoulder before taking her own seat. Peeking cautiously into the mug the skater grinned like an idiot before snatching it up and putting the rim to his lips, groaning appreciatively.

“I see someone was nice enough to bring you your crack.(1)” Ville said with a smirk as he sipped at his own mug of tea.(2) An incoherent reply had most of those now gathered at the table snickering.

“And I thought my Aunt Joan was useless before her coffee.” Bobby said barely concealing a howling laugh.

Bam just grumbled something rude about morning people and Evan grunt out an agreement as he poked at the food on his plate. Breakfast was relatively quiet as two of the loudest people were half asleep. Ville and an image-inducer-less Kurt talked about how successful non-English songs would be with everyone over at Hazard and the US in general while Boom Boom watched the Finnish man with a soft, wistful expression. Rogue elbowed her and Boomie startled out of her daze looking over at her friend questioningly. Rogue gave her a “we’ll be talking later” look and they both went back to their respective breakfasts.

“And what does everyone have planned for today?” Professor Xavier asked in a general tone.

“I’m gonna practice the skate moves Bam taught me yesterday!” Jamie said excitedly.

“After you help me weed the garden.” Storm interjected.

“Oh yeah… I forgot about that.” Jamie pouted.

“I hope the rest of you haven’t forgotten about your own punishments?” Xavier looked pointedly at those who had disappeared with Bam and Ville the day before.

A round of “No sirs” answered him and he smiled a bit before continuing the pleasant conversation with his students. Once everyone was done and those without punishments had scattered to enjoy their Saturday Boom Boom began to clear the table and clean the kitchen, which was her job at both breakfast and dinner for the next two weeks. Kurt teleported away to start cleaning the gutters while Jamie accompanied Ororo to her gardens. Evan gave Bam a small smile before heading toward the patio and the pool where he was to have the water sparkling, the furniture looking brand new and the patio tiles gleaming. Dr. McCoy smiled at Ville and Bam and reminded them to visit him later that afternoon. He was hoping to scrape up some new information on the changes to their DNA. Logan spared Bam a glare, which the skater responded to with a shit eating grin, and stalked away to work off more steam in the danger room. Left to themselves Bam and Ville sat in silence for a moment. Bam stared into space, his mind now awake and working hard if the mischievous glint in his blue eyes was anything to go by. Ville simply sipped his tea. He hadn’t enjoyed a simple hot cup of English tea in ages and he wasn’t about to let thoughts of what his Bammie may be plotting get in the way.

“So…” Bam sighed, “Any plans Willa?”

“I am meeting with Professor Xavier after I finish my tea and get some nicotine in me.” The Finn stated before leveling a hard stare at the younger man, “And I suggest you find something constructive to do.”

“Constructive huh?” Bam’s smirk made Ville frown.

“Constructive Bammie not destructive and I don’t want you within ten feet of Logan. That would be like signing a death warrant.”

“Fine. I’ll leave Logan alone…” Bam stood from his chair and placed a soft peck on his lover’s lips, “For now!”

Before Ville could protest Bam was gone. He sighed and sent a silent prayer to whoever may be listening to keep his beloved safe and out of trouble. He downed the last bit of his tea and went to the garden to enjoy a cigarette. He watched as Ororo showed Jamie something about her garden and it looked as if the boy was enjoying his punishment a lot more then he had expected. A smile tugged at the Finn’s lips. April had wanted a garden but just thinking about what Bam would do to it had dissuaded her until she and Phil moved out of Castle Bam. Not that the move had stopped Bam from making a few “adjustments “to the well planned and organized flower beds. Frowning suddenly Ville understood his lover’s heartache. He had been such an ass to his family and pretty much everyone because of MTV and now that was all they had to remember him by. No wonder the younger man was so distraught. Sighing heavily Ville stomped out the cigarette butt and headed back inside. He found the Professor’s office easily enough and stood staring at it nervously for several minutes.

“I think I need another fag.” He muttered to himself as he turned the handle to go in taking a deep calming breath. This was more nerve wracking than preparing for his first concert though he wasn‘t quite sure why.

