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14 Years	By : lunavin Category: Singers/Bands/Musicians > Metallica Views: 2583 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know the members of Metallica. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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This Chapter: “Gay people are people just like everyone else, they just have a different sexual preference. Some are a little more overboard than others, but there’s no difference between seeing an overly campy gay man and an overly macho guy.” – Kirk Hammett

Jason froze. He wasn't sure what James meant by that. It wouldn't be a surprise if James had found out somehow that Kirk had slept with men on occasion. The question was, did James know about Kirk and Jason together.

"Kirk?" Jason feigned ignorance. "Really?"

James laughed smugly.

"There's no need to be coy now, Jase."

"About what?"

"I saw you Jase," James stated plainly. The smile was gone from his face. "I saw you and Kirk together."

Jason sighed.

“It was a fucking shock, I’ll tell you that,” James continued.

“Shock?” Jason said with sarcasm. “With Kirk shoving his tongue down Lars’ throat all the time? And didn’t you tell the press I was gay for years?”

“I just said that to make you look bad with the press and so the fans wouldn’t like you so much,” James laughed.

“That’s a fucking asshole thing to say, James,” Jason said. He slammed his water bottle on the table, but somehow it didn’t have the same effect as a glass. The bottle toppled over.

“I’m not going to lie,” James said. He righted Jason’s water and took some napkins from the dispenser to clean up the small spill. “What’s the point? I’m sure you guessed why I did it.”

James was right. It was all part of the hazing. It just still bothered him that James never seemed remorseful.

“And hey, it turned out to be true anyway,” James smirked.

That made Jason angry. They hadn’t said it because it was true, they had said it to hurt him deliberately, and that made all the difference in the world in Jason’s eyes.

Well, if James wasn’t going to give a shit, then Jason might as well be honest about it all. After all, James couldn’t give him hell anymore.

“Yeah, well, those comments got me a lot of ass.” Jason gave an evil smirk.

James stayed silent, and Jason’s smile widened at the look on James’ face.

“Actually, those comments got me into Kirk’s pants, too,” Jason said.

BLACK ALBUM RECORDING, 1990

It was the end of another long day in the studio. The sky was dark and the moon was half-full above when Metallica stepped out of the building for a few hours rest at home.

There were a few fans waiting outside for them and the guys signed a few autographs and took some pictures with them despite being exhausted.

James and Lars said their goodbyes first and left promptly. Jason and Kirk lingered with a couple of the fans.

Kirk had gotten into an intricate conversation with a fan about restoring old guitars. The guy had made a recent purchase that even Kirk Hammett was envious of.

Jason was talking to another bass player. The guy was hitting on him, and Jason was actually considering taking him up on it if he could only get Kirk to leave already.

“Hey Jase,” Kirk called out.

Jason turned to Kirk; the fan Kirk was speaking to was walking away.

“You wanna give me a ride home?” Kirk asked.

Jason mentally cursed Kirk and his ex-wife that took the car in the divorce. Kirk had been taking a car service to and from the studio the whole past month. Jason briefly wondered why tonight was different.

“Yeah,” Jason answered. “Hold on.”

He said goodbye to the guy he was talking to and tried to look inviting without being obvious. Maybe the guy would come back some other day.

Kirk and Jason walked towards Jason’s car side by side. Kirk looked back at the fan that Jason had been talking to.

“I think that guy was hitting on you,” Kirk said.

“Yeah, well, we get all sorts of fans.”

“He was a good looking guy,” Kirk said.

“I guess,” Jason said noncommittally.

“Did I just totally cock block you?”

“What?” Jason was startled. He tried to play it off with a faked laugh. “Yeah, totally. We should work out a signal or something in the future.”

“Say the word Jase, I’ll make it up to you.”

Jason stopped walking about two feet before reaching his car.

“Dude, that sounded like an offer,” Jason joked. The rest of Metallica had been saying it for years, but could they actually believe it? Jason was afraid he’d become too obvious.

“Look, I know we tell the press you’re gay and that you’re probably not,” Kirk said. “But if there’s any truth in it…”

“James would have me kicked out of the band,” Jason said cautiously, afraid he was walking into a trap.

“You’re not making this easy,” Kirk said.

“What?”

“I… “ Kirk paused. “Would it totally freak you out if I kissed you right now?”

