Britpop Circus

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Scene four

(Damon’s apartment, late at night. Damon comes home and drops himself on the couch. He doesn’t even bother to turn on the lights.)

(The phone rings after a few minutes. Damon jumps up, stares at the telephone for a while, then answers it.)

Damon: Albarn.
Caller: Hey, Damon. It’s Liam.
Damon, angered: You’re calling me?
Liam, speaking quickly: Look, I know you don’t wanna hear this. But I’m really sorry about everything.
Damon: Yeah right. You know what you should do with your regrets? Shove them up your ass and quit bugging us.
Liam: Wait, listen to me. I don’t always understand Noel or his motives. I have no idea why he’s always so aggressive towards you.
Damon: You didn’t stop him.
Liam, sighing: No, I didn’t. But I think we should put this whole thing to an end before someone gets hurt again.
Damon: That’s the first thing you’ve ever said to me that makes sense.
Liam: Look, I have an idea to make it up to you guys.
Damon: Drink a cup of tea on it and forget everything?
Liam: You could come over to our place.
Damon: Your place?!
Liam: Yes. You could stay over for the weekend. There’s plenty of room. There’s plenty of good food.
Damon: And then what? We drink a cup of tea on it there and forget everything?
Liam: I wish it was that simple. But we could try, couldn’t we?
Damon: This is the worst idea ever.
Liam, disappointed: You think so?
Damon: Yes. Do you think Graham would be eager to get a tour around your house?
Liam: How is he doing?
Damon, hissing: He’s fine, thanks.
Liam: What can I do to make you accept my offer?
Damon: I don’t know.
Liam: Damon. I promise we won’t be difficult. We owe you an apology. A few apologies, actually.
Damon: Yes, you do.
Liam: Well, will you please consider it? The offer’s open to you. The rooms are being cleaned this instant.
Damon: We’ll see. I’ll talk to the guys about it.
Liam: I’ll send you the address.
Damon, hanging up: Thanks.

Damon: Yeah, and a very nice day to you, too, fooking wanker. You’ve officially lost your mind.

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