~*Meanwhile*~

Bam walked casually into the TV room where Bobby and Rogue were playing video games while Kitty read a teenage girl-type magazine. “This is SO boring! I gotta do something!” Bam mentally groaned as he strode over to stand in front of the TV. As the two teens began to protest loudly the skater allowed a grin to spread over his face. At the sight of his wolfish smile silence blanketed the room. By now Kitty was paying attention as well and silently Bam motioned the three to follow him. He led them through the house, picking up Boom Boom from the kitchen where she had just finished with the breakfast dishes, and out onto the patio where Spyke was about to put some chemicals into the pool.

“Hold up a minute man!” Bam stopped the dark skinned teen, “Correct me if I’m wrong but if there wasn’t any water in there you wouldn’t have to do that, right?”

“Um… Guess not.” Evan looked curiously at the older man.

“And what is a pool without water?” Bam asked with a grin.

The teens paused for a minute, thinking hard before Spyke burst out, “A bowl!”

“Exactly.” Bam and Spyke shared an evil grin as Kitty’s face paled a bit.

“Whoa! You guys aren’t, like, gonna do what I think you are, are you?” She asked.

“I think it sounds awesome.” Boomie said, “How long will it take to drain the pool Evan?”

“An hour or two.”

“Hmm… That should be enough time. We’ll be cutting it close.” Bam murmured.

“Close to what?” Bobby asked.

“Well, Xavier’s the one we really need to look out for, right? And we’re all green while him and Ville are talking. They‘ll probably be about an hour and a half, two hours if we‘re lucky.” Bam said.

“And Ville’s, like, ok with being your distraction?” Kitty asked in disbelief.

“Hey, it’s coincidence! Not my fault Willa and the Prof had a meeting and left me to my own devices!”

“The man has a point.” Bobby said with a grin of his own.

Kitty rolled her eyes and headed back inside, “I’m so out of here! I’m not getting in trouble just because you guys want to be stupid.”

“Party pooper!” Bam called after her, “Ok gents! Let’s get the show on the road, I wanna skate! Boomie and Rogue, yer both helping right?”

“Of course!” The girls grinned.

“Alright! Boom Boom, you go keep tabs on Storm and Jamie. When they’re done keep her away from the pool but send Jamie to me.” Bam instructed.

“Got it.” Boom Boom threw a thumbs up toward the skater before disappearing toward the gardens.
“Rogue, do you think you could get some music out here?”

“No problem.” The girl smirked, “Ah got it covered.”

“You are my new best girl! Now Spyke, get that pool draining and Bobby…” Bam thought for a moment as his fellow skater got to work, “You and me need a way to talk ‘cause I want you keeping tabs on Logan.”

“I’ve got a set of walkie-talkies in me room.” Bobby suggested, though he wasn’t so keen on being the first line of defense between the feral mutant and the current thorn in said mutant’s paw but this was a truly golden idea and opportunity.

“Perfect!” Bam grinned

With that the boys set to work. Within half an hour the pool was almost ready which pleased Bam to no end because that meant he would be skating sooner. Jamie checked in and he had the boy help him move some of the speakers from the living room stereo onto the patio to provide some music to skate to. Then another bright idea lit up inside his head and he went to talk with Spyke. The younger skater reluctantly handed over his cell phone and pointed out the numbers to people he knew from Hazard and told Bam to tell Kurt to put his inducer on and other than the blue furred wonder having people over should be ok. Until they got caught of course but that would be worried about at a later time. The adrenaline was in high gear now and every one was working double time. Bobby reported that Logan was still kicking ass and taking names in the danger room while Ororo relaxed in her garden on the other side of the mansion from the pool.(3)

While this reign of mayhem was being set up Ville sat before Professor Xavier’s desk fidgeting like a naughty school boy. The Finn had never been a particularly nervous person. Certainly his Bammie had given him all manner of flutters and jitters when they first met but that was nothing compared to this. The man was a telepath for Christ’s sake! He deserved to be respected, if not feared. Ville still didn’t fully understand what was going on but that was what this meeting was for. So he sat and let his eyes drift around the room. He noticed a shelf of books in languages other then English and stared at it for a moment. Ville could feel the Professor’s eyes watching his every twitch. Cool, calculating eyes full of soul deep calm. As his nerves began to settle Ville wondered to himself if the man could really read German and Dutch.