“What?” Jason asked. “Are you guys trying to pull some more shit on me?

“No!” Kirk said.

Jason looked at him in disbelief and walked towards his car and opened the door.

“Look get in or not but I don’t want to hear any more of this.”

A subdued Kirk got into the passenger side.

In silence, Kirk tried to think about where his approach in Jason went wrong. Jason hadn’t denied anything, he had seemed genuinely afraid Kirk was playing a trick on him. That bothered Kirk a lot, especially since he knew Jason was justified in feeling that way. He had no reason to trust any of them.

A few minutes later and they were almost at Kirk’s apartment. He was only there temporarily as the divorce settled and the lawyers decided what was his and what was hers.

“I wasn’t trying to trick you,” Kirk said.

“Then what,” Jason asked still guarded.

“I thought that, maybe, if there was any truth to it then maybe you and I could...” Kirk slouched in the chair.

“You’re hitting on me for real?” Jason asked.

“Yeah.”

“You want to fuck?” Jason asked in disbelief. “Me?”

“Well, the banshee that is my soon to be ex-wife liked to call me a fag,” Kirk explained. “Personally I don’t think there’s anything wrong if I were. But I’m not. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it. So I thought I’d try it. But the gay guys I know I don’t find attractive.”

“You find me attractive” Jason asked. He made a left turn into the hotel parking lot.

Kirk smiled. “Yeah. And I thought if there was any truth to what we use to say about you being gay then it’d be nice to be with someone who knows what they’re doing.”

“Well, that’s really flattering.”

“Yeah, anyway, I didn’t want to piss you off I know we use to talk shit and I know that you’re not gay.”

“No, I’m not,” Jason said.

“I’m sorry then,” Kirk said. “No hard feelings?”

“I’m not offended,” Jason said. He pulled into one of the parking spaces closer to the room Kirk was staying in.

“Just don’t tell James and Lars okay? It’s one thing to fuck with you for being the Newkid. It’s another thing to be fucking you for real.”

Jason laughed. Kirk started to open the car door to leave.

“Kirk,” Jason said. Kirk paused. “You totally cock blocked me tonight.”

“I did?” Kirk asked. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah”

“But, I don’t understand. You just said you weren’t gay.”

Jason closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure that he should say it. In the back of his head he was still afraid this was all some elaborate prank from the whole band.

“I’m bi,” Jason admitted. If he was going to spend the rest of his professional life with these guys, which was his plan, he was going to have to be able to trust somebody.

“Oh,” Kirk said still somewhat confused. “Well, now what?”

Jason started leaning over slowly towards Kirk. The guitarist got the idea of where Jason was going and met him halfway. The kiss was kind of awkward with Kirk’s inexperience and Jason’s slowly ebbing fear, but so are many firsts the boys reasoned.

“So you still want to make it up to me?” Jason asked.

PRESENT

"We always tried to be careful not to get caught,” Jason said thoughtfully.

The waiter came by but Jason waived him off.

James bit his tongue. He'd already known it hadn't been a one off between them, but he hadn't found that out until many years later.

"I suspected for a long time that Kirk was fooling around with men," James said taking the last swig of water. “But I never confronted him about it cause I honestly didn’t want to know. I figured as long as he kept it under wraps and didn’t try to stick his dick in my ass, it didn’t really fucking matter.”

Jason smiled softly. “That’s very progressive of you.”

“Nah. I was gonna confront him and kick him out. When I told Lars about it he reminded me that we’d been telling the press you were gay for years. So who the fuck cared? Then Lars started sticking his tongue down Kirk’s throat. I think part of that was to get on my nerves. So I shut up about it mostly.”

There was a roar in the bar crowd. The band was calling it a night and stepping off stage. The audience was on their feet in applause and catcalls.

The overhead speakers around the bar kicked on by playing a Faith No More song at a low level. This was followed by the bell coming from the bar signaling last call.

Jason checked his watch. He’d been here for four hours already. He’d planned on going back to the hotel two hours ago. But that was until he’d gotten on stage, and then there was James.

Jason looked at James unsure if that was the bell saving them from this conversation. But James didn’t move to leave. He didn’t move at all.

“So then when you caught Kirk and I together it was no big deal then?” Jason asked.

Oh it was a big deal, James thought.
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14 Years