“A bit, though my skills have become a bit rusty.” The cultured voice drew Ville’s attention back to the reason he was there.

“My German isn’t very good either. Though I’ve had several people try to refine my skills. Wait how did… Were you?”

“Your innate blocking is fairly good, surprisingly enough, but a few thoughts trickle through. I’m hoping to help you with that along with blocking from receiving any thoughts or emotions. Hank said you were an empath, correct?” The Professor’s face was friendly but Ville’s nerves were set back on end anyway.

“Umm… Yes. He said something about a bit of telepathy as well. Mostly the emotions thing though.” Ville’s voice held little of it’s usual confidence. The deep tones were thick and felt dry in his mouth. Unlike his earlier predictions and hopes his was nothing like any interview he had ever given before.

“You’re projecting a lot of nervousness even fear of me. Hopefully we will be able to remedy this but I wonder, Ville, why do perceive me as a threat?” The older man’s brow creased and he rested his chin on his entwined fingers.

“I…” Ville wasn’t sure why Xavier frightened him so.

“Perhaps it is simply the idea of me reading your thoughts? That seems to distress most people.” A small smile attempted to lighten the mood but the Finn’s frown only deepened as he thought harder.

“No…” Ville murmured softly and continued to contemplate the emotions inside him. He pawed at them, twisted and turned them every which way until with a soft gasp he realized, “Bam!”

“What about Mr. Margera?” The Professor asked curiously his brow creasing.

“These are Bam’s emotions not mine!” Wide, fright filled jade eyes stared at the telepath, “Last night, he had been upset. I held him and sang him to sleep. He was worried about our home, and getting back to our family. I remember wanting to ease his pain and fear.”

“You must have absorbed it into yourself and it reacted to the nervousness you undoubtedly felt over this meeting amplifying and transforming it into the intensity I could feel from you though it seems to be dissipating a bit.”

“Yes…” Ville trailed off before dropping his head into his hands with an exasperated sigh, “This is so strange! I’m beginning to want to go home as much as Bam does.”

Xavier smiled encouragingly, “Unfortunately I doubt we will be able to return you without the help of the mutant who brought you here in the first place.”

“I thought as much. You wouldn’t happen to at least have some idea of who it was would you? I really didn’t get a good look at him.” Ville steered the subject away from himself in hopes of calming his still frayed nerves.

“Unfortunately all we have is a rather vague description of a young man with messy black hair and pale skin.” Xavier seemed a bit frustrated by his lack of information. At least that’s what Ville thought the pointy emotion coming from the older man was. It wasn’t jagged and razor sharp like anger but still dangerous.

“That could be at least half of the young population of both of our worlds.” Ville muttered as he slouched in the leather chair.

A chuckle had the Finn raising a brow questioningly at the older man who smiled, “You are a fascinating person Mr. Valo. You and Mr. Margera both. I believe your presences may prove to be very beneficial.”

Ville smiled at the Professors kind words and couldn’t help but feel the same. Now though there were more pressing matters to attend to. Such as preventing the singer from absorbing other peoples emotions though there was a nagging feeling in the back of Ville’s mind that something was amiss. His first guess was that Bam was plotting something but the man wasn’t a complete idiot and wouldn’t dare do something to stupid while Professor Xavier was preoccupied with their meeting. Would he?

Answer: Of course! He’s Bam Margera and said terror of two worlds was standing at the mansion gates with Kurt, and Luka. The once again shirtless Hazard Ranch bassist helped keep the three dozen or so people quiet as he stood distractingly in all of his highlighter blue haired glory while Kurt reported that everything was ready and the coast was clear for them to make a run for the patio. As a surprisingly quiet and collective group they all made a dash for the empty pool with Kurt bringing up the rear and bamphing out once everyone was out of sight to gather Bobby and BoomBoom. When everyone was finally set around the empty pool and Ville was just shaking the Professor’s hand in thanks for the help with his shields Bam held up a megaphone and shouted for all the mansion to hear…

“Lets get this party started!” Bam grinned wickedly as Cradle of Filth blasted from the speakers and he thanked any God listening that he had forgotten his Ipod nano in his jeans pocket and it had accompanied him and Ville on their trip without incident.

The skater tossed BoomBoom the megaphone and dropped in along with a few of the guest skaters. Bobby sat with a few girls at one of the patio tables flirting while Luka, Boomie, and Kurt gathered at another and talked about potential band members and names. This rather organized chaos lasted about ten minutes before the adults showed up. Charles Xavier sighed and rubbed his temples irritably, Logan was snarling, Ville was frowning at his lover, Scott was scowling and the rest were trying to hide smiles. Children would be children, Professor Xavier accepted this, but Bam needed to learn to act semi-appropriately while under his roof. However the telepath didn’t get very far in expressing this opinion.

“Brandon Cole Margera!!” Ville’s enraged voice beat the Professor to the punch, “What in the name of God Almighty possessed you to cook this up?!”

Distracted by his angry lover Bam collided with another skater, both of them landing on their asses at the bottom of the bowl to the badly concealed amusement of their peers. Making a quick, distracted apology Bam scrambled up the side of the bowl to confront the singer with a disarming grin. Behind him the Hazard Ranch patrons watched curiously even as two of them continued to skate the empty pool and hoped their party wasn‘t being canceled. Xavier was watching the scene before him curiously as well. He wondered how Ville would handle the younger man. Beside the professor Logan fumed barely restraining himself from ripping the brat’s cocky smile of his face and though Scott stood beside Logan glaring daggers at the intruders Jean slipped away to speak with a small group of girls, some of whom she knew from school. Motioning Spyke to turn the music down the skater took a large, calming gulp of air and placed a smile firmly in place. Bam tried to pacify his enraged lover but he somehow doubted he would get away with this stunt scot-free.

“Hey Willa! Just in time for the party! I wanted it to be a surprise so eh… Surprise?!” Even Kitty thought the excuse was lame and badly delivered.

“Surprise?! You must be shitting me! Brandon this isn’t your property! Wreaking havoc on Castle Bam may be perfectly acceptable but tearing up our host’s pool is not! Do your hear me Brandon Cole Margera?! Am I making myself perfectly clear?!” Ville’s loud voice and the anger pouring off of him in tidal waves made everyone shudder fearfully, even Logan gave the man a respectful glance as the lithe Finn got in his lovers face and continued his rant, “I swear to whatever deity the people in this dimension worship that if you fuck up this thoroughly again I’ll not raise a single finger in your defense when Charles kicks you out on your self absorbed arse! Now I suggest you get these people out of here!!” With that Ville turned on his heel and stormed away to find a secluded spot in Ororo’s garden to smoke what was left of his cigarettes and hopefully calm down.

“I’m gonna be sleeping alone for a really long time…” Bam sighed, “Well, this sucks.”

Professor Xavier sighed in exasperation, “Bam, I will not require that your guests leave immediately but I expect them gone before dinner and this pool to be in mint condition when you are done cleaning and repairing it. We will talk further after dinner tonight.”

“Sure thing!” A rather pale Bam smiled shakily in thanks as the older mutant turned to leave most of his staff following and questioning him.

A deafening silence filled the patio.

“So…” Luka’s casual tone dissipated the cloud of distress that had descended, “Are we gonna party or what?”

Bam turned back to the now quiet, still crowd and expertly spread a grin across his face, “Of course!! Now turn back up the music and lets tear this pool apart!”

On the other side of the mansion Ville paced and grumbled darkly in an angry muddle of English and Finnish around the cigarette in his mouth. He couldn’t believe his lover’s audacity! They were more or less completely dependant on Charles Xavier’s mercy at the moment. Didn’t Bam understand what it meant to not technically exist? They had no papers, not a single written record on either of them and that could cause a world of trouble for them. On top of this they were bloody broke! Stomping out his last fag the empath growled as he stuffed the empty cigarette pack into his back pocket and turned on his heel sharply coming face to face with his Bammie’s number one thorn-in-the-side. He took a moment to observe Logan. The man was about Bam’s height with a wider, more solid build. He had old, calculating eyes that could follow you without moving and it gave Ville the creeps. He could understand why Bam disliked the man. He was mature without being obnoxiously serious, he handled things with firm certainty but with a delicate wisdom and held a self assured air that would rattle anyone with the least bit of doubt in themselves. This man was everything his Bam had pretended to be since he was a child, Ville realized and smirked subconsciously. No wonder the skater hated Logan so much.

“What’s so funny?” Logan sounded both irritated and curious as the man crossed his arms over his chest.

“Bam is the most simple yet confusing man in the world. I would bet good money on it. If I had it of course.” Ville murmured cryptically as he unconsciously reached into the back pocket of his borrowed jeans only to be reminded he had just finished his last cigarette.

“Chuck gave me permission to take ya to get some new clothes and I kinda thought you could use a pack or two.” Logan stated gruffly.

“Hmm… A fresh supply of smokes would be good. The clothes will have to wait though. I’m not letting Bam go shopping alone.”

Logan smirked, “I knew one of you two had to have some common sense.”

“Don’t let Bam hear you say that. Your already on his shit list.” Ville said earning himself an incoherent grumble and laughed at the feral, “C’mon. I hope that my brand exists in this dimension.”

Blue eyes followed the lithe younger man as he walked past Logan. The European wasn’t so bad after all it seemed but that jackass of his was still a huge thorn in Logan’s paw. He wondered how the two had met least of all gotten involved. Bam seemed like someone who needed a lot of looking after, a lot more than most people would want to put into a relationship at any rate. On the other hand perhaps that just proved how much Ville loved the idiot. With a smirk and a gruff chuckle Logan followed the strange Finn toward the garage.

A/N: For some reason while I was organizing the “Pool Incident” inside my mind and even while I was writing it I just couldn’t shake the vision of Bam skateboarding through Hogwarts and Harry in inlines right beside him with Snape on their heels, narrowly missing many a curse!

I need more sleep…

Oh and once again sorry for the long time between updates but I warned you all before I can be slow. Also the end of this turned out completely different then how I imagined. I totally didn’t plan for a Ville/Logan friendship though I think it’ll turn out pretty nifty. Meh… Also, in the next chapter I will begin to heavily allude to who the mysterious dimension-traveler person is and if you can guess who he/she is before I officially announce their identity then you will get… Well something… dunno what yet. So have fun! Be looking for the next chapter in hopefully a week or two but I’m doing summer classes and will be visiting family at the end of this month so things are hectic but I’ve come out of my writing-funk for the time being and shall be more-or-less glued to my laptop in my free time!

1- I know some people who act like addicts going into withdrawals without their morning “crack” (AKA coffee) and are about as useful as a soggy, moth eaten blanket in January… In Antarctica!

2- For some reason I see Ville having a cultured side and drinking things like tea (when he’s not boozing or fucking with his Bammie) and doing other European type stuff that American’s take for granted.

3- How absurdly convenient!! Muahahahahaha!! Believe it or not I have actually seen elaborate pranks and stunts like this pulled off with similar perfection! Don’t know how but something tells me God or Satan were in on it!

Reviewer Shit(Oh and FYI people, more reviewing does indeed make me write faster!! ^^)

(AdultFanFiction. Net)

Zacky: Hope your still following this buddy! Sorry for the long wait!

DracoAmora: Thank you for reviewing! I’m extremely sorry this took so long but life happens once in a while hopefully the next chapter won’t be so long in coming!! *^^*

(FanFiction. Net)

TheNurseWhoLovedMe: Yay!! Finally a German person to help me not look to overly dumb!! My German came from a lame online translator that I know butchers more or less everything I give it to translate so I am eternally grateful that you have corrected my retardedness!! I am after all a mere male American human, indeed a horrifying mixture of DOOOM! I shall be working on fixing my translations asap just wanted to get a new chapter out first! Thanx again!! I love hearing from people who can actually speak the languages I knowingly mutilate. ^^

Blueonyx: Thanks for the review I’m glad to see I have a half decent FF. net following! *^^* Much with the warm fuzzies in that reguard. I think you may get a kick out of the end of this chapter so enjoy the new chapter and continue to read and review.
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Brave New World